Delayed Reaction: The Hurricane

What I Guessed It Was About: I know the Bob Dylan song pretty well, so I think I know the story of the Hurricane.

How I Came Into It: I really love the Bob Dylan song. That is the extent of my knowledge of the man though. I thought I heard something about this movie inspiring Will Smith to make sure her got the Ali role or something like that. I know this was a very coveted role at the time. I wondered why I've never heard of the movie before looking it up for this project of mine. Was it bad? Was it forgettable? Is this one of those freak movies that for whatever the reason simply escaped my awareness for years? Have I really been inadvertently avoiding all Denzel Washington movies?

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This gets into the question of what makes a good biopic. Denzel Washington is great as Rubin Carter. As a movie character, he is a specific presence. He is wise and he is ruined. The relationship that he develops with Lesra and the Canadians is the beating heart of the movie. I appreciate how much the film leans into playing the Bob Dylan song. I know it so well, that any time they talked about the crime, I hear the line relating to the event in the song. Without the song, you could easily halve my enjoyment of the movie.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: If doing right by the person the biopic is about makes a good biopic, then this is a great one. If sticking to the facts is important to you, this leaves a lot to be desired. There's a very slanted view to this that I had trouble with. I don't need the movie to be completely true, but I do need it to be honest. Be it the fight at the beginning going to the other guy or the level to which the police conspire to put Rubin Carter in jail, the world is out to get him. Frankly, I don't buy it. I think he's innocent. That doesn't mean I have to think he's superhuman. Oh, and this drags in the second act badly. I did like the movie though.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

What I Guessed It Was About: Alvin and the others get lost on a remote island. They sing a lot, mostly songs I don't care for, and things turn out alright in the end.

How I Came Into It: I do and I don't understand why the Chipmunk movies are such hits. The chipmunks are oddly beloved characters and people can't get enough of that infectious singing. Then again, the movies aren't very good, despite actors like David Cross putting on their "please give me my paycheck" smiles. With no new characters from the universe to add, Chipwrecked is the first litmus test of how the series will look at status quo.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) It's nice to see Jenny Slate getting a good payday. Even better was that she wasn't there to be a love interest. She was just a loon.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: The chipmunks annoy me. I'm sorry. That's how it is. The whole hidden treasure sideplot was one story too many. Mostly though, it annoys me to listen to the chipmunk voices.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Friday

What I Guessed It Was About: Based on Barbershop, this is the story of Ice Cube on a Friday, going through assorted adventures in his urban neighborhood. Chris Tucker says funny things.

How I Came Into It: The year was 2008. I was working at a Target in Bloomington, IN, covering in the Electronics section one day when a guy comes up to me and asks if we had two movies. The guy was Eric Gordon, star freshman for the IU Basketball team. The movies were Dumb & Dumber and Friday. So, I looked them up. Dumb & Dumber we carried, but were sold out of. Friday, we didn't even carry at all. A month later, IU loses in the opening round of the NCAA tournament and 90% of the players leave the team. Coincidence? I think not.

Why I Saw It: Did you know that "Bye, Felecia" came from this movie? I didn't and that was thrilling. The rest of the movie was fine too.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I need to stop watching movies on Bounce. First of all, there's no made for TV cuts of the movies they're showing, so these movie goes silent every time Chris Tucker tells a story or Ice Cube gets angry. I liked this movie better when it was called Boyz n the Hood and it wasn't a comedy and Ice Cube had a Jheri curl.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Weekly 10: 8/21-8/27

This was a big week for watching movies until I got a free month of Showtime. You may notice that free month reflected in my shows over the next few weeks.

Girl Meets World "Girl Meets Creativity"
One of the funniest things about Girl Meets World is when they take up a cause. It's good that the show has things like this on its mind. They just do it so ham-handed that I can't take the central point seriously. The episode was funny enough otherwise. They are maintaining the one for us, one for them principle, which is all I ask.

Lock Up
Have you ever wondered what The Shawshank Redemption would look like as a bad movie?

Ask Me Anything
I'm becoming more of a Britt Robertson fan. This was a wholly forgettable indie movie until the last couple minutes. I'm still debating on if that should be able to salvage an entire movie, especially when the twist undermines everything that came before it.

Stand By Me
Well, this was a simply delightful movie. I'm not sure how I'd never seen it before. And I don't mean "I'd seen bits but not the whole thing". I hadn't seen this at all. I think that means my parents failed me growing up.

American Ultra
In a stoner movie, the fact that there is pot shouldn't be the entirety of the humor.

Shameless Season 4
I loved the first three seasons, but not enough to justify continuing a Showtime subscription. A friend power-binging the series convinced me to hunt it down. I found season 4 and devoured it in about a day. Now I'm looking for season 5.

The Wire Season 5
The is a great ending! I forgot how much I don't like long stretches of season 5 (Anything with McNulty faking the serial killer, for example). The ending is wholly satisfying though. Very happy that I decided to rewatch it.

Show Me a Hero Episodes 3 & 4
I made the mistake of looking up the Wikipedia page for this. So, now I know what it's leading up to. It's not that surprising really. I'm enjoying the escalation and transformation of this housing issue. The groundwork has been laid. I have high hopes for the conclusion this Sunday.

Public Morals "A Fine Line"
There's more than a decent chance that I'm only watching this show for Katrina Bowden and Lyndon Smith. The pilot has an odd tone. It has a TV-MA rating. Enough scenes feature moments to make that deserved (violence, showing some skin, language), but the overall tone of the show could easily be TV-14 or below. It's like it thinks it's on FX and in reality, very much belongs on TNT. I'll keep watching for now, because things are slow, and, as I said, Bowden and Smith.

Red Heat
The big mistake of this is the decision to take out all of the fun of Schwarzenegger's performance and think that Jim Belushi could make up for it.

Delayed Reaction: Underworld

What I Guessed It Was About: Kate Beckinsale is a vampire. She fights werewolfs, because of course she's going to fight werewolves. They never get along in anything for some reason*. Eventually, she wins [the war/battle/skirmish, I guess], but not wins so effectively that there's no room for a sequel.

*Scratch that. They were on good terms in Hotel Transylvania. That came a decade later though, so I don't think it counts.

How I Came Into It: I've always thought of Underworld as "those movies where Kate Beckinsale is a sexy, badass vampire". That's all I really needed.

Why I Saw It: This has a cool look to it. It's different enough from something like Blade without being unrecognizable to the genre. I most appreciated that it was played in earnest the whole time. There's no winking at the camera. This is a serious world with a serious war between the vampires and lychans. That's getting harder to find these days.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I didn't care about the story. Vampires and lychans bore me. The characters weren't particularly engaging, despite being played by people like Michael Sheen and Bill Nighy who are normally overflowing with charisma. I can easily believe that this is one of those movies that needs to be seen on a big screen, in a theater, or as part of some other immersive experience to fully appreciate.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Mad Max

What I Guessed It Was About: Max is a dude. Things make him mad. People are wearing a lot of leather and dominatrix clothing. It's hot outside. People are wearing leather. Max is mad. I wonder if wearing all that leather in the sun is what makes Max mad.

How I Came Into It: I've missed my opportunity to see this series for a while. I knew Mad Max would be worth watching although I had warnings that it was pretty slow. I was coming off such a Fury Road high though that it could've been nothing more than a still frame picture of a pineapple and I'd've given it 90 minutes.

<<Full Disclosure: I watched this in a very distracted setting.>>

Why I Saw It: Knowing what follows, it's hard to appreciate what is done well in this. It isn't the action assault the other movies are and that's ok. It's a slow build to get to what finally breaks Max (It turns out, the dude has a high threshold). Once it does get going, you see what George Miller can do with the stunts and cars. Especially considering the shoestring budget, this is quite an accomplishment.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This is like eating a salad before getting to the main course. I like salads. It's filling and some parts are especially tasty. It's not the steak* though. I was about to watch the full trilogy and this was getting between me and The Road Warrior. I'd like to see this again, prepared for the pace of it, so I can appreciate the smaller beats.

*Personally, it would be chicken or maybe pork. I'm not a big fan of steak. I think it's overrated.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: American Ultra

Formula: (Pineapple Express + The Bourne Identity) / Natural Born Killers

Why I Saw It: It's a thin market right now and this sounded like a funny concept.
Cast: It's the reunion of Adventureland stars Jesse Eisenberg and Kirsten Stewart. Other prominent actors include Connie Britton, Topher Grace, Walton Goggins, John Leguizamo, and Tony Hale.

Plot: Mike (Eisenberg) is a stoner who works for a convenient store and lives in a small town in West Virginia with his girlfriend Phoebe (Stewart). He's also a sleeper agent for the government whose mind has been wiped. A CIA agent/director (Grace) decides that Mike is too dangerous of a loose end to keep around and decides to take Mike out. Agent Lasseter (Britton), the agent who trained Mike, wants to stop this and activates Mike's skills, making him better equipped to survive the waves of shit the government throws at him.

Thoughts:
This is a funny idea for a movie. The pitch meeting must've been a breeze. It's high concept with a lot of room to have fun. There are several moments in the movie that utilize this well, especially when Mike first discovers his powers.
Eisenberg and Stewart are pretty excellently cast in one respect. They both play convincing stoners to star with. Eisenberg milks a lot of scenes by playing up his neuroses. Pretty much as soon as he unconsciously does any spy moves, his response to that is entertaining. Stewart plays her character more honestly than the movie requires. This can be a very unhinged movie at times and she tries to play it all like it's really happening. This grounds things well.
Grace is clearly enjoying himself. The script doesn't require any nuance from him and he's happy to oblige. I love Britton, but I'll admit that she felt a little out of place. She didn't seem to know how she needed to play her character. Should she be more heroic? Should her character be more bogged down by bureaucratic middle-management? Should she be an ace at beating the system? I was never sure. Walton Goggins got exactly one direction for his entire character and he committed to it.
Ultimately, my problem with the movie is the direction, and it's a big problem. The movie does an awful job convincing me that Eisenberg is Jason Bourne. Eisenberg should be much more sleek and unconscious. His movements should be efficient as hell when his training takes over. That's how he's presented and there's a couple stray moments of that. Mostly though, it's him flailing about even in spy mode. Everything is chaotic, including him. He shouldn't rely that much on hoping that the bad guys have bad aim. Now, if the movie is "random guy finds himself in the middle of a war with the CIA" then that's entirely fine. This is "random guy finds out that he's a highly skilled agent" though, which requires selling him as a weapon. The movie never comes close to that.
It's never a good sign when the most lively part of a movie is during the end credits and that's certainly the case here. the end credits are my favorite part. All I'll say is that much like The Man From UNCLE last week, it serves as a pseudo-sequel the this movie and it's loony and funny: pretty much, it's plays like the movie they were trying to make for the previous 90 minutes.

Elephant in the Room: You just hate Nima Nourizadeh. It's true, I hated Nourizadeh's only other directed feature Project X about as much as I've hated anything since I started doing these reactions. He looks like an obvious target for me. I have no inherent ill-will toward his work though. I wanted American Ultra to be good. It wasn't. It's hard for me to blame the script because most of what needs to be there is there: the jokes, the beats, the characters. I can't blame the acting because any time it's the actors on screen, they are convincingly playing their characters. It's how the movie was shot that took the fun out if it. Sadly, that's Nourizadeh as far as I can tell.

To Sum Things Up:
Some fine performances and an interesting premise try to make up for poor execution overall. It's never wholly unenjoyable but it's certainly a missed opportunity. Jesse Eisenberg or Kristen Stewart fans should find enough to like about it though.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Princess Mononoke

What I Guessed It Was About: After seeing Spirited Away, I know better than to guess with Miyazaki.

How I Came Into It: I've only seen Spirited Away among Miyazaki's work and, to paraphrase a friend, "I like it, although I'm not sure why". I kind of expected the same from this.

Why I Saw It: And, that sums up my thoughts on this movie too. I liked it. I'm not completely sure why. The characters were pretty good (I spent a little too much time playing "Guess whose voice that is") and the story is engaging. I liked all the women kind of hating all the men in the village. It looked great and the action was well done.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I'm not sure how much of it I followed. I get the sense that a lot of things are more deeply tied to Japanese culture that I don't know about, I don't say this as a knock on the movie. It did take me out of things a couple times. I get the feeling that Miyazaki movies are the kind of thing where the more of his movies I watch, the more I'll appreciate each of the movies overall. For example, I'd call this a three star movie, but watching this for some reason bumped Spirited Away up to a four star.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Hannah Montana: The Movie

What I Guessed It Was About: Miley goes back home and has to decide if she wants to continue being Hannah Montana. Somehow, "The Climb" makes everything better.

How I Came Into It: I've seen more episodes of Hannah Montana than I should admit to. It and she became so big that I had to know what it was about. It turns out, that I don't get what the big deal was. I guess that 'tweens just like music. Having seen past shows get a movie (most notably Lizzie Maguire and the theatrically released High School Musical 3), I had an idea what I was getting...and that didn't excite me.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) It's a 90 minute TV show. It has the exact feel of an episode, only larger, better casting (Hello, Margo Martindale), and better financed. "The Climb" is a pretty good song too.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: As a non-fan of the show, it's hard to say anything that sounds fair about this. It's not a plausible movie (I'm supposed to believe an entire venue of people will keep Miley's secret?) and you can see every beat of the story coming from the moment the movie begins. It's exactly what it's supposed to be though: a not so good movie that young kids can enjoy.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Weekly 10: 8/14-8/20

Another week of a lot of movies. I can't wait for a month from now when the amount of good shows on justifies this weekly post.

The Wire Season 4
There's not much left to say about this series that hasn't been said already. I think I'm the most impressed by the management of resources. They can sideline a Dominic West for an entire season, move someone like Jim True-Frost, who was not used as a major character in the first three years to the forefront, and have one of the all-time great seasons of TV. I can't think of another show that would think to do that.

Primer
I finally decided to give this one a try. At first, I wasn't sure what all the fuss was about...and then I did. Wow. My brain is still trying to parse out the timelines by the end.

Girl Meets World "Girl Meets Semi-Formal"
Returned from last week:
1) Farkle's still dressing cooler.
2) The Maya/Lucas 'shipping, and I'm oddly not bothered by it so far.
Returned from Boy Meets World:
1) Jack.
2) "Underpants!"
3) "RA-CHEL!!!"
Returning in future episodes, I hope:
1) Maya talking like an old-timey reporter.

The Man From UNCLE
It's August. I don't expect much from movies. As long as it's charming and funny, I'm happy to see it.

Man on Wire
Another movie I finally got around to watching. Just seeing still shots of the guy walking over the World Trade Center on a wire was enough to unsettle me. I have no idea how I will handle see The Walk with Joseph Gordon Levitt in IMAX later this year.

Hannibal "...And the Beast from the Sea"
At first, I was bothered that the Red Dragon wasn't getting a whole season. I'm realizing that it works better in fewer episodes. More than what they're doing would be too drawn out.

Take This Waltz
I watched this a while back and it gnawed at me for a while. I finally got around to seeing it again. That's a rough movie. I especially feel bad for Seth Rogen's character, but Michelle Williams too, and even Sarah Silverman. It's a really good movie.

Show Me a Hero Episodes 1 & 2
People in Yonkers really didn't want public housing in their city. I was warned not to look it up on Wikipedia, but I really want to know what goes down with this, even if it's nothing.

The Jim Gaffigan Show "Go Shorty, It's Your Birthday"
I'm loving this recurring Macaulay Culkin joke.

Sixth Man
I'm not totally sure why I watched this documentary about UK basketball fans. It wasn't that great. I must really be ready for basketball season to start back up.

Delayed Reaction: Heaven is Real

What I Guessed It Was About: A skeptic's son has a near-death experience, sees heaven, and slowly makes a believer out of his father and the small town they're certain to live in.

How I Came Into It: The title is the mission statement, so there's not much to guess about this. I won't pretend that I'm the target audience for this. I was curious why this, over all the other faith-based movies is the one that did so well. It's worth seeing the movie to figure that out.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) As far as I can tell, the thing that sets the movie apart is Oscar Nominee Greg Kinnear. He's the best thing in the movie by far. It's really not all that long either. I've said it before. I appreciate a movie that can say what it needs to say in 90 minutes.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I'll go ahead and ignore that the plot is overly saccharine and the "evidence" that heaven is real is a pretty weak coincidence (Oh, and white Jesus was a good touch). No, what I'd like to focus on is that it's amazing how cheap this movie is. There's clearly money to be made in the faith & spirituality market if a movie that looks this much like a Hallmark movie can make $90 million in the box office. How much longer before someone sinks $50 million to make Left Behind semi-properly or something. I'm not rooting for this, but it's strange that no one's taken that chance yet.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Behind Enemy Lines

What I Guessed It Was About: Owen Wilson is caught, well, behind enemy lines, and has to get himself to safety.

How I Came Into It: I spent a long time thinking I'd seen this one before. The more I thought about it, I'd only seen parts. Still, that meant I knew what I was getting into.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This is well done on a technical level. Everything looks authentic and all the action shots are well done. Owen Wilson is an interesting choice for the lead (Has he led any other action movies? The Shanghai Series is as close to it as I can think of). Gene Hackman is comfortable as the admiral as well.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: There's no emotion to this movie. It is so forgettable. I didn't connect with Wilson's character much, and with it primarily being him by himself or with name-less extras, there's not a lot to keep me going. The movie is so afraid of being anything other than a Hollywood movie in all the worst ways. Wilson is so filled with potential. It's his last mission. They even force there to be a boss battle at the end. Let's remember, this was the same year as Black Hawk Down. Why watch this?

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Hope Floats

What I Guessed It Was About: Sandra Bullock starts dating Harry Connick Jr. And...uh...it's not a very helpful title for making guesses.

How I Came Into It: This is one of the last Sandra Bullock RomComs I have left. By now, I know the kind of beats to expect. I like Bullock in this phase of her career though. As the above section suggests, I knew very little about this particular movie going in. It wasn't going to take much for me to like it.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I need to get this out of the way first. Mae Whitman is way more prolific than I ever imagined. She was never a top billed child actor, so I never noticed how ubiquitous she was (When a Man Loves a Woman, ID4, Hope Floats, etc.). She was a great child actress. The beginning of the movie is perfectly 90's and I love the recurring joke of everyone in town telling Bullock's character that they saw her on TV, like that was something she wanted to know. RomComs needs more dark humor like that.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I promise you, it will be hard as hell to keep this separate from Something to Talk About over time in my head. In general, it's a lesser Bullock RomCom. I'm not sure how much I bought Bullock being a bitch in high school. With the movie beginning as it does, she starts off too sympathetic and I didn't get enough flashes of who she was in high school to buy how much her old classmates didn't like her.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: The Man from UNCLE

Formula: Sherlock Holmes + 60 years

Why I Saw It: I like Guy Richie movies and Straight Outta Compton wasn't playing at my local theater.

Cast: At the top are Henry Cavill (Man of Steel), Armie Hammer (The Lone Range), and Alicia Vikander (Ex Machina). The supporting cast includes Elizabeth Debicki, Hugh Grant, Jarred Harris, and some other names I don't recognize who don't make enough of an impression to point out.

Plot: Solo (Cavill) is a CIA agent tasked to protect Gaby (Vikander), a mechanic with some familial ties to the construction of a nuclear missile. Illya (Hammer) is a KGB agent they reluctantly team up with. You see, it's the 60's, Cold War era, so that's not a sturdy alliance. The two men don't particularly like each other and Gaby isn't helping. Then there's Victoria, a rich woman who wants to blow up the world, or rule the world, or maybe just make a lot of money by selling the missile (I wasn't sure about her motivation).

Thoughts:
I like this genre and this specific shade especially. It's a light movie that uses all the conventions of spy movies in an entertaining way. Nothing about this is new. In fact, it borrows the setting from Spy, the tone from Kingsman, and the dynamic from Focus (maybe? I can't quite narrow that last one down).
It works because I like the characters and the plot isn't intrusive. Henry Cavill is enjoying himself greatly. He's the Jack Sparrow to Hammer and Vikander's Will and Elizabeth. Every time I think of Cavill in the movie, my brain goes to Matt Bomer in White Collar. That tells you everything you need to know about him. Hammer gets more mileage than I expected out of a role that on paper is little more than "do a Russian spy impression". His attempt to remain composed the whole time works well with Cavill and Vikander, who are both determined to make him as uncomfortable as possible. Vikander's character is the least fleshed out initially. There is a reason for that which I'll let the movie explain.
One of my favorite things about this is that it's not a love triangle between the three leads. Solo is doing his thing. Gaby and Illya have an attraction, although a lot of it is a game of Gaby's. The script works hard to make the three equals. They all have their strengths and weaknesses. No one is the lone hero.
With Guy Richie movies, I'm familiar to the point that when I watch one, I can say "Guy Richie directed this" but I can't tell you what gives it away. So, I'll put it like this. If you enjoy his movies, you'll enjoy this too.
It didn't sell me on the movie in any special way, but I enjoyed the end credits. It fleshes out the background of nearly every character in a way that wants me to see the movie again. It also shows a hypothetical next mission, like getting a sequel in case there isn't one.

Elephant in the Room: Really, another spy movie? This is the third comedic homage to 007 this year by my count (Kingsman, Spy, The Man from UNCLE) with a James Bond movie still on its way later this year. That's perhaps too much for some. Not for me. Each of them have been different enough to keep my interest. The period settings is the main selling point for this one.

To Sum Things Up (in 57 Words or Less):
A light, bright, retro spy movie. The leads are enjoyable to be around and the plot mostly stays out of the way of the fun. A nice soundtrack too.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar

What I Guessed It Was About: Three drag queens go on a road trip and clash with locals along the way.

How I Came Into It: I spent years confusing this with The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, which I think is totally forgivable. More than anything, I was worried by how this would age.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I was surprised by how good Wesley Snipes, Patrick Swayze, and John Leguizamo were. There was very little laughing at the characters unless they actually were cracking a joke or doing something funny. This is a great example of a movie that was sold on a notable premise and tried to build something deeper on top of it.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I'm not sure how much of the joke of the movie was supposed to be that the town didn't realize they were drag queens. I assumed from the first few minutes there that everyone immediately realized (because how could they not?) and didn't care. The climax seems to imply that the three leads thought they were fooling some people. 

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Halloween

What I Guessed It Was About: Basically, it will be exactly the same as the original but with more swearing, nudity, and violence because this is Rob Zombie and to expect anything else would be foolish.

How I Came Into It: I think Rob Zombie is an interesting filmmaker, partly because he always appears to be making exactly the movie he wants to. The Devil's Rejects is strange in a way that only he can pull off and a lot of that looked likely to bleed into his next project. It was surprising how few names I ended up recognizing from this. For such a high body count and the need for so many (mostly young) victims, I expected to have a lot Johnny Depp in Elm Street VI sightings.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Without betraying the series, this Halloween is very much its own movie. One of the drawbacks when I watched H20 was that is was a weird mix of recapturing the original Halloween's magic and aping Scream. This is very much Zombie's Halloween. The focus on how Michael Myers became what he is was interesting and the movie delivers exactly what it promised: a lot of people dying. The script takes pleasure in repeatedly introducing characters only to add to the death numbers, as opposed to some more conservative slasher movies that put a premium on it (i.e. It's a five person cast, so maybe four people are going to die).

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Part of my issue is on me. I watched an edited for TV version. Stupid, I know. I got a decent idea of what the movie was doing, but I deprived myself of fully embracing what the movie had to offer. The part that isn't my fault is that, in order to introduce enough characters to give a big body count, there's little character development. I had little or no investment in the main girl. There's also far too much Pepe Le Pew syndrome going on. Myers magically knows exactly where to go and can always catch and kill the person he wants. For a guy in solitary confinement for years, he's awful will suited in the real world.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Weekly 10: 8/7-8/13

I'm surprised that I managed to see so much, because the story this week has been all about my rewatch of The Wire. In short, it's been a good week.

True Detective Finale
I wish I wasn't so confounded by the story. The actors put in the needed effort. The direction was solid, but scattered. Individual beats were at times very thrilling. The story just lost me. It was too complex in the macro and not engaging in the micro. I still plan to be watching season 3, but that's to determine if season 1 or 2 was the outlier. Another season like this one and I'm out.

Disney Night (Up, The Great Mouse Detective, Hercules, Meet the Robinsons)
The idea for the night was "Everyone's favorite Disney animated feature". More or less, that's what we stuck to. It was a very solid lineup. That + all the movies I went through driving to and from Disney World earlier this year have served as a healthy refresher on everything that's right with those movies.

Girl Meets World "Girl Meets Yearbook"
This was an excuse to let everyone play dress up. They all had fun with it. The question is, is this going to be for Farkle, what the first day of 7th grade was for Topanga back in the day? He didn't revert back to who he was by the end, so I wonder.

The Wire Season 3
One word: Hamsterdam. God I love that season. I watched almost the whole thing on Saturday alone and didn't really do anything else. Ok, that's a lie, I also ate way too many wings, but that has nothing to do with this.

Fantastic Four
Believe the hype. The people crucifying this movie are right to do so. Bummer.

Hannibal "...And the Woman Clothed in Sun"
I don't know the Red Dragon story well enough to really judge the execution of this. It has been interesting following a non-Hannibal villain for an extended time though. Not as a distraction like the Vergers, but as the other side of a story.

Rise of the Guardians
This is one of those quickly forgotten Dreamworks Animation movies and I see why.

The Jim Gaffigan Show "Super Great Daddy Day"
Like Jim Gaffigan the person, there's nothing edgy about this show although it's not entirely wholesome. It's structurally a completely traditional sitcom, yet I don't mind the beats at all. I knew every beat of the episode after the end of the first act and still enjoyed every bit of it. There's something to be commended about that.

Alien Nation
Wow. That's some subtle commentary right there.

Last Week Tonight
Given what we learned this week, it's amazing that anyone figures sex out right.

Delayed Reaction: Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story

What I Guessed It Was About: This is the story of Bruce Lee, or is it a kung fu movie about a character named Bruce Lee? I don't know what I expected, but I had a strong feeling that I'd be saying "that's not really how it happened" a lot.

How I Came Into It: I really wasn't sure what this movie was. I was pretty sure that this was a kung fu movie. I wasn't sure how it could be a bio-pic too. I was very confused.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) About one fight scene in, I got a good idea what the description "A lionized account of Bruce Lee's life" meant. It's a thrilling way to get around the natural lulls of a biopic. As a kung fu movie, it's solid. I'm not a huge fan of the genre, so I'm sure there's better movies out there. Jason Scott Lee plays a good Bruce Lee. I'm assuming there's no relation.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This was made before the internet caught on, but it's the perfect movie to watch with wikipedia pulled up. The problem with that is that when something happened in the movie, I looked up the truth about the situation online and often lost track of the movie because the wikipedia page was more interesting. Perhaps that's just me though.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: We're The Millers

What I Guessed It Was About: A pothead hires a fake family to get a ton of weed in an RV across the Mexico/US border. The fake family is made up of a stripper, a closeted boy, and a homeless girl. Guess what? Things don't go smoothly. Someone wants to kill them, of course annnnnnnd, hijinks.

How I Came Into It: I had no desire to see it when I first heard about it. The idea seemed broad. The only significant job for the director was Dodgeball (which I always got the sense had Ben Stiller doing a lot of back seat directing). Then this made a ton of money and I wasn't sure why. It would be fair to say that I didn't go into this movie expecting to like it.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) The movie has the casting down. Jason Sudeikis is a good comedy lead. I've heard him described as being like Chevy Chase and I think that's a fair comparison. Emma Roberts and Will Poulter are fine young actors. Jennifer Aniston has her fans. The rest of the world is fleshed out with Bit-Part All Stars like Nick Offerman, Kathryn Hahn, and Ed Helms. The movie earns its R-rating and is really consistent about what it wants to be.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: What it wants to be isn't something that I have much interest in. It's a lot of farce, which I'm not a big fan of. I'd rather see a joke come out of being honest than a joke out of hiding something. All that stuff with the fake baby? Good god, no! It's a small world comedy where there's apparently only one road that anyone takes . Oh, and I'm not a big fan of Jennifer Aniston. At least, not in comedies like this. I don't remember the last time I found her funny. I think she's a good actress. She can even deliver a funny line. She's not the funny thing though, improving on a line. The humor in the movie didn't land with me. Any time the blooper real at the end is funnier than the movie, that's a problem.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Scary Movie 4

What I Guessed It Was About: It will be just like the last movie except - what year was it made? 2006 - with a lot of Saw jokes in it.

How I Came Into It: I hate this series of movies. The fact that I like the Scary Movies more than the even worse cousins (Date Movie, Meet the Spartins, Superhero Movie) is more of a discredit to the cousins than anything good about the Scary Movies. I hit play and prepared for 90 minutes of wishing better for Anna Faris.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) It's the only Scary Movie I had left and I'm a completioni - what's that? They made a fifth one? Fuck that! This had exactly one joke that landed for me. At the beginning, Shaq hears the voice of the Jigsaw knock-off and asks if it's Kobe. It's a stupid joke but I chuckled. It was downhill from there and pretty dramatically so.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Haven't I gone over why I hate this style of movie enough?

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Fantastic Four

Formula: Fantastic Four * Batman Begins - The Dark Knight

Why I Saw It: I like the cast and I wanted this to be good.

Cast: Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan are two of my favorites right now. Kate Mara was good in House of Cards before it jumped the train. Jamie Bell was good as Billy Elliot years ago. Reg E. Cathey is also good in limited use on House of Cards. Tony Kebbell was excellent as Koba in last year's Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.

Plot: Teen prodigy Reed Richards (Teller) gets a job with the Baxter research facility where he works with adopted siblings Johhny (Jordan) and Sue Storm (Mara) and reluctant teammate Victor Von Doom (Kebbell). They are working on a device that teleports to another dimension. One day, there's an accident involving them and Richards' childhood friend, Ben Grimm (Bell) that leaves them all with different powers and Victor behind in the other dimension. When they finally bring Victor back, things do not go well.

Thoughts:
I badly wanted to be the person to find the way to look at this movie favorably. After all, the cast proves that Fox was trying and Josh Trank, director of Chronicle, has proven that he has a different perspective on superheroes. On a more general level, when people are so ready to pile on to a movie, it's normally an overreaction.
There's no saving this movie though.
This relies heavily on superhero shorthand. Every character is the broadest of archetypes and the refusal to inject this with any humor makes that hard to swallow. If you ever had trouble understanding what "plot-driven" means, watch this, because every beat of the movie is to force the plot along. Character decisions drive little or nothing. I'd even wager that anyone not familiar with the comic characters would be baffled by every beat of this story.
I'm not sure how you ruin this cast, but I have some ideas how they did it. First, the average age of the four actors is 29 (probably 28 when filming). Reed and Ben are maybe 18 and the others aren't much older. I don't know why they chose to do that. Nothing about that makes sense. They act much older the whole time and they are leading a major project with large teams of scientists and technicians. For god's sake, the flashback to a young Reed looks more like 1997 than 2007 (notice the shelf of N64's powering his prototype). Second, by making this a complete origin story there's too much to cover. It has to introduce each of the Four individually, show them coming together as a team (pre-powers), develop rivalries, get their powers, adapt to having the powers, have a fall out, come back together, and beat the bad guy. There's so much plot to cover that the characters never develop except in the most basic of arcs. I appreciate Fox's desire to keep this under 2 hours, but they should've gone for a simpler story or accepted that it would be a little long.
Victor Von Doom is perhaps the most problematic piece of all. He makes no sense. He's sort of a renegade genius (we're told that far more than we see it). He's left behind in the other dimension during the accident. When they return and retrieve him, he's a complete villain seeking to destroy the Earth for some reason. His powers make virtually no sense (telepathy and the power to make people prune and implode and maybe some lightning powers too). Instead of skipping ahead a year so the story could get to Victor, he should've been saved for a sequel in favor of developing the Fantastic Four as a team against a more generic threat in this movie.

Elephant in the Room: There must be something good about this? It's competently enough made. There's a couple moments with each character that are ok. Before he became the Thing, I was interested in what Jamie Bell was doing. There's a moment when Reed sends Ben a selfie of his project and Ben has a little fist pump to himself because he was proud of his friend. I liked that. It's a tiny gesture but also one of the few that wasn't the movie explicitly explaining what's going on. The few action scenes are ok. I'm grasping for examples of things I liked though.

To Sum Things Up (in 57 words or less):
I can’t find a way to recommend this movie, despite the on screen talent. This is an example of all that can go wrong when there’s “too many cooks” making a big studio action movie. It sure makes me appreciate the control that the Marvel Comic Universe has. R.I.P. Fantastic Four.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Bound

What I Guessed It Was About: This is a cheap knock-off off 50 Shades of Grey.

How I Came Into It: I only knew of this as a movie that Charisma Carpentar got naked in and that's about it. I watched this mainly because it was short and I knew I wouldn't feel bad if I fell asleep in the middle of it. I assumed it was a bad 50 Shades of Grey. Further research has told me that it is proudly and intentionally a knock-off. Apparently, the Asylum is a studio that specifically makes bad imitations of movies on the cheap and releases them in time to confuse stupid audiences (My favorite title of one of these is 2007's Transmorphers). That complicates my reaction slightly.

Why I Saw It: It can't be just because I was curious to see Charisma Carpenter naked. There's the internet for that or simply better movies for nakedness in my Netflix queue. I've gone over and over looking for another reason, but that must've been the entirety of my decision. More than anything though, it did provide about 90 minutes of mindless dribble on my TV which was exactly what I wanted that late and drunk that night.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It was bad. The story jumps all over the place. I'm not sure how old Carpentar was supposed to be playing, but it had to be much younger. Listening to her talk about her job at all is hilarious, using the least specific wording imaginable. The villain jumped from 0 to 10 out of nowhere. It's so obviously trying to be a bad movie that it's hard to criticize it properly.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Karate Kid

What I Guessed It Was About: A Jersey kid named Daniel wants to be awesome at karate. He can't get in the good dojo in town, so he finds Mr. Miyagi, who teaches him using car washing and catching flies with chopsticks. In the big tournament, he gets injured going into the last round and uses an illegal move to win it all.*
*Yeah, you basically have to live in a cave to not know what this movie is about.

How I Came Into It: I've seen The Next Karate Kid which combines two of the things I dislike the most: exhausted franchises and Hilary Swank. As a result, I haven't been in a hurry to see the original. A friend of mine recently rediscovered the movie and spoke well enough about it that it jumped in my queue (It helps that he also had the Blu-ray of it for me to borrow). This is such a widely known movie movie that I knew what it was about going in. This viewing was all for seeing if the execution matched the ubiquity.

Why I Saw It: This is much better than it needed to be and held up better than I expected. I doubt this was the first movie to use some of more tired beats in the story and it's certainly not the last to do so. It didn't matter though. Daniel is a relatable protagonist. Miyagi manages to play into a lot of Asian stereotypes without it looking embarrassing in hindsight, which is pretty miraculous. Even the young Elisabeth Shue got to shine a little. She wasn't convinced to like Daniel by him winning. She just liked him and knew that Johnny was a complete jerk. Even though I knew every beat of the last five minutes of the movie, I was still into the whole thing. That's a magic trick that the best sports movies pull off (It's certainly why I love Warrior so much).

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I wish I could've discovered this movie by accident. This would've benefited a lot from that. It still holds up, but it would've been great to wonder if this was going to end like Rocky 1 or Rocky 2. Hell, it could've been Rocky V, complete with a street brawl at the end. That would've been interesting. While we're tackling wish fulfillment, I'd've liked to scrub the Hilary Swank reboot attempt from my memory too.

Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

Weekly 10: 7/31-8/6

I watched a lot of bad movies this week. I spared you from the mention of many of them. You're welcome.

Review Premiere "Brawl, Blackmail, Gloryhole"
It's good to have Forest MacNeil back. I completely lost it when the "Get in a brawl" segment went off the rails. Allison Tolman was great and I'm sad that she won't be around longer.

The Wire Season 2
I still don't like Ziggy that much, but damn that show puts together a satisfy season/story.

The Neighbors
I can't believe this show exists. For anyone who doesn't know, it's a sitcom on Hulu made by Tommy Wiseau, mastermind behind the epic failure of cinema, The Room. This show is awful in every way. I will not be watching another episode.

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
It's nice to know that just because something is very familiar doesn't mean it still can't be a lot of fun.

Halt and Catch Fire Finale "Heaven is a Place"
Yeah, this show got very good. That was as satisfying an ending as I could hope for. I didn't care for most of the Gordon stuff throughout the season, but it's clear we needed to go through that to get to this point with him. Kerry Bishe though. She's so damn good. Moving her to a lead is the smartest thing they could've done. I fully assume there will be no third season (the ratings for this are atrocious). That doesn't mean it wouldn't excite me if there was one.

The Perfect Murder
That's a bad title. It was never a perfect anything.

Hannibal "And the Woman Clothed with the Sun"
Simply put, I like Abigail, so I'm glad they keep finding excuses to use her.

Innerspace
This has been a bad week for me watching movies with likable stars (Dennis Quaid, Martin Short, and Meg Ryan are a good place to start) that felt like they were an hour too long.

True Detective "Black Maps and Motel Rooms"
The case still doesn't make any more sense to me. The rising tension is doing a good job distracting me though.

Betrayed
Listening to the little girl being all racist and bigoted reminded me one of of my favorite talk show interviews ever.

August Movie Preview

No! It's too soon for summer to be winding down. It'll be another 4-5 months before movies that I want to see are coming out with the regularity of summer again. At least July didn't suck like last year. Oh lord did it suck last year. And this August isn't as jam-packed as last year either*. It doesn't look like I'll have any trouble finding interesting movies to see though.

*Actually, on second observation, last August, despite setting a record for that month by a lot, was that great. Guardians snuck into the month and Ninja Turtles far exceeded expectations. That was about it though.

2015

Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | June | Jul 

2014

Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec

2013

Mar |  Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec

8/7

Fantastic Four
Working For It: It's been eight years since the last Fantastic Four movie. While I have qualms with the decision to reboot yet another franchise, I can't argue with the casting. Miles Teller (Whiplash, The Spectacular Now) and Michael B. Jordan (Fruitvale Station, Friday Night Lights) are two of my favorite actors right now. I'm yet to find something that I love with Kate Mara in it, but she's never the part that disappoints me in those projects. They even have Billy Elliot himself, Jamie Bell, playing The Thing. Throw in Tony Kebbell who was excellent as Koba in last year's Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and I'm not sure if there's a misstep made in picking the on-screen talent.
Working Against It: Director Josh Trank's only previous feature experience is Chronicle. While I quite enjoyed that, it's a very different from a superhero movie. Then again, such a thing didn't matter much to Colin Trevorrow directing the third highest grossing movie of all time earlier this year. Of course, there's also the concern that there's not enough collective interest in this franchise. This could be the first major victim of superhero fatigue.
Interest Level: Higher than it should be.

The Gift
Working For It: This is a movie about a couple (Jason Bateman and Rebecca Hall) and an old classmate (Joel Edgarton) of the husband's bringing out the truth about his past or something. The second tier cast has a lot of interesting "TV Talent" including Allison Tolman (Fargo), Busy Phillips (Cougar Town), Katie Aselton (The League), and David Denman (Roy from The Office). When there's this many people that I like in something, it's encouraging.
Working Against It: The advertising for this so far has been specific in its vagueness. There's a mystery about Bateman's past. That is built up a lot. Too much, I fear. Surprise twists normally work better than anticipated ones. This is Edgarton's directorial debut. He also wrote the screenplay. Depending on how this is, I could either come away liking him a lot more or wishing he'd just stick with acting.
Interest Level: Lowish.

Ricki and the Flash
Working For It: It's Meryl god-damn Streep as an aging rock star.
Working Against It: The rest of the movie looks pretty quaint. I'm willing to let myself be surprised to find out that it's really good, but this has all the telltale signs of being one of those movies that Streep carries the whole way through (See: The Iron Lady).
Interest Level: Not high in theaters.

Shaun the Sheep Movie
Working For It: Aardman Animations is back with another claymation movie. You know those guys who made Chicken Run, and Flushed Away, and Wallace and Grommit? Now they have another movie. This one has to do with a bunch of sheep going to the city to rescue their  farmer. I just like the idea of animation with a British sensibility making its way over here.
Working Against It: Sadly, I don't respond to that British animated sensibility very well. I simply haven't enjoyed any of the Aardman Animation productions I've seen.
Interest Level: Very low.

The Diary of a Teenage Girl
Working For It: It's a Sundance darling about a teenage girl going through a sexual awakening. It's an indie movie and by all accounts, it doesn't handle its central topic in a tawdry way. Bel Powley is apparently a big discovery coming out of this. Kristin Wiig's in it too. That's fun.
Working Against It: I'm sure it's good, but sometimes a movie is so indie that it hurts. This looks like it may cross that threshold.
Interest Level: Not high at all.

8/14

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
Working For It: Could this be more of a Guy Ritchie movie? After seeing the preview, I didn't need anyone to tell me that it was the guy who brought us Sherlock Holmes and Snatch. Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer are interchangeable Brits although one is playing a Russian spy. Alicia Vikander made a big impression on me earlier this year in Ex Machina. Apparently Hugh Grant's in this too. I rather love Hugh Grant.
Working Against It: You should know by now if a Guy Ritchie movie is for you or not. The Sherlock Holmes movies left a lot of people cold. I didn't dislike them, but I am wondering if Guy Ritchie is just one of those directors who gets overwhelmed when the budget of his movie is too big.
Interest Level: Moderately high until I hear otherwise

Straight Outta Compton
Working For It: It's a biopic about NWA. That's all you need to know to figure out if you are going to see this or not. The group definitely has an interesting history and there's plenty to cover. Done well, this could be a very good movie.
Working Against It: I had to get pretty far down the cast list before I recognized a name. Granted, that says more about minority casting in Hollywood, but recognizing a name or two would instill a little more trust in this. The director, F. Gary Gray has directed everything from Friday, to Set It Off, to The Negotiator, to Law Abiding Citizen. Oh, and The Italian Job. I'm not sure which of those prepares him for this. There's not a lot of screenwriting experience among the four people credited either...Yeah, this movie could easily be a mess.
Interest Level: Looking for any reason to make it higher.

Underdogs
Working For It: It's an animated soccer movie from a couple years ago that's being redubbed for America. The original movie is Argentinian and like Shaun the Sheep Movie, I like that we're getting animation from another country.
Working Against It: I just wish I liked soccer more. Also, I'm not particularly inspire by a voice cast of Matthew Morrison, Ariana Grande, and Nicholas Hoult. Finally, the US is the last place to get this movie. It's didn't blow up anywhere other than Argentina and the reviews are pretty middling. Those are bad signs.
Interest Level: Almost non existent.

Mistress America
Working For It: Did you like Frances Ha? I did. Same director. I looks like Greta Gerwig is the focus, but not the main character (kind of in a Great Gatsby way). I'm not sure what it's about. I'm not particularly sure that I care.
Working Against It: I do like Noah Baumbach's movies (he did Greenberg and The Squid and the Whale too), but I'm ok with saving them for when I'm in the right mood. If that mood strikes while this is in theaters, I'll see it then. Otherwise, there's already a place in my Netflix queue for it.
Interest Level: Interest far exceeds anticipation.

8/21

American Ultra
Working For It: Jesse Eisenberg is a stoner who has forgotten that he's a highly trained government operative. The government decides to take him out because he's a liability. He and his girlfriend (Kristen Stewart) have get away safely. It's stoner Jason Bourne movie. The trailers look pretty funny.
Working Against It: I hated Project X which is the only other film that Nima Nourizadeh has directed. That's badly coloring my opinion of a movie that looks otherwise very enjoyable.
Interest Level: High, despite heavy concerns.

Hitman: Agent 47
Working For It: I'm not really sure. It's based on the video games. People like those games right? Apparently it's a sequel, but without Timothy Olyphant as the lead.
Working Against It: The first movie was 8 years ago. It looks like this has a completely new cast. We've finally reached the point in the summer where this type of movies start showing up in droves (and by that, I mean burn-off releases).
Interest Level: I can't imagine it being any lower than it is.

She's Funny That Way
Working For It: It's a Peter Bogdanovich screwball comedy with interconnected stories, featuring a large assortment of actors who were available at the time.
Working Against It: If you haven't heard of Bogdanovich, that's because he hasn't been working a lot in recent years, and before that, he was primarily doing TV-movies. He's far removed from The Last Picture Show and Paper Moon and the quality of the cast reflects that.
Interest Level: Low.

8/28

Regression
Working For It: The releases are getting dicey by the last week in August. All I have to go off for this is that the poster is a big picture of Emma Watson. That could be enough for me. She doesn't do enough movies. I can't wait for that live action Beauty and the Beast.
Working Against It: This could be an awful movie. That may even be readily apparent if I actually watch a trailer for it. I'm not sure if even that will ever happen though.
Interest Level: Way down.

Sinister 2
Working For It: It's a horror movie about a woman with demon sons or something. It's got Shannyn Sossamon who I still have goodwill with for being in A Knight's Tale 14 years ago.
Working Against It: I only recognize the first Sinister by name alone. I'm not sure what the connective tissue is for the two movies. I'm not sure that I particularly care.
Interest Level: Noticing a trend? Low again.

Z for Zachariah
Working For It: I've been looking forward to this one since I heard about it at Sundance. It's has the flawless Margot Robbie living in a post-apocalyptic world alone until she finds Chiwetel Ejiofor followed by Chris Pine. This turns into some sort of love triangle. That cast and setting is all I really need to know. The director last did the little-seen Compliance. With the tone of that movie, this could be a very tense viewing.
Working Against It: On its own, a love triangle doesn't sound very interesting. I have to imagine there's more too this than that.
Interest Level: Exceedingly high