Formula: Snow White and the Huntsman - Witches + Giants
Why I Saw It: I have a morbid curiosity for big-budget disappointments.
Cast: Nicholas Hoult is always a delight. He can definitely pull off the unlikely hero thing. He and Eleanor Tomlinson have a good rapport. Ewan McGregor is the seasoned veteran hero and can sleepwalk through this role and still make it look good. Stanley Tucci has a character that is well built for him, although I question the role of the character itself. They even dusted off Ian McShane to play the king. All of them play as well as the script will let them. As you can tell, I've got some issues to cover in this next part.
Plot: I don't fully understand the process for getting a movie made. I know the scripts go through numerous drafts and most fall victim to an executive saying "you know what this movie needs? A <something stupid>." Watching this movie, I got a sense that there was potential for a good script. A few scenes or random lines give me a sense or what the original script was or that someone went through and did some good touch-ups at some point. Mostly though, this falls flat. It doesn't make any sense. One odd choice was to set it in England, not a fairy tale world that doesn't exist. the beanstalk, magically grows to the only entrance. Somehow, the bean stock grows downward in the giants' world. There's a magic crown that somehow controls the giants, but no other signs of magic. There's absolutely no sense of gravity or terminal velocity. What bothered me the most is that there was no consistent tone to it. I know the title was changed from Giant Killer to Giant Slayer to appeal more to families but then it also has some really violent moments. At times, it seems to change its mind as to whether it is going to be like Mirror, Mirror or Snow White and the Huntsman. I feel bad for movie like this, because I'm certain it started off looking fine, but it turned sour at some point and it was too late to fix it by then, so they put out as many fires as they could but there were too many.
Elephant in the Room: What about the giants? They didn't fit the movie. They were very cartoonish-looking when they are treated like they are menacing. The best example of this is the lead giant is the big villain in the movie. For some reason, they decided to give him a second head (no other giants have two heads, mind you) and that second head was completely there to make funny faces and crude noises. I lost track of the number of fart sounds coming from the giants. They are just wrong for the movie.
To Sum Things Up:
On paper, the movie was a tough feat: giants in the clouds fight humans. This is hardcore fantasy yet it wasn't treated like that. The action itself, the final act in particular, is really entertaining. I'd even say I was enthralled at a couple points. Overall, the movie doesn't work. I don't know what else to say. I think the greatest potential strength of the movie is the wit, but the attempts at that are mutes or don't work. If you want to see an epic, big-budget, 3-D fantasy movie, wait a week and see Oz the Great and Powerful.
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
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