Delayed Reaction: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

The Pitch: Horror movies are cheap money makers, but I'm too lazy to come up with a new idea. It's been long enough to do another Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, isn't it?

What Took Me So Long: The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre isn't going to be beat, so what's my hurry?

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. That's a great title for a movie. I think we forget that sometimes. They spent a lot of money to make this movie look very dirty. The best way to look at this is a different way of doing the same movie. The original was rough and messy and worked because it really was just the audience trying to figure out what was going on. This is more of a traditional horror movie. It's scored and shot for suspense. The oddness of the characters in that Texas community is played up because we are already familiar with them from the multiple other movies. This is a remake that isn't meant to replace the original. It is informed by it. Also, this is one of those movies that comes off as an attempt to prove that it isn't possible to make Jessica Biel look unappealing.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: The messiness of the original movie is its greatest strength. Taking that away ignores what made it special. As a result, this is a by the numbers scary movie.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend