Movie Reaction: The Five-Year Engagement

Formula: Like/Crazy + Comedy

Cast: Who are we kidding? The cast is why I saw this one. Jason Segel is great in this, but, unlike Forgetting Sarah Marshall or I Love You Man, this didn't always feel like he was in his element. Emily Blunt hasn't been able to do a good comedy since The Devil Wears Prada and this reminds you how much of a shame that is. Alison Brie and Chris Pratt are great, if not underused, and I would love to see a movie like this starring them one day (not as these characters. I just think they could move into starring roles with ease). The rest of the cast is a bunch of "oh, that guy" actors and actresses who all play their parts well.

Plot: It is eerie how similar this movie is to Like/Crazy, which hurt it a little for me. The girl is British. The story spans years. The ups and downs of the story even hit similar beats. This is a comedy though, a traditional one too, so it had some trouble mining it for the comedy. As a result, the move is well over 2 hours. Instead of meshing the comedy with the plot, the two felt distinct from one another, which why it is so long. Personally, I think the movie would've worked better if it was less concerned with the journey over the five years and let us deal with the fifth year for the majority of the time.
I didn't get surprised by anything in the movie, although that's not a bad thing. The movie isn't trying to reinvent the wheel here. It just feels like a drop off from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.


Elephant in the Room: Is this a comedy or a romantic comedy? Other Apatow relationship movies, such as Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Knocked Up, are clearly comedies first. This one isn't. And, it's a traditional RomCom, which I prefer. This movie could easily have gone the direction of The Break Up, but it understood that that would be a mistake. There is a nice, cheesy happy ending and it works best that way. Just know that.

To Sum Things Up:
This is a great date movie, I would guess. I won't be rushing to see it again on DVD or anything, but it was worth my ticket.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Shoe Size

[A short blurb this week. Didn't have time for a new one and my prewritten list is waning]

I don't understand why people make such a big deal about me not knowing what my show size is. First of all, when I go to the bowling alley and have to check my shoe, you would think I just shot a baby or something ("How do you not know your show size!?"). Secondly, what's the point remembering that when you have it on you at all times? I only buy shoes every few months (at most), so why does this need to stay at the forefront of my mind?

The problem is, I did have one time where the size faded off the shoe so I had to guess and I went a little big. I liked the extra space though. It was like a luxury sized shoe.

Best MPAA Ratings of 2006

For all the time I spend on IMDB, I come across a lot of MPAA ratings, some of which are quite funny, or oddly descriptive, or distinctly abstract, or using a word I find funny, or anything in between.
Here are my favorite one's from 2006.

Note: BoxOfficeMojo lists 608 movies in 2006. I'm not checking all of them. I'm sure I missed some. Feel free to let me know (because I know this is inspiring so many of you to start hunting for them^).

Happy Feet - Rated PG for some mild peril and rude humor

Nacho Libre - Rated PG for some rough action, and crude humor including dialogue

Poseiden - Rated PG-13 for intense prolonged sequences of disaster and peril

Date Movie - Rated PG-13 for continuous crude and sexual humor, including language

Glory Road - Rated PG for racial issues including violence and epithets, and momentary language

Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties - Rated PG for some off-color elements

Clerks 2 - Rated R for pervasive sexual and crude content including aberrant sexuality, strong language and some drug material

Past Years:
Best of 2011
Best of 2010
Best of 2009
Best of 2008
Best of 2007

Oh, so apparently this is my hundredth post. That is either a success, showing my commitment or merely a showcase of my verbal diarrhea. Either way, hooray, I think.

Movie Reaction: Bully

Formula: ABC Family original movie - The stuff you make fun of in an ABC Family original movie.

Victoria Justice approves. Do you?

Cast: Can you really call it a cast? The kids and parents they chose to follow were a good mix. Young kids, older kids. Parent, children, administrators. Kids who fought back, kids in the thick of it, kids that gave up There is a fine and effective variety.

Story: Since it's not really a "plot", story will do. This had a very good balance.There were definitely a lot of tough moments. Some of the things the people deal with are heavy, but Bully never gets bogged down in them. It doesn't milk things for effect and it doesn't artificially create any villains, more or less settling on apathy as the biggest problem.

Footage: The thing that most impressed me with this documentary is the footage they got. I don't know if the film crew were so ubiquitous that people forgot about them, but some of the stuff they got with the main kid, Alex, including the waivers they had to get from parents, was strikingly candid. Nothing felt staged which is the biggest risk for a documentary. They guy did play with the focus a little much, but nitpicking.

Elephant in the Room: Is it really that important to see this? There are some people for which this will be an eye opener, sure. I'm not convinced that kids will pick up on the nuance of some of what it has to say, so I think the importance for kids to see it will be overstated by a lot of people. That said, it is the most honest depiction of bullying and the difficulties faced stopping it. It will have far more of an effect on victims of bullying to show they aren't alone than it will on the bullys themselves

To Sum Things Up:
No need to see it in theaters. At least, nothing that I see that is added to by the theater experience. Anyone that is worries it will be too much for a child to watch though needs to loosen up. Nothing here that a kid can't handle. The ratings controversy over this is bullshit and another reason why the MPAA is awful.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

My Issues with Motion Sensors

I hate when motion sensors don't pick up on me. It's so dehumanizing. What gives them the right? Fucking technology. I can deal with people not noticing me. That could be a prank, but machines?

It's especially bad when the person before you has no issue as the sink, but it takes 10-15 seconds for it to notice me. I always have that brief moment of fear that I'm a ghost. Even worse, I could be a ghost and have a backwards sixth sense thing going on. Maybe I died four years ago when I was choking on that ice cube. Were my last words really "Heroes keeps getting better and better. I can't wait to see what they come up with after the writers guild strike is over."

But then, I have a brief moment of joy where I consider that I don't have to come to work if I'm dead. I can eat pizza everyday and stare at all the cleavage I want without worry. But then, the motion sensor picks up on me. I can clean my hands and go back to my same exact daily grind.

And then there's playing a game of chicken with the automatic doors at a store. Happens most often at liquor stores for me. I keep on walking at my normal pace, convinced the door will open, but the old, delayed sensor always wins. And it's for the best when you think about it. Because, to win the game of chicken, you have to run into that door. And, I am reasonably sure they won't let me get booze if I'm running into the door going in.

Who am I kidding? Of course they will.

Best MPAA Ratings of 2007

For all the time I spend on IMDB, I come across a lot of MPAA ratings, some of which are quite funny, or oddly descriptive, or distinctly abstract, or using a word I find funny, or anything in between.
Here are my favorite one's from 2007.

Note: BoxOfficeMojo lists 631 movies in 2007. I'm not checking all of them. I'm sure I missed some. Feel free to let me know (because I know this is inspiring so many of you to start hunting for them^).

Shrek the Third - Rated PG for some crude humor, suggestive content and swashbuckling action*

The Simpsons Movie - Rated PG-13 for irreverent humor throughout

Live Free or Die Hard - Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, language and a brief sexual situation

Enchanted - Rated PG for some scary images and mild innuendo

Bee Movie - Rated PG for mild suggestive humor, and a brief depiction of smoking

Superbad - Rated R for pervasive crude and sexual content, strong language, drinking, some drug use and a fantasy/comic violent image - all involving teens**

Hairspray - Rated PG for language, some suggestive content and momentary teen smoking

Stardust - Rated PG-13 for some fantasy violence and risque humor

Hostel: Part II - Rated R for sadistic scenes of torture and bloody violence, terror, nudity, sexual content, language and some drug content

Dragon Wars - Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and creature action

* Oddly, no Pirates movie ever got this rating.
** This may be my all time favorite rating.

Past Years:
Best of 2011

Best of 2010
Best of 2009
Best of 2008

Movie Reaction: The Cabin in the Woods

(I need to begin by mentioning that since you don't need depth for a reaction, I will be saying nothing here that you couldn't learn from a TV spot or a glance at the IMDB page.)

Formula: Evil Dead + self-awareness

Cast: Everyone here plays their part pretty perfectly. Truth be told, I haven't seen anything most of the cast has been in before, so I can't compare their performance to anything else they've done. Honestly, think of the cast of the Evil Dead without the campiness...unintended campiness, perhaps.

Plot: I'm not even going to attempt this. It balances genres with typical Whedon precision. If there was any justice in the world, the screenplay would be nominated for some awards, and this is coming from someone who is not a Joss Whedon fanboys.

Elephant in the Room: If anything in the movie is spoiled for you, is it still worth seeing? Simply put, yes. This isn't "The Sixth Sense". It is not about the twist, or twists, or odd developmental directions. Personally, I think there's enough nuance to it that it's not really possible to ruin it in a few sentences.

To Sum Things Up:
See it. This has been the best movie I've seen since the awards season ended and it's more accessible than it looks.

Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

Ranting about Being on the Elevator

Since selling my soul and going Corporate (still nobler than being destitute). I've gotten a glimpse into a fascinating world: Elevators. Before starting my job, my experience with the elevator was a novelty: at a hotel on vacation or maybe when I had a class in that tall building on campus or maybe a service elevator if I wanted to mooch off a handicapped friend. But, after having daily interaction in this world, I've made some observations.

First, I love the personality types. Sure, most people are like me: quiet, polite, and giving a half-hearted smile if you accidentally make eye contact. Some people take that too far though. You've seen that guy who looks like he wants to kill everyone on the elevator*. I imagine he was alone on the elevator when he got on. He just wants to go home and play Call of Duty (I work in an IT building), then 3 floors from the bottom, a bunch of chatterboxes get on too lazy to go down the fucking stairs...Ok, some days I'm that guy.

At the other end of the spectrum is that person who seems determined to make a friend by the time she gets off the elevator. I hate that woman. I don't do small talk with my friends, what makes you think I want to talk about "traffic today" with you. "Oh, she doesn't know any better" you say. That's right. She doesn't know, so don't talk to me like she does. At the very least save it for someone on your floor if they are on there.

Another person I love (and by love, I mean hate) is the floor general. You know the guy. While everyone else goes to the back to let people in, he jettisons to the button board and starts taking requests like a fucking DJ. The trick is, the first time I have to repeat myself to have the floor chosen he should lose that job. It's bad enough traffic sucked getting there, I'm running late, and this friendly lady from my floor keeps talking to me about the wreck she heard about on the traffic report. I don't want to miss my floor because some guy in middle management with control issues won't let anyone else get the thrill of seeing the button light up when they press it. Besides, that thing's going to the top floor. I don't know what's on the top floor. It's like the end of the subway or stopping on the 13th floor. I am not ready to see that.

You want to fuck with people on the elevator? When someone gets off, don't reshift where you are standing. Watch as everyone else tries to rebalance where they are standing. The best part is, they are trying to beat the clock because the second those doors close it is like playing freeze tag. But really, don't do that. I can't stand an unbalanced elevator and I hate standing near people enough already.

Here's the thing. I'm only on the elevator for maybe a minute at most, but it is either the last minute before I have to go and work for the day or the first minute I have not working. Both of these count as "me time", so save your "clever" quip, let me listen to my iPod in peace, and for fuck's sake, don't get in the elevator to go down one floor.

TV Show Reaction: Don't Trust the Bitch in Apartment 23

Ok. This is me admitting that this blog that started off with lofty expectations (seriously, you don't call something Eclectic Boredom without a certain amount of pretentiousness) is really just "What did Alex watch this week". I average about 5 hits a day. That mean Mike* and 4 Russians, so what the fuck do I care.

* Thanks Mike.

I just watch the premiere of "The Bitch in Apt. 23" tonight. By the way, that show is just "The Bitch" from now on because that title is more demanding than HIMYM**. The only thing I can say without question is that the pilot tried too hard. Beyond that, we will see how it evolves over time. Then again, it premiered in April, so fuck it.

** If you don't know what that is, you must be one of my Russians.***

*** It turns out, they have How I Met Your Mother there too, so even the Russians don't have an excuse.

Cast: I like Krysten Ritter. I'm not sure why. I also enjoy a celebrity making fun of himself (You can thank NPH is Harold and Kumar for that). So, James Van Der Beek is a win as a character in my book. I even like the crazy neighbor. No, not the masturbating one. The one from Crazy, Stupid Love (Liza Lapira, I had to look it up). For sheer cast potential and replacement for Happy Endings timeslot, I'm probably in for the season with this one.

Plot: God I hope the plots are more polished after this one. I really believe this pilot was shopped around to a cable channel before landing with ABC. It so badly wants to be raunchy, but the fact that even the title is scared to ruffle any feathers makes me worried about the precarious balance of the entire series between inappropriate and network TV ready.
I'll put it this way. The pilot played like the better rated show in an hour comedy block with Whitney. Take that as you will.

Soundtrack: Some shows forgo the soundtrack (Parks and Rec, The Office). Others use it in Lieu of a laugh track (30 Rock). Others use it so often that it feels like it's trying to force you to laugh (The Bitch). Maybe I'm the only one who feels that way about the pilot, but I have to say, I'm hoping that the sound track cools it in future episodes.

Will I Watch it Again:
Yeah. The DVR is already set. This show gives me every indication that I will be tired of it by season 2. There was enough that worked for me to keep watching.

Oh yeah, Elephant in the Room:
Why is this show premiering in April. Shouldn't that be a good indicator that this is a burn off show? Historically, yes, but if this leads to a push for more shorter run network TV seasons, I might be for it. As for this specifically, I think this says more about how certain ABC was that other shows would be cancelled by now.

Best MPAA Ratings of 2008

For all the time I spend on IMDB, I come across a lot of MPAA ratings, some of which are quite funny, or oddly descriptive, or distinctly abstract, or using a word I find funny, or anything in between.
Here are my favorite one's from 2008.

Note: BoxOfficeMojo lists 608 movies in 2008. I'm not checking all of them. I probably checked more ratings this year than any other year. It's a sort of lame duck year.

The Dark Knight - Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and some menace

The Spiderwick Chronicles - Rated PG for scary creature action and violence, peril and some thematic elements

Saw V - Rated R for sequences of grisly bloody violence and torture, language and brief nudity

Drillbit Taylor - Rated PG-13 for crude sexual references throughout, strong bullying, language, drug references and partial nudity

Definitely, Maybe - Rated PG-13 for sexual content, including some frank dialogue, language and smoking

The Spirit - Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of stylized violence and action, some sexual content and brief nudity



Past Years:
Best of 2011

Best of 2010
Best of 2009