Delayed Reaction: Hot Shots: Part Deux

The Pitch: The first movie actually made money. Why stop now?

What Took Me So Long: I hadn't seen the first movie. Then, I hated the first movie. I do not like this style of parody.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Inertia.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: The first movie went after Top Gun. This went after Rambo. The style is still the same. I barely liked it in the Naked Gun movies and those are the best cast scenario. This is like a 15 years earlier Meet the Spartans. Hard pass.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Dante's Peak

The Pitch: Who would win in a fight: James Bond or a volcano?

What Took Me So Long: Disaster movies are not my thing. Not normally.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) If nothing else, finally being able to compare it to Volcano would be worth it. Of the two, this one really did play as less of a reaction (Volcano came out later and had a generic title).

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It's kind of a blur. It's a small town. People are doubting that Pierce Brosnan is right about the volcano. There's an eruption. They have to save people. Most action movies don't age well, no matter how much money goes into them. I mentally checked out pretty early and I forgot it quickly. I wouldn't say it's bad, merely unremarkable.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Point Break

The Pitch: Bank robbing surfers, dude.

What Took Me So Long: I could never tell if people talked about it as a punchline or because it's pretty good. It exists in a weird space.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) It's stayed relevant in pop culture far longer than anyone could've expected at the time. The trifecta of Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, and Gary Busey is a perfect storm of sorts, each with their own baggage before and since. I can't quite put my finger on what about the movie works. I'll assume it has something to do with Kathryn Bigelow directing it.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It's a stupid movie. There's no two ways about it. I mean, how can anyone watch the ending and not crack a smile? It's hard to get too worked up over the thought of surfers as a threat.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Searching for Bobby Fischer

The Pitch: The true story of a kid who was a chess prodigy AND had a normal childhood.

What Took Me So Long: I had a hard time finding it.

Why I Saw It: As someone who has always been awful at chess, I'm kind of fascinated by it. Even more interesting is the world of competitive chess. Throw in kids and I'm entrenched. Max Pomeranc is solid in this. He's not a great child actor, but sometimes just knowing how to stay out of the way of the adult performers is all that's required. This is the best role I've seen for Joe Mategna. It's redundant to say Ben Kingsley is good (then again, have you seen some of the movies he's in?). Lawrence Fishburne is having some fun too.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: "Based on a true story" is a dangerous thing because the true story is rarely cinematic. Numerous beats in the movie felt very played up to make it more interesting. Linked to that, I can't tell if the movie is trying to be a family movie or something more adult that happens to be about kids, so it's uneven at times.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Bone Collector

The Pitch: I bet Denzel Washington could make a movie a hit literally laying in bed the whole time.

What Took Me So Long: It's one of those movies that I confused with about a dozen other movies so often that I lost track of it(i.e. It is not The Jacket, The Collector, or The Lovely Bones).

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) There's something fun about watching anything with Angelina Jolie before she was the Angelina we know now. She still has an air of having something to prove in this. She was still "Jon Voight's daughter" when this came out. It's surprising how charismatic even a quadriplegic Denzel Washington is.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: While it's what sets the movie apart from similar ones, Denzel's condition is a Harrison Burgeron-level (pardon the word choice) handicap on the whole thing. It's like they are ramping up the adversity for the sport of it.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Weekly Basketball Picks: 1/17-1/23

One thing is becoming abundantly clear to me: Conference rivalries change everything. I sucked this week, mostly thanks to the Big 12 being so damn competitive. Even with a sub .500 record this week, I didn't account for some of the other upsets of the week (Wisconsin, Arizona). At this point, I'm just hoping to keep my record above .666 for the season.

Record 3-7 (Overall 64-31)
Virginia over Notre Dame - Still undefeated and at times, looking better than Kentucky.
Louisville over North Carolina - Looks like UNC decided to show up.
West Virginia over Iowa St. - It looks like it's easier to win on the road than I thought.
Oklahoma over Kansas St. - Has the Kansas St. I predicted in the preseason finally shown up?
Indiana over Ohio St. - Neither team wanted to win.
Old Dominion over WKU - I should've stuck with my gut on this one.
Oklahoma over West Virginia - Looks like Oklahoma is starting to crumble.
Duke over Miami - Wow. I want to say this way Miami looking good, but this was really Duke looking bad.
Villanova over Xavier - Like there was ever a doubt?
Wyoming over San Diego St. - Is this the beginning of a turnaround for the Aztecs?


Kentucky at Alabama (Saturday)
After three overtimes in two games to open SEC play, everyone is looking for when that first Kentucky loss will come. I am too, but the Wildcats are still the overwhelming favorites of any game they go into for conference play.
WINNER: Kentucky

Duke at Louisville (Saturday)
I'll be rooting for the Cardinals. While I don't think we live in a vacuum, I don't think that Duke's current 2-game skid will be much of a factor going in. Jahil Okafor is going to have a big game, but that hasn't mattered as the guards have fallen apart under pressure. The Louisville guards can disrupt them in the same way.
WINNER: Louisville

Kansas at Iowa St. (Saturday)
I give up on the Big 12. Kansas' size should be a problem for Iowa St., the Cyclones coming off a loss to Baylor. The Jayhawks haven't dominated teams with their size, so I think I'll go with the home team.
WINNER: Iowa St.

