Movie Reaction: Fantastic Four

Formula: Fantastic Four * Batman Begins - The Dark Knight

Why I Saw It: I like the cast and I wanted this to be good.

Cast: Miles Teller and Michael B. Jordan are two of my favorites right now. Kate Mara was good in House of Cards before it jumped the train. Jamie Bell was good as Billy Elliot years ago. Reg E. Cathey is also good in limited use on House of Cards. Tony Kebbell was excellent as Koba in last year's Dawn of the Planet of the Apes.

Plot: Teen prodigy Reed Richards (Teller) gets a job with the Baxter research facility where he works with adopted siblings Johhny (Jordan) and Sue Storm (Mara) and reluctant teammate Victor Von Doom (Kebbell). They are working on a device that teleports to another dimension. One day, there's an accident involving them and Richards' childhood friend, Ben Grimm (Bell) that leaves them all with different powers and Victor behind in the other dimension. When they finally bring Victor back, things do not go well.

Thoughts:
I badly wanted to be the person to find the way to look at this movie favorably. After all, the cast proves that Fox was trying and Josh Trank, director of Chronicle, has proven that he has a different perspective on superheroes. On a more general level, when people are so ready to pile on to a movie, it's normally an overreaction.
There's no saving this movie though.
This relies heavily on superhero shorthand. Every character is the broadest of archetypes and the refusal to inject this with any humor makes that hard to swallow. If you ever had trouble understanding what "plot-driven" means, watch this, because every beat of the movie is to force the plot along. Character decisions drive little or nothing. I'd even wager that anyone not familiar with the comic characters would be baffled by every beat of this story.
I'm not sure how you ruin this cast, but I have some ideas how they did it. First, the average age of the four actors is 29 (probably 28 when filming). Reed and Ben are maybe 18 and the others aren't much older. I don't know why they chose to do that. Nothing about that makes sense. They act much older the whole time and they are leading a major project with large teams of scientists and technicians. For god's sake, the flashback to a young Reed looks more like 1997 than 2007 (notice the shelf of N64's powering his prototype). Second, by making this a complete origin story there's too much to cover. It has to introduce each of the Four individually, show them coming together as a team (pre-powers), develop rivalries, get their powers, adapt to having the powers, have a fall out, come back together, and beat the bad guy. There's so much plot to cover that the characters never develop except in the most basic of arcs. I appreciate Fox's desire to keep this under 2 hours, but they should've gone for a simpler story or accepted that it would be a little long.
Victor Von Doom is perhaps the most problematic piece of all. He makes no sense. He's sort of a renegade genius (we're told that far more than we see it). He's left behind in the other dimension during the accident. When they return and retrieve him, he's a complete villain seeking to destroy the Earth for some reason. His powers make virtually no sense (telepathy and the power to make people prune and implode and maybe some lightning powers too). Instead of skipping ahead a year so the story could get to Victor, he should've been saved for a sequel in favor of developing the Fantastic Four as a team against a more generic threat in this movie.

Elephant in the Room: There must be something good about this? It's competently enough made. There's a couple moments with each character that are ok. Before he became the Thing, I was interested in what Jamie Bell was doing. There's a moment when Reed sends Ben a selfie of his project and Ben has a little fist pump to himself because he was proud of his friend. I liked that. It's a tiny gesture but also one of the few that wasn't the movie explicitly explaining what's going on. The few action scenes are ok. I'm grasping for examples of things I liked though.

To Sum Things Up (in 57 words or less):
I can’t find a way to recommend this movie, despite the on screen talent. This is an example of all that can go wrong when there’s “too many cooks” making a big studio action movie. It sure makes me appreciate the control that the Marvel Comic Universe has. R.I.P. Fantastic Four.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Bound

What I Guessed It Was About: This is a cheap knock-off off 50 Shades of Grey.

How I Came Into It: I only knew of this as a movie that Charisma Carpentar got naked in and that's about it. I watched this mainly because it was short and I knew I wouldn't feel bad if I fell asleep in the middle of it. I assumed it was a bad 50 Shades of Grey. Further research has told me that it is proudly and intentionally a knock-off. Apparently, the Asylum is a studio that specifically makes bad imitations of movies on the cheap and releases them in time to confuse stupid audiences (My favorite title of one of these is 2007's Transmorphers). That complicates my reaction slightly.

