The Emmy B-Team: Comedy Series

The Emmys are less than a month away. As always, I'm in the process of spending way too much time thinking about the awards, only to then complain about how they are meaningless, before they even pick the wong winner because the voting process is so fundamentally flawed. In the past, I've worked on projects that involved looking back on prior ceremonies and picking at them (most notably, my list of snubs from 2012). There's plenty of fun in doing that, but this year, I decided to go after the nominations for the 2014 ceremonies.
Every year there are "snubs" when the nominations are announced. Given the dozens of channels with original programming (not to mention the websites), there's always going to be names, shows, episodes, ect. that are overlooked, some justly, some ignorantly, some predictably. The gut reaction is to go on about how the system is broken and offer up a host of ways to improve it. I stopped myself from writing a post about exactly that after some of my favorites were ignored yet again.
Instead, I decided to look into how badly the Emmy voters did botch the picks in the form of an alternate ballot with all the snubs. My thought: if I can make a stonger ballot than the actual one, then I can finally convince myself that there's no value in the Emmys. I'm calling this the Emmy B-Team for a reason though. The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences do a better job than I give them credit for.
One final note: In some categories, I still couldn't fit all the deserving nominees so I approximated as best as I could, and I haven't seen everything, so I'm certain I missed some great ones.

Ok, the B-Team hasn't won a single time by my subjective metric. That makes this a pretty pointless and boring exercise. I think the final two days of this will be a lot more fun. I know comedies and dramas pretty well. Most of these categories have a list a dozen long of worthy nominees. Combine that with some dumb choices by the Emmy votes and there's bound to be an upset or two.

Monday: Reality & the Scruff
Tuesday: Variety Series & Special
Wednesday: Mini-Series and TV Movie

Comedy Series

A-Team
The Big Bang Theory
Louie
Modern Family
OitNB
Silicon Valley
Veep
B-Team
Brooklyn Nine Nine
Community
Girls
Parks & Rec.
Review
Shameless
Well, this is tough. The freshman class of Orange is the New Black and Silicon Valley beat Review and Brooklyn Nine Nine. It's hard to compare them but Veep and Shameless are coming off what's commonly accepted as their best seasons. Community and Louie's experimentation took some hits. Girls and Parks & Rec. are aging more gracefully than Modern Family and The Big Bang Theory.
Winner: A-Team, only because I couldn't take a best comedy discussion seriously that didn't include Orange, Louie, and Veep. As much as I love the B-Teamers, I couldn't say that about any of them this year.

Lead Actor - Comedy

A-Team
The Big Bang Theory - Jim Parsons
Derek - Ricky Gervais
Episodes - Matt Le Blanc
House of Lies - Don Cheadle
Louie - Louis CK
Shameless - William H. Macy
B-Team
Review - Andy Daly
Looking - Jonathan Groff
Community - Joel McHale
Chtis Meloni - Surviving Jack
Silicon Valley - Thomas Middleditch
Brooklyn Nine Nine - Andy Samberg
The Lead Actor field is pretty sad. Just about everyone is interchangeable except for Jim Parsons, Louis CK, and Andy Daly. Still, I'm not impressed with any of the Showtime guys as leads.
Winner: B-Team. Yeah. Take out Parson and CK and the A-Team is pretty damn weak. The combined consistency of the B-Team seals it.

Lead Actress - Comedy

A-Team
Girls  - Lena Dunham
Mike & Molly - Melissa McCarthy
Nurse Jackie - Edie Falco
Orange is the New Black - Taylor Schilling
Parks & Rec. - Amy Poehler
Veep - Julia Louis-Dreyfus
B-Team
Trophy Wife - Malin Akerman
New Girl - Zooey Deschanel
Mom - Anna Faris
Broad City - Ilana Glazer or Abbi Jacobson
The Mindy Project - Mindy Kaling
Shameless - Emmy Rossum
There is NO excuse for Emmy Rossum to still not have at least one nomination. It would be nice to see Mindy Kaling get a little love too. I've heard good things about Broad City, but I think they have the Key & Peele problem of cancelling one another out.
Winner: A-Team. You don't pick against the group with Dunham, Poehler, and Louis-Dreyfus.

Sup. Actor - Comedy

A-Team
Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Andre Braugher
Girls - Adam Driver
Modern Family - Jesse Tyler Ferguson
Modern Family - Ty Burrell
Portlandia - Fred Armisen
Veep - Tony Hale
B-Team
Saturday Night Live - Taran Killam
New Girl - Lamorne Morris
Parks & Rec. - Nick Offerman
Community - Danny Pudi
Shameless - Jeremy Allen White
Silicon Valley - Christopher Evan Welch
Jebidiah Atkinson alone should've given Taran Killam a nomination, so I'd say that neutralizes Fred Armisen. Larmorne Morris brought "being game for anything as long as it's funny" to an art form this season in a way that Ty Burrell normally does in Modern Family. As good as Adam Driver is on Girls, Jeremy Allen White has been equally good on Shameless. Tony Hale is great but didn't get the standout moments on his HBO show that Christopher Evan Welch (RIP) on his. Danny Pudi got the spotlight even more without Donald Glover around, whereas Jesse Tyler Ferguson normally got lost in the shuffle, despite his season-long wedding arc. Andre Braugher should win on Emmy night and I'm still going with Nick Offerman over him. Ron Swanson is an all-time great character. Plain and simple.
Winner: B-Team, and pretty easily.

Sup. Actress - Comedy

A-Team
The Big Bang Theory - Mayim Bialik
Modern Family - Julie Bowen
Mom - Alison Janney
Orange is the New Black - Kate Mulgrew
Saturday Night Live - Kate McKinnon
Veep - Anna Chlumsky
B-Team
Brooklyn Nine Nine - Stephanie Beatriz
Orange is the New Black - Danielle Brooks
Portlandia - Carrie Brownstein
Girls - Zosia Mamet
How I Met Your Mother - Cristin Milioti
Saturday Night Live - Cecily Strong
Sorry, but I think they picked the wrong SNL woman to nominate. McKinnon is great. Strong, while also working Weekend Update, was better. I could take either Kate Mulgrew or Danielle Brooks from Orange is the New Black. Zosia Mamet was a better scene-stealer than Mayim Bialik, but Bialik got way more screen time. As far as wives go, the criminally underused Cristin Milioti had a far better season than Julie Bowen. Stephanie Beatriz and Anna Chlumsky were both often my favorite parts of there respective shows. That leaves Carrie Brownstein and Alison Janney. Based of Emmy pedigree and, more importantly, critical response, I'll go ahead and say that Janney takes that matchup.
Winner: A-Team. If Mamet and Milioti got more to do, this would be a different story.

Guest Actor - Comedy

A-Team
The Big Bang Theory - Bob Newhart
Modern Family - Nathan Lane
Portlandia - Steve Buscemi
Saturday Night Live - Jimmy Fallon
Saturday Night Live - Louis CK
Veep - Gary Cole
B-Team
Community - Jonathan Banks
Louie - Charles Grodin
Big Bang Theory - James Earl Jones
Community - John Oliver
Orange is the New Black - Pablo Schreiber
New Girl - Damon Wayans Jr.
Other than Gary Cole, the A-Team is filled with true guest performances (one or two episodes).  Banks, Schreiber, and Wayans are essentially regulars on their shows. Grodin and Oliver got a lot of use on their shows. Jones was simply fantastic in his one episode.
Winner: B-Team. Quality and quantity are on its side.

Guest Actress - Comedy

A-Team
Orange is the New Black - Natasha Lyonne
Orange is the New Black - Uzo Aduba
Orange is the New Black - Laverne Cox
Saturday Night Live - Tina Fey
Saturday Night Live - Melissa McCarthy
Shameless - Joan Cusack
B-Team
Louie - Sarah Baker
Louie - Eszter Balint
Louie - Ellen Burstyn
Girls - Gaby Hoffman
Orange is the New Black - Taryn Manning
Girls - June Sqibb
I refuse to speak ill of McCarthy and Fey. The Orange women and Cusack are all essentially regulars. Except for Manning, the B-Team is a bunch of knock-out one, two, or three-off performances.
Winner: A-Team. Orange rigged it.

Writing - Comedy

A-Team
Episodes - Episode 305
Louie - So Did the Fat Lady
Orange is the New Black - I Wasn't Ready (Pilot)
Silicon Valley - Optimal Tip-to-Tip Efficiency
Veep - Special Relationship
B-Team
Brooklyn Nine Nine - Tactical Village
Community - Cooperative Polygraphic
Girls - Beach House
Parks & Rec - Moving Up
Shameless - There's the Rub
The tough part with writing is that each writing combination is only allowed one episode. That means Orange and Louie only have two episodes eligible each and their non-nominated episodes were not at the same level. There's still way more than ten deserving episodes, so you could make a strong case for a C team. Brooklyn Nine Nine and Community should get some writing attention. Girls has no reason to drop out of the nominations. Shameless has always been ignored (I'd say they think it's an actor's showcase, but the actors are ignored too. The only omission I can't defend is the Parks & Rec. finale not being nominated since that is one of the strongest episodes of that show to date. Otherwise, Veep and Louie have to be nominated. Orange is going to be here by default. Silicon Valley's best episode is represented. Even with the random Episodes episode in there, this is an easy pick.
Winner: A-Team, despite impressive B-team depth.

Directing  - Comedy

A-Team
Episodes - Episode 309
Glee - 100
Louie - Elevator Part 6
Modern Family - Vegas
Orange is the New Black - Lesbian Request Denied
Silicon Valley - Minimum Viable Product
B-Team
Brooklyn Nine Nine - Broken Feather
Gilrs - Flo
Orange is the New Black - Moscow Mule
Parks & Rec - Moving Up
Shameless - Ther's the Rub
Veep - Clovis
I'm going to have to remember the difference between writing an directing here, because "Vegas" had terrific direction but the writing left a lot to be desired. Let's work through this though. "Flo" and "Elevator Part 6" are roughly equal, although the Louie episode is much flashier. I'd give "Clovis" the edge over "Minimum Viable Product" simply because it did more with an unfamiliar location. The Orange episodes on both teams are roughly the same level. You can't convince me Episodes' "Episode 309" does anything better than its Showtime brethren Shameless' "There's the Rub". I'll accept that "Vegas" has a big advantage over "Broken Feather". I'm sure Glee's "100" was showy, but Parks & Rec's "Moving Up" did so much and so much well with its hour.
Winner: B-Team, rather convincingly.

Casting - Comedy

A-Team
Louie
Modern Family
Nurse Jackie
Orange is the New Black
Veep
B-Team
Brooklyn Nine Nine
Girls
How I Met Your Mother
The Mindy Project
Silicon Valley
I don't fully understand this category. For example, do cast regulars count toward this or is it just casting done within episodes for the season? Regardless, Louie and Orange are the gold standard for casting right now as far as I'm concerned (Louie for guest stars, Orange for the ensemble). How I Met Your Mother gets massive points for Cristin Milioti. The Mindy Project gets a healthy rotation of guests actors to show up. Brooklyn Nine Nine and Silicon Valley break in with terrific ensembles. Girls does a great job with a deep bench of recurring characters. But...actually, fuck it. A-team has my top two and Veep is potentially the third. I can't speak about Nurse Jackie, but Modern Family had horrific casting this year. Remember when Jesse Eisenberg showed up? What did that add? Then there's Stephen Merchant doing his best Tim Roth impression from Four Rooms. Every time Nathan Lane is brought in by now he's more annoying than the time before.
Winner: B-Team. It's more consistent and Modern Family drags the A-Team down by misusing its top talent guests.

Finally, it happened. Not only does the B-Team get a couple wins, it gets a draw for the day against the A-Team. This is, of course, a subjective exercise and comedy is what I watch more than anything. It shouldn't be a surprise that my tastes differ from the Emmys, since I see a greater depth of shows than most of the voters. Still, I'm calling even a draw a coup, so maybe the Emmys weren't even so bad here. Switch out their ridiculous love of Episodes and Modern Family for Shameless and Parks and Rec and there's barely any snubs even.