Why I Saw This: I'm not about to skip a week and I felt like a new release, not one that's been out a while. After that, it was a question of what the next showtime was. That's how I got here.
Cast: Jeremy Renner is fine in his own right. He's not very good in this but I don't blame him. I haven't seen Gemma Arterton in anything I've loved so I don't know what to think of her. Renner is a tough guy and Arterton is hot and able to kick ass. However, there is absolutely no way that I buy the kids they show at the beginning becoming those two. The actors are 15 years apart and there's know way the characters are ever half that. Famke Janssen is the only other person of note and I generally like her. She makes me think longingly of Charlize Theron in Snow White and the Huntsman.
Plot: I was reminded a lot of The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard while I watched this. Journeyman hired guns taking in just another job and it escalates into something far bigger. There's a few differences though. For example, I don't believe for a second that H&G have been successful witch hunters for years. They are inefficient and getting their asses handed to them consistently. More important is that the mythology to it is horrendously developed. Honestly though, I can't even begin to piece apart how badly the story is to this.
Elephant in the Room: So, is it a comedy? The million dollar question. Will Ferrell's Gary Sanchez Productions were involved in this. The title alone practically screams "comedy". The full trailers for this seemed coy about the whole thing. The truth is, the joke is the concept and that's it. They played this completely straight. It was completely over the top but it never fully embraces what it is. There is violence, but not an extreme amount. There is profanity, but it feels obligatory. There is sexuality, but they try to make it tasteful. The one thing there wasn't was a single moment that even seemed designed for a laugh. I almost have think they were building a certain kind of movie then backed out at the last second and decided it could work as a straight-up action movie.
To Sum Things Up:
This is the early frontrunner for worst movie I'll see in 2013. I can't even hate-watch this because it was sloppy, lazy, and completely misguided without being gloriously so inept that it partly redeems itself. There's a way to do this kind of movie. I am absolutely certain of that. I'm not saying I know how. All I can say is that this movie isn't it. Simply put, don't see it. I can't imagine how it would be worth it.
Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend
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