Movie Reaction: Ticket to Paradise

Formula: (One Fine Day + Notting Hill + 20 Years) / Father of the Bride

 

No matter what I do to combat it, reviews will always be prisoners to the moment. I can’t help it. They will always be seen through the prism of the time they were written. And, in this moment, I really want to see charming RomComs with movie stars being winsome. For that reason, I enjoyed Ticket to Paradise.

 

The story itself is pure RomCom. Julia Roberts and George Clooney play the long-divorced bickering parents of Kaitlyn Dever. After graduating college, Dever goes on a vacation to Bali, falls for a boy, and decides to marry him and stay there. Clooney and Roberts begrudgingly form a united front to go to Bali and convince her not to do get married. Of course, close proximity in paradise can ignite old flames. You can guess what happens from there. You’ve seen this movie even if you haven’t seen this movie, and that’s cool with me.

 

The film is directed by Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again director Ol Parker who has landed a career of making light-hearted films in beautiful locations where everyone feeds off good vibes. I’m jealous, frankly. I don’t know what there is to say about the movie, because anyone who will enjoy it already knows if they’ll enjoy it. I can understand having reached your limit already on movies about pretty white people who can apparently afford to take a week (or more) off to hang out in Bali. For me, there are so few movies like that anymore that I was ready for it.

 

Roberts and Clooney are old pros at this as well as old friends. I wouldn’t call their romantic chemistry undeniable, but I sure do like seeing them on screen together in general. I’ve yet to dislike Kaitlyn Dever in anything. I wasn’t super invested in her relationship with Maxime Bouttier’s character. They’re young and attractive though. That’s enough. Billie Lourd is there too as Dever’s best friend just hanging out on the island. The movie doesn’t know what to do with her, but she’s having too much fun to cut her out of the movie. A part of my brain decided to pretend this was a stealth sequel to Booksmart.

The worst thing I can say about the movie is that it’s a comedy of good vibes more than a laugh riot. Really, the only thing this movie was missing was characters randomly breaking into ABBA songs.

 

Side Rant: Ol Parker is 2 for 2 now with movies where the character ages don’t line up. Here We Go Again is insane. I broke that down in that Reaction. Ticket to Paradise isn’t as crazy, but it still doesn’t make total sense. So, Roberts got married to Clooney when she graduated college. Clooney was a grad student at the time. They had Dever soon after. Dever is graduating from Law School, making her about 25. That’s shockingly accurate for Dever, who tends to still be cast as younger characters in other films. However, that puts Clooney (~61) and Roberts (~55) in the 47-50 range for this movie. Honestly, it’s not a big deal. It’s just getting funny to me that Ol Parker doesn’t give a shit about character ages in his movies.

 

Verdict: Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: One Cut of the Dead

Premise: An indie film crew is tasked with filming a zombie movie in one unbroken cut.

 

I’m going to give my increasingly common warning that this is a movie that’s best to go into unaware of what it is. Not because it is big on twists; rather a lot of why I loved this movie was because I let it surprise me and win me over. So, consider this my enthusiastic thumbs up and your last warning before I talk openly about the movie.

 

This film is broken into three parts, and it is so much fun finding that out while watching it. The first part is a bad 30-minute found-footage zombie movie. I watched this part thoroughly unimpressed. I’d heard great things about this movie; how it was made cheaply and overachieved so much. Despite how bad the movie was, I at least appreciated what appeared to be an authentic single-take. There didn’t appear to be clever editing. This really seemed to be done in a single take.

 

Then, 30-minutes in, there are closing credits. The film jumps back a month and reveals that what I just watched was the end product of as a live, single-take film commissioned by a TV station. The second act introduces all the actors and crew on the movie. It gives the background for them and the plan. I’ll admit, even this wasn’t doing much for me. It felt like lazy studio and filmmaking commentary. I still wasn’t getting why this movie was so praised.

 

Finally, I got to the third act where it all came together. That’s when it shows everything that was going on while the film from the first-act was playing out. Suddenly, all the odd pauses, strange acting choices, and narrative inconsistencies all made sense. Everything from the drunk actor throwing up to the director’s wife getting way too into her role started paying off wonderfully. I can’t think of the last time a movie won me over so much by the end after losing me so early.

 

Verdict: Strongly Recommend

Movie Reaction: Black Adam

Formula: 1 / Shazam!

Can we all collectively accept that superhero movies are a staple now? It seems like any time a superhero movie doesn’t destroy a box office record, the whispers pick up about if audiences have reached a saturation point. Look, it’s been at least two decades of this whether you want to use Spider-Man (2002), X-Men (2000), or even Batman (1989) or Superman (1976) as your starting point. That’s longer than basically any era other than Westerns. In the last year, Spider-Man: No Way Home blew away all box office expectations, The Batman made a $350 million domestic despite brand confusion and fatigue, and two MCU movies exceeded their prior installments in the box office. Even if Black Adam is seen as a disappointment, it’s still the biggest opening of Dwayne Johnson’s career*. So, even I am bored theorizing about what Black Adam could mean for the DECU or superhero market in general. I’d rather look at the film like any random Dwayne Johnson blockbuster.

 

*As the sole star. Technically, he’s in Fast and Furious and Mummy movies that opened bigger, but he was very supporting in those films.

 

Black Adam (Dwayne Johnson) is the story of a magical hero of a fictional middle eastern (?) nation of Sabbac. He was given powers by sorcerers to defend Sabbac but was magically imprisoned. In the thousands of years since his imprisonment, Sabbac has been run by a series of tyrants and thugs. One day in the present, archeologist Adrianna Tomaz (Sarah Shahi) accidentally awakens Black Adam. It turns out, Black Adam isn’t a noble hero. He’s vengeful and quick to kill. He then has to figure out if he really wants to be the hero that Sabbac needs. Meanwhile, an off-brand Justice League called the Justice Society, led by Hawkman (Aldis Hodge), has been sent to put a stop to Black Adam. Apparently, an all-powerful being who doesn’t give a shit is dangerous to society. The story is messy; messy in a way that I like. It’s fun that there are three opposing forces in this. The balance shifts a lot. The Justice Society are the traditional good guys, but are they really in the right? Black Adam certainly isn’t evil, but isn't a hero either. And the bad guy who I forget, is he – no, he’s just a bad guy. It’s a comic movie. It’s only going to get so complex.

 

As a Dwayne Johnson vehicle, I wasn’t super impressed with the movie. He’s fine, but the character felt thin. I don’t see why Johnson has spent so many years trying to get this movie made. However, as a 90s action movie made in 2022, I enjoyed this movie. Two movies I kept thinking of as I watched this were T2: Judgment Day and The Power Rangers Movie (1995). Black Adam bonds with Adrianna’s teen son, Amon (Bodhi Sabongui), who introduces him to modern life and concepts, much like John and the Terminator in T2. Obviously, the big difference here is that the Terminator is a robot and Adam is a person. In one, a lack of personality is a feature. In the other, it’s a bug. The Power Rangers comparison is a little harder to pinpoint. I think it has to do with the feeling of this being part of a larger world – ex. Amanda Waller is the one who deploys the Justice Society – yet it's self-contained. It didn’t feel like this was trying to set up a larger world. It’s not as quippy as an MCU movie or as dark as The Batman. It’s a happy medium, although that does lead to a lack of any distinguishing characteristics.

 

The eclectic cast of DC characters does leave Black Adam feeling like a movie built out of the leftover pieces of the DECU. That leaves room for entertaining performances by Noah Centineo, Quintessa Swindell, and Pierce Brosnan. I don’t see this specific tone as something DC will revisit. The movie is far more anonymous than bad.

 

Verdict: Weakly Don’t Recommend

Quickly Reaction: My Bloody Valentine

I appreciate the horror movies that never seems to die simply because they have a good title. My Bloody Valentine is a very forgettable movie. It absolutely plays like a slapdash attempt to get on the slasher bandwagon of the late 70s then 80s. However, My Bloody Valentine is a terrific title. Like, I know that the proper way to write something is to pick the title last, or at least not let a title dictate the story, but I fully understand the desire to write a horror movie to fit “My Bloody Valentine” after thinking of the title. Did the phrase even exist before this? I don’t care. Beyond the great title, I do think the mining backdrop is decently original. Otherwise, I can’t point to much that really stood out about the movie. It’s harmless enough though if you generally enjoy slashers.

