Tuesday, June 21, 2022

Movie Reaction: Crimes of the Future

Formula: Brazil * eXistenZ

 


There are some directors that can make an audience nervous just by having a new film. Guys like Gaspar Noe and Lars von Trier can scare me away from a theater because I know if I’m not gelling with a movie they make, I’m in for an excruciating 2 hours. They are known for going to extremes and taking huge swings. David Cronenberg has this reputation as well, although it hasn’t been as deserved the last two decades. If I say Cronenberg, you think of body horror, Videodrome, The Fly, etc. He hasn’t really gone that direction since 1999’s eXistenZ though. 2000s releases like A History of Violence and A Dangerous Method aren’t exactly tame, but they aren’t as crazy as his earlier work. And I’d argue that his uses that metatextually in those films. They are tenser than they should be because, since it’s Cronenberg, they can flip on a dime at any moment. Crimes of the Future is Cronenberg returning to being Cronenberg.

 

I won’t waste your time anymore with anticipation. I hated this movie. And that’s OK. Had Cinemascore tracked this movie, it most certainly would be an F score. It’s that kind of movie. Most people will hate it. A few people will love it. As much as I enjoy being a contrarian, sometimes I’m with most people on something.

 

Crimes of the Future is set in a near future where humans have messed with themselves so much that they are fighting off mutations. Most people can no longer feel pain, for instance. There are some who start naturally growing new organs. These new organs can lead to them no longer being considered human but a different species entirely, so they remove them to stay legally human. Saul (Viggo Mortensen) and Caprice (Lea Seydoux) are performance artists who make shows out of him getting his new organs that she first tattooed removed from his body. It’s very sexual, because apparently surgery is the new sex. Without getting too deep into things, Saul and Caprice get mixed up with a group of people who do surgeries to themselves so they can digest plastic (“eat a modern diet” they say). The police are trying to stop these plastic eaters, and that’s the surface tension of the movie. There’s a lot more going on, like Kristen Stewart as a mousy-voiced employee of the department of organ registration. I don’t have the space to get into it all, but trust me that it’s a lot.

 

Technically speaking, I think the film is well made. Everyone gives specific and mannered performances. It’s the kind of thing where I assume everyone kind of hurt themselves just by talking in scenes. The production design is warped in a very Cronenberg way, mixing technology with organic substances. The whole world is cleverly thought out even though it never feels real. The film is an accomplishment that was rightly competing for the Palm d’Or at Cannes this year. But I didn’t like it.

 

The performances bothered me. I think the mannerisms drove the performances too much. It was a lot of Viggo Moretensen adjusting his hyoid bone and Kristen Stewart seeing how barely she could talk when delivering a line. I don’t fully follow the logic of the world, like why surgery is the new sex. The driving force of a lot of it struck me as “what would look gnarly?” In general, I’ve never responded well to films/shows where the point was to make me uncomfortable. It’s why The Office hasn’t aged as well for me and why I never really loved “The Dinner Party” episode. My physical reaction to it outweighs any mental engagement I get. That makes me a poor Cronenberg audience. And, I might as well end with my laziest criticism. It’s boring. I started to drift off midway through this which is something I rarely do. The pacing wasn’t aligned with me. It reminded me of in math class when the teacher would stop to explain the part I already understood then hop around at the part of the problem I was having trouble following. It was a tedious viewing experience.

 

I should’ve known this was a film better for me to watch at home. I need an escape hatch for a Cronenberg movie so I’m not trapped when I realize it’s not working for me 10 minutes in. I think there are valid reasons to like the movie too. Just please don’t come to me with “You just didn’t get it.” I get enough of that crap from the Lynch fans.

 

Verdict: Strongly Don’t Recommend

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