Movie Reaction: Tulip Fever

Formula: (Girl with the Pearl Earring / Shakespearein Love) - Wall Street

It's a shame when a film has all the right pieces and just doesn't work. That's the narrative behind Tulip Fever. It has all the right individual parts. The screenplay was written by Deborah Moggach, who wrote the novel this was based on, and Tom 'effing Stoppard: two people who know how to write a 16th century European historical drama. It's directed by Justin Chadwick, who, while not the greatest director, has familiarity making period films. It was filmed in 2014, before people like Alicia Vikander and Cara Delevingne were known quantities. It featured rising talents like Jack O'Connell, Dane DeHaan, and Holliday Grainger as well as established veterans Christoph Waltz, Judi Dench, and Tom Hollander. It even made room for Zach Galigianakis in a token "I don't always have to be that guy from TheHangover" role. The film has gorgeous production design and costuming. By all measures, this should be a good movie.

Alas, it just doesn't work.

The film is set in the Netherlands in the 16th century. It tells the story of Sophia (Alicia Vikander), an orphan who is essentially sold into a marriage to a wealthy older man, Cornelis (Christoph Waltz). He desperately wants a child and can't seem to have one with Sophia. At one point, Cornelis hires a painter (Dane DeHaan) to paint portraits of him and his wife. Sophia begins and affair with the painter. Meanwhile, Sophia's maid, Maria (Holliday Grainger) becomes pregnant just as her fiance goes missing. Sophia and Maria decide to pretend that Sophia, not Maria, is pregnant and raise Maria's child as hers and Cornelis'. Oh, and Maria's finance goes missing as a result of a mistaken identity and some bad breaks in the tulip market. The tulip market is important to the backdrop of the film. It's one of the first boom markets in history and incredibly volatile. Both the fiance and the painter get involved with tulip speculation and attempt to build fortunes. The film plays out from there, seeing how all the moving pieces come together and when.

If all that sounds like a lot, that's because it is. Somewhere inside this movie is a story of love, lust, and lies that mixes in the unique details of this out of control tulip market to make something specific and compelling. That doesn't come together in the final product though. There's just too much going on. To tell the story as needed, the film would need to be at least half and hour to an hour longer, but that would make it all a terrible slog. As I mentioned, this was filmed in 2014 and the release has been delayed many times before finally landing in the latter part of 2017. I don't know the reasons for the delays, but it wouldn't surprise me if they were still editing it to see if any cut could make it all work. As is, nothing gets to develop naturally. This is one of the more plot-driven movies I've seen in a while. There's no romance between Vikander and DeHaan. He literally is sitting in his apartment one day, realizes he loves her while looking at his unfinished portrait of her, then races to begin the affair with her. It goes to 0 to 10  in an instant. Everything with the tulip market is very briefly explained and hard to follow. Late in the movie, DeHaan has to deliver a tulip bulb to a group of people he owes it to. I honestly have no idea what that was about. I'm not sure if he owes them money or if they are partners or something else. The final beat of that particular story requires knowledge of Galifianakis' character that has barely been developed until that point. How exactly DeHaan gets into the tulip business in the first place doesn't entirely make sense either. He's trying to rob a convent that grows the tulips, then the lead nun (Judi Dench) just decides to let him work there or something after catching him. I assume all this was technically explained at some point, but it was done so quickly that I missed it. I'm so thankful that I didn't have to go to the bathroom at any point, because I would've been lost by the time I returned. Some of the most key plot points rely on mistaken identities, bad timing, and lies that feel terribly contrived.

As a result of the excessive plottiness, there isn't a time  to build any of the characters all that well. I have no idea who Sophia is. She seems to hate her current situation, but I'm not sure what part of it. Does she hate her husband or is she just worried that he will get rid of her if she doesn't get pregnant or is she bored? I think she does love DeHaan's painter. She likes Cornelis, I think, but doesn't love him. Cornelis, I believe is supposed to be a good man but somewhat vain. Sophia and Maria as sweet or conniving as the story requires at a given point. Delevingne is a non-character, part of the tulip market who acts as a cover-all for the types of people one deals with there. Hollander is a doctor who is an ass to Vikander in their one meeting, then can be trusted with her biggest secret. Seriously, the characterization is this film is a mess.

Despite all that, I didn't really dislike the movie. Nothing in the story or plotting made me angry. The actors are generally giving good performances despite having thin characters. The film looks great, even if the whole town seems to exist on about two streets (i.e. limited sets). I'm intrigued by how the movie feels like one big unfinished puzzle. It reminds me of Tomorrowland a lot in that way. I get the feeling that there was a lot more shot or written for the film that didn't make it into the final cut, and there's an editor pulling his hair out trying to make it work. In the end, Tulip Fever doesn't accomplish any of its set goals. There isn't enough focus on the romance between Vikander and DeHaan to care for how that turns out. The difficulties of the fake (and real) pregnancy are skipped over too quickly to appreciate the effort put into the deceit. The tulip speculation is too technical to appreciate as any sort of thematic device. It's all to rushed in general to appreciate any of the beauty. Similar to the titular flower, the greatest thrill of the film is speculating what it could've been.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend