Friday, March 9, 2012

The Backseat

The back seat in the car is awful. There is no way around this. If you are sitting in the back you get the afterbirth of what is being experienced in the front.

-The driver wants some fresh air. He rolls down the window and gets a pleasant breeze. In the back seat it’s like a tornado smacking you in the face.

-The driver wants some music. He turns the volume up to a reasonable level. Only thing is, most cars put the louder speakers in the back since it has to overcome a greater distance to reach the driver. So, a comfortable volume on the front is slightly below a sonic boom in the back.

-The driver wants to carry a conversation. He keeps his eyes on the road and talks. Everyone is pointing in the same direction. The front can hear the back easy. The back does not have the same luxury. There is the fun challenge of trying to follow a conversation using every third syllable, but it's kind of a useless skill, like cassette player repair or hostage negotiator at a leper colony.

The annoying thing about this is that the people in the front never seem to realize this. They think you hate air circulation, love their taste in music, and can hear like and owl.
The only time this is not an issue is the case of having a personal driver. And, that only works because he* is hired to fight these elements.

I guess what I'm trying to say is just tell your friend's you'll meet them there and drive separately. Recycle the beer can from the drive over to counteract the environmental impact of driving multiple cars.

*or she. See, I'm being equal opportunity, but let's be honest, being a chauffeur is hardly a girl-power moment.

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