Utah at Arizona (Saturday)
As disjointed as they look at time Arizona wins at home. Utah might be too dependent on Delon Wright in this case.
WINNER: Arizona

Miami at Notre Dame (Saturday)
The Hurricanes just embarrassed Duke at home, but it's hard to tell how much of that is Duke being awful. I simply can't see them doing it again, this time against a better equipped Notre Dame team.
WINNER: Notre Dame

West Virginia at Texas (Saturday)
Yep, I'm going to remain stubborn about Texas. I don't care if Rick Barnes has a history of teams falling apart on him (See 2009-10 or that season when he had Kevin Durant and did nothing). They should be better.
WINNER: Texas

Oklahoma St. at Oklahoma (Saturday)
This is more interesting than I thought it would be at the beginning of the season. State lost some with the departure of Marcus Smart but they have a varied and talented team capable of making some noise in the Big 12. Oklahoma on the other hand, hasn't looked that great. They are the home team though.
WINNER: Oklahoma

Baylor at Kansas St. (Saturday)
I'm still not sold on Baylor being good, not am I ready to give up on Kansas St.
WINNER: Kansas St.

St. Mary's at Gonzaga (Thrusday)
A battle of the last two undefeated teams in the WCC. Then again, not all undefeateds are built the same. And Gonzaga being at home. Even as a rivalry it won't be very close.
WINNER: Gonzaga

Maryland at Indiana (Thursday)
The Hoosiers are tough to beat at home and I don't buy Maryland being top 15 good.
WINNER: Indiana

Delayed Reaction: Sabrina

The Pitch: Remember that classic movie Sabrina? Let's do that again.

What Took Me So Long: I figured that if I was going to see this movie, it would be the original version.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) It was on and I was bored. It's never going to come out favorably due to inevitable comparisons to the original. That said, Julia Ormond is charming, Harrison Ford and Greg Kinnear play the brothers well, and Sydney Pollack hits the needed beats. It's an amiable movie.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: The inevitable comparisons are with a classic movie starring Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Bogart, and William Holden. Guess what? That's a mighty comparison. The more damning thing is that it's not a movie in need of an update. Nothing about the remake felt particularly modern or different so it's really a pointless effort.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Waiting to Exhale

The Pitch: Angry black women move on from their bad relationships.

What Took Me So Long: I'm the opposite of the target demo for this.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) The pacing is more relaxed than you see in most movies. All four of the leads, I don't want to say they are having a good time since that's not the nature of the movie, but they are owning it, I guess. I've always liked Loretta Divine so it was good to see her.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This is a really anti-man movie. Like, I assume this was cathartic for a certain subset of spurned women, but it mostly made me uncomfortable. The male characters were exactly that: characters. None of them felt real. I rather strongly disliked this movie. It's a slight cop-out, but I'm really not the ideal audience for this and I think it was more specific to when it came out. In short, I'm grading this on a curve.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Chronicle

The Pitch: Let's make a found footage movie about a super hero origin.

What Took Me So Long: It had too much potential to fail when I first heard about it. Found footage works best for horror because the lack of explanation adds to the effect. In something like this, it's harder to make up for the gaps in the story.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I really like Michael B. Jordan (and was sad to see he didn't make it through the whole movie). Dane DeHaan is an interesting actor to follow too. I like how he began as the main character since he ends up being the antagonist. Having super powers be like a muscle is a cool idea that I'm surprised I haven't seen used before. Overall, it's a clever movie with good casting and an interesting story to tell.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: While the found footage element is a lot of what makes this special it is also majorly holding it back. This is most apparent in the climactic fight which is impossible to do well with the limitations. They work around it as best they can, but the lack of score, closeups, or any other traditional filming choices left me feeling empty when it was all said and done.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Smurfs 2

The Pitch: The first movie made how much money? Ok, well, let's make a sequel and...uh, set it in Paris.

What Took Me So Long: I was going to wait until I saw the first movie, then I decided that not much would be added from seeing the movies in order.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) NPH in a leading role? It's about time. I also like seeing Jayma Mays whenever I can. The voicecast of the Smurfs is wonderfully eclectic.  Where else are you going to find Katy Perry, Jonathan Winters (his final role. RIP), and Jeff Foxworthy in the same project?

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It's a fine kid's movie. There's not much for older audiences (although I didn't enjoy the birthday scene at the beginning, recapping all the dietary restrictions of the kids). I feel like the move to Paris drove the movie more than it should've (like they decided to set it in Paris THEN broke the story).

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend