Movie Reaction: 21 Bridges

Formula: Bridge of Spies - spies + 20 bridges

For some reason, nearly every screen grab I found of this is a picture of him showing 

his badge like this, but from multiple different scenes.

 
I should've watched 21 Bridges at 5pm on a Saturday on TNT in 2002.

I can't describe the movie better than that, but it's not going to mean anything to a lot of people. You see, especially in the 90s and into the 00s, there was this brand of crime thriller that wasn't really an event film that you had to see right away, but if you caught it while channel surfing, you'd lose an afternoon to watching it. A lot of these were adapted from John Grisham or Tom Clancy novels. I always think of The Negotiator as emblematic of this type of movie. I'd miss the first 15 minutes of it but still have a basic idea of what's happening. I'd get to the end and wouldn't have a single thought about it. The twist was unexpected without being surprising. The action scenes would be functional without being impressive. My only thought about the lead performer would be "I'm glad he's getting work" (the only time it ever seemed to be a "she" was when it was Ashley Judd).

That's pretty much how I feel about 21 Bridges. It's a very straightforward movie. A couple criminals stumble onto a massive cocaine stash. They run into some cops and kill several; enough to get all exits from Manhattan Island closed down for the night while the police hunt them down. The lead detective (Chadwick Boseman), known for his aggressive tactics, runs the manhunt and, in the process, uncovers a bigger conspiracy. You could probably guess a dozen scenes that are in the movie just from that, but that doesn't take away from the enjoyment of the movie; no more than seeing your favorite sports team win with the same basic offensive strategy every week against different opponents doesn't get boring.

Chadwick Boseman is still a bit of a mystery to me. I like seeing him on screen, but I don't associate him with anything. Even as Black Panther, he mostly cedes the interesting character work to whoever his screen partner is. I know I've seen him in other movies too, but I couldn't tell you what without checking IMDB. Still, I see him show up on screen and, at the very least, I think "Oh, this movie is going to be fine". Siena Miller plays a narcotics officer working with Boseman, and, I'm just never going to reach a point where I recognize Siena Miller. I've seen her in many movies, often in prominent roles. Still, I spent most of the movie thinking "Who is that? She's too young to be Maria Bello. Maybe a brunette actress dyed her hair? I'm sure it will come to be eventually." It didn't. She is also fine in her role. J.K. Simmons is captain of the precinct all the dead officers belonged to. He's fine too. Stephan James is the more sympathetic robber in the manhunt. The movie goes out of its way to make it clear that he didn't actually kill any of the cops. James is - you guessed it - fine. I was surprised how long it took me to recognize Taylor Kitsch as the other robber - the one who actually killed all the cops. I think I'm too used to his muscular Tim Riggins look. He's satisfactory, and by that, I mean he's fine.

If you can't tell, I'm having a hard time working up strong feelings about this movie. It is exactly what it's billed as: an entertaining crime thriller. There are some good chase scenes and shootouts. Good actors bounce off one another. The montage of the police actually shutting Manhattan off did a really nice job of showing how big that undertaking is. And, the pace of the movie surprised me a bit. It sort of stutter-steps intentionally. I had trouble figuring out if I was 45 minutes or 1h15 minutes into the movie, which was fun. It made it harder to assign it a three act structure. I guess I'll leave it with this: to all of you people out there complaining about the death of the mid-budget "movies for grown-ups", here you go. 21 Bridges is going to barely cover its budget or fall very short of it depending on how you do the math. And it's a perfectly fine movie. So go see it. Otherwise, this kind of movie is going to go away.

Verdict: Weakly Recommend

Oh, one last thing.

Movie Theater LVP (Least Valuable Patrons): Let me set the scene for you. It's the Sunday after Thanksgiving. I'm at the local multiplex for a 1 pm showing of 21 Bridges. It's a theater with the fancy chairs and assigned seating. I get into my theater and go to my seat, only to find in the seats next to me, there are two grown-ass adults laying down horizontally (the arm rests lift up), making out. And this isn't even in some corner of the theater. It's central seating. I'm a rule follower, so I sit down at my seat anyway and do my best to ignore these people. Thankfully, I was already listening to a podcast on my headphones, so it was easier to ignore them. I could only partly hear them, but I could tell that they thought this was very funny. Clearly, I was the weird one for sitting down and not being scandalized by what they were doing. So, this carries on for about 5 more minutes before they both get up and leave the theater, never to be seen again. As I see it, there are two scenarios to explain these people. 1) They are going around to random empty-ish theaters at 1 pm on a Sunday afternoon to make out semi-publically. Real suburban thrill-seekers, I guess. 2) They saw the 10:30 am showing on a Sunday, and all the people getting bullets through their heads got them frisky. So they started making out and continued all the way through the credits, after the employees cleaned the theater up, and nearly into the next showing.

So, that was annoying. I mean, it's still better than someone talking throughout the movie or looking at their phone. Something about the time, day, and movie really threw me off though. Drop their ages by about a decade and make it a 10pm Friday showing of Last Christmas: That would still be annoying, but it wouldn't be wholly unexpected.

Maybe if it happens again, I should just silently stare at them and eat my popcorn. I mean, my "creepy loner at a movie theater" credentials are already unimpeachable.