Saturday, December 10, 2022

Delayed Reaction: Orphan

Premise: A couple adopt a 12-year-old girl who turns out to be much more than they bargained for.


Luckily, this movie completely escaped my orbit when it first came out. I recognize the distinct poster, but I heard nothing about the movie. In fact, most of what I've ever heard about it has been occasional IMDB galleries highlighting what the Orphan girl looks like now. So I got to go into this movie completely unspoiled.

 

Look, it's a fun twist, finding out that Esther is actually 33. It's not mind-blowing. I mean, this is a horror movie. I was looking for something like she's a demon, or possessed, or the spawn of Satan anyway. "She's actually an adult" was in my rolodex of predictions. Honestly, the most revolutionary idea would be to go The Good Son and just make her a 12-year-old girl who really sucks. It's entertaining as is though.

 

Isabelle Fuhrman is really good in this. In hindsight, I’m dumbfounded that this didn't lead to a lot more roles. Like, how is she not in a Diary of a Wimpy Kid or Dolphin Tale at the very least? Often horror movies come down to being generic except for one thing that stands out. In Orphan, that is true, and Fuhrman is the thing that stands out. She gives this real menace that not many child actors can pull off.

 

I do also appreciate that the movie is willing to be brutal. Esther has a body count, including Peter Sarsgaard. She actually does hurt the son. A lot of horror movies are willing to threaten but not to kill. Orphan actually kills.

 

Otherwise, there isn't much to the movie. I tend to find stories about one person turning everyone else against another person tedious. Even when it's well done, I find it tedious. Vera Farmiga does what she can with it though. And if the whole movie was just built around her saying "I'm not your fucking Mommy" at the end, it was kind of worth it.

 

Verdict: Weakly Recommend

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