The Emmy B-Team: Variety Series

The Emmys are less than a month away. As always, I'm in the process of spending way too much time thinking about the awards, only to then complain about how they are meaningless, before they even pick the wong winner because the voting process is so fundamentally flawed. In the past, I've worked on projects that involved looking back on prior ceremonies and picking at them (most notably, my list of snubs from 2012). There's plenty of fun in doing that, but this year, I decided to go after the nominations for the 2014 ceremonies.
Every year there are "snubs" when the nominations are announced. Given the dozens of channels with original programming (not to mention the websites), there's always going to be names, shows, episodes, ect. that are overlooked, some justly, some ignorantly, some predictably. The gut reaction is to go on about how the system is broken and offer up a host of ways to improve it. I stopped myself from writing a post about exactly that after some of my favorites were ignored yet again.
Instead, I decided to look into how badly the Emmy voters did botch the picks in the form of an alternate ballot with all the snubs. My thought: if I can make a stonger ballot than the actual one, then I can finally convince myself that there's no value in the Emmys. I'm calling this the Emmy B-Team for a reason though. The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences do a better job than I give them credit for.
One final note: In some categories, I still couldn't fit all the deserving nominees so I approximated as best as I could, and I haven't seen everything, so I'm certain I missed some great ones.

Monday: Reality & the Scruff

We can just call this field "Non-Sitcom comedies" by now, can't we?

Variety Series

A-Team
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Real Time with Bill Maher
Saturday Night Live
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
B-Team
Broad City
Conan
Key & Peele
The Late Show with Craig Ferguson
@midnight
Portlandia
Talk about a stacked field. The Variety Series nominees almost never change and the A-Team is full of giants. The Emmys refuse to acknowledge sketch comedy despite Broad City carrying the most buzz of any show on the list, Key & Peele exploding, and Portlandia as established an outsider looking in as possible (seriously, it has all the other nominations it seemingly can). Conan and Craig Ferguson fill the late night talk show need and @midnight is something completely fresh. Still, the Variety Series field isn't complete without Stewart and Colbert.
Winner: A-Team, but they need to watch their ass before the new kids take over.

Variety Special

A-Team
AFI Life Achievement Award: A Tribute to Mel Brooks
The Beatles: The Night That Changed America
Best of Last Night with Jimmy Fallon Primetime Special
Billy Crystal: 700 Sundays
The Kennedy Center Honors
Sarah Silverman: We Are Miracles
B-Team
Aziz Ansari: Buried Alive
The Comedy Central Roast of James Franco
Hannibal Buress: Live form Chicago
The Improv: 50 Years Behind the Brick Wall
One Night Only: An All-Star Comedy Tribute to Don Rickles
Six By Sondheim
The A-Team is basically a tribute to the Baby Boomers. Being a comedy lover and under the age of 50, I want to pick the team with the stand-up sets from two great comedians, a collection of interviews about The Improv, and the Roast of James Franco. Alas, the A-Team has a lot more polish and variety.
Winner: A-Team, but I don't like it.

Writing - Variety Series

A-Team
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show with Job Stewart
Inside Amy Schumer
Key & Peele
Portlandia
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
B-Team
Broad City
Conan
Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson
@midnight
Real Time with Bill Mahar
SNL
The fact that Inside Amy Schumer and Key & Peele actually got nominated means the Academy is at least paying attention sometimes. I hate to say it, but that's an A-Team that's hard to argue with.
Winner: A-Team, by a mile.

Directing - Variety Series

A-Team
The Colbert Report
The Daily Show
Portlandia
Saturday Night Live
The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
B-Team
Conan
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Key & Peele
Late Show with David Letterman
Real Time with Bill Maher
Much like writing, there's not much to hate with these picks. SNL is always a feat in direction and the other nominees are the top of their field. To be a good snub, I'd have to believe it could win in the category and I wouldn't pick anything in the B-Team to win.
Winner: A-Team, by a kilometer.

Directing - Variety Special

A-Team
The Beatles: The Night That Changed America
The Kennedy Center Honors
The Oscars
Six By Sondheim
The Sound of Music Live!
67th Annual Tony Awards
B-Team
Aziz Ansari: Buried Alive
Billy Crystal: 700 Sundays
The Maya Rudolph Show
Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth
2014 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony
Sting: The Last Ship (Great Performances)
Look, I've seen almost none of these. They all mean the same thing to me, so, for direction, I'm just going to trust whichever group has the Tonys as the better one.
Winner: A-Team

Writing - Variety Special

A-Team
The Beatles: The Night That Changed America
Billy Crystal: 700 Sundays
71st Annual Golden Globes
Sarah Silverman: We Are Miracles
67th Annual Tony Awards
B-Team
Aziz Ansari: Buried Alive
The Comedy Central Roast of James Franco
The Kennedy Center Honors
The Maya Rudolph Show
The Oscars
I'm sorry, the Globes and Tonys trump the stiff Ocars and a failed Variety Series.
Winner: A-Team, by several gold statues.

By now, you realize the point I'm trying to make. The more entertaining game you should be playing is telling me why any of my assessments are wrong. I'm essentially defending the Emmys for god's sake! Please, free me from this madness.