Lent Rant: No Meat

Part 1: Mardi Gras
Part 2: Ash Wednesday
Part 3: Giving Shit Up
Part 4: No Meat
Part 5: Palm Sunday
Part 6: Holy Thursday
Part 7: Good Friday
Part 8: ...Saturday
Part 9: Easter Sunday
Part 10: The Ascension

No Meat
Since Catholics are a community however, we need to suffer arbitrary rules together as well as separately. That's why we have the ultimate, decided by committee (See Side Rant) no-no: No meat on Friday only*, but seafood is allowed. Other religions/denominations fast, literally can't eat more than a meal a day** for several days in a row.

* This rule also applies to any day with a noun or adjective before it (See Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday, etc.)
** Hint: if you don't stop eating, it stays one meal. Pace yourself)

Catholics? On nonconsecutive days you have to substitute a hamburger for tuna. People on diets have stricter dietary restrictions than what Catholics have to do as part of a deal for eternal salvation. And, oh yeah, if we mess up, there's always Confession to wipe the slate clean. Suck it Luther! Catholics get into heaven  with indulgences paid in salmon.

I'm not saying any of this make sense either, of course. I've asked. Even priests say it's a test. That is all most of Catholicism is: a test to see what people will put up with.



Side rant: I say "decided by committee", because how else does that come about? I imagine it went something like this.
Holy Man 1: "So, we have Lent. In order to honor this period, we shall eat no meat and fast every day."
Holy Man 2: "That's a bit much, don't you think. I get kind of tired of bread after a few days of it."
HM1: "Hmm, you're right. I already said no meat, so how about we do it at least once a week?"
HM2: "I think I can get behind that"
HM1: "Good. Then absolutely no living creature shall be eaten on, let's say, Friday."
HM2: "Eeeeh."
HM1: "Yes?"
HM2: "According to this book, God made fish on the fifth day, so it would be sort of a slap in the face to not eat them then."
HM1: "And we don't want to insult God...fine. No meat, only on Fridays, but fish is allowed, because we respect God's work."
HM2: "It also says he created birds that day."
HM1: "Quit while you're ahead Brother Mark."