Delayed Reaction: Red Heat

What I Guessed It Was About: Arnold Schwarzenegger is in an action movie. Jim Belushi plays off Schwarzenegger exactly the same as the dog in his upcoming role in K-9. Cultures clash. Badguys are slain.

How I Came Into It: I just watched The Man From UNCLE so I was ready for this. An American. A Russian. One's wise-crackin'. The other's all-business. Yeah, it's pretty familiar. This came in the middle of arguably the best run of Arnold's career too, with Predator and The Running Man right before it and Twins, Total Recall, Kindergarten Cop, and T2 immediately after. This is even a pretty good period for Belushi.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I thought this started pretty well and ended pretty well. The beginning has some fun with the bathhouse scene, getting all the required 80s-nudity out of the way early. The end has some good quips. Perhaps my favorite line of the movie is when Belushi says "I give up. This whole thing's very Russia". It was a nice little self-aware moment.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This movie never pulled me in. All the pieces were there. I just never cared. Someone decided that it was a good idea to humanize Schwarzenegger and either he wasn't ready for that kind of role yet, or they didn't come up with enough else for him to do. Belushi made me appreciate how good Tom Arnold is in True Lies, which isn't aiming that high. This needed to be campier or crazier or better written or better acted. I'm not sure which.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend