Delayed Reaction: Arthur

The Pitch: A drunk millionaire tries to get out of his arranged marriage.

Some movies don't make sense on paper. Like Arthur. Trying to describe the movie, it's hard to make Arthur sound likable. He's a spoiled, alcoholic millionaire who has to marry the beautiful daughter of his father's business acquaintance or else he's cut out of the will. The movie opens with him picking up a prostitute and making an ass out of himself everywhere he goes.

And that's where casting [and writing] matters. I can't imagine anyone other than Dudley Moore playing the role, because he makes Arthur so much more lovable than he should be able to be. Moore mastered the "man-child" role  25 years before Judd Apatow redirected the comedy scene with that character type. I'm not sure how much of the likability is that laugh of Moore's or his unrelenting British-ness. I'm pretty sure the biggest reason that character works is because John Gielgub's Hobson tolerates him. It's a classic case of "he likes him, so I can too". It's a simplistic but effective character-building tool. I haven't seen Liza Minelli in much other than her more recent work, but her role in Arhtur is well-suited for her.

Oh, and "Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do)" has been happily stuck in my head for several days now. I really can't argue with that song being an Oscar winner.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

June Movie Preview

I'll go ahead and say it. May was a bust. The couple big movies that came out were underwhelming and the art-house circuit didn't offer much. Thankfully, the release schedule is cyclical and June is stacked.

2017
 Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May  
2016
Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | June | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec  
2015

Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | June | Jul | Aug | Sept | Oct | Nov | Dec 

2014

Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec

2013

Mar |  Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec

6/2

Wonder Woman
The origin story of Wonder Woman in the days of WWI.
Working For It: DC is getting off the world-building express lane and making a standalone film. In doing so, they are finally beating Marvel to the punch at something: making a film with a female protagonist as the main character. Gal Gadot was arguably the best part of Batman vs. Superman. Chris Pine looks like a great sidekick. This is the most excited I've been for a DC movie since Chris Nolan was still directing them. Also, WWI is an under-served time period.
Working Against It: I spend too much time worrying about directors for these major studio tentpoles. Patty Jenkins has stayed busy with TV movies and shows since she last directed a feature film (2003's Monster). These indie directors moving to $100 million budgets have been a mixed bag so far (Jurassic World, Fantastic Four). That's the closest thing to a liability, and that isn't much. I'm not very worried.
Verdict: This shouldn't be missed.

Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie
Two students hypnotize their principal into believing he's Capt. Underpants: a superhero they created.
Working For It: As always, Dreamworks has assembled an impressive voice cast (Kevin Hart, Thomas Middleditch, Ed Helms, Jordan Peele, Kristen Schaal, etc.). Director David Soren has directed for Dreamworks before (Turbo). The screenplay is from Nicholas Stoller who is better known for writing and directing assorted Apatow/Rogen movies as well as The Muppets movies. The credentials are almost the Platonic ideal for Dreamwork Animation.
Working Against It: Stoller is not without blemishes as a screenwriter (Gulliver's Travels, Fun with Dick and Jane). Capt. Underpants is not a property that appeals to all ages. There's a fine line between a family film and a kids film. This appears to be firmly on the kids film side.
Verdict: Not worth it.

Band Aid [Limited]
A couple (Zoe Lister-Jones and Adam Pally) try to save their marriage by writing and performing songs about their fights.
Working For It: Lister-Jones wrote and directed this as well. You may remember her as Schmidt's politician girlfriend on New Girl or from Life in Pieces. She's assembled an impressive cast of "TV All Stars" (Fred Armisen, Brooklyn Decker, Jamie Chung, Hannah Simone, Erinn Hayes, and I could keep going). It's a Sundance movie and I have a well-documented soft spot for those. It looks quite charming.
Working Against It: This could fall into the same tonal and content traps that a lot of these indie movies fall into. There's no guarantee that Lister-Jones will bring anything to the direction (I feel much better about her as a writer). She's called in a lot of her friends/former-coworkers for this. Sometimes that's great. Other times, it's a sign that no one else was willing to be in the film, which is a little more worrisome. Regardless, I'm interested.
Verdict: This looks Netflix perfect.

Dean [Limited]
Demitri Martin plays an illustrator who leaves New York for L.A. rather than dealing with the death of his mother.
Working For It: As the writer/director, this looks perfectly aligned with Martin's specific sense of humor. Gillian Jacobs plays the love interest and Kevin Kline is Martin's father. That bit of casting piques my interest.
Working Against It: Pretty much what I said about Band Aid applies here. First time director. Indie movie. It could be a charming debut (In A World, Sleepwalk with Me) or a noble mess (God's Pocket).
Verdict: Less immediately appealing than Band Aid but probably still Netflix gold.

Past Life [Limited]
German film about two sisters in Berlin in the 1970s who learn about awful things their father did during the War.
Working For It: I don't recognize any of the actors or the director. Everyone tied to this seems accomplished enough. If I'm being honest, I included this because the trailer says that this is from Samuel Goldwyn productions and Orion Pictures, both of which I thought went away two decades ago.
Working Against It: They pushed the "based on a true story" angle hard. I've kind of had my fill of WWII/Holocaust stories by now, right?
Verdict: I've got a lot of other Samuel Goldwyn and Orion movies to catch up on first.

The Recall [Limited]
Wesley Snipes helps some young people stop an alien invasion deep in the woods.
Working For It: If the Wesley Snipes with a sense of humor shows up, this could be fun. It's not a high budget movie, but it looks good enough. That makes sense, because the director has worked in the art department for some huge films.
Working Against It: When Wesley Snipes and RJ Mitte (Walt Jr. from Breaking Bad) are the top billed stars in a 2017 movie, you know it's low budget. This looks like one of those horror parody movies like Tucker and Dale vs. Evil or Cabin in the Woods, except it's not playing for laughs.
Verdict: I've already forgotten about this movie.

Vincent N Roxxy [Limited]
Two strangers in a small town (Emile Hirsch and Zoe Kravitz) fall in love and try to get past the violence in their past and future.
Working For It: I like Hirsch and Kravitz in most things. It's got Zoey Deutch too. The trailer is plastered with film festival selections and awards. The marketing department wants to make it clear that this is just a generic Alpha Dog/Havoc story.
Working Against It: The director is one of those guys who has worked for several years, and I haven't heard of anything he's done. This appears to be his big break. The trailer make this look pretty generic, although it does seem like the kind of movie that doesn't get its strengths across in a trailer very well.
Verdict: It could be fun. No urgency to see it.

6/9

The Mummy
A mummy tries to destroy the world or something.
Working For It: I think we can all agree that plot is pretty secondary for this. It's Tom Cruise vs. Sofia Boutella as the mummy. Boutella is slowly making a name for herself with physical roles in movies like Kingsman and Star Trek Beyond. It also has Russell Crowe as a professor, Jake Johnson, Annabelle Wallis, and Courtney B. Vance. You can nearly piece together the story based on the casting alone and the types of parts each actor normally plays. This is Universal's first big play for their movie-monster extended universe. Even though prolific producer Alex Kurtzman hasn't directed anything this big before, I'm not worried. This is more of a producer's film anyway and he definitely knows how to function as that.
Working Against It: I get worried about any of these $100 million movies with no clear plot in the ad campaign. It can't be all about the spectacle, or if it is, it needs to be done at a very high level. I'm not convinced yet.
Verdict: I'm a sucker for an event film. It's worth seeing in theaters even though I'm not very optimistic.

It Comes At Night
In a remote forest, a mysterious creature terrorizes some unsuspecting outsiders.
Working For It: The ad campaign isn't giving much away, which is great for not spoiling the surprise, but can hurt with building the hype. I have very little idea what this is about. Mainly I'm relying on casting Joel Edgerton (and to a lesser extent, Christopher Abbott, Carmen Ejogo, and Riley Keough) and the fact that it's from A24. In general, I love what A24 has released. Their 2016 horror movies like The Witch and Green Room were quite good. This probably will be too.
Working Against It: I don't think there's enough of a hook to pair with the mystery. For all I know, this could be exceptional. I just don't know.
Verdict: More than likely, this is something to save for Halloween.

Megan Leavey
A female Marine tries to reunite with her combat dog.
Working For It: I like Kate Mara. I like dogs.
Working Against It: How is this not Max? Look, I saw A Dog's Purpose in theaters. I'm a fan of dog movies. Does there need to be a second movie about a heroic Marine dog? I'm leaning toward "no".
Verdict: Hard pass.

Beatriz at Dinner [Limited]
Salma Hayek is a Mexican healer who get invited to a dinner party with insufferable white elitists, one played by John Lithgow in particular.
Working For It: Salma Hayek, John Lithgow, Connie Britton, Chloe Sevigny, Amy Landecker, and Jay Duplass are a group of actors I would like to watch verbally dance around one another for 90 minutes. Screenwriter Mike White is perfect for this kind of the squirm-inducing screenplay. Director Miguel Arteta (The Good Girl) has the right touch to handle the topic. It's a Sundance movie too. That always helps.
Working Against It: I run hot and cold on Mike White's scripts. John Lithgow appears to be giving a committed performance for a character that I can barely put up with in the 2 minute trailer. I'm not sure I can make it through a while movie of him.
Verdict: I'm ready to ignore this one.

The Hero [Limited]
An aging Western star (Sam Elliott) comes to terms with the waning days of his career.
Working For It: In a case of life reflecting art, this is the best role Sam Elliott has had in as long as I can remember. I love that Nick Offerman plays his friend (Eagleton Ron and Pawnee Ron). Krysten Ritter, Laura Prepon, and Katharine Ross seem to have good roles too. I was going to chastise this for being yet another movie with a creepy romantic age gap (Elliott and Prepon, 36 years), but I'm holding back some, because Brett Haley's last movie, I'll See You in My Dreams, did the reverse of that, I believe. So, at least it's equal opportunity.
Working Against It: I'm not sure I see new shades to the "aging celebrity looking for meaning" story in this one. I could be wrong.
Verdict: How often are you really in a Sam Elliott mood?

My Cousin Rachel [Limited]
An Elizabethan revenge drama about a man who falls in love with the mysterious woman he believes is responsible for his guardian's death.
Working For It: I like to believe that Rachel Weisz was cast in the role because of her name matches. Regardless, I love her in just about anything. It also has Holliday Granger who I keep expecting break out in something.
Working Against It: Sam Claflin is one of those British actors who I forget as soon as he's off the screen. I can't say for sure if I like or dislike him as a performer for that reason (although it sure indicates one over the other). Roger Mitchell is a director with a very scattered filmography (including Morning Glory, Changing Lanes, and Notting Hill). I can't say that I'm aware of him taking on anything like this before.
Verdict: Soft pass.

6/16

47 Meters Down
Two women get stuck in a shark cage at the bottom of the ocean and have to get back to the surface without becoming victims of the circling great white sharks.
Working For It: This is outright an underwater Open Water and probably owes its wide release to the success of The Shallows last year. The two woman are Mandy Moore (getting a This is Us career boost) and Clare Holt (of ABC Family and CW fame). The biggest thing hurting my chances of seeing this is an actual fear of this happening.
Working Against It: Other than some questions about the story mechanics needed to set this premise up seeming a little sensational, I mainly worry because I couldn't name a single one of the writer/director's other movies.
Verdict: I'm going to let someone else tell me it's worth seeing.

All Eyez on Me
A Tupac Shakur biopic.
Working For It: I assume the success of Straight Outta Compton secured the nationwide summer release for this. Tupac has been turned into such a legend that a straightforward biopic could be nice to see. I don't recognize much of the cast, partly because they cast some newcomers and partly because Hollywood doesn't make a lot of room for young minority actors. So, I can't hold my unfamiliarity against them.
Working Against It: The standard biopic formula is getting pretty stale. The ads promise that it's the untold story of Tupac, but it looks pretty familiar.
Verdict: I have little desire to see this but not a stubborn desire not to.

Cars 3
Lightning McQueen fights becoming obsolete when a new generation of cars try to replace him.
Working For It: They are thankfully moving the focus back to McQeen and away from Mater. Pixar almost always delivers a good product, even if recent sequels have been a mixed bag.
Working Against It: Cars 2 is my least favorite Pixar movie by a healthy margin. Even Pixar execs would admit that Cars 3 exists because of massively successful merchandising that their other movies lack (except for Toy Story, obviously).
Verdict: I'm really tempted to skip this but I probably won't.

Rough Night
A bachelorette party goes horribly wrong when the male stripper dies in an accident.
Working For It: The central cast is a terrific mix of comedy people (Kate McKinnon, Jillian Bell, Ilana Glazer), non-comedy people (Zoe Kravitz), and a lead who has dabbled in comedy (Scarlett Johansson). It's from one of the Broad City directors. Thanks to the success of films like Bridesmaids and Bad Moms, hopefully films like this will be more common.
Working Against It: It looks like a mix of The Hangover, Very Bad Things, and Weekend at Bernie's. I worry some about the originality.
Verdict: The reviews would have to be savage for me to not give this a chance.

The Book of Henry [Limited]
Naomi Watts is raising a genius son who wants to help the neighbor girl who is being abused by her stepfather.
Working For It: At first, this looked an awful lot like Gifted from earlier this year. Then it reveals itself to be more like Disturbia. It's interesting that this is what Colin Trevorrow chose as his follow-up to Jurassic World.
Working Against It: I'm too used to suburban thrillers disappointing me (See: The Good Neighbor).
Verdict: Probably not worth it.

I, Daniel Blake [Limited]
I covered this a while back. My opinion hasn't changed.

Maudie [Limited]
A Nova Scotian woman becomes a semi-famous painter and falls for the gruff loaner (Ethan Hawke) she works for.
Working For It: It looks like a sweet little movie. I like Hawkins and Hawke (Ha, I just noticed that).
Working Against It: The plot seems inconsequential and the rest of the charms of the film aren't conveyed well enough in the trailer to really drum up my interest.
Verdict: I'll probably forget about it before I get a chance to see it.

6/23

Transformers: The Last Knight
More Transformers, this time, after they've destroyed the world.
Working For It: I LOVE the first movie unapologetically. I think it's a simple and effective action movie. A lot of the Michael Bay hate out there is pretty lazy and reflexive*. I actually quite enjoyed his last non-Transformers movie (Pain & Gain). Mark Wahlberg is a good lead for this kind of action movie, and he's surrounded by a good enough cast to make this work.
*It's like making fun of Nickelback. Sure, they aren't great and are more popular than they "deserve". They are still around because they've managed what talent they have effectively. There's skill in that.

Working Against It: A decade since the first film Bay and company have lost the thread of what I enjoyed about these in the first place. They keep making these movies bigger and bigger until the stakes stop mattering at all. Despite four sequels, I couldn't tell you what this cinematic universe is about. What really bothers me is this: when in the trailer do any of them actually transform? C'mon Transformers. You had one job to do.
Verdict: I'm going to see it because I've seen all of these in theaters and I'm going to hate myself for it.