Why I Saw It: It can't be just because I was curious to see Charisma Carpenter naked. There's the internet for that or simply better movies for nakedness in my Netflix queue. I've gone over and over looking for another reason, but that must've been the entirety of my decision. More than anything though, it did provide about 90 minutes of mindless dribble on my TV which was exactly what I wanted that late and drunk that night.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It was bad. The story jumps all over the place. I'm not sure how old Carpentar was supposed to be playing, but it had to be much younger. Listening to her talk about her job at all is hilarious, using the least specific wording imaginable. The villain jumped from 0 to 10 out of nowhere. It's so obviously trying to be a bad movie that it's hard to criticize it properly.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Karate Kid

What I Guessed It Was About: A Jersey kid named Daniel wants to be awesome at karate. He can't get in the good dojo in town, so he finds Mr. Miyagi, who teaches him using car washing and catching flies with chopsticks. In the big tournament, he gets injured going into the last round and uses an illegal move to win it all.*
*Yeah, you basically have to live in a cave to not know what this movie is about.

How I Came Into It: I've seen The Next Karate Kid which combines two of the things I dislike the most: exhausted franchises and Hilary Swank. As a result, I haven't been in a hurry to see the original. A friend of mine recently rediscovered the movie and spoke well enough about it that it jumped in my queue (It helps that he also had the Blu-ray of it for me to borrow). This is such a widely known movie movie that I knew what it was about going in. This viewing was all for seeing if the execution matched the ubiquity.

Why I Saw It: This is much better than it needed to be and held up better than I expected. I doubt this was the first movie to use some of more tired beats in the story and it's certainly not the last to do so. It didn't matter though. Daniel is a relatable protagonist. Miyagi manages to play into a lot of Asian stereotypes without it looking embarrassing in hindsight, which is pretty miraculous. Even the young Elisabeth Shue got to shine a little. She wasn't convinced to like Daniel by him winning. She just liked him and knew that Johnny was a complete jerk. Even though I knew every beat of the last five minutes of the movie, I was still into the whole thing. That's a magic trick that the best sports movies pull off (It's certainly why I love Warrior so much).

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I wish I could've discovered this movie by accident. This would've benefited a lot from that. It still holds up, but it would've been great to wonder if this was going to end like Rocky 1 or Rocky 2. Hell, it could've been Rocky V, complete with a street brawl at the end. That would've been interesting. While we're tackling wish fulfillment, I'd've liked to scrub the Hilary Swank reboot attempt from my memory too.

Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

Weekly 10: 7/31-8/6

I watched a lot of bad movies this week. I spared you from the mention of many of them. You're welcome.

Review Premiere "Brawl, Blackmail, Gloryhole"
It's good to have Forest MacNeil back. I completely lost it when the "Get in a brawl" segment went off the rails. Allison Tolman was great and I'm sad that she won't be around longer.

The Wire Season 2
I still don't like Ziggy that much, but damn that show puts together a satisfy season/story.

The Neighbors
I can't believe this show exists. For anyone who doesn't know, it's a sitcom on Hulu made by Tommy Wiseau, mastermind behind the epic failure of cinema, The Room. This show is awful in every way. I will not be watching another episode.

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
It's nice to know that just because something is very familiar doesn't mean it still can't be a lot of fun.

Halt and Catch Fire Finale "Heaven is a Place"
Yeah, this show got very good. That was as satisfying an ending as I could hope for. I didn't care for most of the Gordon stuff throughout the season, but it's clear we needed to go through that to get to this point with him. Kerry Bishe though. She's so damn good. Moving her to a lead is the smartest thing they could've done. I fully assume there will be no third season (the ratings for this are atrocious). That doesn't mean it wouldn't excite me if there was one.

The Perfect Murder
That's a bad title. It was never a perfect anything.

Hannibal "And the Woman Clothed with the Sun"
Simply put, I like Abigail, so I'm glad they keep finding excuses to use her.

