Rant: Buses

I don’t ride the bus much since I left school. I think this is for the best. You see, I lack a skill-set needed for the bus.

First of all, I am paranoid about being late. Not only do I plan to get on the bus that gets me where I need an hour before I need to be there, but I end up showing up at the bus stop a few minutes after the bus made its previous stop. In essence, I stand around doing nothing for an hour and half with nothing to do, for fear of being five minutes late somewhere.

Secondly, once I’m on the bus, I don’t know what I am doing wrong, but I don’t know how to stand right. I will grab whatever pole or armrest I can find, planting my feet like tree trunks and as soon as the driver accelerates I’m flailing around like I’m Tarzan swinging from trees. Meanwhile, the girl standing next to me, not even paying attention leans lightly on a pole and is still as a statue.

Also, I make the mistake of looking at the advertisements. For every advertisement for an off-brand local fast-food place like “Prince Burgers” or “Taco Hut”, there’s an ad like “Depressed? Call us at (555)HAP-YNES And just remember, you matter. A noose is not a fetter, it’s a guillotine” or “Think you might have an STD? Call (555)YOU-AIDS. It's Confidential.” That just makes me even more conscious and worry what I’m going to catch something from that guy wiping his nose next to me…who just touched the pole I need to hold to stay standing.

Now, I’m not trying to say that I’m too good for the bus. I just think I am, and thank god, I’m in a city where it’s not that viable of an option. Because, I’m sorry, but every time I see somebody over 18 waiting for a bus, I immediately wonder what went wrong in their life. If they are holding cups, I’d probably consider giving them change, but of course, at the last second I would reconsider this. They are waiting for the bus. They already have change.