For all the time I spend on IMDB, I come across a lot of MPAA
ratings, some of which are quite funny, or oddly descriptive, or
distinctly abstract, or using a word I find funny, or anything in
between.
Here are my favorite one's from 2002.
Note:
BoxOfficeMojo lists 478 movies in 2002. I'm not checking all of
them. I'm sure I missed some. Feel free to let me know (because I know
this is inspiring so many of you to start hunting for them^).
Spider-Man - Rated PG-13 for stylized violence and action
Men in Black II - Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action violence and some provocative humor
Scooby-Doo - Rated PG for some rude humor, language and some scary action
xXx - Rated PG-13 for violence, non-stop action sequences, sensuality, drug content and language
Mr. Deeds - Rated PG-13 for language including sexual references, and some rear nudity
Jackass: The Movie - Rated R for dangerous, sometimes extremely crude stunts, language and nudity
Blue Crush - Rated PG-13 for sexual content, teen partying, language and a fight
Undercover Brother - Rated PG-13 for language, sexual humor, drug content and campy violence
Past Years:
Best of 2011
Best of 2010
Best of 2009
Best of 2008
Best of 2007
Best of 2006
Best of 2005
Best of 2004
Best of 2003
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Movie Reaction: Rock of Ages
Formula: Hairspray + 20 years + John Waters
(Analogy) Degrassi Jr. High is to Degrassi The Next Generation as Rock of Ages is to Glee
Cast: Within seconds you know which people were brought on as singers and which people were brought on as actors. The material is pretty flimsy when people aren't singing, but that doesn't account for all of how painful Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta are reading dialogue. It's hard to be too hard on them though. Tom Cruise is rightfully the big name here and he had the opportunity the Capt. Jack Sparrow this movie and make it his own, which he nearly does. It's fun (not funny) to see him inhabit this role. All the other people kind of feel like casting's second picks but seem to enjoy themselves and ably wear the hats they're given.
Plot: Let's play a game. Get your iPod. Now, look through and pick about 20 songs within a genre that you like. Ok. Take those songs and build a playlist with them but try to tell a story with it. Finally, fill in the gaps between the songs with no more that 2 minutes of narrative and exposition. Game done.
For those of you who played at home, the story you just wrote is a flaming piece of shit, no doubt. That's because this is hard to do. The movie does this admirably, but it also isn't going to remotely change anyone's mind to love or hate it. To quote Poison, this movie is looking to be "Nothin' but a good time". Mileage may vary.
Elephant in the Room: If I have to hear "Don't Stop Believin" as an emotional climax one more time, I'm going to flip out. Well, flip out. This movie is a pretty white-washed take on the hair band music of the 80s. It's a lot of the same songs you hear at a "hip" bar or club when they are trying to be "retro". I had pretty mild expectations for this, but part of me hoped they would surprise me with at least one song in the set list. Even something like "Welcome to the Jungle" would've been a refreshing deviation without breaking the formula. Oh well.
To Sum Things Up:
I'm actually surprised this didn't fair so well opening weekend. This pretty perfectly has all the elements that made Glee a mega-hit (for a time) down to the music selection. Once again, temper your expectations. Hairspray and Mamma Mia completely put this to shame, but it's a good movie to take a couple shots, gather some friends, and buy a ticket for. An appropriately boisterous crowd could make it a really fun experience.
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
(Analogy) Degrassi Jr. High is to Degrassi The Next Generation as Rock of Ages is to Glee
Cast: Within seconds you know which people were brought on as singers and which people were brought on as actors. The material is pretty flimsy when people aren't singing, but that doesn't account for all of how painful Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta are reading dialogue. It's hard to be too hard on them though. Tom Cruise is rightfully the big name here and he had the opportunity the Capt. Jack Sparrow this movie and make it his own, which he nearly does. It's fun (not funny) to see him inhabit this role. All the other people kind of feel like casting's second picks but seem to enjoy themselves and ably wear the hats they're given.
Plot: Let's play a game. Get your iPod. Now, look through and pick about 20 songs within a genre that you like. Ok. Take those songs and build a playlist with them but try to tell a story with it. Finally, fill in the gaps between the songs with no more that 2 minutes of narrative and exposition. Game done.
For those of you who played at home, the story you just wrote is a flaming piece of shit, no doubt. That's because this is hard to do. The movie does this admirably, but it also isn't going to remotely change anyone's mind to love or hate it. To quote Poison, this movie is looking to be "Nothin' but a good time". Mileage may vary.
Elephant in the Room: If I have to hear "Don't Stop Believin" as an emotional climax one more time, I'm going to flip out. Well, flip out. This movie is a pretty white-washed take on the hair band music of the 80s. It's a lot of the same songs you hear at a "hip" bar or club when they are trying to be "retro". I had pretty mild expectations for this, but part of me hoped they would surprise me with at least one song in the set list. Even something like "Welcome to the Jungle" would've been a refreshing deviation without breaking the formula. Oh well.
To Sum Things Up:
I'm actually surprised this didn't fair so well opening weekend. This pretty perfectly has all the elements that made Glee a mega-hit (for a time) down to the music selection. Once again, temper your expectations. Hairspray and Mamma Mia completely put this to shame, but it's a good movie to take a couple shots, gather some friends, and buy a ticket for. An appropriately boisterous crowd could make it a really fun experience.
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Best MPAA Ratings of 2003
For all the time I spend on IMDB, I come across a lot of MPAA
ratings, some of which are quite funny, or oddly descriptive, or
distinctly abstract, or using a word I find funny, or anything in
between.
Here are my favorite one's from 2003.
Note: BoxOfficeMojo lists 506 movies in 2003. I'm not checking all of them. I'm sure I missed some. Feel free to let me know (because I know this is inspiring so many of you to start hunting for them^).
2 Fast 2 Furious - Rated PG-13 for street racing, violence, language and some sensuality
Seabiscuit - Rated PG-13 for some sexual situations and violent sports-related images
The Cat in the Hat - Rated PG for mild crude humor and some double-entendres
Big Fish - Rated PG-13 for a fight scene, some images of nudity and a suggestive reference
Agent Cody Banks - Rated PG for action violence, mild language and some sensual content
Past Years:
Best of 2011
Best of 2010
Best of 2009
Best of 2008
Best of 2007
Best of 2006
Best of 2005
Best of 2004
Here are my favorite one's from 2003.
Note: BoxOfficeMojo lists 506 movies in 2003. I'm not checking all of them. I'm sure I missed some. Feel free to let me know (because I know this is inspiring so many of you to start hunting for them^).
2 Fast 2 Furious - Rated PG-13 for street racing, violence, language and some sensuality
Seabiscuit - Rated PG-13 for some sexual situations and violent sports-related images
The Cat in the Hat - Rated PG for mild crude humor and some double-entendres
Big Fish - Rated PG-13 for a fight scene, some images of nudity and a suggestive reference
Agent Cody Banks - Rated PG for action violence, mild language and some sensual content
Past Years:
Best of 2011
Best of 2010
Best of 2009
Best of 2008
Best of 2007
Best of 2006
Best of 2005
Best of 2004
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Movie Reaction: Prometheus
Formula:
Alien + 33 years of technical advances
Aliens + 26 years of technical advances
Aliens 3 + ...actually, it's best not to bring it up.
Cast: They put together a good one for this movie. Oddly, the best characters were the ones who emoted the least. That mean Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron. Fassbender was an effective amalgamation of the robots from A.I. Theron, for the second week in a row plays the antagonistic female in charge. Naomi Rapace is perfectly fine. I'm not sure she brought anything to the lead role but she didn't take anything from it either, so there's that. I always love me some Idris Elba, but he's pretty sparsely or generically used. The rest of the cast is good, although 90% of them exist to be victims* so it doesn't matter too much, right?
*That's not a spoiler unless you know nothing about the Alien franchise, in which case you only have yourself to blame.
Plot: As I just mentioned, this is an Alien movie, so let's not pretend the plot is something groundbreaking here. In all honestly, the plot is an excuse for the visuals. It's pretty generic and the characters not all that developed. That isn't a major fault though, since, as I said, it's more for the visuals and effects.
Effects: These pretty much make the movie. It is all very nice to look at. There are a few sequences that are as intense as you will find in the movies. There is some impressive scope to some of the shots as well. I feel like this is one of those where the 3D may actually be "worth it", although I saw it in 2D and it was still quite engrossing.
Elephant in the Room: If this is a prequel, do I need to to see the other movies? I didn't and it didn't hurt my understanding. Probably, it would've amplified a few scenes, but that's it.
To Sum Things Up:
This was very good. Unlike other movies I've seen this year, namely Battleship, even though the effects are the reason to see it, the plot is not nearly as thin, so a great amount of enjoyment can be had watching it.
Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend
Alien + 33 years of technical advances
Aliens + 26 years of technical advances
Aliens 3 + ...actually, it's best not to bring it up.
Cast: They put together a good one for this movie. Oddly, the best characters were the ones who emoted the least. That mean Michael Fassbender and Charlize Theron. Fassbender was an effective amalgamation of the robots from A.I. Theron, for the second week in a row plays the antagonistic female in charge. Naomi Rapace is perfectly fine. I'm not sure she brought anything to the lead role but she didn't take anything from it either, so there's that. I always love me some Idris Elba, but he's pretty sparsely or generically used. The rest of the cast is good, although 90% of them exist to be victims* so it doesn't matter too much, right?
*That's not a spoiler unless you know nothing about the Alien franchise, in which case you only have yourself to blame.
Plot: As I just mentioned, this is an Alien movie, so let's not pretend the plot is something groundbreaking here. In all honestly, the plot is an excuse for the visuals. It's pretty generic and the characters not all that developed. That isn't a major fault though, since, as I said, it's more for the visuals and effects.
Effects: These pretty much make the movie. It is all very nice to look at. There are a few sequences that are as intense as you will find in the movies. There is some impressive scope to some of the shots as well. I feel like this is one of those where the 3D may actually be "worth it", although I saw it in 2D and it was still quite engrossing.
Elephant in the Room: If this is a prequel, do I need to to see the other movies? I didn't and it didn't hurt my understanding. Probably, it would've amplified a few scenes, but that's it.
To Sum Things Up:
This was very good. Unlike other movies I've seen this year, namely Battleship, even though the effects are the reason to see it, the plot is not nearly as thin, so a great amount of enjoyment can be had watching it.
Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend
Friday, June 8, 2012
Rant: Buses
I don’t ride the bus much since I left school. I think this is for the best. You see, I lack a skill-set needed for the bus.
First of all, I am paranoid about being late. Not only do I plan to get on the bus that gets me where I need an hour before I need to be there, but I end up showing up at the bus stop a few minutes after the bus made its previous stop. In essence, I stand around doing nothing for an hour and half with nothing to do, for fear of being five minutes late somewhere.
Secondly, once I’m on the bus, I don’t know what I am doing wrong, but I don’t know how to stand right. I will grab whatever pole or armrest I can find, planting my feet like tree trunks and as soon as the driver accelerates I’m flailing around like I’m Tarzan swinging from trees. Meanwhile, the girl standing next to me, not even paying attention leans lightly on a pole and is still as a statue.
Also, I make the mistake of looking at the advertisements. For every advertisement for an off-brand local fast-food place like “Prince Burgers” or “Taco Hut”, there’s an ad like “Depressed? Call us at (555)HAP-YNES And just remember, you matter. A noose is not a fetter, it’s a guillotine” or “Think you might have an STD? Call (555)YOU-AIDS. It's Confidential.” That just makes me even more conscious and worry what I’m going to catch something from that guy wiping his nose next to me…who just touched the pole I need to hold to stay standing.
Now, I’m not trying to say that I’m too good for the bus. I just think I am, and thank god, I’m in a city where it’s not that viable of an option. Because, I’m sorry, but every time I see somebody over 18 waiting for a bus, I immediately wonder what went wrong in their life. If they are holding cups, I’d probably consider giving them change, but of course, at the last second I would reconsider this. They are waiting for the bus. They already have change.
First of all, I am paranoid about being late. Not only do I plan to get on the bus that gets me where I need an hour before I need to be there, but I end up showing up at the bus stop a few minutes after the bus made its previous stop. In essence, I stand around doing nothing for an hour and half with nothing to do, for fear of being five minutes late somewhere.
Secondly, once I’m on the bus, I don’t know what I am doing wrong, but I don’t know how to stand right. I will grab whatever pole or armrest I can find, planting my feet like tree trunks and as soon as the driver accelerates I’m flailing around like I’m Tarzan swinging from trees. Meanwhile, the girl standing next to me, not even paying attention leans lightly on a pole and is still as a statue.
Also, I make the mistake of looking at the advertisements. For every advertisement for an off-brand local fast-food place like “Prince Burgers” or “Taco Hut”, there’s an ad like “Depressed? Call us at (555)HAP-YNES And just remember, you matter. A noose is not a fetter, it’s a guillotine” or “Think you might have an STD? Call (555)YOU-AIDS. It's Confidential.” That just makes me even more conscious and worry what I’m going to catch something from that guy wiping his nose next to me…who just touched the pole I need to hold to stay standing.
Now, I’m not trying to say that I’m too good for the bus. I just think I am, and thank god, I’m in a city where it’s not that viable of an option. Because, I’m sorry, but every time I see somebody over 18 waiting for a bus, I immediately wonder what went wrong in their life. If they are holding cups, I’d probably consider giving them change, but of course, at the last second I would reconsider this. They are waiting for the bus. They already have change.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Top 10 House Episodes: 1-3
Almost forgot these. As a refresher, here's the rest of the top 10:
Top 10 House Episodes: 8-10
Top 10 House Episodes: 4-7
3 - All In (S.2 E.17)
Special Guest(s): None
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you'd come back for seconds. I figured that after that girl on the stairwell you'd be done for the night." -House
"He's joking." -Chase
"No Adam's apple, small hands. No surprises this time!" -House
Why I Love It: Nothing better than a good Moby Dick story, especially if Ahab gets his white whale*. From a character development perspective, this does a great job explaining the nature of House's obsessive mind and does a good job reminding us that House has always been like this, pre-leg. Probably my favorite parts of the episode though, are the poker scenes. The ace poker player angle is well-tread territory for shows, but I don't know of any that have had so much fun with it.
*I'll immediately come forth and say I don't actually know how that book ends, but I'm assuming the whale wins.
"Have you read Moby Dick?" -Wilson
"It was a book?" -House
2 - Occam's Razor (S.1 E.3)
Special Guest(s): Faith Prince
"I think your argument in specious." -Wilson
"I think your tie is ugly." -House
Why I Love It: It's the perfect House episode. It's the best execution of the episodic House formula. And, it has one simple lesson: House is always right. Love him or, more often, hate him he is always right. They spent the next 8 years trying to disprove that notion and any time it did so successfully was to the detriment to the series. By episode 3, they have established that House is a highly imperfect character, but he was also enlightened in a way no one else was. Now, I'm not one to say the character shouldn't've changed. I will say he should never have been diminished which all the mental wards and prison stays did. Here was House as a force of nature, that could be stopped, but shouldn't be.
"Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth." -Wilson
"And triteness kicks us in the nuts." -House
1 - Three Stories (S.1 E.21)
Special Guest(s): Sela Ward, Andrew Keegan, Carmen Electra
"You know what's worse than useless? Useless and oblivious." -House
Why I Love It: Let's call this my favorite hour of TV ever. I don't have a list compiled, but this feels safe to say. What starts out as a funny, interestingly structure throw away story reveals itself as a brilliantly crafted narrative and a deeply revealing episode that serves as a deeply effective origins tale for the version of House that the series follows. I basically love everything about it. The cases are all interesting. House's team is well represented. I lose count number of cases House solves, including the illness of the doctor he is filling in for. Stacy is introduced brilliantly for her story arc. Even the med students are fleshed out by the end of it. This is the only episode of House that was ever awarded an Emmy for writing and for good reason. So much is going on that it is hard to believe it's a regular-sized episode, and it's rare to find an episode that is so good it feels longer than it is. Such a good episode.
"You find it more comforting to believe that this is it?" -Cameron
"I find it more comforting to believe that this...isn't simply a test." -House
Alright, there you have it. It took a little longer than I intended to write this [because I'm lazy], but there you have it. My favorite House episodes. Now, I guess it's time for me to trim down my DVR list in preparation for the summer.
Top 10 House Episodes: 8-10
Top 10 House Episodes: 4-7
3 - All In (S.2 E.17)
Special Guest(s): None
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you'd come back for seconds. I figured that after that girl on the stairwell you'd be done for the night." -House
"He's joking." -Chase
"No Adam's apple, small hands. No surprises this time!" -House
Why I Love It: Nothing better than a good Moby Dick story, especially if Ahab gets his white whale*. From a character development perspective, this does a great job explaining the nature of House's obsessive mind and does a good job reminding us that House has always been like this, pre-leg. Probably my favorite parts of the episode though, are the poker scenes. The ace poker player angle is well-tread territory for shows, but I don't know of any that have had so much fun with it.
*I'll immediately come forth and say I don't actually know how that book ends, but I'm assuming the whale wins.
"Have you read Moby Dick?" -Wilson
"It was a book?" -House
--------------------
2 - Occam's Razor (S.1 E.3)
Special Guest(s): Faith Prince
"I think your argument in specious." -Wilson
"I think your tie is ugly." -House
Why I Love It: It's the perfect House episode. It's the best execution of the episodic House formula. And, it has one simple lesson: House is always right. Love him or, more often, hate him he is always right. They spent the next 8 years trying to disprove that notion and any time it did so successfully was to the detriment to the series. By episode 3, they have established that House is a highly imperfect character, but he was also enlightened in a way no one else was. Now, I'm not one to say the character shouldn't've changed. I will say he should never have been diminished which all the mental wards and prison stays did. Here was House as a force of nature, that could be stopped, but shouldn't be.
"Beauty often seduces us on the road to truth." -Wilson
"And triteness kicks us in the nuts." -House
--------------------
1 - Three Stories (S.1 E.21)
Special Guest(s): Sela Ward, Andrew Keegan, Carmen Electra
"You know what's worse than useless? Useless and oblivious." -House
Why I Love It: Let's call this my favorite hour of TV ever. I don't have a list compiled, but this feels safe to say. What starts out as a funny, interestingly structure throw away story reveals itself as a brilliantly crafted narrative and a deeply revealing episode that serves as a deeply effective origins tale for the version of House that the series follows. I basically love everything about it. The cases are all interesting. House's team is well represented. I lose count number of cases House solves, including the illness of the doctor he is filling in for. Stacy is introduced brilliantly for her story arc. Even the med students are fleshed out by the end of it. This is the only episode of House that was ever awarded an Emmy for writing and for good reason. So much is going on that it is hard to believe it's a regular-sized episode, and it's rare to find an episode that is so good it feels longer than it is. Such a good episode.
"You find it more comforting to believe that this is it?" -Cameron
"I find it more comforting to believe that this...isn't simply a test." -House
--------------------
Alright, there you have it. It took a little longer than I intended to write this [because I'm lazy], but there you have it. My favorite House episodes. Now, I guess it's time for me to trim down my DVR list in preparation for the summer.
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Movie Reaction: Snow White and the Huntsman
Formula: The plot of Stardust, the characters of Lord of the Ring, the concept of Alice in Wonderland, and the sensibilities of Twilight...oh, and add three drops of Snow White.
Cast: I'll start by saying it's clear which person in the cast has an Oscar. Charlize Theron was the only one who sank her teeth into her part. She committed to a pretty bland one dimensional role. And that is pretty much the problem every actor had in this. No one seemed all that layered. Chris Hensworth seemed pretty bored most of the time. Kristen Stewart, well, you know what to expect with her. I've heard some critics saying they see so much potential for her. Personally, I don't at all, but I could be wrong. Right now, she's kind of where Keira Knightley was in 2004: able to pick successful movies but still looking for that make or break showcase. As for the rest of the cast, they all looked pretty hand-picked from the BBC Historical Epics department.
Plot: Something didn't settle well with me. The whole time I watched the movie I could only think of the movies it was trying to be and that's really bothersome. The scope of the whole thing also was way too big. No character was serviced too well. I couldn't even tell you one of the dwarves' names. It tried so hard to have an epic feel and wanted so badly to create a world that felt as deep and fully formed as Middle Earth and came up so short. I was never surprised by the plot or impressed by the execution which is normally a bad sign. It was serviceably generic in the way something like Robin Hood was.
Elephant in the Room: Do we need to have everything in the Disney catalog remade in live action? No. Every couple of years someone thinks they can take a Disney animated classic and make an edgier PG13 version that treats the plot seriously and puts it in a real[er] world setting, and they have largely been duds. How many times has King Arthur been tried? Brandy, Hilary Duff, and Drew Barrymore have all taken stabs at Cinderella. There's Tim Burton's pseudo-sequel of Alice in Wonderland. Did it ever occur to anyone that the simplicity of these stories is precisely why they work so well.
WTF Moments:
-Snow White says the Our Father at some point. I never thought I'd say this, but you can't have Christianity and magic in a movie.
-Before they've even said a word, the sight of the 7 dwarves had most of my theater laughing, presumably, simply because they were short. Way to rise above, audience.
To Sum Things Up:
This is one of those movies I am certain other people will like a lot more than I did. Nagging feelings from beginning to end killed my buzz. It's the best thing to come out in nearly a month, so anyone tired of seeing The Avengers 2-10 times will find this to be the least step down of what's been offered.
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
Cast: I'll start by saying it's clear which person in the cast has an Oscar. Charlize Theron was the only one who sank her teeth into her part. She committed to a pretty bland one dimensional role. And that is pretty much the problem every actor had in this. No one seemed all that layered. Chris Hensworth seemed pretty bored most of the time. Kristen Stewart, well, you know what to expect with her. I've heard some critics saying they see so much potential for her. Personally, I don't at all, but I could be wrong. Right now, she's kind of where Keira Knightley was in 2004: able to pick successful movies but still looking for that make or break showcase. As for the rest of the cast, they all looked pretty hand-picked from the BBC Historical Epics department.
Plot: Something didn't settle well with me. The whole time I watched the movie I could only think of the movies it was trying to be and that's really bothersome. The scope of the whole thing also was way too big. No character was serviced too well. I couldn't even tell you one of the dwarves' names. It tried so hard to have an epic feel and wanted so badly to create a world that felt as deep and fully formed as Middle Earth and came up so short. I was never surprised by the plot or impressed by the execution which is normally a bad sign. It was serviceably generic in the way something like Robin Hood was.
Elephant in the Room: Do we need to have everything in the Disney catalog remade in live action? No. Every couple of years someone thinks they can take a Disney animated classic and make an edgier PG13 version that treats the plot seriously and puts it in a real[er] world setting, and they have largely been duds. How many times has King Arthur been tried? Brandy, Hilary Duff, and Drew Barrymore have all taken stabs at Cinderella. There's Tim Burton's pseudo-sequel of Alice in Wonderland. Did it ever occur to anyone that the simplicity of these stories is precisely why they work so well.
WTF Moments:
-Snow White says the Our Father at some point. I never thought I'd say this, but you can't have Christianity and magic in a movie.
-Before they've even said a word, the sight of the 7 dwarves had most of my theater laughing, presumably, simply because they were short. Way to rise above, audience.
To Sum Things Up:
This is one of those movies I am certain other people will like a lot more than I did. Nagging feelings from beginning to end killed my buzz. It's the best thing to come out in nearly a month, so anyone tired of seeing The Avengers 2-10 times will find this to be the least step down of what's been offered.
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
Friday, June 1, 2012
Top 10 House Episodes: 4-7
Looks like I got these put together faster than I expected.
In case you missed part 1:
Top 10 House Episodes: 8-10
Now, here's 4-7:
7 - Son of Coma Guy (S.3 E.7)Special Guest(s): John Laroquette, David Morse
"Quick, what's the kid's status? I've got to get back to out Sleeper before he goes looking for the orgasmatron." -House
Why I Love It: House and Wilson on a road trip. Check. Three time Emmy winner John Laroquette. Check. House telling the story of the man that made him want to be a doctor. Check. That has to be some sort of trifecta. This is probably the most telling episode about what House cares about and who he cares about. A terrific showcase for the two most important characters to the series.
"You lied to the cops enough for me...maybe I don't want to push this till is breaks." -House
--------------------
6 - TB or Not TB (S.2 E.4)
Special Guest(s): Ron Livingston
"You're just mad because he's closer to a Nobel prize than you are." -Wilson
"And yet I've nailed more Swedish babes. Crazy, crazy world." -House
Why I Love It: This is one of those episodes that I imagine started with a theme and had a plot developed for it. Early House episodes really loved pointing out the hypocrisy of things society often reveres. The show took a devil's advocate stance on an issue and had you rooting for the devil by the end of it, normally by pointing out a greater morality within generally negatively perceived traits like selfishness, apathy, and pride. House vs. the TB Missionary is one of the best examples of this.
"Oh, the whores can like the sex, but it doesn't mean they;re not whores." -House
--------------------
5 - House vs. God (S.2 E.19)
Special Guest(s): None
"He is not a saint. He figures out what's going on in people's lives by watching, listening, deducing..." -House
"And you're worried about trademark infringement?" -Wilson
Why I Love It: Before it became old-hat and rehashed again and again, the episodes that challenged religion were some of the most entertaining. Something about the House vs. God board has a pompousness that always makes me smile. The points they make about the disparity between religious tenets and the people that espouse them, such as Chase pointing out that the patient should be humble enough to believe God speaking to him could be a disease, are some of the best I've seen, especially for network TV.
"You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic." -House
--------------------
4 - No Reason (S.2 E.24)
Special Guest(s): Elias Koteas
"I got shot. Diagnostically boring. Big tongue, on the other hand - endlessly entertaining." -House
Why I Love It: One of those episodes you have to watch a second time before you understand it. As I've said before, when the writers committed to playing with story structure, the results were almost always great. This one is such a wonderful mindfuck and props to the director for finding a way to make House putting the moves on Cameron with a surgery machine so damn hot.
"I'm almost always eventually right." -House
--------------------
At this rate, maybe I'll have the top 3 ready for tomorrow.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Top 10 House Episodes: 8-10
I just watched the House finale*. I figure it would be wrong to post
this before I could digest that, and I also wanted to believe they could
do something with the last episode that would make everything alright.
So much for that.
Now, I've spent a good three years going on about how House isn't what it was, without saying much about what it actually was. It was a procedural with serial elements. A drama, with a harsh comedic edge. It was a Fox show if there ever was one: daring, taboo, and unique. No show ever had a character like House. He came fully formed, flawed, and flaunting it. He was unapologetic, uncouth, and most importantly, right.
I love this show. At it's best it was one of the best on TV. Like most shows, it didn't always hit that high mark, but when it hit...well, it was pretty marvelous. Here's my list of my top ten House episodes. Rankings are highly subject to change except #1. That one is pretty set.
*I watched it a while ago. Too lazy to retype that sentence and also to lazy to get this posted any earlier.
10 - Words and Deeds (S.3 E.11)
Special Guest(s): Meagan Good, David Morse
"When I lead the big patient rebellion, Voldemort here is the first to go" -House
Why I Love It: This was House's first and best rehab stint. The reason, because it wasn't really rehab. There's some great moments of House opening up to people, apologizing under the guise of rehab. For a brief moment I even worried that House was going to repent for everything he is (i.e. ruin the series. It took a couple more season for them to get there), but then it's all revealed to be a ruse. House is still House, unrepentant and proud to be the misanthrope we love. Queue "Season of the Witch" and fade to black.
"Nothing's changed?" -Wilson
"Nothing's changed." -House
9 - House's Head (S.4 E.15)Special Guest(s): Anne Dudek, Fred Durst
"I'm not a lesbian." -13
"I was rounding up, from 50%." -House
Why I Love It:This is the last great House episode, before the schtick got old. An outright examination of how House thinks, complete with a Cuddy striptease, you get to see a concussed House try to remember what happened on the bus, with an ending that is one of the best "a-ha!" moments of the series.
"You believe in reason above all else. The must be a reason." -Mystery Girl
8 - The Jerk (S.3 E.23)
Special Guest(s): None
"And it's Tuesday...I like you." -Chase
"I know. See you next Tuesday." - Cameron
Why I Love It: Don't say I don't have any "case of the week" episodes on the list. Here is one of the all-time great "who can we put in a room with Greg" cases. This is a rare case where House has met his match and I rather enjoy the lesson that some people are just jerks.
"I was bluffing. And that's why you lost." -Asshole kid
"Jerk." -House
More to come, as I remember to post them.
Now, I've spent a good three years going on about how House isn't what it was, without saying much about what it actually was. It was a procedural with serial elements. A drama, with a harsh comedic edge. It was a Fox show if there ever was one: daring, taboo, and unique. No show ever had a character like House. He came fully formed, flawed, and flaunting it. He was unapologetic, uncouth, and most importantly, right.
I love this show. At it's best it was one of the best on TV. Like most shows, it didn't always hit that high mark, but when it hit...well, it was pretty marvelous. Here's my list of my top ten House episodes. Rankings are highly subject to change except #1. That one is pretty set.
*I watched it a while ago. Too lazy to retype that sentence and also to lazy to get this posted any earlier.
10 - Words and Deeds (S.3 E.11)
Special Guest(s): Meagan Good, David Morse
"When I lead the big patient rebellion, Voldemort here is the first to go" -House
Why I Love It: This was House's first and best rehab stint. The reason, because it wasn't really rehab. There's some great moments of House opening up to people, apologizing under the guise of rehab. For a brief moment I even worried that House was going to repent for everything he is (i.e. ruin the series. It took a couple more season for them to get there), but then it's all revealed to be a ruse. House is still House, unrepentant and proud to be the misanthrope we love. Queue "Season of the Witch" and fade to black.
"Nothing's changed?" -Wilson
"Nothing's changed." -House
--------------------
9 - House's Head (S.4 E.15)Special Guest(s): Anne Dudek, Fred Durst
"I'm not a lesbian." -13
"I was rounding up, from 50%." -House
Why I Love It:This is the last great House episode, before the schtick got old. An outright examination of how House thinks, complete with a Cuddy striptease, you get to see a concussed House try to remember what happened on the bus, with an ending that is one of the best "a-ha!" moments of the series.
"You believe in reason above all else. The must be a reason." -Mystery Girl
--------------------
8 - The Jerk (S.3 E.23)
Special Guest(s): None
"And it's Tuesday...I like you." -Chase
"I know. See you next Tuesday." - Cameron
Why I Love It: Don't say I don't have any "case of the week" episodes on the list. Here is one of the all-time great "who can we put in a room with Greg" cases. This is a rare case where House has met his match and I rather enjoy the lesson that some people are just jerks.
"I was bluffing. And that's why you lost." -Asshole kid
"Jerk." -House
--------------------
More to come, as I remember to post them.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Movie Reaction: Men in Black 3
Formula: Men in Black + Back to the Future + 15 Years of wear and tear
Cast: I like Will Smith and have always enjoyed the Will Smith summer movie model. It's been a while since the last entry and when that last entry is Hancock, that certainly opens the door to question my initial statement. MiiiB is more of a return to form for him, but it's definitely fighting progression. He's 10 years older than he was in the last movie but the movie still treats him like he's a Jr. Agent. Tommy Lee Jones is good, if not disinterested. Josh Brolin plays K very well, but it's a shame that they have him playing a 29-year old instead of someone more his age. James Clement did a really good job as the main villain allowed me to play a game of "that's him?" when I got home and looked up the cast. Emma Thompson and Alice Eve are both good in small, largely peripheral roles.
Plot: I heard something about this movie starting production before the script was done. The last blockbuster I remember doing that was Transformers 2. That about says it all. You see, the original MiB was pretty meticulous. The jokes crisp. The characters well defined and well serviced. The references to real world events researched. This one looks to have started with the thought "Moon landing" and tried too hard to make everything else work. If they were so set to have James Brolin on board, couldn't they have just had him be K's secret son and had a Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade with a black guy thing going on? As a rule of thumb, if it's going to take 10 years to make a sequel, the script should reflect 10 years of thought. Otherwise, it just won't work.
Elephant in the Room: Time travel is almost always a mistake. Back to the Future is the exception not the rule. Also, BttF was conceived as a time travel movie. MiiiB uses it as a late-run plot device. The result is pretty disastrous from a continuity perspective* K is married with a wife in the original, but this movie introduces Agent O as a potential love interest. Alice Eve and Josh Brolin are too old (Brolin way more than Eve) to play the younger versions of their characters. There is almost no Butterfly Effect either. The whole thing is so sloppy.
*Yes, even summer blockbusters should worry about continuity.
To Sum Things Up:
Best movie I've seen since The Avengers. I'm still waiting to find the movie that makes me happy I didn't instead see The Avengers a second time. If you like MiB, it is worse than the first and better than the second, but much closer to the latter than the former. Even from an action movie perspective, there's really not much to be gained from seeing this in theaters.
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
Cast: I like Will Smith and have always enjoyed the Will Smith summer movie model. It's been a while since the last entry and when that last entry is Hancock, that certainly opens the door to question my initial statement. MiiiB is more of a return to form for him, but it's definitely fighting progression. He's 10 years older than he was in the last movie but the movie still treats him like he's a Jr. Agent. Tommy Lee Jones is good, if not disinterested. Josh Brolin plays K very well, but it's a shame that they have him playing a 29-year old instead of someone more his age. James Clement did a really good job as the main villain allowed me to play a game of "that's him?" when I got home and looked up the cast. Emma Thompson and Alice Eve are both good in small, largely peripheral roles.
Plot: I heard something about this movie starting production before the script was done. The last blockbuster I remember doing that was Transformers 2. That about says it all. You see, the original MiB was pretty meticulous. The jokes crisp. The characters well defined and well serviced. The references to real world events researched. This one looks to have started with the thought "Moon landing" and tried too hard to make everything else work. If they were so set to have James Brolin on board, couldn't they have just had him be K's secret son and had a Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade with a black guy thing going on? As a rule of thumb, if it's going to take 10 years to make a sequel, the script should reflect 10 years of thought. Otherwise, it just won't work.
Elephant in the Room: Time travel is almost always a mistake. Back to the Future is the exception not the rule. Also, BttF was conceived as a time travel movie. MiiiB uses it as a late-run plot device. The result is pretty disastrous from a continuity perspective* K is married with a wife in the original, but this movie introduces Agent O as a potential love interest. Alice Eve and Josh Brolin are too old (Brolin way more than Eve) to play the younger versions of their characters. There is almost no Butterfly Effect either. The whole thing is so sloppy.
*Yes, even summer blockbusters should worry about continuity.
To Sum Things Up:
Best movie I've seen since The Avengers. I'm still waiting to find the movie that makes me happy I didn't instead see The Avengers a second time. If you like MiB, it is worse than the first and better than the second, but much closer to the latter than the former. Even from an action movie perspective, there's really not much to be gained from seeing this in theaters.
Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend
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