I made a mistake the other day. I went to the store, then got drunk that night. I'm not talking about just any trip to the store though. I bought shit: a bunch of shit. I'm talking about an "I got a gift card" kind of trip to the store. This was one of those trips brought on from the special sort of circumstances that can only exist when you are a 20-something, single man, not living at home. I had to go to the store because my shit was broke. I reached that break point where all that shit I got for my dorm years ago would no longer do. The discoloration on the sheets is so that I no longer know what color they started as. My alarm clock is held together by duct tape and will power and doesn't go off so much as it chirps this painful dying sound. The pillow is literally a piece of fabric that used to have stuffing, but despite having no holes in it, is somehow missing all its innards. And don't even get me started on those towels (shouldn't washing take care of the smell).
Yeah, it was one of those massive shopping trips, set off one morning when I put on an episode of Good Times and think about how nice their shit is and remember what the backdrop of that show is. So, I go to the store, get new everything. Being a man, I don't look for sales and compare prices in the way that, say, a woman would. First of all, Bed, Bath, and Beyond is never in consideration. No, I'm going somewhere where I can get all my shit at once, and maybe get an Icee. I pick a Target in this case. And, I look for sales. Thread count has no effect on my decision. Whatever's cheaper, I get. I raid the clearance aisle for the cheapest Dora the Explorer alarm clock I can find. Get the extra-super firm pillow (see plywood) because it's the only one on sale. It doesn't really matter. The important part is that I'm still out of the store before that guy with his girlfriend is out of the discount nic-nac section at the entrance. I make sure to wave at him as I'm getting my Icee.
So that takes care of the shopping. I go home and start setting up all this new shit I have. When all is said and done, my room looks almost livable again. I feel that sense of grown-up pride you get whenever you do something really boring that they talk about in Redbook.
Then, I go on to celebrate my adultness. I think, "You know what would go great with the rest of my half-filled Icee? (yeah, I got the extra-large because it was only a nickel more than the small and I'm still riding that smart shopping high). What would go well with it? A whole lotta vodka. I pour myself that drink. Empty the bottle because the cup has room and there's not enough in the bottle for two nights of what I determine is "light drinking", sit down, and turn on the TV. Hey, Good Times is still on. John Amos just died so they're doing an all day marathon. Dy-no-mite! Wait, that would be a fun drinking game. It's not long before that whole drink is gone. Luckily it's still only 7 so I go to bed that night, only a little buzzed, but I need that good night's sleep anyway. I barely even care how uncomfortable there 50 thread could sheets (see Sandpaper) are. I fall right asleep. Here's where the mistake comes in.
...
...
...
"Despierte, sleepyhead!" "Despierte, sleepyhead!" "Despierte, sleepyhead!"
I wake up in a panic. The room is dark, a little Mexican girl is yelling at me. And I am sleeping under wax paper. Nothing around me looks familiar. I don't know where I am, and would somebody shut that little girl up! Am I in her room? How much did I drink last night! What is happening?!
I look in every direction for any sort of digital, lit, time device. I see the alarm clock. 12:00 AM. It keeps getting louder and louder. I grab hold of the danm thing but I don't know how to work it. I still have no idea where I am or what is happening, but I know that all meaning in life is dependent on turning that god forsaken alarm off. In a fit of rage, I hurl the clock at the wall. It turns off alright, but at the expense of Dora's poor head, which flies off somewhere.
Finally, after a few more panicked seconds, it all starts coming back to me: the sheets, the clearance aisle. Jimmy Walker! I have made myself a stranger in my own room, and drank myself into forgetting about it.
Now I regroup. What time is it? It is really midnight. I never set the alarm. I get up. Swear off drinking for life. Pop open a beer. Change that oath to laying off the hard stuff. Pick up the alarm clock and the head. Grab some duct tape. And pray to God I get married before I ever have to buy myself new stuff again.
Friday, August 31, 2012
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Movie Reaction: Premium Rush
Formula: Breaking Away + The Transporter + Drive + Disney Channel Movie feel + Stranger Than Fiction style + Some other movie I can't think of but it has been bugging me for hours.
Cast: A lot of "hey, it's that guy from that thing" going on in this one. Joesph Gordon-Levitt is the only big name attached to this as well as the only reason I saw it in the first place. Dania Ramirez and Jamie Chung are good eye candy, but not used for that purpose. I'd like to see either of them in a good TV show. That's a good place for them, I think. I couldn't even tell you the name of the rest of the cast. Nothing against them, but this movie has straight-to-DVD written all over it. JGL is the main reason this even got a burn-off release.
Plot: This is a very multi-toned movie in a bad way. One minute it's light-hearted bike riding, then it's Chinese mafia, then an "I'm getting too old for this shit" moment, followed by a beat down. It felt a lot longer than it was. Overall, I'm not sure what the aim was here. I assume the writer/director used to be a bike messenger or something and wanted to make a movie with a lot of cool bike riding scenes but that pesky need for a plot got in the way. They also play with the time a lot, although the editing of it isn't all that great.
The Big City: New York is one of the biggest cities in the world and this movie made it seem like Topeka. JGL runs into the same bike cop a handful of times is vastly different locations. I supposed NYC only has one police station too because everyone happens to be at the same one. The girl who gives him the letter to deliver ends up getting to the delivery spot at nearly the same time as JGL. I get that they need to tell a story, but it's all a little too convenient.
Elephant in the Room: Bike Messengers are dicks. A minute in, I pretty much hated all the main characters. I guess it's accurate that they kind of get in the way in NYC, but the number of wrecks JGL nearly causes just to not inconvenience himself is kind of obnoxious and the bike rider community and the "no breaks, no gears" stuff is really hokey. I kind of wouldn't mind if a taxi picked off a couple of them.
To Sum Things Up:
I gave it a shot, but this is the least satisfying movie I've seen in a while, theater or otherwise. It's not my kind of movie, and judging by Friday grosses, I'm not alone. I was hoping for a hidden gem and didn't get it. Here's to waiting for Looper.
Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend
Cast: A lot of "hey, it's that guy from that thing" going on in this one. Joesph Gordon-Levitt is the only big name attached to this as well as the only reason I saw it in the first place. Dania Ramirez and Jamie Chung are good eye candy, but not used for that purpose. I'd like to see either of them in a good TV show. That's a good place for them, I think. I couldn't even tell you the name of the rest of the cast. Nothing against them, but this movie has straight-to-DVD written all over it. JGL is the main reason this even got a burn-off release.
Plot: This is a very multi-toned movie in a bad way. One minute it's light-hearted bike riding, then it's Chinese mafia, then an "I'm getting too old for this shit" moment, followed by a beat down. It felt a lot longer than it was. Overall, I'm not sure what the aim was here. I assume the writer/director used to be a bike messenger or something and wanted to make a movie with a lot of cool bike riding scenes but that pesky need for a plot got in the way. They also play with the time a lot, although the editing of it isn't all that great.
The Big City: New York is one of the biggest cities in the world and this movie made it seem like Topeka. JGL runs into the same bike cop a handful of times is vastly different locations. I supposed NYC only has one police station too because everyone happens to be at the same one. The girl who gives him the letter to deliver ends up getting to the delivery spot at nearly the same time as JGL. I get that they need to tell a story, but it's all a little too convenient.
Elephant in the Room: Bike Messengers are dicks. A minute in, I pretty much hated all the main characters. I guess it's accurate that they kind of get in the way in NYC, but the number of wrecks JGL nearly causes just to not inconvenience himself is kind of obnoxious and the bike rider community and the "no breaks, no gears" stuff is really hokey. I kind of wouldn't mind if a taxi picked off a couple of them.
To Sum Things Up:
I gave it a shot, but this is the least satisfying movie I've seen in a while, theater or otherwise. It's not my kind of movie, and judging by Friday grosses, I'm not alone. I was hoping for a hidden gem and didn't get it. Here's to waiting for Looper.
Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend
Friday, August 24, 2012
Rant: Drinking from a Friend’s Cup
My life is filled with anxiety (ex. I was worried if I spelled that correctly so I had to look it up before continuing even though I was certain it was correct) (By the way, nailed it). One situation where this comes into play full-force (as well as touching on my selective germaphobia, universal guilt and embarrassment, and simultaneous fear of being ignored and noticed by others) is a story as old as time.
I find myself sharing a meal with friends. It is a casual affair, the type where seats aren’t marked beforehand. I’m imagining a location in a booth, but a bar or middle table at TGIFridays would do as well. It’s a large group. Jimmy just got a promotion or Sally is celebrating her birthday. We are celebrating a friend people actually choose to see. Not Fred, who I don’t have any issue with. In fact, he can actually be fun, but I don’t know if he fits into the dynamics of the group. No one likes him enough to throw something for him, so he has to set it up for himself and that level of desperation is a big deterrent for my being in attendance (Yes, I’m Fred most of the time).
So, everyone is gathered to celebrate Brad’s corporate takeover of Old Pete’s Good Tyme Vacums and Printers, laughing and having a good time. I am in between conversations, having lost interest in the story about Margaret’s cat chasing the mailman to your left and looking for an in to the discussion to the right about Olympic events that would be ruined if the show Heroes was real. I grab a drink since the refill-lady just came by, while I formulate an opinion on the possibility that Michael Phelps is some sort of mutant already, but – what the hell?
I didn’t get Dr. Pepper.
I take a quick examination of my surroundings, and that’s when the anxiety kicks in: I grabbed the wrong cup.
Now, normal, well-adjusted people would think/say “oops” and grab their own cup and jump in to postulate that no character would be able to rig Curling. If you are thinking that, then you obviously don’t know me.
At this moment, my survival instincts kick in, and by that I mean my instincts. There is no room for survival in my Doug Funnie-esque brain, only panic. So, I survey my surroundings. There are two things I am looking for: a pair of knowing eyes that saw what I did, zeroed in on me and the phantom grab by the guy sitting next to me for his 23 flavor drink.
Let's run through the circumstances:
-Knowing eyes, no phantom grab: I find the most decorated location in the restaurant. The more decorated, the better, because the best option I have is to distract the knowing eyes. “Hey, what does that sign say?” or “Does that fake shark have a fedora?” (Available for any TGIFridays or any other chachki-based establishment) usually works for me. Once their attention is diverted, rid yourself of that cup ASAP.
-Phantom grab, no knowing eyes: I keep hold of the cup till the person realizes I have it and start examining the cup like it's a foreign substance. Maybe even sniff it like that would determine anything. "What are you drinking?" I ask. Hopefully I'm not drinking the same thing. I could lose face then (because sniffing the drink isn't weird at all).
-Knowing eyes, phantom grab: That's when I own up to it. Call attention to it and say "Anyone else's drink taste weird? I don't think mine has enough syrup." Take another sip out of the friend's drink, but don't user the straw this time. "Yeah, I only taste 16 flavors of this. Something is definitely wrong with the machine."
-No knowing eyes, no phantom grab: (aka "the dream scenario") I put the drink down as I should've done to begin with. No one cares either way.
I wish I could say this is not actually the way I think, but it is. Even at the time I know it's crazy. No one at the celebration of Nancy's canoeing to the Maldives will remember it by the end of the night even if everyone sees me drink from the other person's cup, but it's not about other people for the same reason I get stage fright when I am practicing a speech alone. That's why I am still embarrassed I drank from the wrong cup at Wicks months back, even though no one noticed...
I find myself sharing a meal with friends. It is a casual affair, the type where seats aren’t marked beforehand. I’m imagining a location in a booth, but a bar or middle table at TGIFridays would do as well. It’s a large group. Jimmy just got a promotion or Sally is celebrating her birthday. We are celebrating a friend people actually choose to see. Not Fred, who I don’t have any issue with. In fact, he can actually be fun, but I don’t know if he fits into the dynamics of the group. No one likes him enough to throw something for him, so he has to set it up for himself and that level of desperation is a big deterrent for my being in attendance (Yes, I’m Fred most of the time).
So, everyone is gathered to celebrate Brad’s corporate takeover of Old Pete’s Good Tyme Vacums and Printers, laughing and having a good time. I am in between conversations, having lost interest in the story about Margaret’s cat chasing the mailman to your left and looking for an in to the discussion to the right about Olympic events that would be ruined if the show Heroes was real. I grab a drink since the refill-lady just came by, while I formulate an opinion on the possibility that Michael Phelps is some sort of mutant already, but – what the hell?
I didn’t get Dr. Pepper.
I take a quick examination of my surroundings, and that’s when the anxiety kicks in: I grabbed the wrong cup.
Now, normal, well-adjusted people would think/say “oops” and grab their own cup and jump in to postulate that no character would be able to rig Curling. If you are thinking that, then you obviously don’t know me.
At this moment, my survival instincts kick in, and by that I mean my instincts. There is no room for survival in my Doug Funnie-esque brain, only panic. So, I survey my surroundings. There are two things I am looking for: a pair of knowing eyes that saw what I did, zeroed in on me and the phantom grab by the guy sitting next to me for his 23 flavor drink.
Let's run through the circumstances:
-Knowing eyes, no phantom grab: I find the most decorated location in the restaurant. The more decorated, the better, because the best option I have is to distract the knowing eyes. “Hey, what does that sign say?” or “Does that fake shark have a fedora?” (Available for any TGIFridays or any other chachki-based establishment) usually works for me. Once their attention is diverted, rid yourself of that cup ASAP.
-Phantom grab, no knowing eyes: I keep hold of the cup till the person realizes I have it and start examining the cup like it's a foreign substance. Maybe even sniff it like that would determine anything. "What are you drinking?" I ask. Hopefully I'm not drinking the same thing. I could lose face then (because sniffing the drink isn't weird at all).
-Knowing eyes, phantom grab: That's when I own up to it. Call attention to it and say "Anyone else's drink taste weird? I don't think mine has enough syrup." Take another sip out of the friend's drink, but don't user the straw this time. "Yeah, I only taste 16 flavors of this. Something is definitely wrong with the machine."
-No knowing eyes, no phantom grab: (aka "the dream scenario") I put the drink down as I should've done to begin with. No one cares either way.
I wish I could say this is not actually the way I think, but it is. Even at the time I know it's crazy. No one at the celebration of Nancy's canoeing to the Maldives will remember it by the end of the night even if everyone sees me drink from the other person's cup, but it's not about other people for the same reason I get stage fright when I am practicing a speech alone. That's why I am still embarrassed I drank from the wrong cup at Wicks months back, even though no one noticed...
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Movie Reaction: The Bourne Legacy
Formula: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead + The Bourne Trilogy
Cast: I like the people in it. Jeremy Renner always strikes me as the first choice to replace another guy (See Mission Impossible and, well, this movie). Rachel Weisz I like even though I can't point to a movie that I love that she's been in and this movie doesn't fill that need. Edward Norton is massively underused in this. He needs to show up in a lot more movies. Overall, this was not a movie that was a draw for me for any specific actor in it. Matt Damon is sorely missed here.
Plot: Overall, the plot's pretty simple but the details are a-plenty. All it is is a search for more pills. That's it. The trick is, the first 3 movies never made mention of these pills* so they spent a lot of time driving in what that's about. For all the talk of the Bourne movies being this generation's James Bond, this is the first one that felt generic to wear that crown. In fact, for a 2+ hour movie, I didn't feel that close to any of the characters by the end. There was a distance to them that I don't remember being in the originals.
*I don't remember if they did, at least. I'm not an expert on this.
Elephant in the Room: Is it really Bourne without Bourne? No. It's not. I've been racking my brain coming up with a similar example of what this movie is like, but can't. I don't mind the "there's more than just Bourne" angle. Not being able to get Matt Damon in even a cameo hurt it in that they were constantly working around him. Also, the whole explanation of Treadstone and all that completely changes things in a way I didn't like. It's like changing the Spider-man story from being the result of a freak accident to him being some sort of chosen one (which is why I didn't care for The Amazing Spider Man). It's a different kind of adaptation to the story, but the DNA of the reworking is the same.
To Sum Things Up:
I liked it. I'm not the biggest fan of the series and this is the most generic of them all. I never asked why I was watching this. I find myself asking why this exists at all. Part of me would prefer they just treat it like James Bond and recast Matt Damon outright instead of shoehorning in this sister narrative.
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
Cast: I like the people in it. Jeremy Renner always strikes me as the first choice to replace another guy (See Mission Impossible and, well, this movie). Rachel Weisz I like even though I can't point to a movie that I love that she's been in and this movie doesn't fill that need. Edward Norton is massively underused in this. He needs to show up in a lot more movies. Overall, this was not a movie that was a draw for me for any specific actor in it. Matt Damon is sorely missed here.
Plot: Overall, the plot's pretty simple but the details are a-plenty. All it is is a search for more pills. That's it. The trick is, the first 3 movies never made mention of these pills* so they spent a lot of time driving in what that's about. For all the talk of the Bourne movies being this generation's James Bond, this is the first one that felt generic to wear that crown. In fact, for a 2+ hour movie, I didn't feel that close to any of the characters by the end. There was a distance to them that I don't remember being in the originals.
*I don't remember if they did, at least. I'm not an expert on this.
Elephant in the Room: Is it really Bourne without Bourne? No. It's not. I've been racking my brain coming up with a similar example of what this movie is like, but can't. I don't mind the "there's more than just Bourne" angle. Not being able to get Matt Damon in even a cameo hurt it in that they were constantly working around him. Also, the whole explanation of Treadstone and all that completely changes things in a way I didn't like. It's like changing the Spider-man story from being the result of a freak accident to him being some sort of chosen one (which is why I didn't care for The Amazing Spider Man). It's a different kind of adaptation to the story, but the DNA of the reworking is the same.
To Sum Things Up:
I liked it. I'm not the biggest fan of the series and this is the most generic of them all. I never asked why I was watching this. I find myself asking why this exists at all. Part of me would prefer they just treat it like James Bond and recast Matt Damon outright instead of shoehorning in this sister narrative.
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Movie Reaction: The Expendables 2
Editor's* Note: I decided to play the Expendables drinking game. That means, I bought a Medium coke, poured a flask of bourbon into it, and took a sip every time something ridiculous happened. Bad idea! 10 minutes in, things got a little hazy.
* HA! Editor. That's rich.
Formula: Grown Ups + Guns...a lot of guns.
Cast: My god, in 1988, I would be having a total MANgasm watching this. Now though...well, they knew exactly what they were doing casting this. I won't bother going over who is in it because no one expects that. You know that guy in that movie where a bunch of stuff explodes? He's in it. And, he kills a bunch of people.
Plot: Was there one? I'd be hard pressed to find one. If ever there was a franchise that I would say could benefit from being directed by Michael Bay (and I mean that as a compliment), this would probably be it. I literally just saw it, but I couldn't tell you what it was about. Then again, I can describe every action sequence, so, no surprise here, it's that kind of movie.
Elephant in the Room: Isn't this movie pretty ridiculous and stupid? You betcha! This movie has absolutely no value to the history of cinema or society as a whole or even a subset of society as a microcosm of our culture. It is completely without merit in nearly every category. Still, it knows it and it embraces it like few movies you will ever see. It is ridiculous, stupid fun. I really do respect a movie that is this "in your face" about what it is and doesn't pull any punches.
To Sum Things Up:
Don't see this. That's what you want to hear and it's the truth. Then again, if you are looking for a stupid as hell, ridiculous good time, you have your movie. I really didn't like this movie very much, but the tone of this Reaction is pretty favorable. The reason is, when you have something this self-aware of how bad it is, how can you throw any honest criticism toward it?
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
* HA! Editor. That's rich.
Formula: Grown Ups + Guns...a lot of guns.
Cast: My god, in 1988, I would be having a total MANgasm watching this. Now though...well, they knew exactly what they were doing casting this. I won't bother going over who is in it because no one expects that. You know that guy in that movie where a bunch of stuff explodes? He's in it. And, he kills a bunch of people.
Plot: Was there one? I'd be hard pressed to find one. If ever there was a franchise that I would say could benefit from being directed by Michael Bay (and I mean that as a compliment), this would probably be it. I literally just saw it, but I couldn't tell you what it was about. Then again, I can describe every action sequence, so, no surprise here, it's that kind of movie.
Elephant in the Room: Isn't this movie pretty ridiculous and stupid? You betcha! This movie has absolutely no value to the history of cinema or society as a whole or even a subset of society as a microcosm of our culture. It is completely without merit in nearly every category. Still, it knows it and it embraces it like few movies you will ever see. It is ridiculous, stupid fun. I really do respect a movie that is this "in your face" about what it is and doesn't pull any punches.
To Sum Things Up:
Don't see this. That's what you want to hear and it's the truth. Then again, if you are looking for a stupid as hell, ridiculous good time, you have your movie. I really didn't like this movie very much, but the tone of this Reaction is pretty favorable. The reason is, when you have something this self-aware of how bad it is, how can you throw any honest criticism toward it?
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
Friday, August 17, 2012
Rant: Passing Cops
I'm Catholic*, so I naturally feel guilty about everything always. One of my least favorite things, as a result, is passing a cop on the street. I'm guilty of something and he knows it, right? Generally this is a brief encounter, like the Doppler effect, it builds exponentially, very quickly and very strong, then fades to nothing immediately. My delicate psyche can handle this in doses. Humans adapt.
*by birth.
Then comes the day when I'm walking to class just as the Police Academy (yeah, those are real) lets out. Seeing it coming, a wave of cops let out of the building now heading my way, I prepare for a massive doppler, only I fail to realize that I am on a narrow sidewalk. Bottle-necking happens and now I have to pass by 50 cops, single file.
First cop passes.
Look innocent, Alex.
But, I am innocent. Good job.
More cops. Keep looking innocent, like you aren't guilty of anything.
But I am guilty of nothing. I'm walking to class. It's 9 in the morning.
More. Good. Look like you aren't carrying anything illegal. That should be easy.
I'm not. Exactly. One looks at me.
Shit. I look too innocent, like I'm trying to look innocent. Like I'm hiding something.
Oh god. Another one looked at me. Walk faster.
Why are you doing that?
It only calls more attention to yourself.
What! They were already noticing me.
Even more pass.
Oh god! All of them see me. They know I'm up to no good.
Shit, cross the street now.
But there's cars. That's jaywalking.
Lesser of two evils. I'd rather go down for jaywalking than something else.
What else? You've done nothing wrong.
So naive. They could stop me for suspicious behavior. Then they will learn all my secrets.
Well, walking in the middle of traffic is pretty suspicious. Hold out a little longer.
Poker games, internet downloads, that night I chugged a beer before driving hone. It's all come crashing down. They know. They know it all. Every minor and major infraction and misdeed I've ever done in my life. I'm going do, for the long haul.
I hope they don't use guns. Maybe they'll just tase me, or force me to the ground. Should I resist? That will only make it harder.
But I'm innocent dammit. Innocent!!!
Huh, what's that? They've all passed. No one stopped me? Good. I got away this time.
Boy does it feel great to be innocent.
...
...
...
Hey. Who's that ahead. It's a professor.
Oh no. He knows I cheated.
But I didn't cheat.
Good. Keep repeating that...
Monday, August 13, 2012
Emmy Snubs by the Emmys: 5-1
If you need a refresher of what I'm doing, read this.
#16-20
#11-15
#6-10
#5
Pushing Daisies - Season 1
Year: 2008
Nominations: Lead Actor (Lee Pace), Supporting Actress (Kristin Chenoweth), Writing
Wins: Directing
Snubbed by: HBO Comedies
I get it's all moot since 30 Rock dominated the night, but Pushing Daisies had so many noms, it really deserved a spot over the HBO trinity of Entourage, Flight of the Conchords, or Curb which got successively fewer noms.
#4
The Shield - Season 1
Year: 2002
Nominations: Directing, Writing
Wins: Lead Actor (Michael Chiklis)
&
Alias - Season 1
Year: 2002
Nominations: Lead Actress (Jennifer Garner), Supporting Actor (Victor Garber), Writing, Costumes, Hairstyling, Makeup, Picture Editing, Stunts
Wins: Art-Direction, Cinematography
Snubbed by: Law & Order, CSI
It's really the combination of snubs here that puts it so high on this list. Two procedural like Law & Order and CSI with no major nominations getting the Outstanding Drama nominations while Alias' 10 nominations and The Shield's big three nominations (acting, writing, directing) getting snubbed is a sign of major snubbage. I can't say I understand how this happens.
#3
Six Feet Under - Season 5
Year: 2006
Nominations: Lead Actor (Peter Krause), Lead Actress (Frances Conroy), Directing, Writing, Guest Actress (Joanna Cassidy), Art Direction for Single-Camera Series, Hairstyling
Wins: Guest Actress (Patricia Clarkson), Makeup
Snubbed by: Everyone
Six Feet Under's final season appears to be a last hurrah with the Emmys based on nomination count. To have this many nominations in such a variety of categories and not get an Outstanding Drama (we won't even mention how it should've then won) is really a black mark on the Emmys. If I'm gonna pick on a specific show, House, as much as I love it, had no business being here over SFU based on nomination account.
#2
Roseanne
Year: 1993-1995
Season 5
Nominations: Lead Actor (John Goodman), Supporting Actress (Sara Gilbert), Lighting Direction
Wins: Lead Actress (Roseanne Barr), Supporting Actress (Laurie Metcalf)
Season 6
Nominations:Lead Actor (John Goodman), Lead Actress (Roseanne Barr), Supporting Actress (Sara Gilbert), Lighting Direction
Wins: Supporting Actress (Laurie Metcalf)
Season 7
Nominations:Lead Actor (John Goodman), Lead Actress (Roseanne Barr), Supporting Actress (Laurie Metcalf), Hairstyling
Wins: None
This snub goes back before 1993, but that's where my list starts. This show was a powerhouse in the acting nominations for years, pulling numerous wins and occasional other nominations as well. There is absolutely no reason for this show to not have a single Outstanding Comedy series nomination to it's name. Specifically, in '93 and '94, Home Improvement, with only one lead acting nomination each year, probably shouldn't've edged Roseanne out for a Comedy nom.
#1
Malcolm in the Middle
2000-2003
Season 1
Nominations: Lead Actress (Jane Kaczmarek), Guest Actress (Beatrice Arthur), Casting
Wins: Writing, Directing
Season 2
Nominations: Comedy Series*, Directing, Lead Actor (Frankie Muniz), Lead Actress (Jane Kaczmarek), Guest Actor (Robert Loggia), Guest Actress (Cloris Leachman)
Wins: Directing, Writing
Season 3
Nominations:Lead Actress (Jane Kaczmarek), Supporting Actor (Bryan Cranston), Directing, Guest Actress (Susan Sarandon)
Wins: Guest Actress (Cloris Leachman)
Season 4
Nominations: Lead Actress (Jane Kaczmarek), Supporting Actor (Bryan Cranston), Guest Actress (Cloris Leachman)
Wins: None
*Yes, yes. It did pull off one Outstanding Comedy nomination. Look at that though. Does that look like the credentials of a single-time nominee?
You know, I said this would be as objective a list as possible. A strong argument could be made for Roseanne to be in the top spot, especially considering Malcolm was nominated one year. I'm keeping it at the top though due to diversity of the nominations and number of big wins. For a show with this much Emmy love to not be a perennial nominees for Outstanding Comedy is, by the numbers, mind you, the biggest Emmy oversight of the past two decades. And, I'll just go ahead and say, yes, Malcolm in the Middle is one of my all-time favorite shows, so there may have been some home cooking going on.
#16-20
#11-15
#6-10
#5
Pushing Daisies - Season 1
Nominations: Lead Actor (Lee Pace), Supporting Actress (Kristin Chenoweth), Writing
Wins: Directing
Snubbed by: HBO Comedies
I get it's all moot since 30 Rock dominated the night, but Pushing Daisies had so many noms, it really deserved a spot over the HBO trinity of Entourage, Flight of the Conchords, or Curb which got successively fewer noms.
#4
Year: 2002
Nominations: Directing, Writing
Wins: Lead Actor (Michael Chiklis)
&
Alias - Season 1
Year: 2002
Nominations: Lead Actress (Jennifer Garner), Supporting Actor (Victor Garber), Writing, Costumes, Hairstyling, Makeup, Picture Editing, Stunts
Wins: Art-Direction, Cinematography
Snubbed by: Law & Order, CSI
It's really the combination of snubs here that puts it so high on this list. Two procedural like Law & Order and CSI with no major nominations getting the Outstanding Drama nominations while Alias' 10 nominations and The Shield's big three nominations (acting, writing, directing) getting snubbed is a sign of major snubbage. I can't say I understand how this happens.
#3
Six Feet Under - Season 5
Nominations: Lead Actor (Peter Krause), Lead Actress (Frances Conroy), Directing, Writing, Guest Actress (Joanna Cassidy), Art Direction for Single-Camera Series, Hairstyling
Wins: Guest Actress (Patricia Clarkson), Makeup
Snubbed by: Everyone
Six Feet Under's final season appears to be a last hurrah with the Emmys based on nomination count. To have this many nominations in such a variety of categories and not get an Outstanding Drama (we won't even mention how it should've then won) is really a black mark on the Emmys. If I'm gonna pick on a specific show, House, as much as I love it, had no business being here over SFU based on nomination account.
#2
Roseanne
Year: 1993-1995
Season 5
Nominations: Lead Actor (John Goodman), Supporting Actress (Sara Gilbert), Lighting Direction
Wins: Lead Actress (Roseanne Barr), Supporting Actress (Laurie Metcalf)
Season 6
Nominations:Lead Actor (John Goodman), Lead Actress (Roseanne Barr), Supporting Actress (Sara Gilbert), Lighting Direction
Wins: Supporting Actress (Laurie Metcalf)
Season 7
Nominations:Lead Actor (John Goodman), Lead Actress (Roseanne Barr), Supporting Actress (Laurie Metcalf), Hairstyling
Wins: None
This snub goes back before 1993, but that's where my list starts. This show was a powerhouse in the acting nominations for years, pulling numerous wins and occasional other nominations as well. There is absolutely no reason for this show to not have a single Outstanding Comedy series nomination to it's name. Specifically, in '93 and '94, Home Improvement, with only one lead acting nomination each year, probably shouldn't've edged Roseanne out for a Comedy nom.
#1
Malcolm in the Middle
2000-2003
Nominations: Lead Actress (Jane Kaczmarek), Guest Actress (Beatrice Arthur), Casting
Wins: Writing, Directing
Season 2
Nominations: Comedy Series*, Directing, Lead Actor (Frankie Muniz), Lead Actress (Jane Kaczmarek), Guest Actor (Robert Loggia), Guest Actress (Cloris Leachman)
Wins: Directing, Writing
Season 3
Nominations:Lead Actress (Jane Kaczmarek), Supporting Actor (Bryan Cranston), Directing, Guest Actress (Susan Sarandon)
Wins: Guest Actress (Cloris Leachman)
Season 4
Nominations: Lead Actress (Jane Kaczmarek), Supporting Actor (Bryan Cranston), Guest Actress (Cloris Leachman)
Wins: None
*Yes, yes. It did pull off one Outstanding Comedy nomination. Look at that though. Does that look like the credentials of a single-time nominee?
You know, I said this would be as objective a list as possible. A strong argument could be made for Roseanne to be in the top spot, especially considering Malcolm was nominated one year. I'm keeping it at the top though due to diversity of the nominations and number of big wins. For a show with this much Emmy love to not be a perennial nominees for Outstanding Comedy is, by the numbers, mind you, the biggest Emmy oversight of the past two decades. And, I'll just go ahead and say, yes, Malcolm in the Middle is one of my all-time favorite shows, so there may have been some home cooking going on.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Movie Reaction: Hope Springs
Formula: Any Romantic Comedy relationship + 31 years
Something's Gotta Give - the young people.
It's Complicated / (1 male suitor)
I don't know, what the mathematical way to say "It's the antithesis of How High"?)
Cast: If you put Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones in front of a camera, you are getting quality. Plain and simple. Add in Steve Carrell playing it completely straight and I like what I'm getting. Beyond those three, there isn't much more to the cast. It's surprisingly small in scope in that way.
Plot: It's a plot about 60-somethings with sex problems. But, it's funny, so, yeah. No surprises in this one. The beginning, middle, and end are all exactly what you expect. This is not said in a diminishing way. It's just, you know if this is your kind of movie already. It won't turn you. It's a sweet movie though.
Elephant in the Room: It's a plot about 60-somethings with sex problems. How can I say this nicely?...Eww. Sure, that might be mean, but it's true. I was a little out of my element there. Still probably better than Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (or whatever it's called).
To Sum Things Up:
Your parents will like it. You will sort of enjoy it. Your kids will be sad you didn't see Ice Age instead. I only saw it because I like to make an unexpected pick every once in a while and I was also curious to confirm the audience of this movie (btw, I was the youngest person by about 20 years in a fairly full theater). I don't regret seeing it, but I do sort of regret seeing it when there were a lot of other things I wanted to see more.
Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend
Something's Gotta Give - the young people.
It's Complicated / (1 male suitor)
I don't know, what the mathematical way to say "It's the antithesis of How High"?)
Cast: If you put Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones in front of a camera, you are getting quality. Plain and simple. Add in Steve Carrell playing it completely straight and I like what I'm getting. Beyond those three, there isn't much more to the cast. It's surprisingly small in scope in that way.
Plot: It's a plot about 60-somethings with sex problems. But, it's funny, so, yeah. No surprises in this one. The beginning, middle, and end are all exactly what you expect. This is not said in a diminishing way. It's just, you know if this is your kind of movie already. It won't turn you. It's a sweet movie though.
Elephant in the Room: It's a plot about 60-somethings with sex problems. How can I say this nicely?...Eww. Sure, that might be mean, but it's true. I was a little out of my element there. Still probably better than Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (or whatever it's called).
To Sum Things Up:
Your parents will like it. You will sort of enjoy it. Your kids will be sad you didn't see Ice Age instead. I only saw it because I like to make an unexpected pick every once in a while and I was also curious to confirm the audience of this movie (btw, I was the youngest person by about 20 years in a fairly full theater). I don't regret seeing it, but I do sort of regret seeing it when there were a lot of other things I wanted to see more.
Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Emmy Snubs by the Emmys: 10-6
If you need a refresher of what I'm doing, read this.
#16-20
#11-15
#10
Homicide: Life on the Street - Season 1
Year: 1993
Nominations: Guest Actress (Gwen Verdon)
Wins: Writing, Directing
Snubbed by: Homefront
Homicide: Life on the Street not only got nominations for Writing and Directing, it won those categories. To win both of those and not even make the cut for the overall nomination really makes me question the Emmy voting process.
#9
Parks & Recreation - Season 4
Year: 2012
Nominations: Lead Actress (Amy Poehler), Writing (two)
Wins: TBD
&
Louie - Season 2
Year: 2012
Nominations: Lead Actor (Louis C.K.), Directing, Writing
Wins: TBD
Snubbed by: Veep (and arguably Curb Your Enthusiasm)
I'm grouping these two together because neither make sense and could be hurt or helped on award night. Parks and Rec. got the nomination for Outstanding Comedy series in season 3, gains two nominations, still has more than half the nominees, yet gets bumped from the field. That's confusing.
Let me tell you a story about a show with a star, director, writer, showrunner, producer that is set in New York city. That description applies to both Girls and Louie, but Louie got snubbed. The major difference: Girls is on HBO...kind of like Veep and Curb which both make a weaker case for the overall nom. based on other nominations.
The case for either show could be helped or hurt by the results on Emmy night.
#8
Huff - Season 1
Year: 2005
Nominations: Lead Actor (Hank Azaria), Supporting Actor (Oliver Platt), Guest Actress (Swoosie Kurtz), Director
Wins: Supporting Actress (Blythe Danner)
&
Boston Legal - Season 1
Year: 2005
Nominations: None
Wins: Lead Actor (James Spader), Supporting Actor (William Shatner)
Snubbed by: Six Feet Under, 24...any show other than Lost
Huff got more nominations in major categories than any show other than Lost, so it doesn't make sense that it wouldn't get an Outstanding Drama nomination. Boston Legal didn't get many more nominations than any other nominee (although it was a pretty wide-open year), but pulling wins in all the fields in had nominations is a sign it probably should've been in the running.
#7
My Name is Earl - Season 1
Year: 2006
Nominations: Supporting Actress (Jaime Pressly)
Wins: Directing, Writing, Casting, Single-Camera Picture Editing
Snubbed by: Scrubs specifically, but it was a weak overall field that year
You know, looking at this year, there was a major distribution of nominations. There were at least 10 comedies with legit claims to a nomination for Outstanding Comedy series. I'll say that My Name is Earl, with it's win in Directing and Writing wins, should've been one of the nominees for comedy. It obviously could've won.
#6
Deadwood - Season 1
Year: 2004
Nominations: Supporting Actor (Brad Dourif), Supporting Actress (Robin Weigert), Writing, Art Direction, Casting, Costumes, Hairstyling, Makeup
Wins: Directing, Sound-Editing
Snubbed by: CSI
CSI gets no major nominations. Deadwood gets supporting, directing, casting, and writing noms, including a win. That's doesn't make sense, right?
#16-20
#11-15
#10
Homicide: Life on the Street - Season 1
Nominations: Guest Actress (Gwen Verdon)
Wins: Writing, Directing
Snubbed by: Homefront
Homicide: Life on the Street not only got nominations for Writing and Directing, it won those categories. To win both of those and not even make the cut for the overall nomination really makes me question the Emmy voting process.
#9
Year: 2012
Nominations: Lead Actress (Amy Poehler), Writing (two)
Wins: TBD
&
Louie - Season 2
Year: 2012
Nominations: Lead Actor (Louis C.K.), Directing, Writing
Wins: TBD
Snubbed by: Veep (and arguably Curb Your Enthusiasm)
I'm grouping these two together because neither make sense and could be hurt or helped on award night. Parks and Rec. got the nomination for Outstanding Comedy series in season 3, gains two nominations, still has more than half the nominees, yet gets bumped from the field. That's confusing.
Let me tell you a story about a show with a star, director, writer, showrunner, producer that is set in New York city. That description applies to both Girls and Louie, but Louie got snubbed. The major difference: Girls is on HBO...kind of like Veep and Curb which both make a weaker case for the overall nom. based on other nominations.
The case for either show could be helped or hurt by the results on Emmy night.
#8
Year: 2005
Nominations: Lead Actor (Hank Azaria), Supporting Actor (Oliver Platt), Guest Actress (Swoosie Kurtz), Director
Wins: Supporting Actress (Blythe Danner)
&
Boston Legal - Season 1
Year: 2005
Nominations: None
Wins: Lead Actor (James Spader), Supporting Actor (William Shatner)
Snubbed by: Six Feet Under, 24...any show other than Lost
Huff got more nominations in major categories than any show other than Lost, so it doesn't make sense that it wouldn't get an Outstanding Drama nomination. Boston Legal didn't get many more nominations than any other nominee (although it was a pretty wide-open year), but pulling wins in all the fields in had nominations is a sign it probably should've been in the running.
#7
My Name is Earl - Season 1
Nominations: Supporting Actress (Jaime Pressly)
Wins: Directing, Writing, Casting, Single-Camera Picture Editing
Snubbed by: Scrubs specifically, but it was a weak overall field that year
You know, looking at this year, there was a major distribution of nominations. There were at least 10 comedies with legit claims to a nomination for Outstanding Comedy series. I'll say that My Name is Earl, with it's win in Directing and Writing wins, should've been one of the nominees for comedy. It obviously could've won.
#6
Deadwood - Season 1
Year: 2004
Nominations: Supporting Actor (Brad Dourif), Supporting Actress (Robin Weigert), Writing, Art Direction, Casting, Costumes, Hairstyling, Makeup
Wins: Directing, Sound-Editing
Snubbed by: CSI
CSI gets no major nominations. Deadwood gets supporting, directing, casting, and writing noms, including a win. That's doesn't make sense, right?
Friday, August 10, 2012
Emmy Snubs by the Emmys: 15-11
If you need a refresher of what I'm doing, read this.
#16-20
#15
Friday Night Lights - Season 4
Year: 2010
Nominations: Lead Actor (Kyle Chandler), Lead Actress (Connie Britton), Writing, Casting
Wins: None
Snubbed by: True Blood
At the time, everyone was just happy to see this beloved show getting any Emmy attention. In hindsight, it makes no sense that it didn't get more love. Writing is probably the best indicator of an Outstanding Drama winner and any show pulling in two lead acting nominations is doing something right. Considering True Blood didn't pull any major nominations, it's really obtuse of the Emmys not to show FNL more love.
#14
Homicide: Life on the Street - Season 6
Year: 1998
Nominations: Guest Actor (Charles Durning, Alfre Woodard, James Yoshimura), Writing
Wins: Lead Actor (Andre Braugher), Casting
Snubbed by: Law & Order
Look, the Emmys didn't love Homicide every year. In '98 they sure felt some love. Saying that it deserved an Outstanding Drama nomination of the last year's winner, Law & Order is too easy. It could even be said it was more deserving of a nomination over eventual winner, The Practice due to sheer nomination count.
#13
Entourage - Season 2
Year: 2006
Nominations: Directing (two), Writing, Casting
Wins: Supporting Actor (Jeremy Piven)
Snubbed by: Scrubs
It's weird to list Entourage as a snub considering all the years of undeserved nominations. In it's second season, it was still shiny and new and undiscovered by Emmy voters. As happy as it made me to see Scrubs nominated for Outstanding Comedy series, with its lone Lead Actor nomination, it seemed to deserve it less than Entourage that year.
#12
Murder One - Season 1
Year: 1996
Nominations: Supporting Actor (Stanley Tucci), Supporting Actress (Barbara Bosson), Directing, Writing, Cinematography
Wins: Art Direction
Snubbed by: Law & Order
Truth be told, I've never heard of this show before. It's first season earned a bevy of nominations though in nearly every major category. Once again, on paper, this looks a lot more deserving of a nomination over Law & Order's zero major noms.
#11
Lost - Season 3
Year: 2007
Nominations: Supporting Actor (Michael Emerson), Directing, Writing, Sound Editing, Single Camera Picture Editing
Wins: Supporting Actor (Terry O'Quinn)
Snubbed by: Heroes
Sure, Heroes was shiny and new, but Lost deserved to be there more. Acting, writing, and directing nominations and a win. Heroes had fewer and less variety. This is the same show that lost it's nomination a year after it won for Outstanding Drama, so, to call Emmy voters' love of Lost fickle would be an understatement.
#16-20
#15
Friday Night Lights - Season 4
Nominations: Lead Actor (Kyle Chandler), Lead Actress (Connie Britton), Writing, Casting
Wins: None
Snubbed by: True Blood
At the time, everyone was just happy to see this beloved show getting any Emmy attention. In hindsight, it makes no sense that it didn't get more love. Writing is probably the best indicator of an Outstanding Drama winner and any show pulling in two lead acting nominations is doing something right. Considering True Blood didn't pull any major nominations, it's really obtuse of the Emmys not to show FNL more love.
#14
Homicide: Life on the Street - Season 6
Nominations: Guest Actor (Charles Durning, Alfre Woodard, James Yoshimura), Writing
Wins: Lead Actor (Andre Braugher), Casting
Snubbed by: Law & Order
Look, the Emmys didn't love Homicide every year. In '98 they sure felt some love. Saying that it deserved an Outstanding Drama nomination of the last year's winner, Law & Order is too easy. It could even be said it was more deserving of a nomination over eventual winner, The Practice due to sheer nomination count.
#13
Entourage - Season 2
Year: 2006
Nominations: Directing (two), Writing, Casting
Wins: Supporting Actor (Jeremy Piven)
Snubbed by: Scrubs
It's weird to list Entourage as a snub considering all the years of undeserved nominations. In it's second season, it was still shiny and new and undiscovered by Emmy voters. As happy as it made me to see Scrubs nominated for Outstanding Comedy series, with its lone Lead Actor nomination, it seemed to deserve it less than Entourage that year.
#12
Murder One - Season 1
Year: 1996
Nominations: Supporting Actor (Stanley Tucci), Supporting Actress (Barbara Bosson), Directing, Writing, Cinematography
Wins: Art Direction
Snubbed by: Law & Order
Truth be told, I've never heard of this show before. It's first season earned a bevy of nominations though in nearly every major category. Once again, on paper, this looks a lot more deserving of a nomination over Law & Order's zero major noms.
#11
Lost - Season 3
Year: 2007
Nominations: Supporting Actor (Michael Emerson), Directing, Writing, Sound Editing, Single Camera Picture Editing
Wins: Supporting Actor (Terry O'Quinn)
Snubbed by: Heroes
Sure, Heroes was shiny and new, but Lost deserved to be there more. Acting, writing, and directing nominations and a win. Heroes had fewer and less variety. This is the same show that lost it's nomination a year after it won for Outstanding Drama, so, to call Emmy voters' love of Lost fickle would be an understatement.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Emmy Snubs by the Emmys: 20-16
If you need a refresher of what I'm doing, read this.
#20
Mad About You - Season 6
Year: 1998Nominations: Lead Actor (Paul Reiser), Guest Actor (Hank Azaria, Nathan Lane, Carol Burnett)
Wins: Lead Actress (Helen Hunt), Guest Actor (Mel Brooks)
Snubbed by: Seinfeld
The more shocking thing here isn't Mad About You dropping out the nomination field even though it pulled a ton of acting noms. (and wins). It's really the fact that it deserved a spot over Seinfeld of all shows which nearly fell entirely out of Emmy love in it's final season. Objectively speaking, Seinfeld needed more nominations to deserve the spot over Mad About You.
#19
The Good Wife - Season 3
Year: 2012
Nominations: Lead Actress (Julianna Margulies), Supporting Actress (Archie Panjabi, Christine Baranski), Guest Actress (Martha Plimpton), Guest Actor (Dylan Baker, Michael J. Fox), Casting
Wins: TBD
Snubbed by: Boardwalk Empire and Game of Thrones
The Good Wife got a ton of acting nominations again. To me, that seems more deserving to stay in the field than Boardwalk Empire or Game of Thrones which were hemorrhaging nominations from the year before. This isn't a quality judgment but a numbers one. We will see how this plays out at this year's awards ceremony.
#18
Ellen - Season 3
Year: 1997
Nominations: Lead Acress (Ellen DeGeneres), Guest Actress (Laura Dern), Directing,
Wins: Writing, Editing for a Series - Multi-Camera
Snubbed by: 3rd Rock from the Sun
I want to call Ellen's snub from the field, despite acting, directing, and writing noms indefensible, but the weak show on the list, 3rd Rock from the Sun, pulled two wins in it's only two major nominations (Lead Actor and Supporting Actress). Otherwise, I'd put this snub a lot higher up on the list.
#17
The Killing - Season 1
Year: 2011
Nominations: Lead Actress (Mireille Enos), Supporting Actress (Michelle Forbes), Directing, Writing, Casting, Single-Camera Picture Editing
Wins: None
&
Justified - Season 2
Year: 2011
Nominations: Lead Actor (Timothy Olyphant), Supporting Actor (Walton Goggins), Guest Actor (Jeremy Davies)
Wins: Supporting Actress (Margo Martindale)
Snubbed by: Dexter
The Killing may not have been great, but the noms don't lie. It certainly got the nominations to be considered. It clearly deserved it. Justified also raked in acting nominations. Either would've been excellent picks over Dexter that year with it's acting nominations for Michael C. Hall and Julia Stiles.
#16
My So-Called Life - Season 1
Year: 1995
Nominations: Lead Actress (Claire Danes), Directing, Writing
Wins: None
Snubbed by: Law & Order
My So Called Life had acting, directing, and writing noms. but Law & Order got the last Outstanding Drama nomination with no other major nominations. That's a load of bullshit if you ask me, and that's even ignoring the cult status My So-Called Life has gained over the years. 2012 should be a redeeming year for Claire Danes.
#20
Mad About You - Season 6
Year: 1998Nominations: Lead Actor (Paul Reiser), Guest Actor (Hank Azaria, Nathan Lane, Carol Burnett)
Wins: Lead Actress (Helen Hunt), Guest Actor (Mel Brooks)
Snubbed by: Seinfeld
The more shocking thing here isn't Mad About You dropping out the nomination field even though it pulled a ton of acting noms. (and wins). It's really the fact that it deserved a spot over Seinfeld of all shows which nearly fell entirely out of Emmy love in it's final season. Objectively speaking, Seinfeld needed more nominations to deserve the spot over Mad About You.
#19
The Good Wife - Season 3
Year: 2012
Nominations: Lead Actress (Julianna Margulies), Supporting Actress (Archie Panjabi, Christine Baranski), Guest Actress (Martha Plimpton), Guest Actor (Dylan Baker, Michael J. Fox), Casting
Wins: TBD
Snubbed by: Boardwalk Empire and Game of Thrones
The Good Wife got a ton of acting nominations again. To me, that seems more deserving to stay in the field than Boardwalk Empire or Game of Thrones which were hemorrhaging nominations from the year before. This isn't a quality judgment but a numbers one. We will see how this plays out at this year's awards ceremony.
#18
Ellen - Season 3
Nominations: Lead Acress (Ellen DeGeneres), Guest Actress (Laura Dern), Directing,
Wins: Writing, Editing for a Series - Multi-Camera
Snubbed by: 3rd Rock from the Sun
I want to call Ellen's snub from the field, despite acting, directing, and writing noms indefensible, but the weak show on the list, 3rd Rock from the Sun, pulled two wins in it's only two major nominations (Lead Actor and Supporting Actress). Otherwise, I'd put this snub a lot higher up on the list.
#17
Year: 2011
Nominations: Lead Actress (Mireille Enos), Supporting Actress (Michelle Forbes), Directing, Writing, Casting, Single-Camera Picture Editing
Wins: None
&
Justified - Season 2
Year: 2011
Nominations: Lead Actor (Timothy Olyphant), Supporting Actor (Walton Goggins), Guest Actor (Jeremy Davies)
Wins: Supporting Actress (Margo Martindale)
Snubbed by: Dexter
The Killing may not have been great, but the noms don't lie. It certainly got the nominations to be considered. It clearly deserved it. Justified also raked in acting nominations. Either would've been excellent picks over Dexter that year with it's acting nominations for Michael C. Hall and Julia Stiles.
#16
My So-Called Life - Season 1
Year: 1995
Nominations: Lead Actress (Claire Danes), Directing, Writing
Wins: None
Snubbed by: Law & Order
My So Called Life had acting, directing, and writing noms. but Law & Order got the last Outstanding Drama nomination with no other major nominations. That's a load of bullshit if you ask me, and that's even ignoring the cult status My So-Called Life has gained over the years. 2012 should be a redeeming year for Claire Danes.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Emmy Snubs by the Emmys: Intro
The word "snub" gets thrown around a lot in award shows and, generally it's a matter of opinion. Then again, sometimes it's not. Sometimes, the nominations and awards don't match up. In the case of the Emmys, it would be fit to reason that a show with nominations across the field (acting, writing, directing, etc.) probably deserves a nomination for Outstanding series, over a show with only a Guest Acting nomination. Of course, the Emmys are a fallible bunch not even bound to their own rules.
So, I got bored and compiled a big list of the biggest Emmy-induced snubs of the past 20 years. That means, these are the shows that, on paper, got all the big nominations, but still weren't picked for the big list (usually in favor of Law & Order: a fine show that never looked like it belonged there). I did my best to leave personal preference at the door and go with equal parts nomination count and weak nomination field.
I'm only going back 20 years. The reason, other than it taking a long time to compile this list as is, is because I chose the 1993 ceremony as the beginning of a more modern era of TV. Since The Larry Sanders Show pulled the Outstanding series nomination that year, cable has been a strong presence in the nominations.
Lastly, one other thing I will note. Reality TV doesn't have enough nomination categories to determine a "snub" by my metrics. Variety shows have been dominated by two shows (Late Night with David Letterman and The Daily Show) for almost this entire window and there is barely any turnover in the nominations anyways. TV Movie and Mini-series are being left out for a few reasons: 1) Not enough variety. 2) Weird BBC series rules. 3) Fusing of the categories. 4) No year-to-year turnover. 5) Mostly though, I've watched about 3% of the nominees and it feels disingenuous to comment on them. That leaves Outstanding Drama and Comedy Series.
Time to start the countdown, starting with the honorable mention.
Touched by an Angel - Season 3
Year: 1997
Nominations: Lead Actress (Roma Downey), Supporting Actress (Della Reese), Guest Actor (Louis Gossett Jr.), Guest Actress (Diane Ladd)
Wins: None
Snubbed by: Law & Order
For some reason, it took the Emmys a few seasons to notice this series existed. In 1997, it picked up a boatload of acting nominations. At first glance, it makes more sense for this to be nominated for Outstanding Drama series over Law & Order, but they redeemed that pick by giving Law & Order the win for the night (shockingly) and sending Touched by an Angel home empty handed.
Alias - Season 2
Year: 2003
Nominations: Lead Actress (Jennifer Garner), Supporting Actor (Victor Garber), Supporting Actress (Lena Olin), Art-Direction, Cinematography Single-Camera Series, Costumes, Hairstyling, Single-Camera Picture Editing
Wins: Makeup, Stunts
Snubbed by: CSI
Sure, CSI pulled off an acting nom. but Alias pulled three and a host of technical awards. I call that a discrepancy.
Just Shoot Me! - Season 2
Year: 1999
Nominations: Supporting Actor (David Spade), Supporting Actress (Wendie Malick), Writing, Multi-Camera Picture Editing
Wins: None
Snubbed by: Sex and the City
I know, I know. It sounds weird to call Just Shoot Me! a snub, especially over future winner, Sex and the City, but check the nominations. It was before Sex and the City's time in the sun and Just Shoot Me! had at least one year in Emmy's good graces.
Extras - Season 2
Year: 2007
Nominations: Guest Actor (Ian McKellen), Directing, Writing
Wins: Lead Actor (Ricky Gervais)
Snubbed by: Entourage
I get the feeling that HBO has to have a series comedy nomination and I think the Emmys picked the wrong show. Extras pulled "the trinity" (Writing, Directing, Acting noms). Entourage didn't. Simple as that.
So, I got bored and compiled a big list of the biggest Emmy-induced snubs of the past 20 years. That means, these are the shows that, on paper, got all the big nominations, but still weren't picked for the big list (usually in favor of Law & Order: a fine show that never looked like it belonged there). I did my best to leave personal preference at the door and go with equal parts nomination count and weak nomination field.
I'm only going back 20 years. The reason, other than it taking a long time to compile this list as is, is because I chose the 1993 ceremony as the beginning of a more modern era of TV. Since The Larry Sanders Show pulled the Outstanding series nomination that year, cable has been a strong presence in the nominations.
Lastly, one other thing I will note. Reality TV doesn't have enough nomination categories to determine a "snub" by my metrics. Variety shows have been dominated by two shows (Late Night with David Letterman and The Daily Show) for almost this entire window and there is barely any turnover in the nominations anyways. TV Movie and Mini-series are being left out for a few reasons: 1) Not enough variety. 2) Weird BBC series rules. 3) Fusing of the categories. 4) No year-to-year turnover. 5) Mostly though, I've watched about 3% of the nominees and it feels disingenuous to comment on them. That leaves Outstanding Drama and Comedy Series.
Time to start the countdown, starting with the honorable mention.
Touched by an Angel - Season 3
Year: 1997
Nominations: Lead Actress (Roma Downey), Supporting Actress (Della Reese), Guest Actor (Louis Gossett Jr.), Guest Actress (Diane Ladd)
Wins: None
Snubbed by: Law & Order
For some reason, it took the Emmys a few seasons to notice this series existed. In 1997, it picked up a boatload of acting nominations. At first glance, it makes more sense for this to be nominated for Outstanding Drama series over Law & Order, but they redeemed that pick by giving Law & Order the win for the night (shockingly) and sending Touched by an Angel home empty handed.
Alias - Season 2
Year: 2003
Nominations: Lead Actress (Jennifer Garner), Supporting Actor (Victor Garber), Supporting Actress (Lena Olin), Art-Direction, Cinematography Single-Camera Series, Costumes, Hairstyling, Single-Camera Picture Editing
Wins: Makeup, Stunts
Snubbed by: CSI
Sure, CSI pulled off an acting nom. but Alias pulled three and a host of technical awards. I call that a discrepancy.
Just Shoot Me! - Season 2
Year: 1999
Nominations: Supporting Actor (David Spade), Supporting Actress (Wendie Malick), Writing, Multi-Camera Picture Editing
Wins: None
Snubbed by: Sex and the City
I know, I know. It sounds weird to call Just Shoot Me! a snub, especially over future winner, Sex and the City, but check the nominations. It was before Sex and the City's time in the sun and Just Shoot Me! had at least one year in Emmy's good graces.
Extras - Season 2
Year: 2007
Nominations: Guest Actor (Ian McKellen), Directing, Writing
Wins: Lead Actor (Ricky Gervais)
Snubbed by: Entourage
I get the feeling that HBO has to have a series comedy nomination and I think the Emmys picked the wrong show. Extras pulled "the trinity" (Writing, Directing, Acting noms). Entourage didn't. Simple as that.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Movie Reaction: Total Recall
Formula: (Minority Report + The Game + I, Robot + The Sixth Day + Blade Runner + Total Recall) / Originality
...This is an alarmingly common story.
Cast: Oh August, you never surprise me. We've reached that point in the summer where every week brings a throwaway movie of some kind. I get the feeling that the studio that made this didn't put it's full weight behind it. The cast is comprised of a lot of people that seem like 2nd or 3rd choices for the roles. They dusted of Colin Farrell for the Arnold Schwarzenegger role and he does a good but not particularly memorable job. Kate Beckinsale plays an attractive antagonist who kicks ass. Jessica Biel plays an attractive protagonist who kicks ass less well. Bryan Cranston plays a character that is disappointingly stale given the range he's shown on Breaking Bad. No one else matters all that much in the cast as they are given about 10 lines each.
Plot: Truth be told, I don't remember ever seeing the original so I came to this with fresh eyes.Largely, this was uninspired. It felt small in virtually every way. For a two hour movie, there was little sense of depth. Most of the speeches were trope-tacular. The world as it was built looked lived in but wasn't very well explained. For a movie that means to play on subjective perception of reality, there is very little questioning what it real and what isn't. You seen this plot done before and done better.
Elephant in the Room: Why would I see this instead of checking out that movie that's been out for a while that I haven't seen yet? You wouldn't. Simple as that. There's probably six movies in limited release I'd see over this. Granted, I saw this instead of those, so I'm pretty inconsistent, huh?
To Sum Things Up:
Don't bother. This movie was burned off not even as counter-programming in the shadow of The Dark Knight Rises for a reason. It's a 7pm Tuesday on TBS kind of movie. See Take This Waltz. See Moonrise Kingdom. See Beasts of the Southern Wild. Watch The Dark Knight Rises again. "Bland" is the best word to describe it, overall. Not bad. Just, not interesting.
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
...This is an alarmingly common story.
Cast: Oh August, you never surprise me. We've reached that point in the summer where every week brings a throwaway movie of some kind. I get the feeling that the studio that made this didn't put it's full weight behind it. The cast is comprised of a lot of people that seem like 2nd or 3rd choices for the roles. They dusted of Colin Farrell for the Arnold Schwarzenegger role and he does a good but not particularly memorable job. Kate Beckinsale plays an attractive antagonist who kicks ass. Jessica Biel plays an attractive protagonist who kicks ass less well. Bryan Cranston plays a character that is disappointingly stale given the range he's shown on Breaking Bad. No one else matters all that much in the cast as they are given about 10 lines each.
Plot: Truth be told, I don't remember ever seeing the original so I came to this with fresh eyes.Largely, this was uninspired. It felt small in virtually every way. For a two hour movie, there was little sense of depth. Most of the speeches were trope-tacular. The world as it was built looked lived in but wasn't very well explained. For a movie that means to play on subjective perception of reality, there is very little questioning what it real and what isn't. You seen this plot done before and done better.
Elephant in the Room: Why would I see this instead of checking out that movie that's been out for a while that I haven't seen yet? You wouldn't. Simple as that. There's probably six movies in limited release I'd see over this. Granted, I saw this instead of those, so I'm pretty inconsistent, huh?
To Sum Things Up:
Don't bother. This movie was burned off not even as counter-programming in the shadow of The Dark Knight Rises for a reason. It's a 7pm Tuesday on TBS kind of movie. See Take This Waltz. See Moonrise Kingdom. See Beasts of the Southern Wild. Watch The Dark Knight Rises again. "Bland" is the best word to describe it, overall. Not bad. Just, not interesting.
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2011
A quick recap of what I'm doing here.
1. Just Go With It/Jack and Jill
It was a bad year for Adam Sandler. I mean, profitably, it was ok, but if That's My Boy's box office numbers are any indication, these two quite awful comedies hurt even his drawing ability.
2. Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star
I refuse to see this movie (another Happy Madison production. Coincidence?). There is also no need to. I want to like Nick Swarsdon. He's making it hard.
3. Medea's Big Happy Family
Tyler Perry can always find a spot on this list.
4. Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son
The second cross dressing black man movie in a row. Maybe it's a cultural or racial thing, but I don't like it. Also, was anyone asking for another one of these? The first was ok. Why push it?
5. The Hangover Part II
People loved the first one a lot more than I did. Still, I went into this with an open mind. If this movie didn't rehash the same jokes, go bigger and broader with the humor when it should've refined it, and churn out a script that felt lazy and uninspired at best, I probably would've kept in limbo instead of moving it to dregs of comedy ranks.
INCOMPLETE LIST
Attack the Block
I watched this with split focus. That's a horrible idea when dealing with British accents. I barely remember it. I need to give it a rewatch because I've heard good things, and I liked what I remember.
The Smurfs
I think my list only has room from one 70s throwback kids movie. While I doubt this could knock off The Muppets, until I've seen it, I won't say it's not possible.
Win Win
I hear good things. Until I've seen it, I don't know. It could be great.
Past Years:
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2010
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2009
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2008
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2007
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2006
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2005
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2004
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2003
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2002
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2001
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2000
Bottom Comedy Movies of 1999
1. Just Go With It/Jack and Jill
It was a bad year for Adam Sandler. I mean, profitably, it was ok, but if That's My Boy's box office numbers are any indication, these two quite awful comedies hurt even his drawing ability.
2. Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star
I refuse to see this movie (another Happy Madison production. Coincidence?). There is also no need to. I want to like Nick Swarsdon. He's making it hard.
3. Medea's Big Happy Family
Tyler Perry can always find a spot on this list.
4. Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son
The second cross dressing black man movie in a row. Maybe it's a cultural or racial thing, but I don't like it. Also, was anyone asking for another one of these? The first was ok. Why push it?
5. The Hangover Part II
People loved the first one a lot more than I did. Still, I went into this with an open mind. If this movie didn't rehash the same jokes, go bigger and broader with the humor when it should've refined it, and churn out a script that felt lazy and uninspired at best, I probably would've kept in limbo instead of moving it to dregs of comedy ranks.
INCOMPLETE LIST
Attack the Block
I watched this with split focus. That's a horrible idea when dealing with British accents. I barely remember it. I need to give it a rewatch because I've heard good things, and I liked what I remember.
The Smurfs
I think my list only has room from one 70s throwback kids movie. While I doubt this could knock off The Muppets, until I've seen it, I won't say it's not possible.
Win Win
I hear good things. Until I've seen it, I don't know. It could be great.
Past Years:
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2010
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2009
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2008
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2007
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2006
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2005
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2004
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2003
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2002
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2001
Bottom Comedy Movies of 2000
Bottom Comedy Movies of 1999
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