The Bad Batch [Limited]
A woman moves through a cannibal post-apocalyptic wasteland.
Working For It: I don't know what to make of it. This looks like a cousin of Quinten Tarantino or Robert Rodriguez's films but with more visual flair. Suki Waterhouse traverses through this world that includes Keanu Reeves, Jason Mamoa, Jim Carrey, Diego Luna, and Giovanni Ribisi. It looks strange.
Working Against It: It looks strange to the point of being off-putting. I could see this being either really good or a complete slog.
Verdict: I don't know. Maybe. Probably. I doubt in theaters, but eventually.

The Beguiled [Limited]
An injured Civil War soldier is taken in at a girl's school and things take a turn for the worse.
Working For It: Directed by Sofia Coppola. Starring Kirsten Dunst, Nicole Kidman, Elle Fanning, Colin Farrell, Oona Laurence (Pete's Dragon), and Angourie Rice (The Nice Guys). This is the second adaptation of this novel. The first was a 1970's Clint Eastwood film. I've very excited and curious about this one.
Working Against It: As much as I like Sofia Coppola's films, I haven't seen a lot of them. I don't know why.
Verdict: I'll be seeking this one out as soon as it expands to a theater near me.

The Big Sick [Limited]
A Pakistani man bonds with his recent ex-girlfriend's family after she goes into a coma.
Working For It: This was the hit of Sundance. Married couple Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon co-wrote the script. It stars Nanjiani in what looks like a star-making performance. It also has Zoe Kazan as the ex-girlfriend and Holly Hunter and Ray Romano as her parents. Director Michael Showalter hasn't directed a lot, but I thoroughly enjoyed his 2005 film, The Baxter.
Working Against It: It's maybe a little too similar looking to While You Were Sleeping. Different enough though.
Verdict: I'm seeing this. Done.

6/30

Baby Driver
A young getaway driver is forced into one last job before he leaves that life behind.
Working For It: It's an Edgar Wright film (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, The World's End), which should be enough to convince you. The trailer looks stylish, fun, and funny, full of interesting characters.
Working Against It: I suppose some people don't like Wright's films. I know I'm not as crazy about them as some people. I still like his work a lot though.
Verdict: In what looks like a pretty strong month, this is what I'm looking forward to the most.

Amityville: The Awakening
Another story of the haunted Amityville house.
Working For It: They assembled a decent cast (Bella Thorne, Jennifer Morrison, Cameron Monaghan, Jennifer Jason Leigh) for a fairly generic movie.
Working Against It: Oh, the PG-13 studio horror movie. Do you ever cease to disappoint? For horror ro work, I need to know it's not holding anything back. PG-13 conflicts with that.
Verdict: Hard pass.

Despicable Me 3
Gru is pulled back into a life of crime by his twin brother.
Working For It: The franchise is Illumination's hitmaker, and they put more and more into each film. I have no reason to believe this won't be as good as the first two films (or Minions).
Working Against It: I hate the Minions! For some unspeakable reason, I forced myself to see Minions in theaters. I did my time. I refuse to do that again.
Verdict: Good god, no.

The House
Amy Poehler and Will Ferrell start a casino at their house in order to pay for their daughter's college tuition.
Working For It: With Poehler and Farrell as the parents, how can I say no to this? And it's written and directed by one of the writers of Neighbors.
Working Against It: This looks more like Sisters than Neighbors and Sisters underwhelmed me. Hopefully, that's the exception.
Verdict: It looks like this will be a two movie weekend for me.

The Little Hours [Limited]
Alison Brie and Aubrey Plaza as profane nuns.
Working For It: If that last line didn't do it for you, I don't know what to say. It's an ensemble comedy cast. It looks raunchy and hilarious. It's a Sundance movie, which only increases my esteem for it. Even if the trailer only existed as a Funny or Die sketch, I would be happy with that.
Working Against It: Perhaps I'm over-hyping it in my mind.
Verdict: When is this expanding to a theater near me?

Delayed Reaction: Search Party

The Pitch: The Hangover meets We're the Millers

There's this type of low budget comedy movie that pulls from the same pool of actors. Movies like Get a Job, Joshy, and Someone Marry Barry. For all of them, I feel like some form of the phone call "Let's get the gang back together. See who's available" happens. Search Party is another of those movies. Luckily, I'm a fan of this group of actors. So, when I see a trailer with TJ Miller, Adam Pally, Thomas Middleditch, and Alison Brie all in a movie together, I'm looking for a release date*. Then I find out that Shannon Woodward, JB Smooth, Lance Reddick, Krysten Ritter, Rosa Salazar, Jason Mantzoukas, and John Glaser are in it too. Even the names that don't fit with the others sound like fun.

*I've also noticed these movies have trouble getting released. Search Party was filmed in 2013, almost a year before Miller and Middleditch teamed up for Silicon Valley. It wasn't released in the US until 2016.

I've said before that these Delayed Reactions aren't meant to be reviews. Sometimes, that's what they end up being. Normally, they are some thought I had about the movie. Without a doubt, the most remarkable thing about this movie is getting the full Middleditch. The man is naked a lot in this movie. Full frontal. I wasn't expecting that.

Now, I have a complicated opinion about male nudity. I have nothing against it in principal. There's a massive imbalance between male vs. female nudity in movies**. That's undeniable. As a matter of equity, there should be more male nudity (or less nudity overall, if you want to go in that direction). If you sat me down and said "there's going to be nudity in the movie you are about to see. What kind would you prefer?" My pick would be 'female' in most cases, just as it would be 'male' for other people. So, I can't sincerely say that I'm bothered to see more female nudity than male nudity in movies. Then again, I admit that there's entirely too much male gaze in nearly all visual media, and much of the nudity feels more than a little exploitative. And, there's also the fact on the other end of things, the only acceptable male nudity is when it's used for comedy, because the MPAA is dumb and  puritanical. I'm only touching the surface of this discussion, but what I'm trying to say in regards to Search Party, is "good on Thomas Middleditch for committing to the part". The role requires that he be naked in Mexico and he is naked in Mexico. No clever camera angles. Just a lack of clothing.

**Even then, there's debate. For women, it's boobs or vagina. For men, it's penis. That means there's a lot more that counts as female nudity. I still see more vagina in movies than penis, but the imbalance isn't as crazy in that - pardon the pun - tit for tat comparison. Is there a male equivalent for boobs, really?

The movie itself is decent. TJ Miller is toned down enough. Adam Pally plays the straight man well. Middleditch commits to whatever is asked of him. The rest of the cast is underutilized but not used poorly. I saw it alone and I get the feeling that the jokes land much better in a group setting***. I would love it if we could get to a point when a movie with a cast like this could get a major theatrical release that wouldn't bomb in theaters. Until that happens, I'm just happy they are all willing to work on these pet projects.

***Side thought: I see far too many comedies by myself. I need to remedy that.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Baywatch

Formula: 21 Jump Street - the commitment to the jokes.

Before talking about the Baywatch movie, it's good to remind yourself of what this is based on. Baywatch was a 90s beach series that was cancelled by NBC after one season then went on to become a global phenomenon producing the next 10 seasons in syndication. It rejuvinated the career of David Hasselhoff and made Pamela Anderson the sex icon of the 90s. It was known for sexy lifeguards running in slow-motion and not much else. The number of cast members that also had Playboy pictorials is mind boggling. I don't think there's a person alive who watched the show for the writing or acting. In other words, the Baywatch movie haa very little to live up to.

That's why the 21 Jump Street comparison is so obvious. Both shows are from the same era and are remembered as punchlines. The 21 Jump Street movie came out of nowhere as one of the funniest movies of the last few years by casting some recognizable names and not taking itself at all seriously. Baywatch takes a different approach. It decides that it is a cool action movie first and a meta comedy second.

The plot is pretty simple. The veteran lifeguards, affable Lt. Mitch Buchannon (Dwayne Johnson), 2nd-in-command Stephanie Holden (Ilfenesh Hadera), and always-running-in-slow-motion CJ Parker (Kelly Rohrbach) welcome a new batch of recruits: defiant bad boy Matt Brody (Zac Effron), ideal pupil Summer Quinn (Alexandra Daddario), and perseverant goof Ronnie Greenbaum (Jon Bass). They get caught up trying to stop a drug operation run by one of the resort owners (Priyanka Chopra). Mitch and Matt butt heads. Ronnie has a crush on CJ. Matt and Summer are probably going to end up together. There's a captain telling them all to leave the case alone (because they are lifeguards, not cops). The movie is happy to constantly remind us of how absurd they are all being. The film repeatedly winks at the camera to tell us "We know this is ridiculous too". The problem is that it tries to have its cake and eat it too. Whenever the action starts, the comedy stops. In an instant, these lifeguards become the baddest mother-fuckers on the planet. I think the defense of doing that is that in those moments, the joke is that the movie is taking itself seriously, whereas the rest of the time it's being overly funny. In other words, half of this movie is 21 Jump Street and half of it is Airplane. Those two things don't jive. It's a brilliant built-in defense for the writing though: when a scene is funny, it's because it was meant to be funny. and when a scene isn't funny, it's because the joke is that it's not funny. 

There's a shocking number of punchlines that don't land. And, I don't mean that there's a lot of bad punchlines. I mean that there's a number of moments in which the line indicates that there's a joke, but the film doesn't leave a beat to punctuate the moment with laughter. Either it moves to a new scene before the joke can sink in or the scene continues like that wasn't a joke.  It's bizarre. I can't think of another movie with quite that problem.

I don't know how much of that to put on the cast either. It's no secret that this cast wasn't built for comedy. However, that doesn't mean they can't be funny. I go out of my way whenever I can to praise Johnson and Efron for giving it all they have in comedies like Pain & Gain and Central Intelligence or Neighbors and Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates. They aren't self-starters though. And, they play the same role in a comedy duo. They perform comedy like they are trying to be funny. There needs people to be someone who knows how to play-off that and there's no one like that in the cast. Bass isn't paired with anyone for laughs. He spends most of the film in his own world, delivering punchlines to thin air. That's fine, but it doesn't help the ensemble. I think Rohrbach, Hadera, and especially Daddario have chops, but they aren't asked to do much more than look good in bathing suits. I think all of them have the potential to be really good in a comedy movie (some already have been). In this case, they were failed by the writing and a questionable casting strategy. Perhaps the directing too. There just isn't a lot I found redeeming about this film. It's like the six credited writers (screenplay or story by) wrote jokes for completely different comedy movies, then director Seth Gordon was told to shoot a serious action movie, and the actors were told to split the difference.

I went into Baywatch prepared to give a contrarian Reaction for it, despite the poor RottenTomatoes numbers. I was going to find the silver lining and say things like "The Rock made his part work by force of will" or "Efron and Daddario have such an infectious chemistry that it didn't matter if the jokes didn't always land". I wanted to admit that if I stopped comparing it to 21 Jump Street, I'd see that there's a perfectly fine comedy there. All that is a little true. It's not unwatchable by any means. There's some dick humor that other people in the audience got a big kick out of. I just don't think the film was very interested in being a comedy, and it doesn't work well enough as anything else to forgive that.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend 

Movie Reaction: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Formula: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl + a couple decades.

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get out of the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise at this point. The Curse of the Black Pearl is one of my favorite movies (Top 10 All-Time). It's one of those movies that I like so much that it feels like a magic trick. The action, the humor, and the characters are so well handled that I never get tired of watching it. I just saw it again last week and it holds up as well as I remembered. However, I don't think I've seen any of the sequels more than once.I just didn't care for them that much. I'm not one of those people who complain about sequels. I love a good sequel and the Pirates franchise is perfect for repeated adventures. I don't care for the direction the Pirates sequels have gone in so far. The humor is more silly and less clever. The action is bigger but not better staged. The great strength of The Curse of the Black Pearl is that Jack Sparrow forces himself into an otherwise traditional action movie. The version of that movie you'd expect is the young protagonist (Will Turner) fights the evil Pirate Captain (Hector Barbosa) to rescue the woman he loves (Elizabeth Swann). Jack Sparrow is essentially a supporting character (the comic relief) who forces his way into the center of everything. Instead, all the sequels have started with the idea that this is Jack Sparrow's movie and are written to fit that. As a result, the magic is lost.The series is still good popcorn entertainment though, and Dead Men Tell No Tales (DMTNT, for short) continues that.

Set a couple years after On Stranger Tides, DMTNT unites a trio that looks very similar to the one in Curse of the Black Pearl. There's Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), down on his luck after years of failed pirating ventures. He is sought after by Henry Turner (Benton Thwaites) the now adult son of Will Turner, who is trying to free his father from the curse of the Queen Anne's Revenge. They pick up Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario), a young believer in science (who is repeatedly called a witch) motivated on a quest by the one souvenir she has from a father she never met. They seek to find Poseidon's Trident, which, legend says has the power to break any curse. Meanwhile, the cursed Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem) wants revenge on Sparrow and forces Capt. Barbosa (Geoffrey Rush) to help him. There are a lot of similarities to Curse of the Black Pearl which makes this feel like a soft reboot of the franchise. It's an engaging enough story. The Pirates cinematic universe isn't as coherent as some of the others out there, but it's functional. My casual memory of the last three installments was enough to follow what was going on.

The series has some character problems at this point. No one appears to have a clue whether Capt. Jack is a cunning and clever pirate of legend or Forrest Gump, lucking his was through every situation. I'm sorry, but we've established that Jack is the hero of the franchise by now. There's no tension in wondering if he's going to do the right thing anymore. It's a little insulting to the audience to think we'll fall for the "only looking out for #1" act again. I'm glad to see Brenton Thwaites getting another chance. After Oculus, Maleficent, and The Giver in 2014 didn't make him a star, I thought Hollywood was giving up on him (like Taylor Kitsch after 2012). This wasn't a great showcase for him though. He's essentially Will Turner without the blacksmith and swordsman skills. Kaya Scodelario (The Maze Runner) doesn't fare much better. She spends most of the movie like some sort of  Caribbean Agent Scully, telling anyone who will listen that she believes in science, not myth. The Pirates of the Caribbean world is not one in which you want anyone to be bringing up plausibility. That invites more questions than answers. Having a scientist in Pirates is like Star Wars explaining midichlorians. Will and Elizabeth were not the most dynamic characters in the first Pirates movie, but the movie does justify their romance. I cannot say the same about Henry and Carina. Their romance is forced into the story. Bardem provides a fine villain. The only problem with him is that I didn't believe for a second that he wouldn't be stopped by Jack Sparrow and company. That's forgivable.

Over the last year or so, I've picked up a new pet peeve. I don't like when I don't know what's going on in an action sequence or when it doesn't seem very well thought out. So, DMTNT perturbed me. The film begins with a massive set piece involving a failed bank heist. A lot of money and resources went into filming this. It's lively and a lot of fun. It also doesn't make any sense. From the perfectly wide streets to the Herculean power of the horses to Jack's ability to keep up with the moving target while also meeting major players in the film by complete coincidence, it's all too much. Later, there's some cartoonish business with a guillotine which I just plain don't understand at all. The climactic sequence is sufficiently big but it's also disorienting. I tracked the action only because I know the beats of a movie like this already (i.e. I knew who was and wasn't actually in peril and who's vendettas needed to be handled). However, the geography of where the characters are at any moment is hard to follow. Say what you will about Curse of the Black Pearl, but everything that happened felt possible.

This May has been overflowing with B-grade efforts: movies that are perfectly fine, but the execution isn't there to make them great. They relied too much on what previous installments did well before or what audiences already knew about the stars. BMTNT is another case of this. It's an animated two hours with a clear story arc. A few moments got an emotional response from me the same way that a dog dying in any movie, good or bad, will wreck my entire day. The scores for the Pirates movies are still among my all-time favorites. It's a collection of actors having a lot of fun with their roles. It's hard to be bored by that. This is no worse than any of the other Pirates sequels, so let that be your barometer going in. I liked this movie, but Curse of the Black Pearl remains the only film in the series I plan to revisit. One encouraging thing I can say for any future sequels - and there will at least be a sixth installment - is that all the problems are in execution. Unlike other franchises which salt the Earth for later installments, there's no reason why the next movie couldn't be exceptional.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend 

After the Credits:

(Some thoughts for if you've seen the movie)

I assume that this time they are killing off Barbosa for good. Regardless, the fact that they've brought him back from the dead once already sure does mute the impact in DMTNT. And I can't be the only one irritated by the long-lost daughter story, right? That's textbook "movie math" at work. They introduce a new female and she has to have a significant past. Jack and Barbosa are old enough. Jack needs to be able to hit on her, so that leaves Barbosa to be the father. It makes the whole universe feel very small.

Delayed Reaction: The Long Riders

The Pitch: Four sets of actual brothers play four sets of brothers for a James-Younger gang story.

The Jesse James story has been done to death. No one is going to argue with that. I've seen many of the more recent stories: the excellent The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford and the entirely forgettable American Outlaws. Jesse James, the character has over a hundred credits on IMDB. In short, we know the story.

So, if I'm to be enticed by yet another Jesse James story, there needs to be a hook. The Long Riders has one of the most successful gimmicks I've ever come across: they cast brothers for all the roles: James and Stacy Keach, David and Keith (and Robert) Carradine, Dennis and Randy Quaid, Christopher and Nicholas Guest. And it does appear to part of a studio scheme. Basically, the brothers all wanted to work together, so they did. That alone makes this pretty interesting. Nearly 40 years later, what's impressive is that all those brothers are still pretty recognizable names (Stacy more than James, Christopher more than Nicholas, etc. but still).

The problem is that the gimmick also gets in the way. There's a few too many characters and stories to keep up with. At some point, I gave up really trying to track what's going on with each of the 8-9 brothers. (It probably doesn't help that the characters I knew the most about going in - Jesse James and Robert Ford - were played by the two actors I recognized the least - Stacy Keach and Nicholas Guest). Once it gets to the botched Northfield robbery and the falling apart of the James-Younger gang, I enjoyed it a lot.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The BFG

The Pitch: Roald Dahl doesn't have enough movie adaptations. There should be another one about that giant. Not the peach. The big friendly one.

I'm going to be that guy. I hate being the guy who says this, but it applies here...
That movie was pretty dull.

Look, I love Stephen Spielberg. I think he is one of a masters at what he does. His work on kids movies is so impressive. He captures the whimsy of imagination better than just about anyone, and a lot of that is present in The BFG. He nails the tone. Sophie in the orphanage early on feels exactly as mysterious and menacing as I remember when I was a kid, still awake at 3am, when everyone else was asleep. The land of the giants looks and feels right. At no point is the movie not completely charming.

It sure meandered though. I only somewhat remember the story of the book, so I'm not sure how much of the dullness of the film is a function of the source material. There was just an odd pace to it all. For example, I couldn't believe how long the castle breakfast scene went on and so close to the end. I kept seeing how little time was left in the film and that scene kept going. When they finally neutralize the threat of  the other giants, it's an afterthought.

I don't like to be complaining about the pacing. So many movies follow the exact same story arc, with the same beats, the same impulses. It is refreshing that Spielberg decided to do something different. Perhaps if the characters or the humor worked for me a little more, I would've been on board with hanging out with them in this manner for long swaths of time. That said, Mark Rylance is delightful as the BFG. It just seems like he's having a lot of fun with the role. With some actors, when they do motion-capture, it seems like a chore for them. It doesn't with him in this. The little girl is fine for a 10 year old too.

It's a shame that Spielberg magic wasn't enough to sell me on the film. Even when I think about it, something like Hugo isn't all that eventful either, but I really enjoyed that movie. So, I'm either being a hypocrite or I still haven't pinpointed what didn't work for me in The BFG. Oh well.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Frank

The Pitch: Michael Fassbender is the leader of an eccentric pop band who wears a full-head mask all the time.

I see a lot of movies, however I wouldn't say I see a diverse mix of them. I don't see many foreign movies or movies older than me. I'm pretty mainstream in my tastes. Even the indie movies I see are in that "indie in budget only" category that still get a lot of big names attached to them. That makes it hard to discover a movie that I can feel pretty confident that I'll like it that I haven't seen before. Normally, I store this movies like acorns in the winter and pull them out whenever I get particularly despondent about the choices I have. Frank is one of these movies. It checks a lot of boxes. It's directed by Lenny Abrahamson, right before he made a little movie I loved called Room. It's got Michael Fassbender, sandwiched between two Oscar nominated performances in 12 Years a Slave and Steve Jobs, wearing a papier-mache* head nearly the whole time. There's Domhnall Gleeson, fresh off About Time, and preparing for a huge 2015 (Ex Machina, Brooklyn, The Force Awakens, The Revenant). I can't forget Maggie Gyllenhaal, who has eternal Stranger Than Fiction goodwill from me. It's a Sundance movie, and anyone who tracks my December Reactions in particular will know that I love to binge through what that fest has to offer.

*This is the first time I ever realized that it is 'papier-mache', not 'paper-mache'. Am I the only one who didn't know that?

The movie was about what I expected it would be. Sundance movies almost always have a short story feel, like this isn't the full story they wanted to tell. Frank feels like it has a little more that it wanted to do. Fassenbender gives an impressively complex performance, given that he's in a head mask nearly the whole time. The rest of the band is gung-ho on playing up the weirdness. Special shout out to Maggie Gyllenhaal who has a lot of fun playing angry. Gleeson is mostly just responding to the world of Frank's band but he's also trying to understand it. He's used to being the oddball outsider in town, and suddenly he's the traditional, bland one in the group. It's great seeing how he tries to process that and how even the lightest of dabbling in Frank's affairs can throw off the entire balance of the group. It's a shame that the story didn't know what it was building toward and peters out in the third act. I do love Frank's song at the end though. It has been periodically stuck in my head over the last few days. The movie is definitely more clever than funny, but its charms and quirks are plentiful enough to sustain the weaker parts. I enjoyed this, even when I wasn't sure what I was watching.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: All the President's Men

The Pitch: You remember Watergate, right? It happened, like 2-3 years ago. It sounds like a good movie idea.

Did Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford really not get Oscar nominations for this? That doesn't seem possible. I decided to look into that and realized that this was the same year as Network which managed 2 nominations in the lead actor field, not to mention Stallone for Rocky, which won Best Picture, and Robert De Niro for Taxi Driver. In fact, the only nominee I didn't recognize was Giancarlo Giannini for Seven Beauties. Had the Hoffman and Redford roles been combined, a Lead Actor nomination would've been a lock. They must've split their odds, because other people were nominated from All the President's Men. In fact, Jason Robards was the only non-Network actor to win an award that night*.

*It's taking everything I've got to not go into a rant about how I don't get all the Network love.

It was impossible for me to separate this in my mind from Spotlight. It should be the other way around since this came first, but it happens. There's something romantic about the grizzled newspaper writer. Always on the beat, always chasing a new lead. Like police, without the resources. Find me a newspaper editor with rolled up sleeves, and I guarantee that's someone who is going to put in some work. I don't even care if that's the was newspaper people really are like. I've bought into the notion and, when done well, movies about them are pretty entertaining. Hell, even The Paper was engaging.

I do think the movie plays differently depending on your familiarity with the Watergate scandal. I know the basics, but not much. This film came out a couple years after it and throws a lot of names and facts at you. It was work keeping up with the names and details of the investigation. I like when a movie doesn't spoonfeed the information. I am curious if a lot of this was assumed knowledge at the time for anyone going into the movie or if people in 1976 were similarly being educated.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Modern Times

The Pitch: Charlie Chaplin isn't quite ready to make a full talkie yet.

There's not a comparison these days to the context in which Modern Times was released. By 1936, "talkies" had taken over pretty completely. Even as a hybrid film, Modern Times must've felt very dated in the Tramp's final act. Then again, it wasn't like The Artist coming out in 2011. It wasn't a novelty. It was a hold-out, like I imagine many black and white features were in the late 60s. People responded well enough though. Quality tends to find a way to stay relevant no matter what. There are some great physical gags like the assembly line and when the tramp gets stuck in the gears. That part looks both really fun and rife with ways to get injured. It's got the Tramp singing, which is unique. Paulette Goddard was a charming female lead. I look forward to seeing her in The Great Dictator as well.

I'll admit that I haven't developed the patience for silent films, or at least Chaplin's flavor of them. Despite not even being 90 minutes, like The Gold Rush, I got a little exhausted by the end. It felt more like a collection of physical gags than a story. That's on me though. I'll figure out how to watch these movies eventually. Perhaps I should move to Buster Keaton next, or finally get to Nosferatu.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend