Delayed Reaction: The Negotiator

The Pitch: Samuel L. Jackson is a negotiator who finds himself holding people hostage and - get this - needs a negotiator.

How I Came Into It: I believe this is what they call "vocational irony". There's always an apetite for good guys, backed into a corner taking hostages. It's such an easy conflict to make engaging.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I like Jackson and I like Kevin Spacey. I was raised on 90s thrillers like this so regardless of the quality of them, I'll always find them watchable.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This is like a dozen other 90s thrillers. The plot points might be different, but gaps in logic, sensationalism, twists, and performances are the same. Something like Jackson not actually killing the one hostage should be a surprise, but at no point did I doubt if he left him alive. That's a problem.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Weekly 10: 7/3-7/9

This was a pretty lame week in terms of new shows and movies. Thankfully, god and/or revenue streams created reruns.

Halt and Catch Fire "10Broad36"
Is it weird that I both think this is a strong season and hope that it doesn't get a third season? They've been doing a lot of great stuff this season. Cameron and Donna are somehow the emotional core of the show, which is fitting since they are the best characters by far. Joe is great this week, embracing being the antagonist even though he's really on Mutiny's side. I'm done with Gordon for now, so the more they keep him on the sidelines, the better.

The Leftovers
I finished rewatching the season and damn does it hold up. It's at times oppressive and deeply nihilistic. It's also darkly comedic with powerhouse performances from Carrie Coon ("Guest"), Christopher Eccleston ("Two Boats and a Helicopter"), Justin Theroux, and Amy Brenneman (Despite saying exactly one word for 9 of the 10 episodes). I love the hell out of this show!

Terminator Genisys
Since seeing it, I've felt that critics are using this a bit too much as a punching bag. It isn't a great movie. It has major flaws, no doubt. Still, there's things to like about it. The action scenes are competent and I actually thought Emilia Clarke does well in a role that Linda Hamilton casts a large shadow over.

Battlebots
Let's just run down this week's matches:
Bite Force over Hypershock decisively.
Lock-Jaw over Overhaul pretty easily.
Overdrive over Witch Doctor barely.
Tombstone over Radioactive quickly.

Roxanne
I'll have more to say about this whenever I get my delayed reaction up. This movie is charming as hell and one of my favorite Steve Martin roles.

True Detective "Maybe Tomorrow"
I should've known they wouldn't be bold enough to kill off Colin Farrell, and that's probably for the best. It's pretty clear that this season isn't coming out as strong as the first season but it is growing on me. I've already determined that the season will live and die by how it does by Rachel McAdams. Thankfully, I'm a big fan of shots of the LA freeway system, so that will hold me over for a while.

Review with Forrest MacNeil
Ok...um, I wasn't ready for "Best Friend; Space".
For the dozen people who have seen this show, you know what I'm referring to.
For the vast majority of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, all I can say is watch this and you'll know. This is a strange show: one that I very much enjoyed.

Parks & Recreation Season 7
I haven't even finished rewatching the season and already it's better than I remembered. You know in 2010 when Parks and Rec, Community, 30 Rock, and The Office were all on one night on NBC? I miss when NBC was so in the toilet that it could keep all of those on.

American Ninja Warrior
More inspirational stories. More me hoping all of those people will fall on their face. I stand by my stance that they need a comedian as one of the announcers.

What's Love Got to Do With It
They very smartly saved that for the end of the movie.

Delayed Reaction: Monster-in-Law

The Pitch: Jennifer Lopez goes toe-to-toe with the mother of her fiance played by - who - Jane Fonda? - Really? - I don't need to read a screenplay. Greenlight this movie.

How I Came Into It: I don't particularly like Jennifer Lopez although I've found her RomComs to be very watchable. I don't have the right viewing history to know why, but I am at least aware that Jane Fonda was a big "get" for this movie. I was expecting Maid in Manhattan-level entertainment.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Jane Fonda is solid, despite playing a familiar character type. Lopez gets to take charge of her character a lot more than the previews suggest (I was prepared for her to mostly be a Fonda punching bag). Wanda Sykes, as is her specialty, shakes things up by bringing it her Wanda Sykes-ness to it all.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: God, people were really into laying into Jennifer Lopez when this came out, weren't they? A couple years removed from Gigli, she still didn't get all the Ben Affleck off of her and rode this to a Razzie nomination. This isn't Razzie-bad. Nothing ever is. The award is more about where public ridicule is swaying at the time rather than finding the actual worst thing. Don't confuse this with an endorsement though. The movie isn't funny, clever, or well acted. It's just not unwatchable. When I say that this isn't even my favorite Jennifer Lopez RomCom, I want you to stop and think about the severity of that indictment.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Ernest Saves Christmas

The Pitch: Ernest Saves Christmas.

How I Came Into It: Ernest P. Worrell. That was a thing, for a long time. Crazy, right? He started by appearing in regional commercials and managed to expand that into nine movies (five released in theaters). That's amazing. There must be other cases of this happening, but I can't think of any. I remember loving Ernest Goes to Jail as a kid. Ok, "love" is a strong word. Rather, I was fascinated by it. Something about Ernest, when I was a kid, I couldn't look away. I never sought his movies out, so there's still a couple I had yet to see. This was a great opportunity to see how Jim Varney's shtick holds up.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Well, this was exactly how I remembered the character. KnowhutImean? He's still rubber-faced and wacky. Still tormenting poor Vern. Still hard to look away from. Ernest fits perfectly in a world where Santa Claus is real.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Whatever it is about Varney's performance that is so special also doesn't translate past adolescence, I'm afraid. It's a big and oafish performance. I can see the appeal to the right age bracket. I am oddly curious to go back and watch some of the commercials that made him famous. Maybe I'm not as over Ernest as I thought.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Rules of Engagement

What I Guessed It Was About: There's a near-war conflict going on somewhere. The Middle East is a safe guess. The movie follows land troops caught in the middle of something, trying to stay alive, and a general who keeps telling them not to engage. Tensions rise. I'm pretty sure that if I continue this guess any further, I'll turn it into Behind Enemy Lines, so I'll stop here.

The Pitch: Courage Under Fire, but we know what really happened.

How I Came Into It: This blended in with several other war movies from this period. Behind Enemy Lines is the main one I confused it with. There are much better comparisons I now realize. A couple times, I thought of The Rules of Attraction instead, which then lead me to Laws of Attraction...It's a cluster fuck of stream of consciousness.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Every once in a while I like a good reminder that every level of government is dominated by people more concerned with covering their ass than searching for the truth. Not knowing where the movie was going, I didn't make notes of all the specifics of the inciting event when it happened, so I felt like I was being interrogated by the movie as well. That was pretty cool (or a sign that I need to pay more attention when I'm watching movies. It's best not to dig too deeply into this).

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This has the unfortunate structure of the most exciting scene is at the beginning of the movie. Sure there's courtroom tension and outbursts as the movie carries on. It's a letdown though. There's no fixing it either. Like, say, The Impossible, it's the story they are telling. It's still good, but the build is more difficult.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: Terminator: Genisys

Formula: The Terminator * The Terminator - The Terminator ^ The Terminator / The Terminator + The Terminator

Why I Saw It: I like The Terminator

Cast: The film is populated by a mix of journeymen actors, up-and-comers, and veterans with the likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger (THE Terminator), Emilia Clarke (Game of Thrones), Jason Clarke (Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and no relation to Emilia, that I know of), Jai Courtney (I've seen far too much of his filmography - this, this, this, this, & this - to not have an opinion yet), J.K. Simmons (Whiplash, commercials, and everything else), and Matt Smith (Dr. Who).

Plot: Ok, let's give this a try. We start in the future, in the moment when John Connor (Jason Clarke) sends Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney) back to 1984 to protect his mother, Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke). For a while back in 1984, we see some familiar scenes from the original movie recreated. Then, things change. For a variety of reasons, I won't get into how things change, but here are the things you should know: Sarah is a badass already, Arnold is old but not obsolete, we haven't seen the last of John Connor, and the timeline is very different.

Thoughts:
Mileage will vary. The biggest determining factor for if you like this movie is how much you care about the mythology of the Terminator series. This is heavy on that. It leans into every Science Fiction element it can: time travel, alternate timelines, advanced technology. It's all there and historically, that's more niche than general audiences are ready to follow. What pulled me into these movies historically is the chase. The first two movies are great chase movies. This is not about the chase for very long. It's more of a ticking-clock, which interests me far less. In this case, the clock is a literal countdown and it's an arbitrary one.
This is clearly a summer action movie though. And it's a messy one. A little too messy for me. One of my major pet peeves is when chance becomes the star of a fight scene. When a character is hiding on one side of a wall and a blade comes through that wall, missing him by inches, that means the whole movie came down to dumb luck. The more times this happens without an explanation, the less interested I am. It wouldn't even take make to draw me back in. Add a beat to the scene where the character acknowledges the dumb luck and maybe I can forgive it. Don't play it straight though. Perhaps most people won't even notice this, but it's a major distraction for me.
All that said, there's a lot to like. I think Clarke does a wonderful job with Sarah Connor. It's both a great Linda Hamilton impression yet very much her own take on the character. I had concerns about if I'd be able to see her as anyone but Daenerys. She puts that to rest immediately. Arnold is still able to have a lot of fun with this role even if he's physically not there anymore. J.K. Simmons gets a refreshingly lighter role than he's normally given. I don't know the last time he played a genuinely nice and not imposing guy. He does it well. Jason Clarke has a thanklessly broad role that I forgive him for not pulling off. Jai Courtney I still haven't made up my mind about either in this or in general. I'll go ahead and say that he and Emilia Clarke have no chemistry. That isn't debatable.

Elephant in the Room: Can you explain how the new timeline works? No. I am not smart enough to understand the changes in the timeline. It's absolutely reached the point where any casual fan will be bewildered by tracking what's going on. I gets the broad strokes, enough to follow the movie, but that's about it. They've moved from one paradoxical timeline to infinite non-dependent timelines which can be interpreted one of two ways: 1) Complete narrative freedom or 2) Now no movie has any real stakes.

To Sum Things Up (in 57 words or less):
This is an easy movie to watch. There's action. There's humor. If you have no investment in the series, then it's a fine movie (think Jurassic World). For fans of the series it’s a mixed to empty bag. It touches on too many things that irritate me specifically to embrace it.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events

What I Guessed It Was About: Some orphaned kids move in with their great uncle who is just an awful dude. He does some cruel things to them. He's also probably involved in their parents dying or disappearing, because of course he is. They get back at him by pranking him to near death. Then the oldest daughter grows up and gets super attractive (Seriously, did you see her in Sucker Punch?).

How I Came Into It: I'm familiar with the book series as a thing that exists, although I didn't really know what they're about. I listened to a podcast once with the author and he talked about them a little. Jim Carrey and Emily Browning being in this was all I really knew though. And that it was intended for kids - I mean - families.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This is a much better cast than I expected. Jim Carrey gets to do what he loves the most in comedy: play strange characters and do funny voices. Meryl Steeps has some fun too. I can't say I expected Billy Connolly, Catherine O'Hara, and others to show up although I was pleased to see them. The kids are fine too, mostly playing the straight man (men, women, whatever) to the bizarre adults. There's a wicked, dark sense of humor to the whole thing that I quite appreciated as well.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: The down side of gallows humor for kids is that it isn't allowed to get as dark as it wants to. I get why this is, but there were several points where a joke let up a beat before it got really dark, which would've played to my tastes more. Then there's the fact that the plot is pretty thin. It relies on the performers to make it seem more nuanced than it is (luckily, they hired the right cast for that). I didn't love the film because it wasn't intended for me. It's not much more complex than that.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Stomp the Yard

What I Guessed It Was About: Some urban gentlemen have a dance crew and want to have the best crew of all of dance crews. They have a rival crew. There's a big competition at the end. Loud music. Loud dancing. Loud people. Can't I just watch Drumline instead?

How I Came Into It: I think I had a pretty clear-eyed understanding of this. There was going to be a lot of impressive dancing with some questionable acting in between. I didn't know who was in the cast or the exact context of this. I didn't have to to know that this was intended for people content with the climax of the movie being a dance move.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I've seen the movie Drumline countless times. I wouldn't say that I love the movie, but I'll agree that it's endlessly watchable. This is a Drumline clone, only with dancing instead of drums and Meagan Good instead of Zoe Saldana. The latter point is more important to me than to the quality of the movie. This too was an easy watch and exactly as engaging as it needed to be.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Well, it's inferior to Drumline in nearly every way. More surprising though was that it wasn't as lively as I expected. There's a lot of ridiculous dancing in the beginning of the movie, but nothing that follows it is as energized as in that club. Stomp the Yard puts its best foot forward early and never matches it. I can't say that any of the actors were particularly engaging. It makes me appreciate how difficult it is to find someone who can dance like a Channing Tatum that also has the screen presence.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Weekly 10: 6/26-7/2

With a dearth of new stuff, I've gone to recycling a lot of things I've seen before.

Me & Earl & The Dying Girl
That was a hulluva movie. I'm still looking for the right way to express why I loved it. I'm curious to see how others respond to it.

Last Week Tonight
He went after transgender rights hard and sufficiently and successfully.

True Detective "Night Finds You"
Well...that was...unexpected. I mean. I have to assume that Collin Ferrell is still alive. If not, they just one-upped Game of Thrones. If he is, that still means he's going to be sidelined.

Review
I noticed that Comedy Central had the episodes posted again. I'm only a few episodes in, but damn, this is a funny show.

Hannibal "Contorno"
That was a nice fight between Hannibal and Jack. I'm not sure what was going on for half the episode though.

Battlebots
I haven't done the math, but I fail to see how they make six episodes out of this tournament. Whatever. I'm sure they know what they're doing.

Halt and Catch Fire "Extract and Defend"
To be honest, I spent a lot of the episode imagining the version of the show without Gordon (even though I like Scoot McNairy) and liking it a lot more.

The Comedians Finale
I'm perfectly happy never watching this show again. It makes me dislike Billy Crystal and Josh Gad.

The Leftovers
After sorting through a few options about what to watch, I settled on The Leftovers. I just finished the Reverend Jamison episode and damn, I still love this show so much. October can't come soon enough.

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion
If you haven't seen this before, remedy that. I rewatched that along with 10 Things I Hate About You and Pitch Perfect. That's a great lineup.

July Movie Preview

It's going to be tough for July to compete with the rest of the summer so far. June was huge thanks to Jurassic World's domination and Inside Out simply being fantastic. Spy was a solid, not spectacular comedy too. That followed a May that was every bit as loaded. July certainly looks busy. It may even be big enough to eclipse May and June. It could also continue a trend of underwhelming Julys (No chance it'll be as dire as last year). There's a plethora of options available.

2015

Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | June 

2014

Jan | Feb | Mar | Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec

2013

Mar |  Apr | May | Jun | Jul | Aug | Sep | Oct | Nov | Dec

7/3

Terminator Genisys
Working For It: We all know some form of the Terminator story by now. I'm not sure how this story is going to fit into the larger continuity, and I mostly don't care as long as it's a fun action movie. The cast is all over the place in what I think is a good way. Arnold is back and I'll never begrudge him for having a presence in the series, no matter how much he doesn't look like a super soldier anymore. Emilia Clarke (Game of Thrones) and Matt Smith (Dr. Who) maintain the nerd-cred. No one should ever dislike seeing J.K. Simmons show up in anything. There's even a couple of those guys that Hollywood keeps telling me should be action stars despite no supporting evidence (Jai Courtney, Jason Clarke).
Working Against It: How many more iterations of this story do we need? I kind of respect their refusal to not do an outright reboot of it all, but it's now reached a point where it's more convoluted than the average fan can follow.
Interest Level: Curious to see what they're doing.

Magic Mike XXL
Working For It: Say what you will, but I thought Magic Mike was a solid movie. I can't fault it for the "hot guys dancing" appeal because, well, Hollywood is far more skewed the other way in general. Attacking that would be hypocritical. Beneath the surface appeal though, it was a pretty interesting story. The performances were fine. Especially Tatum and McConaughey.
Working Against It: Magic Mike was never intended to have a sequel. The Steven Soderbergh of it all was a big selling point. With Soderbergh gone, it's looking like all that remains is a story about a dance off. A Step Up with less clothes. That's stripping [pardon the phrasing] it of the parts that interested me.
Interest Level: I don't begrudge it or intend to see it immediately

7/10

Minions
Working For It: People love the minions. Getting Sandra Bullock to play an early lady-Gru is a smart bit of casting. The ads have been very effective leading up to this.
Working Against It: I do not love the minions. Getting Sandra Bullock is not enough to convince me to watch to see this. The ads haven't been very effective on me.
Interest Level: Eventually I'll see it. I have trouble seeing how it gets me to a theater to see it.

The Gallows
Working For It: It's a horror movie getting a nationwide release despite starring unknowns on either side of the camera. A lot of really good horror movies start that way (Blair Witch Project, Paranormal Activity). It has something to do with a high school play being put on in honor of a tragedy that happened two decades before, when the school last did that play. This sounds just generic enough to intrigue me.
Working Against It: The complete lack of credentials worries me. Blumhouse Productions has just a many misses as they do hits, so this feels like a coin toss.
Interest Level: Low, with the possibility of increasing with sneaky good reviews.

Self/less
Working For It: Ben Kingsley takes over Ryan Reynolds' body only to discover that someone had a life in that body before him. I like Ben Kingsley. I like Ryan Reynolds.
Working Against It: I don't necessarily like a lot of the role either chooses.
Interest Level: Moderate to low

7/17

Ant-Man
Working For It: I like Paul Rudd and Marvel puts out a consistently entertaining product. I don't fully know the idea behind this story. Rudd is some sort of former criminal who gets a suit that makes him small. I'm not sure how it ties into the larger cinematic universe, but as Guardians proved last year, working in the periphery isn't so bad.
Working Against It: There is so much potential for this to be the punchline of a joke (Think Cowboys & Aliens). It already feels like Disney is trying to reduce the hype for the movie. Phase 2 of the Marvel movies has swung in quality so much that it's hard to predict where this will land.
Interest Level: Passively high

Trainwreck
Working For It: Directed by Judd Apatow. Written by and starring Amy Schumer. Based on the NBA Finals previews, it's filled with Lebron James cameos. I mean, I'm on board. The story sounds simple enough: A commitment-phobe finds herself in a relationship and doesn't know if she wants to make it work.
Working Against It: I love Judd Apatow movies and even I have to admit that they continually run too long. This is the first full-length movie he's directed but not written. It's been a while since I've seen him handle other people's words. I have few worries about it.
Interest Level: It's definitely the most anticipated comedy of the year so far for me.

Irrational Man
Working For It: I'll always consider a Woody Allen movie. This one has Joaquin Phoenix playing the Woody Allen character as a professor going through an existential crisis or something. Emma Stone is back too.
Working Against It: Last year's Magic in the Moonlight left me pretty cold. I tend to wait on Allen's movies until I hear something like "It's looks like he just won _____ an Oscar". Without that, I'll wait until what he comes out with the next year.
Interest Level: Low until proven otherwise

*Btw, has Allen ever adapted one of Philip Roth's books? That seems like a perfect pairing.

Mr. Holmes
Working For It: Ian McKellen playing an old Sherlock Holmes and looking dapper as hell in the poster. What more do you need?
Working Against It: Director Bill Condon is a wildcard right now. He's coming off directing the critically ignored The Fifth Estate and the last two Twilight movies. Before that, Kinsey and Dreamgirls were respectable credentials for him. And, he is currently working on the live action Beauty & the Beast. What I'm trying to say is that I don't know what to expect.
Interest Level: Not all that high. There's already enough Sherlock Holmes in the world right now.

7/24

Pixels
Working For It: I've said for years that I still think Adam Sandler still has a great comedy or two left in him. I'm not sure if Pixels is that movie, but it's a step in the right direction. It's high concept as hell: Aliens take the form of 80's video games and try to take over the Earth. Sandler surrounds himself with some new people*, such as Josh Gad and Peter Dinklige who look to fit right it.
*I love that he's loyal to his friends, but it's nice to vary up the casts a bit
Working Against It: It's been a while since Sandler has looked comfortable in a movie. this is the first time he's looked comfortable in a while.
Interest Level: Surprisingly high

Paper Towns
Working For It: John Green has a lot of fans out there. If this adaptation of his work can replicate what The Fault in Our Stars did, then many more will follow. This sounds like a pretty standard coming of age, road trip kind of story. Like Fault, it will succeed on the strength of the young cast. I'm not familiar with Cara Delevingne, Nat Wolff, Cara Buono, etc. the way I was Shalaine Woodley, so we'll see.
Working Against It: I simply don't know enough about this cast, story, or director to feel secure about this, in a genre that historically has as many misses as hits.
Interest Level: Not very high, but I have at least one friend who assures me "We are going to see that"

Southpaw
Working For It: A dark movie about a boxer played by Jake Gyllenhaal whose personal life is falling apart around him as his career is taking off. That's about all I need to know. Gyllenhaal is coming off a great run of movies (Nightcrawler, Prisoners, End of Watch). Rachel McAdams is there. Forest Whitaker, 50 Cent, and Naomie Harris keep it interesting too. Director Anthony Fuqua is at times someone I really like (The Equalizer, Training Day, and - what? - He directed King Arthur).
Working Against It: It's written by Kurt Sutter, creator of Sons of Anarchy: a show that I grew really tired of by the end, despite liking it at the beginning. I'm not sure how Sutter will transition to movie scripts.
Interest Level: Higher if this was released in September

7/31

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
Working For It: Ethan Hunt and the team are back for another stunt-heavy action fest. Mission Impossible is like Tom Cruise's Ocean's franchise: he makes one whenever he wants to have some fun. And, like the Ocean's franchise, except for an uneven second movie, it has yet to let me down. Tom Cruise has worked with director Christopher McQuarrie before on the underrated Jack Reacher.
Working Against It: It's hard to say how much of the success of Ghost Protocol was director Brad Bird's doing. I think the Mission Impossible franchise is only really dependent on having Tom Cruise, but who knows. I've been wrong before.
Interest Level: How could I miss it?

Vacation
Working For It: You had me at "National Lampoon's Vacation reboot". Ed Helms, Christina Applegate, and some kids make a solid core cast, with names like Chris Hemsworth, Leslie Mann, Chevy Chase, Beverly D'Angelo, Keegan-Michael Key, and Charlie Day populating the world. John Francis Daley (Sam from Freak and Geeks) and his writing partner Jonathan M. Goldstein make their directorial debut here. All the previews I've seen look very promising.
Working Against It: The later in the summer comedies are held, the more I worry about them. It's barely not an August release, which is traditionally a dumping ground for niche comedies that don't quite work. I'm pretty sure this release date is more to position it away from Trainwreck, Minions, Ted 2, etc. though. Also, as much as I am rooting for Daley and Goldstein, the screenplays they've penned so far (Horrible Bosses 1 and 2, The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs 2) are not movies I've been wild about.
Interest Level: Pretty high, but I'm willing to let it get shoved out due to a busy schedule

The End of the Tour
Working For It: Jesse Eisenberg as a reporter getting an interview with Jason Segel as David Foster Wallace on a book tour. That's a strong enough pitch to interest me. Anna Chlumsky (My Girl, Veep), Mamie Gummer (mini-Meryl Streep), Ron Livingston (Office Space, aka "Not Kyle Chandler"), and Joan Cusack are all names that I like.
Working Against It: Nothing other than I have no sense of urgency to see this. It'll fall through the cracks commercially, critically, and in the awards season most likely. It feels a lot like something that will sit in my Netflix queue for a while until I see it one day when I'm bored and end up really liking it.
Interest Level: Not urgent