Innerspace
This has been a bad week for me watching movies with likable stars (Dennis Quaid, Martin Short, and Meg Ryan are a good place to start) that felt like they were an hour too long.

True Detective "Black Maps and Motel Rooms"
The case still doesn't make any more sense to me. The rising tension is doing a good job distracting me though.

Betrayed
Listening to the little girl being all racist and bigoted reminded me one of of my favorite talk show interviews ever.

August Movie Preview

No! It's too soon for summer to be winding down. It'll be another 4-5 months before movies that I want to see are coming out with the regularity of summer again. At least July didn't suck like last year. Oh lord did it suck last year. And this August isn't as jam-packed as last year either*. It doesn't look like I'll have any trouble finding interesting movies to see though.

*Actually, on second observation, last August, despite setting a record for that month by a lot, was that great. Guardians snuck into the month and Ninja Turtles far exceeded expectations. That was about it though.

2015

Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | June | Jul 

2014

Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec

2013

Mar |  Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec

8/7

Fantastic Four
Working For It: It's been eight years since the last Fantastic Four movie. While I have qualms with the decision to reboot yet another franchise, I can't argue with the casting. Miles Teller (Whiplash, The Spectacular Now) and Michael B. Jordan (Fruitvale Station, Friday Night Lights) are two of my favorite actors right now. I'm yet to find something that I love with Kate Mara in it, but she's never the part that disappoints me in those projects. They even have Billy Elliot himself, Jamie Bell, playing The Thing. Throw in Tony Kebbell who was excellent as Koba in last year's Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and I'm not sure if there's a misstep made in picking the on-screen talent.
Working Against It: Director Josh Trank's only previous feature experience is Chronicle. While I quite enjoyed that, it's a very different from a superhero movie. Then again, such a thing didn't matter much to Colin Trevorrow directing the third highest grossing movie of all time earlier this year. Of course, there's also the concern that there's not enough collective interest in this franchise. This could be the first major victim of superhero fatigue.
Interest Level: Higher than it should be.

The Gift
Working For It: This is a movie about a couple (Jason Bateman and Rebecca Hall) and an old classmate (Joel Edgarton) of the husband's bringing out the truth about his past or something. The second tier cast has a lot of interesting "TV Talent" including Allison Tolman (Fargo), Busy Phillips (Cougar Town), Katie Aselton (The League), and David Denman (Roy from The Office). When there's this many people that I like in something, it's encouraging.
Working Against It: The advertising for this so far has been specific in its vagueness. There's a mystery about Bateman's past. That is built up a lot. Too much, I fear. Surprise twists normally work better than anticipated ones. This is Edgarton's directorial debut. He also wrote the screenplay. Depending on how this is, I could either come away liking him a lot more or wishing he'd just stick with acting.
Interest Level: Lowish.

Ricki and the Flash
Working For It: It's Meryl god-damn Streep as an aging rock star.
Working Against It: The rest of the movie looks pretty quaint. I'm willing to let myself be surprised to find out that it's really good, but this has all the telltale signs of being one of those movies that Streep carries the whole way through (See: The Iron Lady).
Interest Level: Not high in theaters.

Shaun the Sheep Movie
Working For It: Aardman Animations is back with another claymation movie. You know those guys who made Chicken Run, and Flushed Away, and Wallace and Grommit? Now they have another movie. This one has to do with a bunch of sheep going to the city to rescue their  farmer. I just like the idea of animation with a British sensibility making its way over here.
Working Against It: Sadly, I don't respond to that British animated sensibility very well. I simply haven't enjoyed any of the Aardman Animation productions I've seen.
Interest Level: Very low.

The Diary of a Teenage Girl
Working For It: It's a Sundance darling about a teenage girl going through a sexual awakening. It's an indie movie and by all accounts, it doesn't handle its central topic in a tawdry way. Bel Powley is apparently a big discovery coming out of this. Kristin Wiig's in it too. That's fun.
Working Against It: I'm sure it's good, but sometimes a movie is so indie that it hurts. This looks like it may cross that threshold.
Interest Level: Not high at all.

8/14

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.
Working For It: Could this be more of a Guy Ritchie movie? After seeing the preview, I didn't need anyone to tell me that it was the guy who brought us Sherlock Holmes and Snatch. Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer are interchangeable Brits although one is playing a Russian spy. Alicia Vikander made a big impression on me earlier this year in Ex Machina. Apparently Hugh Grant's in this too. I rather love Hugh Grant.
Working Against It: You should know by now if a Guy Ritchie movie is for you or not. The Sherlock Holmes movies left a lot of people cold. I didn't dislike them, but I am wondering if Guy Ritchie is just one of those directors who gets overwhelmed when the budget of his movie is too big.
Interest Level: Moderately high until I hear otherwise

Straight Outta Compton
Working For It: It's a biopic about NWA. That's all you need to know to figure out if you are going to see this or not. The group definitely has an interesting history and there's plenty to cover. Done well, this could be a very good movie.
Working Against It: I had to get pretty far down the cast list before I recognized a name. Granted, that says more about minority casting in Hollywood, but recognizing a name or two would instill a little more trust in this. The director, F. Gary Gray has directed everything from Friday, to Set It Off, to The Negotiator, to Law Abiding Citizen. Oh, and The Italian Job. I'm not sure which of those prepares him for this. There's not a lot of screenwriting experience among the four people credited either...Yeah, this movie could easily be a mess.
Interest Level: Looking for any reason to make it higher.

Underdogs
Working For It: It's an animated soccer movie from a couple years ago that's being redubbed for America. The original movie is Argentinian and like Shaun the Sheep Movie, I like that we're getting animation from another country.
Working Against It: I just wish I liked soccer more. Also, I'm not particularly inspire by a voice cast of Matthew Morrison, Ariana Grande, and Nicholas Hoult. Finally, the US is the last place to get this movie. It's didn't blow up anywhere other than Argentina and the reviews are pretty middling. Those are bad signs.
Interest Level: Almost non existent.

Mistress America
Working For It: Did you like Frances Ha? I did. Same director. I looks like Greta Gerwig is the focus, but not the main character (kind of in a Great Gatsby way). I'm not sure what it's about. I'm not particularly sure that I care.
Working Against It: I do like Noah Baumbach's movies (he did Greenberg and The Squid and the Whale too), but I'm ok with saving them for when I'm in the right mood. If that mood strikes while this is in theaters, I'll see it then. Otherwise, there's already a place in my Netflix queue for it.
Interest Level: Interest far exceeds anticipation.

8/21

American Ultra
Working For It: Jesse Eisenberg is a stoner who has forgotten that he's a highly trained government operative. The government decides to take him out because he's a liability. He and his girlfriend (Kristen Stewart) have get away safely. It's stoner Jason Bourne movie. The trailers look pretty funny.
Working Against It: I hated Project X which is the only other film that Nima Nourizadeh has directed. That's badly coloring my opinion of a movie that looks otherwise very enjoyable.
Interest Level: High, despite heavy concerns.

Hitman: Agent 47
Working For It: I'm not really sure. It's based on the video games. People like those games right? Apparently it's a sequel, but without Timothy Olyphant as the lead.
Working Against It: The first movie was 8 years ago. It looks like this has a completely new cast. We've finally reached the point in the summer where this type of movies start showing up in droves (and by that, I mean burn-off releases).
Interest Level: I can't imagine it being any lower than it is.

She's Funny That Way
Working For It: It's a Peter Bogdanovich screwball comedy with interconnected stories, featuring a large assortment of actors who were available at the time.
Working Against It: If you haven't heard of Bogdanovich, that's because he hasn't been working a lot in recent years, and before that, he was primarily doing TV-movies. He's far removed from The Last Picture Show and Paper Moon and the quality of the cast reflects that.
Interest Level: Low.

8/28

Regression
Working For It: The releases are getting dicey by the last week in August. All I have to go off for this is that the poster is a big picture of Emma Watson. That could be enough for me. She doesn't do enough movies. I can't wait for that live action Beauty and the Beast.
Working Against It: This could be an awful movie. That may even be readily apparent if I actually watch a trailer for it. I'm not sure if even that will ever happen though.
Interest Level: Way down.

Sinister 2
Working For It: It's a horror movie about a woman with demon sons or something. It's got Shannyn Sossamon who I still have goodwill with for being in A Knight's Tale 14 years ago.
Working Against It: I only recognize the first Sinister by name alone. I'm not sure what the connective tissue is for the two movies. I'm not sure that I particularly care.
Interest Level: Noticing a trend? Low again.

Z for Zachariah
Working For It: I've been looking forward to this one since I heard about it at Sundance. It's has the flawless Margot Robbie living in a post-apocalyptic world alone until she finds Chiwetel Ejiofor followed by Chris Pine. This turns into some sort of love triangle. That cast and setting is all I really need to know. The director last did the little-seen Compliance. With the tone of that movie, this could be a very tense viewing.
Working Against It: On its own, a love triangle doesn't sound very interesting. I have to imagine there's more too this than that.
Interest Level: Exceedingly high

Delayed Reaction: Flightplan

What I Guessed It Was About: Jodie Foster's on a plane and there's a terrorist plot (because there's always a terrorist plot on a plane. Why else set a movie there?). She has to stop it because everyone else on the plane is worthless. Nothing explodes.

How I Came Into It: I go back and forth on Jodie Foster. She'll do Silence of the Lambs one minute, then Sommersby the next.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I don't think the movie ever expects the audience to consider that Foster makes her daughter up. Beasue of that, it plays out as a slow reveal of what happened. I've seen movies that would've fixated on the idea that the daughter didn't exist and use the daughter reveal as a big trick toward the end. There's a little of that, but not enough to get tedious.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: As awful plans go, this was an awful one. Anytime that a key part of a plan relies on someone not looking hard enough in a room or a plan full of people not noticing that a lady had a kid with her, it's not a good plan. The whole thing was awfully convoluted. That lame scheme the marshal had killed my enjoyment of the entire third act.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Snake Eyes

What I Guessed It Was About: One look at Nic Cage on the box and you know this is about Cage as a degenerate gambler trying to con his way out of debt...right?

How I Came Into It: The only thing I'd ever heard about this was praise for the tracking shot at the beginning. The last two movies I've seen that were praised for a tracking shot were Birdman and Gravity. Then there's the great tracking shots in TV shows lately with Looking and True Detective. As far as I can tell, long tracking shots mean something is going to be great.  Ah, if only that were true.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Ok, that tracking shot is pretty impressive. If I wasn't looking for it, there's a good chance I wouldn't've noticed it at all, which is a sign that it's been done well. Nic Cage is giving some vintage Cag-iness which has its charms. Hey look, it's Carla Gugino. I like her. I'm also a sucker for a story that changes based on different perspectives.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This plays like it was meant to be watched on TNT at 3 in the afternoon on a Wednesday. I don't know what to call that quality. I can't imagine when this was ever a new movie, because it plays more like a long episode of a police procedural series that never existed. It's a super plot-driven movie. For being a master plan and conspiracy, it sure relies on a lot of variables happening exactly as they should (I won't begin to go down that rabbit hole, but just ask "how..." at nearly any point in the movie and you'll see what I mean).

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation

Formula: (Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol + Conspiracy Theory) / Jack Reacher

Why I Saw It: Ghost Protocol created an interest in this franchise that wasn't there before.

Cast: A lot of familiar faces are back, including Tom Cruise, Jeremy Renner, Simon Pegg, and Ving Rhames with Rebecca Ferguson, Alec Baldwin, and Sean Harris added to the mix.

Plot: Due to concerns about lack of oversight/accountability, Ethan Hunt (Cruise) and the rest of IMF are shutdown just as Ethan is uncovering a shadow organization, the Syndicate, that's essentially the anti-IMF. Ethan, and later others on the IMF team, have to go on the run while working with a mysterious woman, Ilsa Faust (Ferguson), who is either a double, triple, or quadruple agent.

Thoughts:This is a thoroughly ridiculous movie. I mean that as a good thing. 'Impossible' is in the title and it earns it. Ethan Hunt is a super hero who can drown, get in a car wreck, fall off a motorcycle, and get up and do it all again the next day. That's just the kind of movie this is.
The plot is either cleverly mapped out or terribly messy depending on how much effort you want to put into dissecting it. The important thing is that Tom Cruise gets to do a lot of cool things. Rebecca Ferguson kicks some ass too. One odd thing is that Simon Pegg and Jeremy Renner do about the same amount of fighting which is both more than I expected out of Pegg and far less than I expected out of Renner.
This has always been a series in which the director's presence can be felt. MI:III felt like a JJ Abrams movie. Ghost Protocol felt like a Brad Bird movie. Rogue Nation feels like it came from the guy who made Jack Reacher (it helps that the director, Christopher McQuarrie, also wrote the screenplay). The main villain in this easily could've been in Jack Reacher and the way that Tom Cruise carries himself is similar to how he played Jack Reacher. This still is very much a Mission Impossible movie first and foremost.

Elephant in the Room: I just don't like Tom Cruise anymore. That's your prerogative. I'm not sure I ever had a period when I disliked him, but after Ghost Protocol, Jack Reacher, and Edge of Tomorrow (I'm choosing to omit Oblivion and not credit him as the problem with Rock of Ages), I've determined he's a movie star I like.

To Sum Things Up (in 57 words or less):
Rogue Nation is big and loud and fun. The fifth installment in a 20 year old franchise shouldn’t feel this fresh. Tom Cruise and the supporting characters are all very winning in this. The villains are a little stale, but they don’t matter as much as the setpieces. I recommend it to anyone looking for something entertaining.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Think Like a Man

What I Guessed It Was About: This is a movie about Kevin Hart's journey from ensemble player to dominating comedy force through a series of stories of women trying to keep the men they are dating by aping them as best they can.

How I Came Into It: This isn't that different of an idea. I've seen it numerous times. In fact, if you remove the fourth wall breaking from Two Can Play That Game, this is the same thing. I recognized a lot of the cast (3/4 of them are in About Last Night, which is another very similar movie). It's got Oscar nominee Taraji P. Henson, that guy from The 40 Year Old Virgin, Gabrielle "Never Ages" Union, Meagan "I've been following her since The Famous Jett Jackson" Good, and even a guy from Entourage. This is a lot of people I'm fine with being around.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This movie isn't reinventing the wheel. It's an ensemble comedy that relies heavily on tropes. So, that means it lives and dies on the actors. Luckily, the actors are all pretty likable. No story is a big drag on things, and even if one was, no story is the focus for too long anyway. It seems to know when it's taking itself too seriously or when something is plain stupid. This was incredibly easy to watch. Also, bonus points for making jokes about Tyler Perry movies.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: The tie-in to the Steve Harvey book is not poorly handled, but it's still pretty shameless. Being an improvement on Why Did I Get Married or The Best Man Holiday isn't incredible praise either. It may be easy to watch, but it's also not worth going out of your way to watch. Had I never seen it, I wouldn't be missing out on anything.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Atonement

What I Guessed It Was About: Pride & Prejudice but set a little bit later. (I don't have a lot of faith in Joe Wright's versatility, it seems).

How I Came Into It: Any poster art I've seen for this looks like the epitome of a period piece. I wasn't sure what it would be about, but I knew the characters would be dressed for it.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I quite like this cast. This isn't the best work I've seen from Kiera Knightley or James McAvoy, but it is good work. I'm not sure if I agree that 13-year-old Saoirse Ronan was Oscar nominee good either. It's a hell of an introduction for her though. It's nice to see Juno Temple and Benedict Cumberbatch too. The art direction is as good as you'd expect for a Joe Wright film. The ending with an old Briony revealing the true ending of her story was quite touching.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I don't know how this filled two hours. I watched it and kept waiting for something to happen and it never did. Briony as a kid misunderstands a few things, incorrectly accuses Robbie of rape, feels bad about it for an hour, then reveals the truth about the fallout from that. It's a good looking movie, but with a story that must've worked much better as a book.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend