Delayed Reaction: Saw III

What I Guessed It Was About: A bunch of strangers are forced to do a lot of horrible things to themselves and others as the thread to the original movie is lost even more than it already was.

How I Came Into It: I've covered this already. I don't like these movies. I get no thrill out of what they do. I'm watching them in part so that I can say that I gave them a fair chance, and I really am. The first movie was better than I thought. The second was not. If this one was great, I'd admit it. That doesn't mean I wasn't prepared for the opposite.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This advances the larger story in a way that almost makes it look like it was the plan all along (as opposed to most horror franchises where the first was stand-alone and a mythology gets developed before making the second). The new tortures were plenty inventive and disgusting (the pig chopper, for instance) for the fans of that stuff.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I assumed the husband and wife story (aka "the twist") pretty early on, which killed the big reveal. The problem with being clever, which the first Saw was, is that it's hard to do. You can't be 90% consistent to be clever. You have to think it all through. As the Saw series progresses, Jigsaw leaves far too much up to chance. That it all worked out as he expected then isn't being a mastermind. It's being exceptionally lucky. I should be leaving this movie with a grin on my face at the thoroughness of it all, not thinking "It's sure lucky that he shot her at the end".

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Me & Earl & The Dying Girl

Formula: The Kings of Summer + (1 / The Fault in Our Stars) + (The Way Way Back + The Perks of Being a Wallflower)/2

Why I Saw It: It won the Sundance Audience award this year.

Cast: On the younger side you have Thomas Mann (Me), RJ Cyler (Earl), Olivia Cooke (The Dying Girl), and Katherine Hughes. The adults include TV all-stars such as Nick Offerman (Parks & Rec.), Molly Shannon (SNL), Connie Britton (FNL), and Jon Bernthal (Tha Walking Dead).

Plot: Greg (Mann) is a teenage kid who values the fact that he's avoided belonging to any clique or group throughout high school. One day, his mom (Britton) makes him hang out with a girl in his class, Rachel (Cooke), who was just diagnosed with cancer. Despite the forced beginning, they become fast friends. Greg's only other friend is Earl (Cyler), who he calls his "coworker" because the two of them make really bad movies. All of these are parodies of classic movies, but with the titles changed to something stupid. We see plenty of these throughout the film. At one point, a hot girl in Greg's class, Madison, finds out about these movies and gets Greg to make one for Rachel. You can fill in the other blanks in the plot by calling it a coming of age story.

Thoughts: This movie blew me away. I can't say that will be the case for everyone, but it checked off basically every box I had. The cast, the type of movie, the way it's shot, and the story all meshed completely.
I didn't have much reason to care for the young cast. Mann has a poor track record with me. I've seen him in Project X and Hansel & Gretel, which both ranked among my least favorite movies the years they came out (2012, 2013). I haven't seen Bates Motel so Cooke was new to me. Cyler and Hughes are newcomers I haven't seen at all either. That said, I'll be following them closely now. Mann and Cooke in particular are amazing playing both sides of this strained friendship.
I'm a sucker for a good coming of age story and this is a very good one. The particular shading of Greg is dead on. He's not a social reject. He's just hiding. He's frustrating at times because he's a screw-up. He's likable at times because he's a sweet kid. He's funny at times because he's clever. He's everything you want for this movie.
I'm not one to notice how a film is shot very often. This is an exception. It's filmed it a pretty overt way. Some scene are shot as a continuous take so that you don't get a release from the tension of what's happening. Shots are constantly angled to show distance between characters too. I look forward to seeing what else I catch in future viewings.
I don't want to get into the story too much. There's not really anything to "spoil" per se, but it's better the more you let the story take you where it wants. What blew me away is that the message of the movie. Among other things, it's about the fullness of any person's life and no matter how well we know someone, there's always something new to be learned. It isn't quite what I expected, and when the movie makes it clear, that hit me harder than just about anything in recent memory. I'll be curious to see what other people take away from it.

Elephant in the Room: It looks quirky? Is it quirky? Is someone going to be talking on a hamburger phone? It's a quirky movie. There's no two ways about that. This is a strange world. Greg has an odd point of view. He shoots homemade parodies of The 400 Blows and A Clockwork Orange. Offerman as his father is a cartoon. The quirks work though. The joke-movies become an emotional through line for Greg and Rachel. Offerman's lunacy completely informs how Greg is the way he is. Personally, I look at all the quirks as details and this movie is incredible at building characters through these details.

To Sum Things Up (in 57 Words or Less):This is a great movie and surely one of my favorites for the year. Thomas Mann and Olivia Cooke are fantastic (on par with Miles Teller and Shailene Woodley in The Spectacular Now). This does a coming of age and a high school story right.

Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: V/H/S: Viral

What I Guessed It Was About: Given the structure of the other movies and the title of this one, I can only assume the next story of this movie is about finding a Youtube for snuff.

How I Came Into It: I love the first two V/H/S movies. They'd been in my top five of the years they came out without question. They are inventive, scary, disgustingly beautiful at times, and linger with you. Being an anthology, I realize that there's not a lot of connective tissue from one to the next, but the hit percentage of those movies is exceptional. As soon as I heard about Viral, I was as excited for it as anything I've seen in the last year.

Why I Saw It: There's still an attempt to be inventive in the style that each story is told. I quite enjoyed the Spanish story in the middle, told through a series of handheld cameras. I don't know how much the experience would be changed if I knew what was being said, but I loved that it didn't have subtitles. The performances spoke for themselves. Even the other mini-movies, which I enjoyed less, were different from what had been done before.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I've heard that the plan is for this to be the last V/H/S movie and after seeing this, I'm glad. For as much as I liked the first two, this was a major let down. The magician story looked like a violent episode of Goosebumps. The skateboarding story wasn't very engaging. The bridging story didn't really make sense. I'm not sure what all the viral stuff was about (Were they trying to make a point? Was that actually supposed to be scary? I don't know!). Unless you are really hard pressed for a new horror movie, I'd strongly recommend stopping after V/H/S 2. This is too much of a drop in quality.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Saw 2

The Pitch: It'll be just like Saw, but with an actual budget.

How I Came Into It: I don't like the so-called "torture porn" movies. They don't scare me. They just make me feel nauseous (See my Evil Dead Reaction). I've been putting off these movies for a while as a result. I knew secondhand that Saw is the high point of the series and from there, it gives into the impulses to make it more shocking than clever. So, I made sure I had an empty stomach, a small screen, and ample distractions if necessary and gave this one a try.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This is a competent entry in the franchise. It has the exact things I was expecting: melodrama, a good twist or two, and plenty of inventive ways to torture people. If the thrill for you is to see something that makes you look away, then this is for you, pit of needles and all.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: On a physical level, I am not built for these movies. I just can't do it. If not for this damn project of mine, I'd never consider watching these (Sorry Hostel. You should've made more money). There's worse movies I'd happily watch over this. Naturally, that means I still have two more of these to suffer through. Fuck my life.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Weekly 10: 6/19-6/25

So far, I've been wrong about every week I've said that I'll have trouble coming up with ten things to represent my week. That again applies to this week. A lot of good stuff happening and plenty to see. I'm still predicting next week will be a bit harder.

Inside Out
Quickly one of my very favorite Pixar movies and certainly one of the best movies I'll see this year. And now I can say things like "that $200 million movie starring Phyllis Smith" which is pretty cool.

NBA Draft
I promise. This is the last I'll be mentioning basketball for a while.

Girl Meets World "Girl Meets Hurricane"
This is Boy Meets World fan fiction by now. I'm eating it up. I do wonder how much these call-backs isolate the new fans (See: the non-adults watching the Disney Channel). Even though the scripts are rubbish, the heart is there and it's impressive how many episodes I sincerely end up liking because of that.

True Detective Premiere
Season 1 was a singular experience. I'm glad that the second season is a massive departure. Since I like this cast so much, I'm staying optimistic that the season is going to be a slow-build like Fargo or Breaking Bad. This certainly didn't pull me in as immediately as Rust Cohle and Marty Hart did.

Battlebots Premiere
I ate the original show up so of course I'd give this a try. They need to inject some humor into it. Playing it straight feels wrong. Otherwise, this looks like a good formula. Just enough background of the competitors to be interesting and not stalling for time. It's going to be a short, six episode season, which sounds right. I'm excited for now.

American Ninja Warrior
This week, the course was in Universal Studios Orlando, which was very distracting. Something about this iteration of the course seemed more dangerous than normal. A lot more people getting hurt or nearly hurt.

Halt and Catch Fire "Play with Friends"
They are laying down more pipe to bring everyone back together. I liked seeing Joe and Gordon interact some more. Gordon is clearly suspicious of Joe. But, since he knows that Joe is always scheming he's more relaxed about taking part in it. It sort of reminds me of the advice "You shouldn't work with your friends" except I don't know which they are.

A Nightmare of Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge
A friend promised me that this was the "subtly" gayest horror movie around and that's exactly what I got. That certainly made an otherwise ho-hum movie interesting.

Parks and Recreation
I recently popped in the last disk of season 4, the election season. That show is great! "The Debate". "Win, Lose, or Draw". Even "Bus Tour". So, so great!!!

Last Week Tonight
Never a bad episode. This week, he went after how shitty the internet is for women.

Delayed Reaction: Ladder 49

What I Guessed It Was About: This is the story of a fire department in New York (because it's always New York). Two brothers (because they're always brothers) are in the 49th precinct (or whatever they call them. Stations, maybe?) and are proud of their works. They have families, or at least one guy has a family. If they all have families, then one guy has a pregnant girlfriend. Regardless, that guy dies at the end. The movie ends with a funeral and I'm supposed to be crying. That's all I'm going to assume. Anything more, and I'll turn this even more into Backdraft than I already have.(As it turns out, I was assuming this was exactly the same as Backdraft although not entirely off base)

How I Came Into It: I remember hearing when it first came out that "the one guy dies" which I could've told you going in blind (who "the one guy" is being the only variable). It is no surprise that this movie comes out three years after 9/11: the day that firefighters became gods. Given that context, there's not a lot to expect out of this.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I like Joaquin Phoenix, even when he wasn't so concerned with being an oddball and I miss the days when John Travolta's brand appeal gets him put on a poster for a movie despite having a very supporting role. The familiar structure of following Phoenix's whole career (a la American Sniper more recently) worked better than a snapshot view of a short period, at least for the effect the movie was hoping to have.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I don't necessarily have a problem with a movie manipulating my emotions (In fact, I loved About Time for it), but it has to be done really well for me to embrace the emotion and ignore the manipulation. This felt very familiar, like it was pitched as a movie to cash in on people's love for firefighters after 9/11 without directly referencing 9/11*. More importantly, I have issue with the wedding scene in the middle of the movie. You see, it uses a song that is used in Gilmore Girls all the time. The one that goes "la-la-la" that they use for scenes when no one is talking. I didn't realize this was an actual song and has lyrics. Ladder 49 uses it with said lyrics and I'm so thrown off now. True, this isn't really the movie's fault, but I'm blaming it anyway.

*The studios would wait until 2006's World Trade Center for that.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Blade 2

The Pitch: Blade, except this time, it's even more Blade-y than before. This time, it's some Mexican director.

How I Came Into It: Well, I saw Blade*. I continued to dislike Wesley Snipes and be indifferent about vampires. Guillrmo del Toro directing got my interest. The phrase "you can't polish a turd" comes to mind though.

*I saw it recently and I swear I wrote a Delayed Reaction for it, but for the life of me, I can't find it and I have no desire to revisit it.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I like the cast assembled for this. I don't like Wesley Snipes but he is right for the role. Hellboy, poor man's Jeff Bridges, and the better Boondock Saint are nice and eclectic characters for this world. The action is all so very over the top in a mostly good way (I forgive some moments of dated effects).

Why I Wish I Hadn't: When you see Guillermo del Toro's name attached to something, you want it to be a Guillrmo del Toro movie and this wasn't one. He tried almost too hard to stick to the look of the first movie, which was fine but also something you'd want out of a rent-a-director type.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Jungle 2 Jungle

The Pitch: Tim Allen adopts Mowgli.

How I Came Into It: My Netflix account has been trying to get me to skip this for [no kidding] years. It's been at the top of my queue several times and delayed by the dreaded "Very Long Wait" each time. I don't believe in bad omens, but a force more powerful than me was clearly telling me something.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I forget that Tim Allen was a big deal at one point. Home Improvement was a massive hit. He had movies like The Santa Clause and Toy Story making him the patron saint of Disney in the 90s. That means there's movies like Jungle 2 Jungle, and it's a fine movie. It's just Crocodile Dundee for kids, or for a new generation (whatever you want to call it). 

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Director John Pasquin and Tim Allen work together a lot. Their first movie, The Santa Clause, was a charming hit. Their next movie after this was Joe Somebody: not a hit bit but a movie that for some reason I've watched many times. While tonally, everything about Jungle 2 Jungle is the same as the other two, something isn't quite right in the final product. Allen's character is too unlikeable and nothing about Mimi makes sense. The climactic part of the movie was completely tacked on to try to give the movie some sort of plot (reminded me a lot of Man of the House, but far less effective).

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Inside Out

Formula: Sort of like...Osmosis Jones...except not really...and much better

Why I Saw It: When Pixar has an original movie, it's as excited as I'll get for any studio film.

[Voice] Cast: Amy Poehler (Joy), Phyllis Smith (Sadness), Bill Hader (Fear), Lewis Black (Anger), and Mindy Kaling (Disgust) all feel like Pixar got their first choice. Richard Kind, Diane Lane, Kyle MacLachlan, and newcomer Kaitlyn Dias are all wonderful too.

Plot: The story works on two levels. The top level is that Riley is an 11 year old girl living in Minnesota. Her parents abruptly move to San Francisco for her father's job. Riley has trouble fitting in and wants to go home. The bulk of the story happens on the other level, in Riley's head, where her emotions, led by Joy try to navigate her through what going on. After the move, Joy starts to lose control of Riley. There's an accident in Riley's brain's control room, and Joy and Sadness end up in her long term memory. As those two try to get back to the control room, Anger, Disgust, and Fear have to run Riley. This doesn't go well. It's a pretty simple plot on either level, which is part of what makes it so good.

Thoughts: This is the smartest movie Pixar has ever made. It's not them trying to be too clever, which derails many animated movies. This is Pixar being as smart as they think they are. It's a wickedly clever concept and layered deeply while still being completely accessible. I don't know how they do it. The movie is also hilarious. It's sad. It's fun. Seriously, you have to be trying to not enjoy this film.

Elephant in the Room: Could I watch this movie in lieu of taking Psych 101? Probably. The more fitting thing to say is that anyone who has taken a basic psychology class (or some sort of cognitive-whatever class) will be able to smugly laugh at a lot of little jokes littered throughout the movie. It's designed for all ages, so it's not isolating with those jokes. It's just a case of knowing a little can help a lot to love the movie even more than you already will.

To Sum Things Up (In 57 Words or Less)
In a summer with so many great or big or satisfying movies, this may be the one to beat. Pixar has outdone itself, which is quite a feat. I don’t have a bad thing to say about this movie. I’m going to stop here, lest I slip into hyperbole.

Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

Second Thought: Tomorrowland

The idea behind my Movie Reactions is to get exactly that: my reaction. I specifically avoid calling them reviews even though that's what they are because I want it to be my immediate reaction to a movie. It's the style I like best. For most movies, it doesn't matter. A month later, I still think Mad Max Fury Road is incredible. I still think Age of Ultron is imperfect and enjoyable on a large scale. Occasionally, there's too much clutter to sort out a movie initially or with one viewing.

Such is the case for Tomorrowland. I'll start off by admitting that I let a review or two I'd read beforehand color my opinion going into the movie. That's the danger of reviews. While normally they prepare me for what I'm going to see, sometimes they end driving what I focus on in the movie, like I'm trying to reverse engineer what the reviewer saw. I'm not sure if that's the result of writing reviews myself or if other people have that issue too. Normally it isn't a problem for me. For Tomorrowland, it sort of was. Tomorrowland is a movie with a lot to unpack and I couldn't shake it. I thought about it long after my writing my Reaction to it, which normally means, when the dust settles, that's a movie I really like. For those reasons and others, I decided to see it again.

I really like this movie. I assume it'll be in my top 10 by the end of December. I haven't done a Second Thought piece like this before, so I wanted to make that point clear before I get into what could be a rambling mess.

 Cast

I enjoy this cast. It's small. It's cohesive. It isn't normal. The leader of the three amigos is the youngest looking one. The most childish one is the oldest. The hero is a teenage girl without a hint of a love interest.

George Clooney has the toughest job of the three. He has the most untold story of anyone. Frank is still a kid, except now he's older, disenfranchised, and angry. He's literally haunted by his childhood in the form of Athena, still exactly the same as the day he met her. Clooney manages to be a grown man, playing a boy who is still infatuated with this girl without it seeming a little creepy. That's impressive. Frank never wanted to be the crank he's become and watching him come out of his shell is thrilling in the small moments. I particularly like when he starts getting carried away talking about Tesla and Edison. It takes work for him to stay angry and reclusive all the time.

Raffey Cassidy has the best role. She's the fun one. She's the little girl who knows the most, can fight other AAs like a boss, and still gets to be vulnerable. Despite being a robot, Athena's very much a person how the movie treats her. She clearly has her own motivations, but it's never made clear if that's something in her programming (You can't command a toaster to not toast if you turn it on and leave it plugged in. That same applies to a recruiter-bot) or if there's inherently something more or special about her. I'm glad the movie doesn't get too caught up on this, although I do want to know more. I'll go ahead and admit now that at least 20% of the effectiveness of the character for me comes from her being British. I'm American. She sounds smarter. That's just how it is.

I'm the most torn about Bitt Robertson as Casey. Casey is a great character. She's smart and optimistic and motivated. This isn't some random "chosen one" story. In a way, the whole movie is a test for her and she passes. I'd still like to know what the test she scored a 73 on was all about though. Her great strength is that she doesn't give up. She's the motor of the group. Robertson, I can't figure out. I think this is kind of like when I saw Shalaine Woodley in The Descendents: I need to see her in something else before I can fully appreciate what she is doing here. I need that contrast. As it is, I'm missing the thing that makes Casey interesting on a human level. I'm still looking for the grace notes that round her out. They may be there and I still haven't caught them.

There's not enough time in the movie to make Nix interesting. I love Hugh Laurie. He does what is needed here. He's basically a plot device though. There needs to be a villain to get to this larger message and he's that guy. I know almost nothing about him and I'd like to know more.

Plot

I stand by my initial stance that there is more to this movie than its run time can fit. David Lindelof and Brad Bird clearly put a lot of thought into this and I'm certain there's much longer drafts out there and all sorts of side information prepared in not included. There must be a good novelization out there or on its way. It's pretty great when a movie is like that. The world feels fully formed and not in a way that's begging for a sequel.

At times though, there just too much. It feels like trying to explain the quadratic equation in a tweet. The movie struggles to find a way to get it all out there, which is why there's so much speechifying at the end.

And, I'll outright admit. I still don't understand Nix's plot. Is he trying to destroy the Earth or does he want to save it? Did he originally intend to save the Earth by broadcasting the future? How does that machine work exactly (I'm with Casey's initial assessment of it. You can't know with certainty when you are going to die). I get it in the broad strokes, but it is very confusing. There's a lot of smaller points in this movie that aren't answered that are pretty frustrating.

This is a big picture movie though and the big picture is a great one.

The world's not going to save itself. Tomorrowland puts out a call for exceptional people, which is a standard Brad Bird concept, except with the tweak that really, "exceptional people" are simply the ones not content with leaving the world for dead. It doesn't do any good to assume we're doomed and that's what entertainment thrives on these days. That becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. It so refreshing to see something that is so decidedly optimistic. As cool as Mad Max Fury Road is, Tomorrowland actually causes me to leave the theater wanting to do something productive.

 Tomorrowland

A gut response to the movie both times I saw it is that I want more Tomorrowland. It's a fun ride to get there. There's just not enough time actually spent in Tomorrowland for the part of me that wants to see that realized world. Especially when you look at the cost of the movie (just shy of $200 million from what I've heard), it's hard to understand why so little time is spent there.

Tomorrowland an allegory though. It's a future that we can look forward to. It's not the movie. It's the destination. Bird very deliberately leaves the audience wanting more. It's almost like he's saying "Do you want to see more jetpacks? Then go make one."

 Blockbuster

This is not Bird's best action movie. That would be Ghost Protocol. Nothing in Tomorrowland is as well staged as the island sequence in The Incredibles either. It's still a plenty exciting movie. There's the fight in the collectible shop and the escape from Frank's house for example. Even though the fight at the end has an iffy geography, it still has Clooney and Laurie fighting in a believable manner (See 'messy' and 'unskilled')*.

However, the dirty little secret is that it's not really meant to be a popcorn blockbuster. It has the price tag of one. So does Interstellar. SciFi done well is expensive. It's a pretty small movie in a lot of ways and that works for it. I just wish Disney could've found a better way to sell it to people. They tried. It didn't work.

*Sidenote: One of my favorite small moments in the movie is when the portal to Tomorrowland closes with Frank and Nix still on the island. They immediately stop fighting because they realize there's no point as long as it's closed. That's one of those details that wins me over in a movie.

I like to end my Reactions where I sum everything up. Often, that part ends up longer than the rest of the post, thus undermining the concept. Still, I like the idea of succinctly breaking my assessment down to something simple. And, despite all my examination of this movie, when I get down to it, it's pretty simple.

I like this movie because it makes me feel good.

Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Full Metal Jacket

The Pitch: One day, Stanley Kubrick decided that Coppola's Apocalypse, Now didn't go crazy enough.

How I Came Into It: I saw the first part of the movie several years ago and didn't know what to make of it. Beyond that, I've seen a good sampling of Kubrick's work (The Shining, Eyes Wide Shut, A Clockwork Orange, 2001, Dr. Strangelove) so I know to go in prepared to be a little confused by what he's trying to do.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This is the kind of war movie I'd expect from Stanley Kubrick. It's all about the madness of war. It's essentially two smaller movies with a loose connective tissue that inform one another. I was tense the whole way through in an intended way. R. Lee Ermy is a force the whole time he is one camera. All the actors are pretty great in this, from Matthew Modine to Vincent D'Onofrio to, hey, was that Adam Baldwin?

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I was removed from it the whole time. Like most of the other Kubrick movies I've seen, this felt more like a thought experiment than a movie for long stretches. I'm glad that a filmmaker like this can get his voice out there. It's just not one that I'm all that committed to rewatching.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Weekly 10: 6/12-6/18

I'm back with another weekly ten: my look back at the last week and  the ten things that most made it memorable in TV, movies, and the occasional other form of media.It was a big week. Not many this busy for quite a while.

Orange is the New Black Season 3
This was by far my favorite season of the series. I'm still trying to determine what made it work so much better for me. Here's some of my thoughts:
-It didn't start with an episode I hated. The season 2 premiere was on a technical level, a well made episode. However, I couldn't stand watching it. The characters featured and the overall structure of it turned me off.
-It veered more between comedic and dramatic lows. The episodes were overall a lot funnier, yet there were more moments that wrecked me (Big Boo's flashback, pretty much anything with Poussey, and really any flashback now that I think about it). I could see how this could lead others to find the season uneven. It completely worked for me.
-The show and the audience have settle in. A lot of people think of this show as somewhat revolutionary which I've found to be overstated. It's Weeds meets Oz with a fantastic ensemble. By season three, there's not much to introduce anymore and it's all about finding new situations to put the familiar characters into. As long as the writers are still engaged, that's my favorite part in a show's lifespan.

Silicon Valley Season Finale
Nothing that beats "Optimal Tip to Tip Efficiency". A lot this season came close. Dinesh and Gilfoyle's SWOT chart. Erlich being an ass at all the investor meetings. Richard's meeting with the porn site executive after they deleted a ton of their content. The guy falling out of the bird's nest last week. I love this show!

Veep Season Finale
Strong finale. The time jump was abrupt, but I'm glad they got to the election. Regardless of what happens next year (Selina is Veep again. She stays POTUS. Unthinkably, she's out of office), I hope Hugh Laurie is back.

Jurassic World
It's kind of a big deal. Sure, it's fun to pick on what's wrong with the movie. I'm amazed that any production that large can come together as something coherent in the first place, so I'm content being thrilled to see cool dinosaur action and Chris Pratt on top of the world.

Game of Thrones Season Finale
Finales are never the OMG episodes of the season, so I was prepared for a fairly subdued episode. Instead, everyone died. I don't believe for one second that Jon Snow is actually dead, so it wasn't a big gut punch. I'm very curious to see where things go next season, presumably being written without a book to guide the writers.

Hannibal "Secondo"
I'm not sure how to verify it, but I'm pretty sure this is the darkest season yet. That's referring to the actual brightness of the scenes, not the tone of it.

NBA Finals
I was really hoping for a game 7. I'm in awe of what Lebron and Co. were able to do against a deserving of the championship and dominating Warriors team. What a great series. Now, onto the draft.

First Blood
I was about to watch this on AMC. I held off until I got the DVD from Netflix instead. Now that I've seen it, I'm not sure I would've lost much by sticking with AMC. Entertaining movie.

Girl Meets World "Girl Meets Rules"
It was about time for another classroom-heavy episode and a return of Harley. I don't remember Boy Meets World hitting on the good-seed/bad-seed dynamic as much with Corey and Shawn as this does with Riley and Maya. It probably did and I'm looking at this from a different perspective.

Tomorrowland
I'm so happy I saw this again. I liked it so much more this time. I'll be posting my thoughts about this second viewing in a few days.

Delayed Reaction: Rio 2

The Pitch: Rio is basically Ferngully anyway. Let's bridge the gap.

How I Came Into It: I mostly forgot about the first movie until I was made aware of the sequel. There's also the matter of being oddly attracted to a bird because it had Anne Hathaway's voice, but that's a whole other issue that I'd rather not dig deeper into.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) The question one should ask with any of these animated movies (or any sequel) is "Ok, what's next?". The first movie is about finding the other BB (short for Blue Bird, which will have to do, because I'm not looking the real name up of those birds) that's left. Obviously, the second will then be about finding even more BBs. The influx of new characters (the colony and Blu's kids) is one part overload, one part refreshing variety. Bruno Mars' bird is very Bruno Mars-y. I'm calling that a good thing since people really dig him. There's enough of the same wacky humor kids liked from the first movie.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: There is a complete character overload, including a lot of dead weight leftover from the first movie. There's almost no need for characters to return other than Blu, Jewel, Linda, and Roberto. I should give up on the notion that an animated sequel will ever do something unexpected. Movies like this are among the most formulaic out there. I guess that's why it's so rare that I seek them out when they are still in theaters.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

2015 DVR Bloodletting

The DVR is dead.

Remember 2008? Netflix was offering online content as a free bonus for renting the DVDs. Amazon was a site for buying stuff. Hulu barely looked like a step up from illegal streaming sites. HBO had its series under lock and key. People still called their DVRs Tivo. It was a simpler time. An obsessive TV watcher could sum up a year's TV viewing experience simply by going through his DVR list.
I've been living in 2008 for a while now, and why wouldn't I? Heather Ledger was still alive (for some of it at least). Conan was still a promising replacement for Jay Leno on The Tonight Show. Mad Men was still winning Emmys.
Since 2012, one of my favorite annual traditions on this excuse for the ways I waste my time I call a blog has been my DVR bloodletting. It's when I make a list of what I'm watching, assess why I'm watching the shows, and cut ties with the ones that aren't worth it. I think there's tremendous personal value to this. If left unchecked, I'll watch a full season of Outsourced because I watched the pilot. That's a problem.
By now, even having cable makes me feel like a relic. Pretending like my DVR contains all the series that I watch and love in a year is short-selling just how much time I spend watching TV and doesn't include a significant number of my favorite shows. So, it's time to get with the present and update how I do things. I'm keeping the "DVR Bloodletting" name though, because "2015 Shows That I Watch on TV or Online Either When They First Come Out or Later from Netflix, But Before the New Season Actually Airs" isn't as catchy.
I'll divide the shows into basic categories and, mostly for my own amusement, include a [ ] to explain how I'm watching the show, which should give some insight as to what means of watching I have available. You'll notice that "channels" like Showtime (Shameless), BBC America (Orphan Black) and Amazon Prime (Transparent) are missing. I dream of a day when I can afford all the networks I want.

Past Editions:
2014
2013
2012

Absolute Locks to Stay
(Shows that will not be leaving my DVR under any circumstance or get priority viewing by online means)

The Americans [via DVR] - One of the very best shows on TV. Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys are superb.
Better Call Saul [via DVR] - I started it out of obligation to Breaking Bad and ended the season loving it as its own show.
Brooklyn Nine Nine [via DVR] - It didn't make the leap I was hoping for this season. It's still safe because it's still funny.
Fargo [via DVR] - It hasn't been on since my last Bloodletting. It's back in the fall and there's no chance I'll miss it.
Game of Thrones [via HBOGo] - I have to say, it's so much nicer and easier to be keeping up with this weekly rather than needing to binge.
Girls [via HBOGo] - This was never a show that was meant to age well, but it still completely works for me.
Hannibal [via DVR] - The prettiest show on TV and the most baffling to be on network TV.
Last Week Tonight [via HBOGo] - The Daily Show is too hard to keep up with and John Oliver is a singular talent that I can't go without.
Louie [via DVR] - Impossible to categorize or substitute.
The Middle [via DVR] - The model of network comedy consistency. There's almost never a bad episode.
Orange is the New Black [via Netflix] - After this last season, I'm completely in.
Silicon Valley [via HBOGo] - I devoured the first season when I first saw it. Season 2 was just as good.
True Detective [via HBOGo] - There's no chance the second season will catch me off guard the way the first season did, but the cast alone will be enough to make this a priority.
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt [via Netflix] - Probably the least deserving of a lock status on my list, but I predict it will be unleashed on Netflix for season 2. I can't wait!
Veep [via DVR] - The sharpest dialogue of any show on TV. It worries me that Armando Ianucci won't be back for next season. I'm going to believe that the writing staff and cast can nearly keep up the same quality.

Going Down with the Ship
(Shows that I'm only watching because I've watch this long and I'm a completionist)

Community [via Yahoo] - I don't know where to put this. Community should be done after this year's finale, but, like a horror movie villain, I'm not going to believe it's gone until every piece of it is torn apart. I still revere the show. It's time to end...except for a movie, of course.
House of Cards [via Netflix] - I can't stop even though I want to. Season 3 was a step up from a pretty disappointing second season. One of these days I'll have plans around Valentine's Day and will choose to skip House of Cards altogether.

80/20
(Shows that I probably won't stop watching, but I could on a whim)

Archer [via DVR] - I like it. I don't love it. No sense in stopping.
The Big Bang Theory [via DVR] - As long as it's the highest rated comedy on TV, I won't consider abandoning it.
Blackish [via DVR] - It's in a secure time slot on a stable night that I'm not about to shake up.
Daredevil [via Netflix] - The first season exceeded my expectations. Despite the darkness, it's a very fun show.
Fresh Off the Boat [via DVR] - Constance Wu is a revelation. By next year, this could be locked up. With an abbreviated first season, I'm not ready to place it there yet.
Girl Meets World [via DVR] - Nostalgia is a powerful thing. They've found their sweet spot to appease both the young and old millennials. I like it more than I should.
Halt and Catch Fire [via DVR] - The first season improved markedly. I doubt there will be more than this second season. I'm already committed for that much.
Modern Family [via DVR] - I think I've softened to Modern Family. It knows what it is and the problematic relationships in the show (cough Cam and Mitch cough) weren't as bad this year.
Saturday Night Live [via DVR] - Nothing left for me to say about the institution. I like the current cast. That's all I need.
Tosh.0 [via DVR] - It's as much a tradition as anything else and very easy viewing.
The Walking Dead [via DVR] - The most popular show on television. No, I'm not going to stop watching. Besides, it's too interesting to track the ups and down of each season.

One Wrong Move
(Shows that I will gladly drop mid-season if something goes awry)

@ Midnight [via DVR] - This is sort of a cheat. I record each episode and watch based on who's on.
Agent Carter & Agents of SHIELD [via DVR] - I don't think Marvel will let this grow much more than it already has and I'm mostly indifferent by now.
American Ninja Warrior [via DVR] - Technically, my roommate is recording it. I like to watch when I can. I could just as easily forget it exists though.
Arrow [via DVR] - I'm getting superhero overload. Arrow stalled out in season 3. There's a very real possibility I'll switch over to The Flash by next season and never look back.
The Last Man on Earth [via DVR] - It started off so strong and fell a lot. The end of the season promised some changes. Depending on how those work out, I could either be fully back in or completely turned off.
Married [via DVR] - I'm pretty sure I want Judy Greer and Nat Faxon to succeed so much that I keep watching this.
The Mindy Project [via DVR] - The switch to online will make it less convenient and I assume there will be budget cuts that reconfigure the cast again. That's worrisome.
New Girl [via DVR] - I lost its hour-mate (The Mindy Project) and Damon Wayans Jr. It can't afford to start off slowly.
Scorpion [via DVR] - It's always been one episode away from me dropping it. Scorpion is very easy to watch. It would just as easy to forget to watch.

Series Ended/Cancelled
(Shows that have ended and I can't continue even if I wanted to)
I'll start by saying that this was a rough year for beloved shows. I have a few gaping chasms to fill.

A to Z [via DVR] - The clever concept and cute cast couldn't overcome mediocre to bad writing.
The Bridge [via DVR] - I won't miss it even though it was much improved in its second season.
Cougar Town [via DVR] - Oops. I still haven't gotten to the series finale. I really struggled to get to the finish line with this one. It never recovered from the shift to TBS when I look back at it.
The Jinx [via HBOGo] - Technically, it was never going to have a second season. Still, I wanted to mention this docu-series because it was incredibly good.
Looking [via HBOGo] - I wasn't sold on it in the first season but I really grew to like Looking in season 2. I'll miss it.
Mad Men [via DVR] - I had a lot of time to prepare for the end of Mad Men. That didn't make it any easier.
Mulaney [via DVR] - The only show I outright hate-watched. I couldn't believe how little I enjoyed it.
Parenthood [via DVR] - Such a sweet show. I need a Jason Katims TV show on the air at all times.
Parks & Recreation [via DVR] - It had a pretty fantastic epilogue season. It still hasn't hit me that it won't be coming back.
Selfie [via DVR] - You know, it was starting to figure itself out by the time ABC pulled the plug. Too little too late.
Sons of Anarchy [via Netflix] - I didn't watch it live, but I watched it not that long after the finale aired (a couple months). All I can say is that by the time it ended, I welcomed it to finally conclude.

Catch You Later
(Shows that I'm in no hurry to stay current on but eventually will)

Garfunkel & Oates [via Netflix] - I don't have IFC, otherwise, what I saw on Netflix would be enough to follow new episodes.
The League [via Netflix] - If I had FXX, I'd still be keeping up with it new. Sadly, I don't.
Maron [via Netflix] - I'm ok with binging this in a weekend a year late. There's not enough to any single episode normally to be satisfying.
Rectify [via Netflix] - I love this show a lot. I hate not having Sundance Channel because I want to see more now. I'm pretty sure I'm doing it a disservice by binging it instead of experiencing each episode by itself.

Bye Felicia!
(Shows that I've had enough of and doubt I'll ever return to)

The Blacklist [via Netflix] - I watched all of the first season on Netflix in time to catch almost all of the second season if I wanted to. I then opted not to.
The Comedians [via DVR] - I wanted to love this so much. I've seen this show before and better though, be it Curb Your Enthusiasm or any other "inside Hollywood" show or movie.
Gotham [via DVR] - I didn't dislike this. It never got much better than it started and I don't know what show it wants to be, even still.
Lip Sync Battles [via DVR] - I started a DVR series recording. So far, I've watched the Anne Hathaway/Emily Blunt episode and that's it. It's a solid show, but not my tempo.

If I Only Had That Channel
(Some of the shows that would be locks if I had a good way to watch them*)

*There's a certain accessibility threshold that I don't like crossing. I don't like to torrent and I typically can't stand online options with degraded quality or from dubious sources.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia [via DVDs] - I've accepted that I'll buy the seasons on DVD when they are available. Stupid FXX.
You're the Worst [via DVR, when it was available] - I was able to watch the first season and grew to enjoy it. Alas, I don't have FXX and I'm not sure where else I'll be able to find it.
Transgender - I don't know when I'll get a chance to watch this Amazon Prime gem. I fully intend to get to it eventually though.
Shameless - I miss this show so much. Not enough to buy the DVDs, but close.
Dr. Who - I'm ok with catching up before a new season begins. If it was more accessible, I'd certainly keep up.
Orphan Black - Tatiana Maslany is incredible. I've only seen the first season. I'd like to see more.

That's roughly 59 shows when I began. I only knocked it down to 35  with 4 that I'm ready to find on Netflix. That's a huge increase since last year. To be fair, I kind of expanded the parameters. That invalidates any comparison to previous years. It's pretty amazing that with all the great series that ended this year, that there's so much great TV still left.

Delayed Reaction: The Dukes of Hazzard

The Pitch: Gee, Starsky & Hutch was such a success. There must me some other kitschy shows from that era that can be made into a movie.

How I Came Into It: I know of the show from the old TNN* re-runs. It's a unique show that's had a longer life in the cultural consciousness than anyone could've expected because of how distinctive it was. Of the TV shows made into movies, this really wasn't a bad idea. It's not overly specific to a time period, the story is simple enough, and there isn't a face of the franchise.

*You see kids, TNN was a cable network called The Nashville Network that became Spike TV. It isn't missed by many.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Based on all the posters for this, the music video, and pretty much anything I can remember leading up to the movie, I should start with Jessica Simpson. She's attractive, isn't she? Ok. I've got that out of the way. Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville are pretty perfectly cast. Really, everyone in this reads like a checklist of the people you'd say needs to be in this: Burt Reynolds, Willie Nelson, M. C. Gainey, David Koechner. Throw in a couple interchangeable white guys (Joames Roday, Michael Weston) and you have yourself a Dukes of Hazzard cocktail.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Not only do I have no fond memories of the Dukes. I have no feeling for them at all. There's a little fun to be had at making fun of cultural differences between then and now (such as people's reaction to the Confederate flag atop the General Lee), but mostly it's a movie I don't care about.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Jurassic World

Formula: Jurassic Park + The Lost World: Jurassic Park + Jurassic Park III + No lessons learned about hubris

Cast: This is the cast you'd hope for. Bryce Dallas Howard is the closest thing to a POV character. Chris Pratt is the action hero. Ty Simpkins and Nick Robinson are some annoying kids. Jake Johnson and Lauren Lapkus bring the funny. Irfan Khan's the optimistic billionaire. Omar Sy's there too. BD Wong is back. Vincent D'Onofrio is a military man with a stupid plan. Judy Greer is a mom who most cries and not much else.

Plot: Claire (Howard) is operations manager over the decade-old, thriving Jurassic World Resort: reopened after the disaster of Jurassic Park. She has two nephews (Gray and Zach) visiting the resort who she doesn't have much time to see. She's busy dealing with a new exhibit: a new dinosaur, created in a lab under guidelines to make something bigger, fiercer, and cooler (which sounds like the studio notes for this movie). Owen (Pratt) is a Raptor Whisperer trying to shut down a plan of a military man, Hoskins (D'Onofrio) who wants to use the raptors for war. Claire pulls Owen in to investigate the habitat for the new dinosaur, the ominously named Indominus Rex, when all hell breaks loose. You can pretty much guess what happens from there since you've seen Jurassic Park (or any action/disaster movie) before.

Thoughts: It doesn't really matter if the movie is great or if it's wholly derivative. The second I hear that iconic score or when they show the gates or as soon as I see one of the dinosaurs, I'm completely taken over by the nostalgia of it all. Jurassic Park is a special movie in pop culture and Jurassic World leans on that in all the right ways.
Chris Pratt is a movie star through and through. I can't say that Bryce Dallas Howard brings anything unique to her role, although she finds ways to have fun with it as the movie continues. In fact, the biggest drawback I can find for the movie is that the characters are not well rendered. They are sketches of characters who say what they are supposed to in an action movie (My favorite example of this is Howard making an accurate observation about her heels being the wrong shoes for all this, yet she continues to run, climb, and hike in them throughout the movie like it's no problem because that's what women do in action movies). The story makes as much sense as it needs to. I'd pick at it more, but that strikes me as missing the point of it. Most importantly, this gives the audience what it wants. There's big dinosaurs, plenty of spectacle, a couple of scares, room for sequels, and Chris Pratt being a bad ass.
A lot of fuss will be made about this being the second biggest opening weekend ever. That's going to outsize the quality of the movie. This movie is huge because Chris Pratt is huge, because people love dinosaurs, because the 3D release a couple of years ago of Jurassic Park made this feel like a direct sequel rather than a decade late sequel to the underwhelming third movie, because the marketing was on point, because any number of things. The final product is fine. It's not special. Don't expect to be say, a seven year old again, wetting yourself in the theater when the T-Rex attacks...you know, or something.

Elephant in the Room: This resort is run horribly. It's true. There's no way a resort gets this big without way more oversight. Look, I approach a movie like this with the "One big leap" principle. I make one big leap (ex. This is a world where dinosaurs exist) and after than, I need the rest to make sense to the world. It is not in any way believable that a resort this large and potentially dangerous can be this poorly managed. This new dinosaur is created with apparently no one seeming to know anything about it. The scientists don't even have to tell the owner of the park what the dinosaur is made of. I've been to Disney World too many times. No, for a resort to be that popular given how potentially dangerous it is, I don't buy it. Too many leaps for me.

To Sum Things Up (In 57 Words or Less):
More than any of the other sequels, Jurassic World remembers what made the original movie so popular. It's a great summer popcorn movie and doesn't aspire to much more. The characters aren't very memorable but the dinosaurs are. And that's the way it really should be.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Three Kings

The Pitch: A Persian Gulf war movie with a comedic edge.

How I Came Into It: The story of how this movie was made is the most interesting thing about it. Namely, director David O' Russell and star George Clooney were constantly fighting on set, and I don't mean bickering. Russell not getting along with an actor is old-hat by now though (See: Lily Tomlin in I Heart Huckabees). There's also the fact that John Ridley's "story by" credit is due to Russell reading a short description of Ridley's screenplay then writing a completely new script from that. That Wikipedia page is way too interesting.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Russell's movies have great casts and this is no exception. This is the last look at Clooney before he transformed from TV star to king of the universe. Ice Cube gets a rare opportunity to not play the Ice Cube character [in a good movie]. Mark Walhberg too. I spent too much of the movie trying to separate Spike Jonze and Jamie Kennedy's characters in my mind, but that's more on me than anything left unclear in the movie. There's a warped sense of humor to this that I enjoyed.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This is one of those movies, like In Bruges, that people talk up too much. It's a fine movie, but I think it works better as a surprise or at least not with a lot of expectations. I've never been tuned in to David O'Russell's frequency and this is another case where I come away wondering why this is so lauded. It's fine, not fantastic. Familiar, not unoriginal.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Cheaper By The Dozen 2

The Pitch: There's still a dozen kids. This time, summer vacation at a lake. Oh, and add even more characters.

How I Came Into It: Cheaper By the Dozen is an entertaining enough movie. I can imagine there's a number of [currently] 18 year-olds out there who think of it fondly (Kind of like my generation loving something like The Page Master). In the years since it's come out, it's mostly good for seeing which of the kids continued working (Alyson Stoner sure grew up). The movie isn't all that remarkable though. You could give me a plot point from it or Yours, Mine, and Ours and I couldn't tell you which it came from.  So, I didn't go in with high hopes for a sequel.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I only like Steven Martin more. Each time I fill a hole in his filmography, I come away liking him more. I'm not sure what to make of that, but this certainly proves the rule. For such a large cast, I'm surprised how many characters the movie was able to service in under two hours. The tone is the same as the first and the new setting changes things up enough to not feel stale.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: There are 14 Bakers and 10 Murtaughs (Hi, little Taylor Lautner and Jamie King) and 94 minutes. That's a little under 4 minutes per character. As good as the movie was at servicing characters, there was plenty of fat to be trimmed. Anything else I didn't prefer about it can be countered with "It's a family friendly kids movie. What did you expect?".

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Weekly 10: 6/4-6/10

I'm back with another weekly ten: my look back at the last week and  the ten things that most made it memorable in TV, movies, and the occasional other form of media. I'm already realizing that June is a rough time of year to be starting this recurring post. Pretty soon, I'll be scrambling to find ten things. For now, my week is still overflowing. Enjoy.

NBA Finals
I never for a moment though that this would headline my week. The first three games in the series were three of the best I've seen all season, college or professional. Matthew Dellavadova is a guy who's name I now remember how to spell. Do you need any more evidence of how insane this series has been?

Game of Thrones "The Dance of Dragons"
Nothing was going to beat the White Walker battle from last week. The battle at the games was still quite impressive. I've realized that the only thing I don't like about Daenerys and Tyrion being together is that seeing anything else could become a drag. Regardless of whatever happens on Sunday's finale, I got enough big moments to make the season worth-while.

Silicon Valley "Binding Arbitration"
Until about a minute left in the episode, I worried about what was going on. I don't understand what Richard was doing by admitting he used a Hooli computer and the entire arbitration had an odd time to it that didn't work for me. Then the guys falls off the mountain and I laughed and laughed and laughed. What a setup for the finale.

Veep "Testimony"
I know this was a good episode. It was so different from the other episodes though, that it didn't work for me initially. It reminded me of the "Queen of Jordan" episodes of 30 Rock, which took a second or third viewing to appreciate. I expect the same here.

Last Week Tonight
I'm glad that John Oliver followed through on his promise, even though technically his conditions weren't met exactly to get FIFA's president to resign. My only issue is that I more of less like Bud Light (not Lime) and the McDonald's dollar menu.

Girl Meets World "Girl Meets the Tell-Tale-Tot"
I'm not sure what to make of this episode. The "tell tale tot" part was just strange. That Corey would be obsessed by something as random as tater tots wasn't. I don't understand how I'm supposed to feel about Maya and Josh. So...they are meant to be together? How invested am I supposed to be?

Spy
A simple and enjoyable movie. Nothing exceptional about it. Just an effective delivery of an unambitious promise.

Halt and Catch Fire "New Coke"
This is a very scattered show in season 2. I get why that is, but the longer that everyone is apart, the more I feel my interest waning. Gordon on cocaine annoys me.

Boardwalk Empire
I just picked this show up. I doubt I'll be moving through it very quickly. I know they say the seasons always come together at the very end and in a great way, so there's that to look forward to.

Hannibal "Primavera"
I was hoping Abigail was actually alive and that she could be the Rasputin of the series. It makes more sense that she's dead though. This game of cat and mouse with Hannibal and Will continues to be so great. It's amplified by the fact that Will does care at all about not looking crazy around others. I like that they are reintroducing everyone slowly.

Delayed Reaction: Young Guns II

The Pitch: You know, we didn't get to how Billy the Kid died in the first movie...

How I Came Into It: I just saw Young Guns about a week ago. It was fine. Nothing special. When I saw that the original cast didn't return in full, I assumed that would be problematic, indicating a lack of interest by certain actors to return. I didn't consider that it wouldn't make as much sense if everyone survived in the interim between movies, given the nature of their work.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Young Guns II transitioned from the outright ensemble of the first to specifically being the Billy the Kid story. As a result, it could breath a little more. It wasn't as busy making sure everyone got his moment, or rather, there were fewer characters to service. I liked the addition of Christian Slater as Arkansas Dave. Honestly, the fact that this was a sequel of a movie that was already a proven success I think put everyone more at ease this time around.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Billy the Kid is a sociopath and no one seems to recognize that. It gets hard to root for him at times. That old man makeup was ridiculous. I can't pretend otherwise. Without the focus on the group, the movie lost some of its edge. I keep thinking back to the introduction of all the actors at the beginning of the first movie. Nothing in this one tried to be cool like that. This lacked an identity.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Hop

The Pitch: Christmas gets all the love. Where's Easter's movie?

How I Came Into It: My mom always told me that Easter is more important than Christmas. That never sounded right, although I was a young atheist in hiding, so I didn't care about the religious importance of either. As non-religious entities, Christmas dwarfs Easter, so an Easter movie is, well, non-essential.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I really like James Marsden. He's one of those actors who finds something good in even the worst of roles. I also don't mind Russell Brand as much as a lot of people I run into. Even though one half is animated, those two make a fun duo. This employs so many of the things that make Elf good, only for Easter. I get a weird thrill out of movies like this, that work so hard to prove that the thing (The Easter Bunny) is real while making the central joke of it all that we know it's not real. It's perfectly calibrated patronizing.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: No one cares about the Easter bunny. There's some legitimate misdirection involved with the Santa thing. The only reason why kids can't see parents hiding the eggs is so they don't know where they are. I guess it's the nature of family movies to leave no fable unadapted though. Hank Azaria's bird character just annoyed me too much. I don't know if it was the accent or that it brought attention to the fact that the Easter factory was using the chicks, essentially as slave labor, but every time it went back to him, I really didn't want to watch the movie.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Something to Talk About

What I Guessed It Was About: Dennis Quaid and Julia Roberts have a meet-cute, then get together, and become...something to talke about.

How I Came Into It: Julia Roberts isn't my go to RomCom lead (that would be Sandra Bullock, of course). You can immediately tell that it's a RomCom from the poster, but the title doesn't give a good indication about the story contents. That means I was a blank slate, because I'm not about to research a movie like this beforehand.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This did not go in the direction I expected a couple different times. Good on them for not being predictable. I didn't expect Quaid to be cheating. I didn't expect people around her to be so forgiving of him (except Kyra Sedgewick, that is). I didn't expect the movie to end without some grand gesture and reconciliation. Oh yeah, and this is the most I've liked Sedgewick in anything before Brooklyn Nine Nine, which has to count for something.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It's tweaked the formula a bit, but it's still a pretty standard RomCom. The small southern town aspect bored me pretty quickly and it got a little busy with the sideplots (I just don't care about Robert Duvall being too old for a riding competition). All the sideplot are there though because the central story doesn't have enough to it. I think I'd rather see the version of this that looks more like Grand Canyon, a true ensemble piece with a large variety of small stories about a small town.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend