I would like to expose a poorly concealed conspiracy that has been going on right under our noses or rather, tongues.
Candy is totally gay!
Think about it.
Milky Way. So creamy, right?
Starburts - queer as fuck (juicy and fruity).
3 Musketeers, three dudes with porn mustaches dressed in costume.
Do we need to even guess what M&M stands for? Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
Twix are pretty phallic, aren't they?
Skittles, taste the rainbow. Subtle.
Baby Ruth? We all know that stopped meaning baseball a long time ago.
Butterfinger, Lemon head, Juicy Fruit.
And Reeces...actually, there ain't nothing wrong about Reeces, so don't even look.
Even Twizlers look like a limp dick, especially around a pair of Jelly Beans. Yes, that concept may seem a little disproportional, but not if it's black Licorice, right?
Need I continue?
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