Delayed Reaction: Dances with Wolves

The Pitch: Kevin Costner becomes a Native American. Think, The Last Samurai but in America and made a dozen years earlier.

What Took Me So Long: I was intimidated by the movies' length.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) It's an Oscar winner and has one of those titles that is so pretentious that you have to see what it's about. This is one of those weird out-of-nowhere movies. Before this, Kevin Costner was that actor who made all those baseball movies. I'd say it's like George Clooney showing up with Good Night, and Good Luck except Clooney had at least done Confessions of a Dangerous Mind first, Costner was much younger, and Wolves got way more critical adoration. The movie is fairly immersive. By the time it ends there is an attachment to all the main characters. It looks great for a period piece.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It's just so damn long. Most of the length was there to show us what Native American life was like, which is interesting, but they may have overdone it. There were no emotional beats that were heightened sufficiently to justify the amount of time spent on any character or relationship. I don't want to say that an hour could've been cut out for mostly the same affect. It does feel like it though.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Camp

The Pitch: You know, it's been too long since Fame was on.

What Took Me So Long: The only thing that had me considering it is the need to see anything I can with Anna Kendrick.

Why I Saw It: Did I mention Anna Kendrick? Other than that, there were no redeeming qualities to this movie.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This is one of those cases when I can't figure out who the intended audience is. The plot screams "Disney Channel movie" (think Camp Rock. In fact, think exactly that) but the language and discussion of sex is intended for someone older. Then there's the singing, which isn't bad, but it is annoying, I mean, it's not great (except Kendrick, of course, who nails her one song. Side rant: How do you only give her ONE song?). There's something fascinating about watching a movie in which this is the only IMDB credit for most of the cast. It's like a train wreck and you can't look away. Beyond Kendrick, it is quickly apparent why no one else broke out after this movie, and Kendrick still took a few years to get going again. If you rate every episode of Glee a 10 out of 10, you might enjoy this...maybe.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Atlantis: The Lost Empire

The Pitch: Let's find a sciency way to tell a kid's movie about Atlantis.

What Took Me So Long: I didn't think this was in the Disney catalog, so that halved my limited interest immediately.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I eventually realized it is a Disney movie. It's fun to compare the Disney Renaissance movies with the ones like Lilo & Stitch, The Emporer's New Groove, and this to figure out what went wrong. Because, this is not a bad movie. It's not all that different from, say a Pocahontas. The voice cast is top notch and it looks good. I think Joss Whedon is in the army of writers for this (hint: whenever "army" is used to describe writers of a screenplay, that's immediately a bad sign).

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Alas, it is missing that "je ne sais quas" of Disney at its best. There's a magic or alchemy to it all and it wasn't there this time. The payoff for the mystery of Atlantis isn't all that great, but more importantly, the core story that's there when you strip away all the crazy characters and mythology isn't all that interesting. I'm not even sure if it was about friendship or having faith [in yourself].

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

DVR Purge: 11/21-11/24

 Past Purges

The Big Bang Theory "The Thanksgiving Decoupling"
Look, I get that comparing his situation to slavery is completely within Sheldon's character and I did get a couple chuckles from it, but I've never been more certain that he is the antagonist of this show.

Parks and Rec. "Fluoride"
I'm not sure how I feel about Craig. They need to tone him down...all the way. I can see some long term potential for him, but not in his current form. I don't worry about the show's ability to do that though. He has long term potential due to the openings left by Ann and Chris leaving. Has Ann already left though? Was she in either episode? I knew Rashida Jones is leaving. I didn't realize there'd be a cutoff in appearances. Maybe I've not been paying attention. Did Leslie have to leave her job with the Parks dept. to become a council woman? She keeps talking about being unemployed. How did I miss that?

Parks and Rec. "The Cones of Dunshire"
1. Ben is King of the Nerds
2. Jamm has some kickass clothes.
3. Can Ron just go ahead and legally adopt April?

The Crazy Ones "Sixteen-Inch Softball"
This show likes it's montages. It continues to be perfectly amiable and traditional in all ways except the lack of laugh-track. I knew the only way the game would end would be with Simon getting drugged back up. I'm a little confused about why they let him play if they knew he was on sedatives. It made for a fun fantasy sequence though. I think the Simon/Zach relationship continues to be the best part of the show.

The Michael J Fox Show "Thanksgiving"
Holy shit, I haven't seen Charles Grodin since Beethoven. He's certainly aged. Is he really 70? The genuine moment between Mike and him at the end took me by surprise. The real guest-Star though was Candice Bergen. I really believe she could tear down Annie that quickly. It helps that she's been playing characters like this almost exclusively since Murphy Brown ended. Was that the first Harris and Eve story the show has done? That should happen more often. She interns for the station, right?

Parenthood "Election Day"
Hallelujah! The election is over and I couldn't be happier about it (and that she lost). There's plenty of other stories worth exploring and this has been eating up time. Crosby's story was light enough to counterbalance everything else going on although I'm confused why he would lie so much about voting. It's not like he was ever shown to be responsibly before reuniting with Jasmine. Actually, Max's story was pretty light too. It dealt with some of the difficulties he faces without making a big fuss of it. Really, the darkness is all with Amber and Ryan and Julia and Joel. Ryan's anger and jealously finally exploding was written in the wall from the moment we met him and it was only a matter of when and how. This is about as good as any way. Since Matt Lauria hasn't been signed on as a regular [yet], I'm assuming this will not end well from here. I find myself wanting to side with Joel in his marital strife because it is really unfair for Julia to be doing this after he stayed at home quietly for years. He is responding to all of this unreasonably poorly. He's never been a character who is this dense. If anything, he's the more perceptive of the two. There issues seem to be as much manufactured for plot as it is motivated by decisions that fit the characters. Again, thank god Kristina lost!

Saturday Night Live "Josh Hucherson/HAIM"
That had to be the least host intensive monologue I've seen in a long time. I'm not sure if Hucherson didn't have as much time to prep or if the writers had so little material. I've seen musical guests with more heavy lifting in an episode than him, which is surprising, because it's not like he was bad. The "Your Love" sketch was fantastic and his lip sync-ing sold it. You know who was busy this episode: Cicely Strong. Damn. I haven't seen that much usage since Kristen Wiig was on. This isn't a complaint, mind you. She is one of my two or three favorites in the cast right now and I was originally worried she would disappear outside of the Weekend Update desk.

The Walking Dead "Dead Weight"
Too much Governor. We have now officially been away from the prison for too long. For all the character rehab they did last week, he's back to being the same "Ends justify the means" despot that he was before. I sure hope whatever they have planned for him is something other than picking up exactly where we left off at the end of season 3. And, did I miss how he also magically found the prison too? In a zombia apocalypse, this sure is a small world. I guess that's what I expect from the show though. At least I have no worries about how well the action will be staged in next week's episode. They rarely disappoint with that.

Movie Reaction: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Formula: (The Hunger Games) ^ 2

Why I Saw It: Guaranteed $150 Million opening, non-3D, Jennifer Lawrence. Try and stop me.

Cast: Isn't Jennifer Lawrence great? Fresh off an Oscar win she's bringing those talents to her return to franchise fare. It's hard to say how good the material for Katniss is on the page because J-Law nails it regardless. Josh Hucherson is better than I remember him being in the first movie. He's more of his own character. Woody Harrelson (Haymitch) seemed more engaged this time and Elizabeth Banks (Effie) proved to be a much deeper character than I expected after coming off as little more than a cartoon in the first. As for new faces, Sam Claflin (Finnick) has the demeanor and look of a former Hunger Games victor. He still has a generic white guy look, which is why I don't remember him from anything he's been in. I'm so happy to see Jena Malone show up in this. I don't recall ever disliking her in something although I didn't find her character to be fully realized here. Philip Seymour Hoffman gets good use out of his few scenes. I assume he'll have more to do in future movie(s). There's others I'm forgetting. For a 2.5 hour movie, this was still overstuffed with cast.

Plot: Half the movie is about something I couldn't be less interested in. We did the Hunger Games thing in the first movie. It was a good hook for the first movie. It sets up the world effectively and allows for a self contained story. You couldn't ask for a better setup to a franchise. That's been done. There's a lot about the world, the rebellion that I care about. Doing another Hunger Games is a boring way to go and an example of why most people have issues with sequels: redoing the first movie but bigger is not interesting. That said, they nail everything happening outside the games. The beginning of the movie does a great job showing the unrest and fallout from Katniss' actions in her first games. The Hunger Games part was very well done. Had it been the first time we saw this, I'd fully enjoy it, no caveats. I'm not sure how much of the end I should talk about but let's say I was very pleased with everything it revealed about the games and the Volunteers from the districts.

Elephant in the Room: It sounds like your problems are with the book, not the movie. Absolutely. I should've started with that. I don't know all the details of the book vs. movie but as far as I can tell, the movie took mediocre lemons and made delicious lemonade. Had the second book been about something other than another Hunger Games and been just as good then I wouldn't worry about the third book/movie. Instead, all the second book/movie has proven is that they can tell a really good story about a battle royale. I'm a little worried about where it goes from here.

To Sum Things Up:
I feel better about this movie than I do about the series going forward. Ignoring the franchise and focusing on the movie, this was a very good blockbuster movie. It is edge of your seat exciting, filled with a variety of characters and better than expected performances. It's redundant at this point to say it but Jennifer Lawrence is as strong a lead as you are going to find. It looks like this is going to have the 4th highest opening of all time, so most of this is pointless because you've already seen it, but I could not be more pleased with this as a second movie for the franchise. 

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Sleeping with the Enemy

The Pitch: It's like a Lifetime movie on the big screen.

What Took Me So Long: I've never shared America's love affair with Julia Roberts. She's fine. Hardly a draw for me.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) A good psychological thriller is worth the hunt, so I am ready to sift through the lesser ones to reach a good one. I liked how much time this spent at the beginning to show Laura's life before fleeing. Most movies would opt to use a series of flashbacks (think Safe Haven), but I think that knowing the threat early made it tenser overall. It was surprisingly quiet in terms of dialog as well.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Again, here is a case where I'm not sure if this was the movie that started a trend or another example of a common plot, because I've seen a more interesting version of this story on SVU. If this is the first of its kind, then bravo, this is a great story structure. If it is another derivative version, then eh, I've seen better. Also, why does the evil husband have to be OCD? On more than one occasion I find myself siding with him. He just wants some god damn order in the house.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Harlem Nights

The Pitch: Eddie Murphy and Richard Pryor is an R-rated - what's that? You don't need to know the rest. You'll make it?

What Took Me So Long: With a cast like that, I don't know how I missed it for so long.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) ...And then I watched it. To date, this is the only time Eddie Murphy has directed a movie and it looks like a lot of people were willing to take part in it. Personally, I was most excited to see Murphy and Pryor together. Both have a rough batting average in theaters (To be fair, at the time, Murphy didn't) so it is a volatile pairing.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This wasn't particularly funny. It was written by, directed by, and starring Murphy so we can squarely place the blame here. That said, looking at reviews of it, I wouldn't rate it as hyperbolicly bad as others did. It was merely underwhelming.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Saw

The Pitch: Clever torture with some sort of plot around it.

What Took Me So Long: I don't handle super violent movies will and this is the poster child for them.

Why I Saw It: I want to get better at handling violence in movies and the only way to do that is to watch. Also, with most horror movies that yield numerous sequels, the first generally does something special. The twists in this movie are terribly clever. Even the ones that should've been obvious (anytime you cast Michael Emerson, be suspicious) got me. I was thankful that the movie followed what was going on outside the room too. I always had the impression that it was one of those small horror movies that takes place in small confines which is tough to pull off.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: The violence wasn't nearly as bad as I expected. Still not for the squeamish though. A couple beats do play as horror movie tropes, so it wasn't perfect. I can already see how the next installments in the series will probably drop the ball. Eventually, I'll see if I'm right.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

DVR Purge: 11/19-11/20

Look at this. I've got one of these up after only two days. Perhaps I've finally balanced the very few things I have going on in my life and have found consistency? That's sounds really unlike me though. I'm labeling this as a fluke until given reason to think otherwise.

Past Purges

SHIELD "The Well"
So, I assume they told Simmons to sound as much like Cate Blanchett at the beginning of a Tolkien Movie as possible for that opening? It worked well as the setup for them having to cleanup after Thor and company. I'm glad someone finally decided to acknowledge that the buildings just don't rebuild/clean themselves. As someone completely uninitiated with the comics, I appreciate the additional explanation of the Asgardians. We get some nice character background for Ward, although it still doesn't make his performance interesting. He's trying though. May is still a mystery but Ming-Na Wen (still can't believe she's 50) plays her well.
-It definitely seems like the writers have a better grasp on how to use Fitz and Simmons now than Ward and Skye. I especially enjoyed Ward "tricking" Simmons to climb up the tree.
-Peter MacNicol kind of looks like a grownup Iain De Caestecker (Fitz), or is that just me?
-I imagine that casting for all the villains must've been a fun day. Basically everyone's instruction was "again, by more intense".
-"And if Thor's in town, I'll introduce you." Nice dig Coulson.
-Has Coulson gone an episode yet without mentioning that he died? Let it go!

Brooklyn Nine Nine "Sal's Pizza"
This has solidified itself as my favorite new show of the fall. That has as much to do with it's quality as the shortcomings of everything else. I like the foodie aspect of Boyle's character. It is right in Joe Lo Truglio's wheelhouse. I love when Capt. Holt mentions his newsletter. It was a great use of Andre Braugher's deadpan. I don't think anyone was fooled by Linetti's behavior interviewing for the IT job. It's still a nice reminder that she knows what she's doing. I'd be ok if they toned down Santiago's uptight thing. That's getting old. So, Scully is Jerry Gergich, right?

New Girl "Longest Night Ever"
It's nice to have Cece back in an episode for more than a cameo. I'm already tired of her and Coach though. I think, in general, I'm a bigger fan of the show when no one in the main cast is dating, except for maybe Schmidt and Cece because jealous Schmidt is exhausting and there's no such thing as "just friends" Schmidt when it comes to her. I'm starting to think the show just needs to embrace that Winston is in his own show and let his go insane doing it. All the stories that have stuck with me the most for him (the job at the radio station, reserving the table, searching for a con**m) he is by himself. I think if the writers just embrace it, he can reach a whole new level of insane. This week was close to that. Nick was nice for the reactions but he was basically a non-factor.

The Mindy Project "Mindy Lahiri is a Racist"
This was certainly the laugh out loud funniest episode I can think of. The midwives are in full villain mode, and the ways Schulman & Associates handle it are all hilarious. People pointing out all of Mindy's casual racism is a nice twist, given that she is the only of the doctors of color. All the things about the midwives that set Danny off are hilarious, like getting angry they don't know Yankee players. Jeremy turning on his own practice, especially after it was revealed he's from South Africa was great. I didn't see it coming at all when Peter realizes he was thinking about a different guy when he almost meets the politician. I'm going to have to start a spreadsheet off all the guest stars on this show. This week, we add Jenna Elfman and Missi Pyle to it. The past two weeks have me really excited that they may have finally figured this show out.
Oh, I almost forgot. The opening tag had me laughing all the way through the opening credits. I pretty much knew how it would play out but that didn't stop me from finding it hilarious.

I don't know where I'm supposed to mention this, but for anyone who watched the ABC Wednesday shows on TV, those crossover Target commercials with Sue, Danny, and the dog from Modern Family were delightful. I'd like more shows to have these. I don't care if it is kind of lame.

The Middle "Thanksgiving V"
Favorite Line: "You know, this is the kind of thing you might want to share with a blood relative." -Mike
You can always rely on a good holiday episode from The Middle. The fact that they number each holiday episode goes to show how often they do them. Probably more often than any show I can think of. I always welcome more Jack McBrayer on my TV, so that was nice. I don't really remember the sister-in-law at all. She was a little over the top but I like being reminded that the Hecks are virtually the normal ones in their family. I like the apathetic reverse psychology that Mike uses on Axl, although I'm still confused how he can keep his scholarship if he isn't a full-time student. I'm sure they'll address that in some way. As sad as it makes me to see the family continuing to shit on Brick, I'll like that he took things into his own hands and made that disgusting casserole.

Back in the Game "Color Barrier"
Money is tricky. Even in TV shows, seeing a story about the disparity between friends makes me uncomfortable. It is handled about as well as it could be this week and I love the way that Terry and Gigi make up. I find myself less annoyed by the stories with Danny and the team than I expected. I didn't see the end scene with Dick and David coming at all. The show has done well by Dick so far. His douchiness was dialed all the way down and we get a nice, personal scene between him and his son.

Modern Family "ClosetCon '13"
Fantastic Apollo 13 spoof. I've must get that out of the way now. Occasionally Modern Family works too hard to setup a joke and the end result is muted because we can see too many of the strings at work (Ex. "We love the F word"). In this case it all comes together fairly perfectly from Phil's dad having to help via Internet because he doesn't live there and Gloria, Alex, and Haley watching from the security system computers. Jay has a known love for models and toys like this. Wonderfully done. I wasn't wild about Claire and Jay at the conventional, but it was more filler than detriment and setup for a great tag at the end about Phil's phobias. Cam and Mitchell were more of a mixed bag. I've always found Farm Cam to be overbearing but for some reason city vs. farm bickering is about the only type that I like between Cam and Mitchell. Lily continues her covert MVP ways as well by adapting to farm ways quickly. Overall, definitely a case of one story more than making up for the deficiencies of the others.

Delayed Reaction: Rush Hour 2

The Pitch: Same movie, but this time, in China.

What Took Me So Long: I hadn't seen the first Rush Hour. You'd have to consult past-Alex on why I didn't see that though.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) The first movie was pretty good for what it is, so it didn't take a lot of persuading to get me to continue the series. I find it funny how formulaic this was in reversing the fish out of water aspect of the first movie. You know what though, it worked as well as it needed to. There' always a cheap laugh to be had from a joke about how tall Asian's are or how stupid Americans don't understand Asian culture.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Yeah, the low hanging fruit jokes can get old pretty fast. Thankfully, Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan's chemistry can always keep this going.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend