Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Evil Twin

 Let's see, I can only blame computer troubles for about a week of not updating. Oh well, 90% of my traffic comes from people looking for 2012 Emmy Predictions, so I hardly think anyone's disappointed.

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It is a popular belief/theory that everyone has an evil twin. I find this interesting, primarily  because the assumption is that the other twin is the evil one.

Here's a fact: I am my evil twin.

Somewhere out there some guy in Wyoming is a pillar in his community. He does charity work, helps old ladies get across the street, listens to advice from other people, practices restraint from vices, works out daily, eats healthy, speaks loudly enough to hear but quiet enough not to call attention, doesn't have to clear his internet history before someone uses his computer, enjoys having an interesting conversation with a stranger,  finished top of his class in school, busted his ass to get those grades, started for every sports team he ever played on, played on a sports team,  understands chess, posts lists of his accomplishments and accolades on his walls, speaks highly of people when they aren't around, enjoys educational programming, means the book when he makes reference to something, can accurately explain what anyone means by dadaism, dresses nicely, makes bank, has 20 rice bowl kids he sponsors, remembers to stretch before doing physical activity, does physical activity, watches the Special Olympics for the inspiration and competitive spirit of it.

That said, he also hates dogs and watches reality TV, so maybe evil's relative.

How funny is it that we can't just have a twin out there. It has to be an EVIL twin. Honestly, how many people even have eye patches and/or 19th century rail-road tycoon mustaches. I'm deathly afraid of getting an eye injury simply because it will remove all doubt which twin I am. I felt bad for a guy I saw the other day with a big scar down his face. You know everyone thinks there's a guy with no scar accepting a humanitarian of the year award. It's even sadder because, thanks to John Locke on LOST, no one thinks the guy is a badass because he has the scar. I'll save preconceptions ruined by LOST for another time though.