Formula: Charlie’s Angels – Charlie
It’s easy to see the appeal of The 355. It takes a bunch of great and popular actresses (two Oscar winners, one more eventual Oscar winner, one of China’s biggest stars) who have all dabbled in action movies and puts them in a spy movie co-written and directed by the writer of numerous blockbusters over the last decade+. It’s one of those movies I was going to give a chance to no matter what I heard about it. There were a few warning signs though. Director Simon Kinberg’s other directorial effort was the rightfully panned and disregarded Dark Phoenix. As much as I love the cast, there’s no one in it that made me think “How’d they get ___ for this?” A January release, even in crazy COVID times, is worrisome, as that’s one of the few remaining dumping grounds on the box office calendar. Ultimately, my stance on the criticism of The 355 (26% on Rotten Tomatoes) falls under the category of “I hear you, but calm down.”
I won’t say the story of the film is anything special. There’s a program that, in the wrong hands, could cause WWIII or something. Jessica Chastain, Lupita Nyong’o, Bingbing Fan Penelope Cruz, and Diane Kruger are all agents working for competing countries to stop the device from getting into the wrong hands. When they realize they are all fighting for the same cause and the agencies they work for have moles or outright villains in them, they form an uneasy alliance. This is a pretty boilerplate setup. Anyone seeing the movie is there for the team up, not the plot.
The 355 has many issues. I can’t deny that. It’s a movie where you see every twist coming, but I don’t think the filmmakers are trying to sell you very hard on the twists. Of course someone is a double-agent or we’re misunderstanding someone’s motivation. I signed up for that. It takes too long to put the team together and the ending definitely overstays its welcome. The movie is not as fun as I’d like. And I don’t just mean funny and banter-y. I mean there isn’t much life to the relationships that develop between the characters. They feel more like a checklist of backgrounds. The action sequences are fine. Post-John Wick, there’s always the hope that a movie will show off physicality a little more. Simon Kinberg just isn’t that kind of director.
I’ve heard the sentiment that this feels more like a streaming movie. Netflix has a collection of produced or acquired films like Gunpowder Milkshake, Kate, and Ava that all have the “here’s an actress you like beating people up” appeal. I do think The 355 is destined to do better streaming. There’s something about a theatrical release that gets people expecting a movie to be more. I’m guilty of this. When I go out of my way to see a movie in a theater, I can challenge it to justify itself rather than just appreciate that it’s doing its thing.
The 355 isn’t a serious movie. The highest reasonable expectations for it were maybe $100 million box office with international appeal and a reasonable streaming and rental life. It’ll fall short of that. Most movies do. It was enjoyable enough for me though. Jessica Chastain is good at being good at her job. I don’t get to see Diane Kruger enough, and I hope this gets her into more OK action movies. Nyong’o always elevates her material. I do think Penelope Cruz is wasted with the “rookie” or “civilian” role in this. And Bingbing Fan could’ve been inserted a little better.
If you’ve noticed, this isn’t a ringing endorsement from me. However, the poor opening weekend numbers and Rotten Tomatoes score make it seem a lot worse than it is.
Verdict: Weakly Don’t Recommend
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