Verdict: Weakly Don’t Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Superhost

Premise: A travel vlogger couple rent a house owned by a very unstable woman.

 

It’s funny to me that house sharing has become so popular despite many people apparently being terrified of it. Over the last decade, AirBnB or similar sites have been the inspiration for countless films. The Rental. Barbarian. Creep. 13 and 14 Cameras (to an extent) immediately come to mind. It makes sense too. The system is lightly regulated and fairly anonymous. It involves someone moving to an unknown space and doesn’t even have the familiarity of being the summer home of a friend of a friend.

 

So, no, Superhost isn’t the most original idea. It’s well done though. The vlogger background of the leads explains why the found footage cameras capture so much of what happens. I appreciate that the central couple are dealing with their own issues (relationship and business) even before superhost Rebecca (Gracie Gillam) shows up. Something about Gillam being a former Disney Channel star adds to her performance. I didn’t realize her past while watching the movie, but it made so much sense afterward.

This is a very satisfying little found footage horror movie that delivers the exact kind of scares I wanted going in. I appreciate the last little jab at the end, even though it wasn’t exactly subtle commentary.

 

Verdict: Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: I Came By

Premise: A political graffiti artist uncovers something nefarious in the home of his latest target.

It’s so simple, but the idea that you messed with the wrong guy is a movie premise that can be revisited over and over without getting worn out. In a more general sense, so many movies are about people who do something a lot and this is the time it happens differently. A mailman delivers the mail each day but today he finds a magic egg. A woman gets a coffee at the same café but today she runs into her old boyfriend from college that moved to town. I Came By is very much one of these movies. George MacKay vandalizes a lot of houses, and this is the one he should’ve left alone.

 

I Came By is a film that I’ll remember positively for the same reasons I probably won’t watch it again. There are some big narrative shifts in the movie that genuinely surprised me. As a result, I never got firm footing while watching it. There was the feeling that anything could happen next, which is something that’s very hard to pull off. However, tropes become tropes for a reason. Filmmakers don’t structure so many movies the same way just because they are lazy. There are formulas that work. We know the pacing and the structure work. When a film disrupts the expected flow of the story, that can be thrilling, but it’s harder to make the structure work. That’s why climactic battles normally don’t start movies. There are ways to make it work. It’s just harder. I Came By makes some exciting choices but that does result in a story with a stuttered pace.

 

What that means is that this is a refreshing movie as a change of pace. It’s there to remind you that not every thriller is going to hit the same tired beats. It’s not a standard bearer of the genre though. It is helped by a strong cast though. Hugh Bonneville gets to use his Downtown Abbey respectability to good use. George MacKay gets to play a modern character for a change. Kelly Macdonald and Percelle Ascott are good too, although I’m not ready to believe that Macdonald is old enough to play MacKay’s mother. The movie even has a couple really terrific comic moments. One in particular will stick with me for a while.

 

Verdict: Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Hellraiser (2022)

Premise: A woman steals the puzzle box, not knowing what it is, and after it takes her brother, she must track down what the box is and why that happened.

 

I continue to have less to say about this franchise than I’d like. The puzzle box remains a great horror totem. The Cenobites continue to be one of the coolest horror creatures. The most important thing about this Hellraiser is that it functions as a great re-entry point in the series. It’s true to the original movie while updating to something more modern. In particular, it feels right that by this era, a millionaire would absolutely be outsourcing the work to get and activate the box.

 

Odessa A’zion is a nice heroine for the movie. I like that this franchise attracts fundamentally broken people. Even though A’zion ends up being the purest character in the film, even she is recovering from drug addiction.

 

The nature of the gifts from the Cenobites intrigues me. They are really tricking people. It’s not a monkey’s paw situation. The people chasing these gifts aren’t in it for traditional wishes. Mostly, they are just numb and looking for a way to finally feel something again. I can’t think of another horror movie that takes that angle.

 

Verdict: Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: V/H/S/99

Premise: Another horror anthology made up of found footage-style shorts.

 

At this point, it’s safe to call V/H/S my favorite horror franchise. The first two movies are among my favorite films in any genre. The structure of the anthologies is ideal. Since all shorts are supposed to be found-footage, there’s a consistency in style. The producers putting this together appear to give the filmmakers enough guidance that the tones don’t conflict. One of my least favorite things in horror anthologies is when one short is dark and serious then the next tries to be funny in a way the deflates the whole thing. That’s rarely been a problem with V/H/S. Even when a segment is funny, it’s not actively undoing the structure of the movie. Despite this control of tone and style, the filmmakers are giving freedom everywhere else. The V/H/S mythology is very loose. There’s a collective who collect tapes of horror for…reasons unknown. They seem to be up to something nefarious, but that’s all we know. As a result, the tapes can be about anything, as long as it looks like a found tape.

 

The franchise went dormant after 2014’s V/H/S Viral. That was by far my least favorite installment. I thought it meant they were either out of ideas or out of good filmmakers to recruit. Thankfully though, Shudder has resurrected the franchise and appears to be making these annually again. V/H/S/94 last year was a fine return to form. V/H/S/85 is coming next year. And this year we get V/H/S/99.

 

I might as well break this down by segment.

 

Shredding

This is the story of an alt-band who goes to an abandoned music venue for a secret show in the spot where another band was killed in an accident I really liked all the “re-recorded VHS” effects. I still remember using the same tape over and over myself and getting snippets of old recordings at the beginning and end. That was a nice touch. The story itself is good but not spectacular. The recording feels a lot more like an amateur web series now than in 1999, but long ago I let go of perfect fidelity in found footage movies. There are some gnarly kills and cool visuals, especially toward the end, so I was pleased with it.

 

Suicide Bid

Again, it’s best not to question how much video coverage this sorority prank gone wrong has. This was a stand out for me. It felt very 1999 in costuming. I love a good claustrophobic horror story. This is a great example of why horror in anthology size works so well. A 90-minute feature of this story would get tedious. This short bite is straight to the point and doesn’t stick around long enough for me to ask any questions about the supernatural element.

 

Ozzy’s Dungeon

I’ve already seen per Twitter that tastes vary on this one. It’s the story of a family getting revenge on the host of a Legends of the Hidden Temple-esque show after an on-set accident. Then it morphs into something much more supernatural. I absolutely love the ambition of this one. "Safe Haven" in V/H/S/2 remains the high point of the franchise because the filmmakers refused to let the story feel small just because it was a horror anthology. I like that director Flying Lotus goes big on this too.

 

I really, really hate the style of this one though. Found-footage works best with less polish. It’s easy to make a guy running around a dark house cheaply. It’s much harder to make a fake game show set cheaply. The Ozzy’s Dungeon show footage looks very fake. It’s shot like it’s a horror movie, which makes no sense with the found footage style. This reminded me a lot of “Dante the Great” from V/H/S Viral, which I absolutely despised. At no point does "Ozzy’s Dungeon" feel real. For that reason, it took me out of the flow of the movie. In a different anthology, it would’ve worked a lot better for me, but it doesn’t belong in V/H/S. Not in that style, at least.

 

The Gawkers

This is the most vintage V/H/S segment of the bunch. The premise of why this was being recorded made the most sense. It’s a bunch of horny teens with a camera snooping on a hot neighbor. It then has the V/H/S twist of the neighbor being a gorgon, which is fun. It’s not the most original of the bunch, but it’s well done and simple. The V/H/S movies need a good balance.

 

As the linking video to the others, this doesn’t work as well. Part of the reason why the first two-V/H/S movies are my favorites is because the linking segments made the most sense. Both are simply people going into a house and watching a few tapes before something bad then happens to them. The mythology is light, but it’s enough to make sense and form a structure. Since then, they’ve tried going bigger with the linking which hasn’t worked as well. In V/H/S/99, they don’t even try to explain why I’m watching these 5 short films cut together like this. I suppose the idea is that all these stories were copied onto this one tape that we are watching. That’s certainly better than whatever was going on in V/H/S/94.

 

To Hell and Back

I can deal with comic segments in V/H/S as long as they still stick to the conceit of the film. "To Hell and Back" is quite silly. Two friends get sent to hell on accident by witches performing a ritual and have to figure out how to get back to the world of the living. It sticks to the single camera though. The witches are actually able to perform supernatural spells. The comedy of the two friends comes from them being overwhelmed but taking the situation seriously. I quite enjoyed how it was done.

 

Overall, V/H/S/99 is a great installment in the franchise. I’ll never love a V/H/S as much as the first two movies. That love came as much from alchemy and context as quality. That can’t be reproduced. As an installment of a sustainable franchise though, I have no complaints. I’m curious to see what many of the participating filmmakers do next.

 

Verdict: Strongly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Pool

Premise: A couple get trapped in an empty pool with a crocodile.

 

The Pool is a movie so ludicrous that everyone watching it decides to turn off their brains and love it. I love that there is this corner of horror. A filmmaker comes up with a compelling, implausible idea and decides to just made it happen. Don't Breathe is a sweaty premise that needs a ton of setup. Once it is set up though, it's a lot of fun. Crawl as well. That scenario would never happen, but if it did, it sure would be compelling to watch. The Pool is one of these too. Every single beat of this is almost comically designed to go from bad to worse.

 

Day (Theeradej Wongpuapan) has to be the last person left at this pool. This pool has to be abandoned. There has to be a photoshoot where there are objects at the bottom of the pool. There has to be no ladder. He has to fall asleep for just long enough for the pool to drain. When Koi (Ratnamon Ratchiratham) shows up, Day has to be asleep. She has to not notice there's no way out of the pool. A crocodile has to show up. It has to slip on some pipes to land in the pool. That's just to set up the main plot. After that, the movie stacks extra complications for the hell of it. Koi sustains a head injury jumping into the pool. Day gets his phone but drops in in the water. The dog is on a leash with just enough give that it could hang itself falling into the pool. The crocodile has eggs to protest. Day is diabetic and doesn't have his insulin. Pizza delivery guy shows up for exactly as long as Day is trapped at the bottom of the pool. There are at least 4 other complications I can think of. This movie stacks and stacks and stacks. It's not graceful writing. The premise isn't as simple as a Buried or a Phone Booth. It requires a lot to keep it going; not to mention how much of this idea is pulled (probably coincidentally) from an It's Always Sunny episode.

 

Because of how transparently the movie is stacking the deck against the characters, eventually I just embraced it all. I know the movie isn't categorized as comedy, but I have to imagine the filmmaker had a sense of humor when making this.

 

Verdict: Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Conspiracy

Premise: Two friends making a documentary about conspiracy theorists accidentally uncover a conspiracy.

I'm a well-known found-footage slut. It's a style that really works for me. In the same way that slasher fans still like even the tired 7th installment of a franchise, I tend to like even the sloppiest found footage movies. In that respect, I got what I wanted out of The Conspiracy. In particular, the last act, when they've infiltrated the conspiracy gathering and it's all being covered with hidden cameras really worked for me. It's not revolutionary, but it's effectively done.

 

I do have a problem when it's not clear what I'm being sold with the found footage premise though. For example, V/H/S is a collection of found V/H/S tapes that people are watching. Paranormal Activity is an edited collection of camera footage by increasingly paranoid people. Even if I don't understand exactly how this footage is getting edited together so well and concisely, I get the idea of the presentation. For The Conspiracy, it's less clear to me. At times, it looks like I'm watching the documentary the two men made. At other times, it looks like I'm watching raw footage the way it was found. For example, at the end, we see Aaron getting killed by the Tarsus club and Jim getting his family threatened by the club. Then there's an epilogue showing Jim taking their side and claiming the footage was just an act. That really annoys me. If The Conspiracy is supposed to be the approved spin of the Tarsus Club, then how did 90% of the film make the final cut. If it's supposed to be the footage discovered of their research, then why the spin piece at the end? I love found footage, but I do get annoyed when the footage doesn't make internal sense.

 

I guess that means The Conspiracy is a generally good found footage movie as long as you don't require the strictest fidelity with the presentation.

 

Verdict: Weakly Don't Recommend