Delayed Reaction: Commando

The Pitch: Arnold Schwarzenegger is strong. Let's do something with that.

What Took Me So Long: I've only been getting into the 80s action movies as a result of The Expendables, god help me.

Why I Saw It: The plot is in the title. I appreciate that. I don't think any movie has been such a blatant showcase for how strong Arnold is, or rather, was. It is over the top, beginning to end and unapologetically so. Rae Dawn Chong is a great audience for everything Arnold is doing and it's fun seeing a young Alyssa Milano*. Best of all, it's a part that makes it easy to ignore Arnold's limited range as an actor. Then again, couldn't that be said about his entire career.

Sindenote: It reminds you how long she's been around. It's amazing she turned out as normal as she didnt...Oh yeah, there was this phase. Still, normal now.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I did get numb to all the carnage by the end. I mean, when he storms the compound at the end. Good god! Did this movie single-handedly solidify the joke about all bad guys in the 80s not being able to hit anything they are shooting at? If not, I'd like to see the movie that did.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: A Night in Casablanca

The Pitch: The Marx brothers do their thing. This time, let's reference another super popular movie.

What Took Me So Long: When you've seen one Marx brothers movie, you've seen them all to some degree.

Why I Saw It: You can't get away with movies like this anymore (see The Three Stooges for proof). I don't think anyone has the showmanship to pull off what the Marx brother collectively do. Vaudeville isn't around anymore. The story as a whole doesn't have a lot to it, but it's all about the individual gags and scenes. The sword fight, for instance: ridiculous, but fun. Best of all, it's under 90 minutes.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: The downside to the Marx brothers movies being so similar is, of course, if you aren't through the moon about one, you won't be about another either, which is where I am. It's fine, but obviously dated and from a generation of humor that I'm not so much for.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

2014 DVR Bloodletting

Another year of this. You know the drill. Same as 2012 and 2013. I'll do a quick inventory of what shows I'm watching live(ish) and how likely I am to continue. The only difference this time is that, due to all the online offerings and my shitty cable package, I'll be including a section for what I would be watching live if I could. It's sort of a cheat, but I made up this game so I can change the rules if I want. 

Absolute Locks to Stay
Mad Men - It only has one season left and it's still one of the best dramas on TV.
The Middle - Yep. I'm moving it up to a lock. I've liked it more with each season and it is aging better than most of the class of 2009 shows.
Parks & Recreation - There is no chance I'm going to stop watching with only one season left.
Louie - This is a wholly unique show and one of the richest TV experiences you are going to find.
Brooklyn Nine Nine - I simply can't fathom a reason why I would not continue making this priority viewing.

Going Down with the Ship
Wilfred - The only show that I know is ending that I'd otherwise wonder if I needed to continue watching it. Being the final season though, I can't find a good reason to quit it.
Cougar Town - I'm done with the series. This season did nothing for me. It's amiable, but that's not enough these days. Then, I heard it would be the final season next year. I can stay on board for that.

80/20
The Walking Dead - I've been impressed enough with the direction of the show that, if nothing else, I absolutely must see what happens when the new season starts.
Tosh.0 - Disposable and funny. If it disappeared, I wouldn't be heartbroken but as long as it's here, I will be too.
The Americans - In reality, it's a lock but I've dropped shows unexpectedly before and it's not a priority series yet.
The Big Bang Theory - Like I'm going to stop now?
Archer - I've never appreciated it as much as it deserves. Such a consistent show.
Saturday Night Live - I like the cast and the writing has been better than people give it credit for.
Hannibal - I still feel like I'm in a special club for watching and appreciating this series.
Agents of SHIELD - Halfway into the season, this was a "One Wrong Move" series but it has found its footing now.
Fargo - I'm not sure how this limited run series thing works but if each season is as enjoyable as this one, then I'm in.
The Mindy Project - Few jokes can guarantee a laugh each episode like this can. If the story had a little more direction, this would be flirting with being a lock.
Parenthood - It made a lot of missteps this season but not enough to outweigh what I find enjoyable about the Braverrmans.

One Wrong Move
New Girl - I'm surprised to see this here too but this season fell so flat for me that it has me wondering if the good runs on the show were a fluke.
Modern Family - To be completely honest, I still watch this because it still gets Emmy love (and I must know why!) and, well, inertia. I'm looking for a reason to stop.
The Bridge - Well acted. Good cast. Interesting story. Great setting. I don't know why I'm not more into this show.

Series Ended/Cancelled
How I Met Your Mother Aunt Robin - Thank God it's over. It's freeing no longer having to worry about it.
Dexter - Another show that I'm simply happy that it finally went away.
Breaking Bad - It hasn't sunk in yet that there won't be another season this summer.
Community - I refuse to believe it's gone. It can't be killed, nor would I want it to be with Dan Harmon in charge.
Suburgatory - After three seasons, it was more a collection of parts than a show. I'm sad but ready for it to be gone.
The Crazy Ones - The most surprising one-and-done of the year.
Back in the Game - A really good show and I'm still not sure why ABC didn't pick it up. Good cast. Competitive ratings. Perfect companion show for The Middle. It makes no sense.
Trophy Wife - I liked it but I also stopped keeping up with it at some point in the season so I can't really be disappointed by this.
The Michael J Fox Show - Did this show ever not work. An astounding miscalculation on every level.

If I Only Had That Channel
Shameless - I hate not having Showtime so I can watch this. Now I'm a season behind and I hate that.
Homeland - I like not having Showtime so I have an excuse to not watch this. I mean, I'll get to it eventually. Claire Danes is too good to ignore, but there's no longer a sense of urgency.
Californication - I think it's on the last season. While I haven't enjoyed the past couple seasons very much, I'm still sad to miss this.

Look at the list below. I probably need to go and get HBO or access to someone's HBO Go account. All of these are shows that I'm a season behind on and would be watching weekly if I had the network.
Game of Thrones
Girls
Veep
Looking
True Detective

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - One of my favorite shows on TV. I'm mad they moved it to a lesser network I don't have.
The League - While I don't hold it in the same esteem as Sunny, it's still something I'm annoyed I can't watch on a weekly basis.
Legit - Actually, it looks like this has been cancelled as well, but I got a season behind due to the FXX switch as well.
Maron - I mainly watch it because I love seeing everyone's attempt at a Louie. It's ok and certainly grew in it's first season.
Rectify - I was so happy that AMC aired all the episodes in a marathon last year. Otherwise, I'm not sure I would've seen in.

Online/A Season Behind
Orange is the New Black - I'll get to the new season eventually. Perhaps not immediately.
House of Cards - It's becoming tradition to binge this as quickly as possible. Not out of love for the show. Just habit.
Sons of Anarchy - I'm comfortable waiting on Netflix for this rather than arranging to follow live.
Scandal - See Sons of Anarchy.
Doctor Who - Not having BBC America doesn't help, but I am all caught up at the moment.

As you can see, I've knocked the list down to 21 somehow. It's not that I and managing time any better. In fact, it's probably quite the opposite. When you consider all the shows that would be on there if I had a better cable package, that balloons to 32, not to mention the shows I follow in non-DVR ways. Hopefully, I'll continue to be a tad more discerning about what I watch and the list won't get too inflated over the next year. I don't have the highest of expectations for myself though. With the increase in online programming, this list is getting more redundant by the week to the point that I'm looking for a different way to report this.

DVR Purge: 5/21-5/27

So, this is the last busy week I'll have for a while. Thankfully I also have the issue of not easily being able to pick a best episode of the bunch. The Hecks in Orlando is a huge episode of The Middle. The Americans, Hannibal, and Mad Men all had spectacular finales. Louie's Elevator saga continues to be incredibly engaging. Fargo is trucking along to. I basically chose my screenshot by a coin flip.

Past Purges 

The Middle "Orlando"
This is how a Heck vacation to Orlando would go. At first, I was disappointed that the whole episode wouldn't be in Disney. Then, I realized that would deprive me of an episode with some of my favorite things in the series, such as the oft mentioned blue bag, the death napkin, and a delightful car discussion that quickly morphs into something out of hand. I'll ignore that business in North Carolina and leave it up to the writers to make it matter next season. It was perfect, PERFECT for the tickets to be for Disney Land instead. I can't think of anything that sums up the Hecks' collective experience over the past five years. Not even getting to ride anything the first day, also brilliant. Mike's reason to want to go to Epcot was sweet. Brick spending hours selecting a hat and continually losing track of it couldn't fit him more. I giggled all the way through them discovering the wonders of their luxury suite (anyone else half expecting it to be the room in Cinderella's Castle?). This is the kind of episode that Modern Family has relied on to keep things fresh for years but The Middle has held back from doing and it was well worth the wait.

Modern Family "Wedding Part 2"
Last week was funny but very busy setting up stories for this week and the conclusion predictably fell short of tying them all up effectively, or at least entertainingly. If you've been keeping up, I haven't been crazy about the stuff going on between Jay and Mitchell, partly because you know it's going to get neatly solved in this episode and it very predictably did. I've heard a lot of people found Jay walking Mitchell up the aisle sweet. I was too irritated by the mechanisms at work to find much to appreciate. The wedding location moving was a running gag without a punchline and felt more like a plot mechanism than anything. Phil got a great moment with Claire when delivering the vows...that's about the only genuine moment in the episode. I particularly found the Manny/Luke "marriage" to be a poor choice considering the arc of the season involved the legitimacy of Cam and Mitchel's marriage and that undercut it. That does remind me, Cam and Mitchel got along the whole episode and functioned like a good couple. That's two episodes in a row. Could the streak continue into next season? I doubt it. I was originally indifferent about the episode, but then a friend got me thinking about it a little more. This was a season finale and an "event episode". It should've been so much better.

The Americans "Echo"
Phenomenal season. I'm laughing at my assumption that not much would happen in the finale and that a lot of loose ends would still be around. Rather effectively, they resolved a lot of the stories in impressive fashion. Larrick's gone but not before revealing that he was out to turn himself, Phillip, and Elizabeth in, not kill them. Jared is already working for the Russians and it turns out he killed his family. WHAT?! I didn't not see that coming. Marth has a gun now to go along with everything else we learned from last week. Stan's still a company man and leaves Nina to fend for herself. That fits his character but still sucked to see because I like Nina. Hopefully they'll find a way to continue to use her without hitting the reset button on the whole story and giving her a magic way out. This second generation program has potential to create a major rift in Phillip and Elizabeth now that she's leaning back into "true believer" mode. Finale's of great shows have been deflating me some lately (Breaking Bad, True Detective) so it's nice to see a show having a great season end on a high note like this too.

Hannibal "Mizumono"
There are times when watching this show when I simply don't feel smart enough to be watching it. The latter half of this season and the finale in particular were like that. I'm not sure I fully understood what was going on, but boy was it pretty to watch. I've gone this entire season assuming Will was fully on the side against Hannibal but there were times at the beginning of the episode where I began to wonder. Why was he coaching both sides and how did they know that there would be a fight. And how was Abigail still alive? And can we assume she is dead this time? And who else is dead? And how long has Gillian Anderson's character been on Hannibal's side? And who is going to take care of Will's dogs now that his entire support system is, at best, in the ICU? I fully understand why this show can't pull in better ratings. It is an isolating show that challenges its audience. I've taken to just letting it wash over me rather than try to fully understand what I'm watching. It's a good thing it is getting a third season, because things are too open-ended right now. The number of questions I have may actually lead me to reading some of the Thomas Harris novels just for some context, even if the show keeps changing things up (which is fine). Regardless, a wonderfully odd season.

Mad Men "Waterloo"
I'm a little divided about this episode. On one hand, how many more times is the company going to be bought out, escape buyout, or combine with another firm? Perhaps it more accurately reflects how those places work but it's getting stale at this point. On the other hand, everything else was as perfect as the show gets.
Peggy...wow. She Don Drapered the crap out of that pitch. I laughed when one of the Burger Chef guys was brought to tears. It was so great that I worry if anything left in the final 7 episodes can match that for her.
I'm going to be Bert Cooper. He got a find send-off though. At first, I was bothered by the song-and-dance but that quickly changed. I don't know why it was fitting. It just was.
One of John Slattery's strongest episodes in a 7 episode run surprisingly full of them. He and Bert was seemingly always at odds but he really did look up to Bert and it's a big loss for him. When he calls Don to let him know...that was killer.
The entire scene at the end with the partners discussion the sale was pitch perfect. Roger's delight at excluding Harry. Pete and Joan counting the amount of money they're set to make. Don summing up everything he's learned over the past couple seasons to convince Teddy. Even Cutler's reasoning of being on board because "It's a lot of money".
We got more Sally and it didn't mean we got more Betty than we needed. That's a balance I like.
It looks like we are finally seeing the end of Don and Megan. Let's be honest, this was inevitable and she mostly got in the way this year. I will be sad if we don't see more of Jessica Pare though.
It's absurd that were are all ready out of Mad Men episodes for the year. This [half] season started off a little sluggish. It made up for that with two very good episodes at the end that leave me excited for how they close it out next year.

Louie "Elevator Parts 4 & 5"
This is only going to end rough, isn't it? The end of the second episode with Amia leaving isn't encouraging although it's hard to tell considering, you know, she speaks a completely different language. I still spend far too much of their time together trying to figure out how they spend so much time together unable to converse traditionally. I'm assuming that the hockey game they went to was with the tickets from "the fat lady" a couple weeks back which is funny in a sad way. This week was less focused on the arching narrative though and opted for a couple of side stories. The first aside is a flashback, presumably to the night that Lily was conceived, which shows how doomed that marriage was. The second aside is a triumphant story by Todd Berry Barry about a random day in the life of a lonely, single man. All of this matches up with the feelings of loneliness that Louie has that really seem to be the focus on this Elevator story. Very curious to see where this is going in the final act next week.

Fargo "Who Shaves the Barber?"
I want to punch Lester in the fucking face. Damn he played the cops well. Kind of like Malvo's frame-job last week, I think it came together a little too perfectly. Once it did though, I was all about hating his face. No offense to his wife, but who would cheating on Clueless the TV series' Rachel Blanchard with her? Lester is getting very confident lying his way into revenge sex with Hess' widow. As much as I hate him now, a little part of me wanted to fist bump him for living it up. Kate Walsh, again is excellent in the smallest of roles.
I don't know which pleased me more, that Molly was not only fine, but barely scathed or that Gus immediately admitted it was him. In both cases, they established themselves even more as the heroes of this series.
Malvo's rampage was a thing of beauty, following the less is more approach in spectacular fashion. That is coincided with the introduction of Key and Peele as hapless FBI agents made it all the better.
And I'm so happy they explained the fish tornado. As I asked last week though: that really happens?

Delayed Reaction: Open Water

The Pitch: Hey, let's use fear of abandonment and isolation to scare the living shit out of people.

What Took Me So Long: I didn't want to be scared of swimming for a while.

Why I Saw It: It's winter (when I'm writing this). I'm not going swimming any time soon. I had to see what this micro-budget hit was all about. You know, there's few more terrifying thoughts than being lost at see, especially without a boat. No way to be located or to let anyone know you are missing. The movie manages to keep a one note fear interesting a lot longer than I expected and the performances of the two leads (they aren't famous, so I won't bother listing their names) is above average, especially considering they had to be swimming the whole time.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Ignoring the nightmares about being abandoned at sea that followed (I saw that one coming), I had a couple other issues. For one, I don't see how they remained so calm. They got a little angry and a little panicky. Most of the time they spent uncomfortably relaxed. Perhaps I'm displacing my own feelings but that didn't seem right. In general, I mentioned before, it's a one note premise. Once they've been abandoned there isn't much until when they finally accept that they've been abandoned. I don't know if that's something that could be fixed by a better director or superior camera, maybe a score. You know, a movie only has to be an hour to be considered a full-length feature. This is a case where going for the 90 minutes is excessive.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: X-Men: Days of Future Past

Formula: X-Men / Back to the Future

Why I Saw It: When these movies click, they can be my favorite in the genre.

Cast: That's the big appeal of this one, right? The best of the old and the best of the new.Hugh Jackman bridges the gap between the two casts and he's never been better (or somehow, in better shape) in the role. For the second time, Michael Fassbender and James McAvoy excel in the unenviable task of playing Magneto and Prof. Xavier, this time with Ian McKellen and Patrick Stewart offering direct comparison. It's nice seeing Jennifer Lawrence again although she's weird in this role. I don't get the menace of Raven/Mystique that Rebecca Romijn brought to it, probably because, since it is J-Law in the blue makeup, they give her more dialogue and story than she needs. Nicholas Hoult reminds American audiences that he's still around, waiting for someone a role fitting his talent. Peter Dinklage is, essentially, the villain who they don't bother developing into a rounded out character. Pretty much everyone else in the universe shows up for at least a scene. There's a lot of masters being served (or underserved) in this one.

Plot: Finally, the sentinels! Even as a non-Comic reader I know that we should've seen the sentinels before now. The plot centers around a time-travelling (a power that Kitty Pryde turns out to have. Who knew?) plan that transports Logan/Wolverine back to 1973 to stop a series of events that lead to the creation of the sentinels. From there, it's a matter of getting the gang back together and really, saving everyone from themselves. Meanwhile, the future group (Storm, Ice Man, Kitty Prye, Iceman, Bishop, Colossus, Magneto, Prof. Xavier, and other's I'm forgetting) hold off the sentinels for as long as they can. It's a much more effective blending of the old and the new in the series than I expected allowing Bryan Singer to successfully have his cake and eat it too. The only downside is that it left me wanting a full movie with each cast rather than this 70/30 split with 1973 dominating the time.

Elephant in the Room: Time travel? There's never going to be a good way to do time travel that's going to be scientifically sound (which makes sense since, you know, we can't travel through time), so the best you can hope for is something that  doesn't distract you for too long. Having a world of mutants helps make anything more plausible and they come up with an explanation tailor-made for Wolverine where a person's consciousness is sent back in time to take over the body from the past. It's still not a pretty explanation but it's functional.

Movie Theater MVP (Most Valuable Patron): I'm awarding this to the woman sitting behind me who, whenever they put the name of the city their in at the bottom of the screen, she would repeat it out loud. Normally, this would annoy me, but each time she'd say it with such wonder, like she'd never heard the word "Moscow" before that I had to smile.

Movie Theater LVP: The ass-hat who thought that because he dimmed to screen a little no one would mind if he checks his email for 10 minutes. I was in such disbelief that he was being such a prick that I forgot to say "Hey, dumbass! This is a one screen experience" or something clever like that.

To Sum Things Up:
The X-Men series should be a lot bigger than it is. 2000's X-Men kicked off this superhero craze that have defined cinema for a decade and a half. X2 used the freedom afforded by the success of the first movie to build the franchise into something big, messy, and crow-pleasing. Nine years, one failed re-imagining of the Phoenix saga, 2 disappointing Wolverine stand-alones, and woefully overlooked prequel later, they really needed this movie to finish the story and hit the reset button, giving them their own "Phase 2" like the Disney Marvel movies. In that respect Days of Future Past is a complete success, ignoring individual plot mechanisms that don't entirely follow. Now, the series has the luxury problem of too many good actors to populate a movie with and the freedom to go in whatever direction they want. It's hard for me to talk about the movie on its own because it very clearly is functioning as a "let's get things back on track" story that is needed to setup X-Men Apocalypse as the kind of slug-fest that could bring it to an Avengers level (even if $600 million is a little unattainable). So, as a piece of franchise building, this movie is very effective, and as a stand-alone experience, it is exciting enough to keep you entertain from start to finish while not requiring any sort of deep comic knowledge.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: What's Eating Gilbert Grape

The Pitch: Johnny Depp needs to be brooding more often. Make it happen.

What Took Me So Long: Leo playing a handicapped kid has reached punchline status and actively deterred me for a while.

Why I Saw It: For all the snide jokes, Leonardo DiCaprio is great in this. Had I never seen him before, I'd be surprised to find out he didn't have a little something wrong in his head. I know this is the Johnny Depp period that purists are supposed to love but I like that he smiles these days. He is perfectly equipped to play the angst-filled Gilbert. It was nice seeing John C. Reilly pop up too.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: When it was over, I couldn't help but wonder "what's the point?". I know this was adapted from a book and I have to assume that the book does a much better job explaining what I was supposed to take away from it. A lot of the dialogue is the type of thing that works well in a book, but when it is spoken, sounds like the characters are quoting a book (weird, right?). I'm always bummed out when a movie has a character with a shitty life and it ends with his life now being only bearable. Sure, call me simple-minded. I don't care. I like me a good, happy Hollywood ending.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Sophie's Choice

The Pitch: A coming of age story, then a romance, then Nazis being Nazis.

What Took Me So Long: Well, I already knew what the choice was, so it lost a lot of its intrigue.

Why I Saw It: "Sophie's Choice" is almost too much of an idiom for me to not have seen this. Then again, that argument still hasn't gotten me to read Catch 22. Meryl Streep is wholly deserving of the praise she gets for playing Sophie. I kept expecting Kevin Kline to crack a smile at some point and he never did. I suppose that's called commitment.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I can't say I'm a huge fan of the back and forth between the present and Sophie's past. It's interesting to see what happened to her and the moment when she had to choose between her children is heartbreaking, but I don't always see how it applies to what is going on in her life in the movie's present. I also don't understand the point of the evil of the Nazi forcing her to choose. At times this movie is just a mixed bag of dramatic moments with only a loose larger story in mind.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Madagascar 3

The Pitch: Circus Zebra! Circus Zebra! Zebra with an Afro! Circus Zebra!

What Took Me So Long: That's Circus Zebra trailer got annoying. I needed some time.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This is a decent animated franchise. The voice actors are all well-chosen. The story is simple enough for the audience yet deep enough to have a message. The circus element is different enough to keep things fresh. They've left the series open-ended so this could be the last (not likely) or go in nearly any direction they want (I know I'd see Madagascar In Space...) and that has to count for something.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Relocating to Europe is not an engaging enough change to keep my interest. Mostly though, I found myself writing this a couple weeks after seeing it, by accident, and I can hardly recall details of this one from either of the previous movies. That can't be a good sign.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Cars 2

The Pitch: You know what Cars was missing? Espionage.

What Took Me So Long: Mader has to be the most annoying character Pixar has ever come up with and a movie that promised more spotlight on him promised to be a daunting task.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) It's still Pixar. Even bad Pixar is pretty good, right? There's bits of the humor in this, so I got a chuckle or two. The look of it is pretty too.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: That's as far as I can go with the positive. This was both awful in story and in message. Everything about Mader being mistaken was terrible and lazy story telling that Pixar is normally better than. I also get a little irritated when Pixar tries to sneak in a political message (hence really disliking Wall-E) so the clean fuel cover up is simply cringe-worthy for me. I hope they make enough money from the toys that we don't see another shameless cash-grab like this for many years.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

DVR Purge: 5/15-5/20

Still just enough on TV to give me something every night. That's the last time I'll have that until fall.

Past Purges 

Big Bang Theory "Tha Status Quo Combustion"
The Big Bang Theory is one of the most obvious shows when it comes to buying time over the summer. They've had trips to Antarctica, boat voyages, and missions to outer space to buy time. These always revert back to business as usual within an episode or two of the premiere, so it's hard to watch Sheldon leaving as little more than a way to burn off a couple months in the timeline, which, let's be honest, with no character in school by a traditional timeline and a setting that's eternal sunshine, there's no need to have a sense of time passed, but whatever. It's their prerogative. The episode itself? Eh, whatever. Nothing special. BBT isn't much for buzz-worthy finales. Last week was the "big episode". This was a fine episode and does a nice job summing Sheldon's experiences over the season. I'm curious to see how much they loosen him up at the beginning of next season.

Hannibal "Tome Wan"
This is the first episode I can say was hard for me to watch. Mason eating his own face is one of those images that only Hannibal can pull off and even still it almost seemed like a stretch. While I hope that's not the last we see of Margot and Mason, there's no need for them in the finale. I feel like there's going to be enough positioning needed with Will, Hannibal, and Jack get us to that fight scene without them dominating the story. I can't believe there's only one episode left.

SNL "Andy Samberg/St. Vincent"
I'm glad when the finale (or premiere) is a former cast member because these things are an excuse to bring back familiar faces for cameos, so you might as well get someone used to being a team player. Let's see, tonight had Samberg, Kristen Wiig, Bill Hader, Seth Meyers, Maya Rudolph, Fred Armisen, Jason Sudeikis, Paul Rudd, and I'm probably forgetting someone. That's a lot, and it's fine because Samberg wasn't going to level the live segments anyway. The regular cast took a slight backseat as expected. Now it's all about wondering who will be back next year. You can't feel good about everyone coming back given how large the cast is and how few departures are known already (just Nasim Pedrad, I think). Regardless, this is a strong core cast right now and I'm felling good heading into next season. If I was a better man, I'd say John Milhiser and Brooks Wheelan are gone.

Mad Men "The Strategy"
I love Don and Peggy getting along. They are my favorite thing and it's so rare to see them loose around one another that it makes episodes like these that much sweeter. You know, it's also been a while since we saw some good work on a pitch for a company. And, this in an episode that also has the return of Bob Benson and Trudy. Mad Men, you spoil me. There's a lot I could go on about that this episode did so well, but I'll stop with that.

Louie "Elevator Part 2 and 3"
This is turning into quite the epic story. It feels so much like a piece of a larger whole that I'm struggling to pass any judgment on it yet. I certainly won't be talking about these as separate episodes. It's been a while since I've seen Pamela Adlon in anything so I wasn't ready for her rapport with Louie. Has it always been that abusive? I hope that's not all we see of her. Then again, I think Louie, the character, has outgrown her to some degree. There are times when I don't know if Louie or Jon Favreau from Swingers is more awkward about women. Pleading with Amia not to go after spending one day with her, telling Pamela that he's already in a relationship, bringing up his girl problems with Dr. Bigelow. I squirmed during all these things. There's no way all this ends any better for Louie than a moral victory but I'm certainly curious to see how he gets there. Apparently, we are only at the halfway point of the story.

Fargo "Buridan's Ass"
In terms of how the story plays out, this episode has most relied of chance more than any. Malvo relied on the SWAT team going all-in against Don in the frame job (How did they no there weren't any hostages in there? They went guns blazing which is the only way the plan works for Malvo). Lester happens to get a bunkmate with a bandaged face and who is passed out the whole time and no one bothers to check on Lester the entire time he is gone. The only way Malvo survives the shootout is the white out (well, probably. I've stopped questioning his limitations). I'm not even sure what to make of Semenko, Dmitri, and the fish (Is that something that happens in that area or is it meant to be as weird as it seems?) but it works into the final biblical plague. So, yeah, the episode isn't all that tight. This is a messy show though and it bothers me less than it would with other shows. This is so darkly comedic that I simply don't care. That shootout was so muted and excellent. I sure hope Molly is ok, although I can see a version of the show where her death is used to fuel other characters, most notably Gus.

Delayed Reaction: Rush Hour 3

The Pitch: Same as the first two. This time, in Paris.

What Took Me So Long: I hadn't seen the first two movies until recently, so that held me back.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Despite Chris Tucker getting on my nerves and Jackie Chan being unable to rise above the material he is given, these movies are still fun to watch. It's light-hearted comedy with cleverly choreographed fight scenes. The plot is secondary. It sticks to formula in a way that I appreciate.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It's a formula that only goes so far in its ability to entertain me. I like this movie. I don't love it. The comedy is chuckle-worthy at best and the action isn't especially thrilling. Granted, I don't think anyone believed they were making Die Hard. However, comparing it to Die Hard with a Vengence is apropos.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Godzilla

Formula: (Cloverfield * Pacific Rim) / Battleship

Why I Saw It: Legendary Pictures + Big Monsters = Something I'm going to see.

Cast: Do not be fooled, Aaron Taylor-Johnson is the "lead" of this movie. By that, I mean he's on the screen the most. The movie almost goes out of its way to not make him a character. I don't know if I should blame Taylor-Johnson for lacking charisma or the script for giving him NOTHING. Brian Cranston, despite being all over the ads, is a supporting character. He tries his best to make something of the character but mostly has to lean into over-acting. Elizabeth Olsen, the talent she is, only gets slop minutes as the damsel in distress. Ken Watanabe has a good sized role that consists of telling everyone they are being idiots. Sally Hawkins has a smaller role that requires her to do nothing but agree with Watanabe. The humans in the movie aren't given much to do, which is not an accident. Godzilla and the Mutos are understandably the focus of the movie.

Plot: I'd hardly call this movie spoiler-y but if there is something to spoil, this is it: Godzilla is a good guy. That means, the plot of the movie is that two monsters start ravaging the earth. Humans keep trying to stop them but only make things worse. Then, Godzilla shows up and handles things. In short, it is exactly what you should expect from a Godzilla movie. From the human perspective though, this is an atrocious script filled with coincidence after coincidence that stack up to an absurd degree. The simple fact that Taylor-Johnson spans continents to be repeatedly in the exact right place is almost too much to handle. That is, if you care about the human element. And that's why the movie may get more mileage with some than others. The movie is about the monsters but is told from the human point of view. If you accept that, then the ridiculous positioning of all the humans is forgivable.

Elephant in the Room: What about Godzilla? I regret not seeing this on a bigger screen. After the success of Pacific Rim last year, I should've known they would do Godzilla, the creature, justice. He (and the other monsters) are BIG. The sense of scale is impressive and the restraint in showing Godzilla is impressive. There's glimpses throughout the movie, but it makes you anxiously wait to see what it can do.

To Sum Things Up:
I can't stress enough that there are two ways to watch this: as a disaster movie or as a monster movie. If you watch this as a disaster movie, which is how it's been sold in the ads (and if you are expecting a lot of Cranston), then I'm not sure how you come away feeling good about this. If you watch this as a monster movie, it's an impressive movie that delivers. Either way, this is a vast improvement over the 1998 Godzilla and does a much better job capturing the spirit of the franchise.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: In the Line of Fire

The Pitch: Clint Eastwood is an old lawman trying to save the day...yeah, another one of those.

What Took Me So Long: This didn't look markedly different from a lot of other movies from this time period (see Blown Away or No Way Out to name two).

Why I Saw It: I like Clint Eastwood and he has been playing the "I'm getting too old for this shit" game since before Danny Glover had a gray hair, so this is a good part for him. John Malkovich is clearly having a good time as the villain (a little shocked that he pulled off an Academy Award nomination for it though). It's an interestingly subdued thriller in that it doesn't rely on a lot of action to keep it going. I liked that but, I'll admit, as someone who is on three screens while watching a movie, it makes it harder to pay attention to. That's my problem though. Not the movie's.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: In movies like this, there's always the risk that the villain outdoes the hero. Sometimes, that works in the movies favor (The Dark Knight). Other times, it highlights how underdeveloped the hero is (The Rock comes to mind). The latter is the case here as I found myself fairly bored by Eastwood's old but effective agent when put up again Malkovich's mastermind seeking revenge.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

DVR Purge: 5/12-5/14

It's nice that with Parks & Rec. and Community gone (for the summer or forever as the case may be), I have Louie here to fill in.

Past Purges 

Louie "So Did the Fat Lady/Elevator Part 1"
Whoa! Who knew the cat-lady from Go On had that in her? I shouldn't be surprised, Louie has a history of getting the most out of female guest stars in particular (Melissa Leo, Parker Posey, Pamela Adlon). Add Sarah Baker to that list. Her speech was phenomenal in one of those "you can't just read it to get the full effect" way. Just great. It's a shame the season plays the way it does because "Model" last week and "So Did the Fat Lady" this week would've made a great hour. The second episode had some good stuff too. Mostly setup, but the subway experience was pretty great in its own right.

Agents of SHIELD "The Beginning of the End"
Bravo! Stuck the landing. This episode avoided all the traps that I was worried they'd fall into, most notably not trying to redeem Ward. There's signs that he's going to find his way back on the team down the line, but now would be too soon and the writers recognized this. Also, we still have Triplett, who I assumed would be fodder for cheap emotion to be killed off in the finale. Setting the next season up as the rebuilding of SHIELD essentially bring us back to where we were in the pilot, but with the team rapport already established which was one of the bumpiest aspects of the show at the beginning of the season. While it's far from making a "Top Shows" list for me, I couldn't be more pleased with how the show has developed over the year.

Fargo "The Six Ungraspables"
To answer my question from last week: infection is why Lester's hand got worse. That makes sense. I have to remind myself that this is a limited series so the whole story will be told by the end of the season. We are at the halfway point of the season, but I'm so used to feet-dragging in shows, that it surprised me when, say, Molly was able to convince Bill that Lester should be a suspect. Still, the greatest thing about this show continues to be Lorne. I got chills at how effectively he intimidated Gus's neighbor.

The Middle "Heck on a Hard Body"
If the only point of this episode was to setup Sue (and presumably the rest of the Hecks) going to Disney World next week, that would be enough. The episode does right by Sue in almost every way. Her greatest strength, her tenacity, gets her the win. Darrin stands by her in a surprisingly sweet argument. We even get Brad's offer to help her win the car which is a great reminder that while the world tends to shit on Sue, her inner circle is as committed to her as anyone's friends and family. It was about time that we had another episode where Frankie and Axl bond. The same goes with Mike and Brick. Norm McDonald's return is very welcome. His comedic persona works really well in the world of The Middle.

Suburgatory "Stiiiiiiill Horny"
Was that the series finale or do we have another episode left? Boy, this show sure is going out with a whimper. It was never a focused show but I'd still like something that felt a bit more like an end. I think I've been spoiled by too many other shows preemptively writing a series finale into the end of every season. Regardless, I will sort of miss Suburgatory. It was such a likable show and did better by most of the members of the cast than I think they'll ever get again. Jane Levy, Jeremy Sisto, and Cheryl Hines will be fine but it'll be tough to find something that uses Carly Chaikin or Allie Grant as well.

Modern Family "The Wedding (Part 1)"
Let's break this up by story:
Cam, Mitchell, & Lily: You know my stance on this. If those two a working together I almost always enjoy them. Just about everything at the Dry Cleaner (not remembering the man's name, Cam explaining their dynamic, Lily getting stuck) was great. I could do without the required story about the wedding plans falling apart, but what are you going to do? It's a sitcom wedding. That's how they go.
Phil & Alex: They made an excellent comedic duo. I couldn't stop laughing when Alex chewed out the store employee when it started looking like Phil's plan was going to fall apart.
Luke & Claire: Am I crazy or hasn't the show already covered that Luke is some kind of genius in his own right? They keep trying to backtrack him into being an idiot while at the same time not doing that. It makes for a funny joke this week with him thinking of "Alex's plan" but it's making me feel crazy.
Haley & the manny: Are we supposed to be rooting for them to get together? If it gets Haley more screen time, I'm for it.
Jay & Merle: Seriously. What the fuck!? This story is coming out of nowhere a little too much for me. It requires so much backtracking of Jay's development that it comes off as forced.
The Others: I don't know. This was a very busy episode and I forget a lot of what happened.

The Americans "You Can't Take It With You"
After last year's quiet finale, I'm not expecting to much to go down next week. There's a lot that could potentially happen though. A lot of moving parts right now. Larrick is still tracking Philip and Elizabeth down. I doubt we are finished with Jared. There's still the matter of figuring out who killed Leanne and Emmett. Oleg has morphed into a very dangerous wild card. I have no idea what is going on in Nina's head or where her allegiance lands right now. Stan is backed in a corner and I don't know how he'll respond to it. Paige is getting suspicious and, based on how last season ends, looks primed to make a discovery about her parents. Then there's Martha who, in a single episode went from hapless pawn to adept obstacle, what with stealing CIA documents to make a point, revealing she knows Philip is wearing a wig, and all that baby talk (she's not already pregnant, is she?). Too much is going on to resolve it all so I'm interested to see what they choose to keep open-ended.

Delayed Reaction: Confessions of a Dangerous Mind

The Pitch: It's like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead! but with a game show host.

What Took Me So Long: I simply never had an opportunity to see this and I kept getting it confused with Auto Focus.

Why I Saw It: I like George Clooney as a director. I like Charlie Kaufman as a writer. I like Sam Rockwell as an actor. In short, I liked this movie. It's funny and strange. It plays out like a puzzle, taking what is known of Chuck Barris' public life/persona and figuring out how this CIA assassin life could fit in. Drew Barrymore, Julia Roberts, and George Clooney (pulling double-duty) were all great in this. I really like how it takes this crazy story seriously and tries to show how it could happen.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Watching this reminds me how much of a bummer it is that Charlie Kaufman hasn't written more movies (that have been made and released, that is).

Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

Movies That Aren't Sequels (But Should Be)

One of my favorite posts on the blog was a list a made a couple years ago that are not sequels but should be, based on title alone. Here it is if you missed it the first time. It's been long enough that I've found a couple more movies to add to the list.

As I said the first time, there's plenty more of these to be found so I'll hopefully be back with more soon. Let's begin:

One of my favorite posts on the blog was a list a made a couple years ago that are not sequels but should be, based on title alone. Here it is if you missed it the first time. It's been long enough that I've found a couple more movies to add to the list.

As I said the first time, there's plenty more of these to be found so I'll hopefully be back with more soon. Let's begin:

Midnight Cowboy (1969) / Urban Cowboy (1980)

After gobbling up Oscar wins and nominations on its way to an impressive box office haul, why wouldn't someone want to make a sequel? I can understand Jon Voight not being on board to reprise his role and John Travolta isn't the worst person to fill in. As it turns out though, these movies aren't at all related.

Bandits (2001) / Bandidas (2006)

You know what this crime caper starring Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thorton needs? Yes, a sequel aimed at a Latino audience starring Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz. I've looked into it, and that couldn't be any further from what the movies actually are.

Dumbo (1941) / Operation Dumbo Drop (1995)

Yes, it seemed really unlikely that Operation Dumbo Drop was a sequel, what with the 54 year gap and switch from animation to live-action. But, both movies were produced by Disney, so how is it my fault for getting confused.

Little Darlings (1980) / Little Children (2006)

Laugh if you will but this could've been a "next generation" type of thing with Tatum O'Neal and Kristy McNichol's roles going to Kate Winslet and Jennifer Connelly.  When you look at the plot, this isn't completely ridiculous.

Last Night (2010) / About Last Night (2014)

So sue me. I assumed this was a Before Sunrise/Before Midnight situation. I was very wrong. It turns out that About Last Night was actually a remake of another movie of the same title. I'm giving myself partial credit for calling that the movie wasn't completely original.

Knockaround Guys (2001) / Stand Up Guys (2012)

What happens when you get knocked around? Yeah, you stand back up. I knew nothing else about the movies than that. Switch out Dennis Hopper for Al Pacino and Vin Diesel for Christopher Walken and BAM! franchise potential.

Honeymoon in Vegas (1992) / Leavng Las Vegas (1995)

I think I was most justified by being confused about this one. After all, both are Nic Cage movies about Vegas and one came out three years after the other. Granted, there are slight tonal differences and what are the odds that the sequel gets all the Oscar love?

Daylight (1996) / Twilight (1998)

Check the titles and the years. Yeah, one is an action movie and the other a crime mystery and sure, none of the actors are the same. I don't see why they still couldn't be in the same movie franchise. Yet again, I was mistaken.

Housesitter (1992) / Houseguest (1995)

I thought about putting The Crazysitter here too but these two are the most likely to be related. Nope. It turns out that Sinbad is not a sufficient substitute for Goldie Hawn. It's not my fault for being confused.

Never Back Down (2008) / Won't Back Down (2012)

Look, the first movie is the assertion: "I'll never back down". The second is reasserting that: "No, I won't back down". Well, I was right. The dance/action movie, Never Back Down, did have franchise potential in the form of the action movie, Never Back Down 2: The Beatdown, not the education drama, Won't Back Down.

Delayed Reaction: In the Name of the Father

The Pitch: The downside to The Troubles...the other downside.

 
What Took Me So Long: In my life, I thought it was about something much different. In the past year, I knew it was one I couldn't be watching with split attention.

Why I Saw It: Daniel Day-Lewis gets to use his actual accent. That's enough for me. It's one part courtroom drama, one part prison movie, and all parts "Oh, that's what it was like." It made me want to lookup the events of the story it was based on, which I think is the highest praise a "based on true events" movie can get.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It was a little long and I can't say I was terribly engaged by it. The Troubles are an interesting and under discussed period in movies (or at least the ones that I watch) so I was hoping to pull a little more out of this. The acting is top notch though, as is often the case when Daniel Day-Lewis and Emma Thompson get top billing.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Reds

The Pitch: Communists, they're no so bad.

What Took Me So Long: The main thing stopping me once I saw it was streaming on Netflix was the length (over 3 hours). That's long for a movie that didn't promise a lot of things blowing up or nekkid' people, and even still, those things only gets me to the third hour.

Why I Saw It: It would help if I had any idea who John Reed and Louise Bryant were before I saw this. The acting is top notch. We don't see Warren Beatty anymore these days so it easy to forget that his is one of the best actor/directors Hollywood has ever scene. I was most impressed by Diane Keaton. Louise Bryant could easily be a character in the movie that annoys me but Keaton keeps me rooting for her. Jack Nicholson has a smaller role but a good one.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I'm, avoiding the story for a reason. It wasn't boring, exactly. I'd stick with needlessly long. When a movie is as long as this is, I expect there to be a reason for it and I couldn't tell you the reason for this. This has the feel of a mini-series rather than a movie.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: Neighbors

Formula: Duplex / Animal House

Why I Saw It: Take your pick. I love comedies. The cast is wonderful. It's not like I was going to see Moms' Night Out. I'll stop there.

Cast: I'm unapologetically a huge Seth Rogen fan which helped get me into the theater. What's odd is that he's more of the eyes into the world than the person driving the mayhem. Don't get me wrong, he has some great moment s and does fine work but no one is coming out of the theater talking about him after seeing this. Rose Byrne has done nothing but impress me with her comedic turns. While largely playing the heel in Bridesmaids and Get Him to the Greek, she gets her chance to play a more accessible, comedic character and nails it. I appreciate that Zach Effron is giving comedy his full effort here. He's not as polished as some of those around him but he's still very good. The supporting performances are numerous and hilarious. Dave Franco keeps making a play at becoming my favorite Franco. Christopher Mintz-Plasse has done all he needs to to escape McLovin'. I'm not sure if I've see Jerrod Carmichael before. After this, I'm sure I will though. Ike Barinholtz brings, well, basically that character he plays in things to this movie and it fits perfectly. And don't forget Apatow journeyman Carla Gallo who makes the most of her limited screen time. In short, it's a great cast for a comedy.

Plot: Frat vs. Family. There's not much more to it than that. Rogen and Byrne buy a house. A frat moves in next door. A battle to be the last one standing ensues. There's actually a lot in there about what happens when you grow up and the importance of doing so. None of it gets in the way of the laughs, but like how Forgetting Sarah Marshall has more heart than you'd expect, this does too. I want to stress however, nothing is ever at the expense of forgetting to be funny.

Elephant in the Room: How long is it? A problem with comedies these days, especially ones in the Judd Apatow Universe (I should note he is not a producer for this although Rogen is) is that the final product is often exhaustingly long with a lot of fat left to be trimmed. It's normally because the looser filming structure gives the editor a wealth of material to use. This works well in something like Knocked up. More often though, you get This Is 40 or Anchorman 2, which overstay their welcomes. That is not the case with Neighbors. It's barely 90 minutes and doesn't drag at all. That said, I can't wait to get the director's cut of this because there is certain to be a lot of deleted scenes and alternate cuts.

Now Hear Me Out: I've come up with an alternate way to watch it. I like to pretend this is a sequel of Superbad the way that Get Him to the Greek is of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. The common link is that McLovin' becomes Scoonie after failing out of Dartmouth for being too much of a badass. I'm not sure how well this works, but I certainly believe the two movies belong in the same universe.

To Sum Things Up:
I loved this movie. It's the most I've laughed since...This Is the End, I guess, and it a much better cut movie. It looks like this is going to be a big comedy hit and I won't begrudge its success like I did with The Hangover. It's a director I love, with a collection of actors I like watching, and screenwriters I'm happy to follow to their next project. If you like to laugh, this is worth your time.

Oh, and that baby is adorable.

Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

DVR Purge: 5/5-5/11

Louie is back and I couldn't be happier, especially because it gives me something else to watch with most of these other shows preparing to finish off their seasons.

Past Purges 

Louie "Back/Model"
I definitely enjoyed Back more of the two episodes. It was a scattered collection of stories layered with the constant humiliations of Louie's life. The super who doesn't get how a simple joke works, his daughters exhausted by his effort to explain the benefits of hard work, the old lady helping him to the cab, the doctor basically saying "Life sucks. Deal with it". It's a great episode to return with because it highlights so much about the show that's great and unique.
Model is a bit more divisive. It definitely asks us to watch it in a vacuum more than most episodes. Clearly Louie is better at not bombing than that and he's certainly not "poor" as the episode implies. That said, it's a wonderfully uncomfortable episode and a lot easier to accept when you remember this is all told from his perspective, even when it's being presented as the truth. So, something like how Jerry is acting the whole time reflects how Louie feels more than how Jerry was probably acting. I'm very torn about what happened with the model (beautifully played by Yvonne Strahovski). The accidental punching is funny, but I could easily see how this could trouble some viewers and the extent of the damage is laying it on a little thick. Still, I'm so happy to have this off little show back finally.

Agents of SHIELD "Ragtag"
You know what this episode has that had been sorely underutilized until recently? Fun. It's a fun episode. Despite the increased stakes leading up to the finale and the enlightening flashbacks showing how Ward got to where he is now, there was a outright caper featuring Fitz and Simmons entertainingly feeding May and Coulson information and Coulson completely geeking out over Triplett's grandfather's old gear. I think the most successful version of this show looks a lot like Chuck and this was about right.
One unsettling point I need to clarify: Did Ward kill the dog? They left it just vague enough in my mind to wonder and this is an important point. I've long held the irredeemable point for a villain is killing a dog. A character doesn't come back from that and if Ward is a dog killer, I don't want him back. Plain and simple.

New Girl "Cruise"
This didn't feel much like a season finale with Schmidt backing out of telling Cece how he feels and Nick and Jess continuing the drawn-out break up process. Not a horrible episode but I'd've really liked a strong episode to end an otherwise weak season.

The Mindy Project "Danny and Mindy"
They went heavy with the RomCom moments. I'm glad they decided to end with Danny and Mindy together. That should give the writers a strong launching point for next season which will hopefully allow for a more clear direction for a series that is somehow two seasons in and this unsettled.

Fargo "Eating the Blame"
Billy Bob Thorton is such a delight. The ease in his deception at the police station was a joy to watch. Things are building to a very uneven showdown between Malvo and Molly and Gus. And, I accept that I'm no expert in shrapnel, but should it really be this hard for Lester to get his out of his hand?

The Middle "Office Hours"
Do I think Mike's explanation for why he treats Sue dating different was a good one? No. Do I find it completely fitting with the character and sentiment of the show? Absolutely.

Suburgatory "Les Lucioles"
With the french singing and dream-like sequences, this was a strange episode, even by Suburgatory standards. With news of it not being picked up for a fourth season, I realize this is one of the final episodes of the show and it's a fitting one. Malik and the Shays are taken care of now. I'm curious to see how the others are serviced.

Modern Family "Message Received"
What's this? Cam and Mitchell not only not bickering, but actively propping each other up and showing genuine care for one another? It shouldn't come as a surprise then that this was a very strong episode. I mean, other than having no idea what to do with Gloria, Jay, and Manny for most of the episode. The use of the answering machine on all levels was about as effective as the show has been all season. It gave us some kids versus adults action which is always fun. Phil being so amazing about hearing the "news" was a great reminder of how good Claire and his relationship can be. The messages with Mitchell are also drenched in irony which I smirked at more than once. I'm hesitant about Mitchell and Jay's argument at the end. It's realistic to have Jay regress a bit from his progressiveness given how much of an "old-timer" he's presented as, but I wonder what end this is a means to. Do we really need this leading up to the wedding?

The Americans "Stealth"
I hope Nina will be alright. I don't know that I'd like to watch a version of this show without her. Oh, and at this point, that church camp better be a Russian sleeper cell or something because I'm tired of Paige going on about it when there's no apparent plot significance to it. Shit's going to go badly with Larrick. That's all I can assume about that.

The Big Bang Theory "The Gorilla Dissolution"
Leonard and Penny are engaged now. I know, I didn't completely realize they weren't already. It's good news albeit a little delayed.

Hannibal "Ko No Mono"
What episode are we on? 11? Wow. How are we going to get to that Hannibal/Jack fight teased at the beginning? All this stuff with Margot and Mason has dominated the past couple episodes. I'm not sure if that's setup for future episodes or going to help get to the fight.

SNL "Charlize Theron/The Black Keys"
-Is this Vanessa Bayer's first time doing Hilary? I'm all for it.
-Girlfriends Talk show returns. Yay! Aidy Bryant may be my favorite cast member now. Ok, top 6.
-While I don't find the Heshi sketches all that funny, I'm absolutely impressed by the sound effects.
-You really can't blame Barbara Walters for having poor comedic timing.

Mad Men "The Runaways"
In an episode that has Don and Megan in a three way, the return of Stephanie, Scout's Honor, and Betty threatening to break her daughter's arm, I will remember this episode as the one in which Ginsberg cut off his nipple and I think that's a fair takeaway from the episode.

DVR Purge: 4/28-5/4

 It's about time for May, and for some shows, it's make or break time for if I'll continue past them this season. Sadly, most shows are looking pretty strong.

Past Purges

Agents of SHIELD "Nothing Personal"
I would seriously love Maria Hill to be a regular on the series even though it would be nice to see Cobie Smulders work on a new project instead. This week was mostly about reacting to the truth about Ward. I think most of the responses were earned, especially Fitz's that resulted in an excellent scene between him and Simmons (again, I really hope they don't settle on them as a couple in the romantic sense). Triplett is getting pretty cozy with the team, enough so that I'm honestly wondering if they would consider dropping Ward after this season. Don't get me wrong, I still fully expect Triplett to die saving someone or simply go away as Ward goes through a villain-reform process where the throughline of season 2 is "he's with the team, but can we trust him?". I'm starting to invite the possibility that they'll surprise me though.

New Girl "Dance"
Normally, kids are not the show's strong suit but this was the exception. Each character gets his or her own quirky story to work through. Schmidt being bested by the insults of a middle-schooler fits him. He's a super confident guy, although much of that is because he's around people who like him regardless. He kind of crumbles when in foreign territory. Nick gets along with the slackers. That fits too. Coach is the authoritarian. That's one of my favorite shades of that character. There's no accounting for Winston being a middle-school heart throb but this is the kind of weird story that Lamorne Morris does best. Jess and Cece got the great disagreement about "good cop/bad cop" and that's all that matters to me there.

The Mindy Project "The Girl Next Door"
Like most Mindy episodes, I was meh on the plot. Give more a little more motivation though, and I could collect several one-liners that would be among the week's funniest across all shows.

Fargo "A Muddy Road"
I was very impressed by Allison Tolman and Colin Hanks' scenes together this week, especially in the way Molly understands why Gus let Lorne go when he pulled him over. Those two characters are the clear protagonists at this point and even if they don't get romantically involved, I greatly look forward to them potentially teaming up from here.
Lorne, on the other hand, is nothing but fun. It's definitely the juiciest role in a show already filled with big characters. He carries himself with the absolute certainty that he won't be caught. And, it's not in a cocky way. He has an understanding of what people will do and won't. He can drag a man by his tie because who in an office is going to actually try and stop him. He threatens Gus because he knows Gus has more to lose than he does. It's such a good role so far.

The Middle "The Optimist"
4 thoughts:
-I don't like Frankie at work because it reminds me how frustratingly self-absorbed and lazy she can be. I like her normally, but an episode like this convinces me that she deservedly shouldn't have a job.
-Sue winning the optimist scholarship is spot on. I remember back when I was applying for college, seeing an optimist society scholarship essay and not even attempting it because I knew they'd see right through me.
-I'm glad they included the montage of ways Axl spent his meal points because I was about to ask how he spent them all and has no weight to show for it.
-Generally, I'm perturbed by stories about miscommunication but it played to both Mike and Brick's strengths, so I liked it, especially because it begins with Mike trying to look out for Brick as opposed to the Heck family default of forgetting Brick.

Suburgatory "Dalie Nicole Smith"
Oh my god! A story with Tessa and Geroge. I wasn't sure those were allowed as an A-story anymore. Too bad it was...weird. George is hung up on Dallas still, I guess, but then he kind of forgets that because he's just horny, which, I mean, I can appreciate as a motivator but it was a strange mix of tones. We got a lot of Dalia this week, to the point of actually getting diminished returns from her. The episode gave me a little Tig Notaro though, so I can't complain.

Modern Family "Sleeper"
In short, I appreciate the wordplay but wish there was a little more. One of my biggest issues with Modern Family is when they try to hard to build around a single scene at the end because it normally requires a series of conversations and decisions that no human would have or make. "Sleeper" trades that for a series of small builds and at some point I just have to accept that they'd rather be clever than believable. Everything with Alex was about looking for ways to have double-meanings about diseases. Phil's guilt existed solely for him to do some physical comedy and give us the chess scene, which is my favorite scene of the episode. Jay's embarrassment about being in the dog show primarily seems designed for his misleading conversation with Mitchell at the end. As with nearly every week, the only characters that come away looking good are Haley, Luke, and Lily who all have some great moments (Lily guilting Cam about being left in the car, for instance).

The Americans "Yousaf"
I'm getting that feeling the Phillip and Elizabeth being a good couple is going to get them killed. That or Larrick. Take your pick. Or Stan working with their dead friends' son. Really, a lot of things can get them killed. Maybe even Paige...not sure how that would work but it's looking more likely. It's been fun to see how Phillip and Elizabeth deal with the different ways their kids are being deceptive. Their entire lives are a lie, so they are having real trouble knowing what to do with the children doing it at a much smaller scale. Regardless, it's looking like shit's about to get real, soon with all these moving parts gravitating closer and closer to one another.

The Big Bang Theory "The Proton Transmogrification"
I'm torn. They were certainly using Bob Newhart too much for the novelty to still be there, but I am sad to see that character go. In other news, Sheldon has a human response. They are having one of these every couple episodes at this point which is certainly preferable over "villain Sheldon". 
This May the 4th stuff strikes me as one of those things the writers found out about and said, "hey, this seems like a nerd thing our characters can do" more so than having any significance. You have to fill 21 minutes somehow, right?

Hannibal "Naka-Choko"
That was the strangest sex scene I've seen, especially on network TV, in a while, yet I couldn't look away. This was another one of those episode where I feel like knowledge of the books would give me a few clues about what's going on. Still, the introduction of Michael Pitt's character is interesting enough as it is. And, I'm very curious to see what Will is up to, because I don't believe he's actually being brainwashed by Hannibal. Freddie's not dead. I don't know the rest, but that part I feel pretty sure of.

SNL "Andrew Garfield/Coldplay"
Andrew Garfield proves to be game for anything but the writers don't seem to have a lot of ideas for him. There's definitely the sense that they'd rather have Emma Stone hosting (and who could blame them). Garfield has a killer Justin Timberlake that I was glad to see. And, I can never be sad to see the return of Jebidiah Atkinson, critic extraordinaire, partly because it's so much fun to watch Killam work his way out of a botched line while staying in character.

Mad Men "The Monolith"
Anyone else thing that speech by Bert was directed as much at the audience as it is to Don? It wouldn't be the Mad Men style anyway, but I spent much of the beginning of the episode wanting Don to go "maverick" and do something great, redeem himself, and get Lou's office. Instead, we get Don working for Peggy on an account. While Peggy is deserving of a position of power like this, it's still massively humbling for Don. It's very interesting seeing how the other partners are treating Don, who still has Roger actively and Pete passively on her side. Cooper is in an oddly elevated position again for someone who a couple seasons ago mainly functioned as the office nuisance. Teddy is more or less indifferent to Don and Joan is staying pretty laissez-faire about it. It's mainly Cutler and [not a partner] Lou who appear to be out to get him. Regardless, it's looking like Don really is back on track now and I wonder how long before he's back or gets fired.
-How good is Joel Murray? He's one of those guys who pops up all over the place but always makes me happy to see him.