Delayed Reaction: Eragon

The Pitch: These books sold really well and they have a Lord of the Rings-y vide. Make this movie!

How I Came Into It: I've hated these books for years. Blindly, I admit. I refuse to read them. I was initially impressed by the author Christopher Paolini writing the book while still a teenager, then got very turned off when I found out that is was because he was able to take a year off to write it and his parents had connections to a publisher already. I was even more turned off to hear word like 'generic' and 'derivative' used by people who's opinions I trusted. This movie is one of the greatest tests to my "try to go in with an open mind" policy for movies and I can't say that I wasn't more than ready to start laying into it at the first sign of it being bad.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Then the movie started and I didn't even need to go in hating it to find things to pick at. Before I get to that, let me say that if you tell me the cast of a movie is going to include Rachel Weisz, Jeremy Irons, John Malkovich, and Djimon Hounsou, I'm generally going to expect good things. They...do what they can with this.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Where to begin? Ok, there is no doubt that the source material was written by a teenager because this is the lamest hero's journey I've ever seen. I don't think there was a single original thought in the world building, character, dialogue, or conflict. I hate when I'm watching a movie and I feel bad for the actors in it. Fantasy doesn't get more "by the numbers" than this. I'm actually tempted to read the books because they almost have to be better. They can't be worse. I have to believe that they can't be worse. What an awful movie. I'm done thinking about it.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend