Delayed Reaction: Edge of Tomorrow

The Pitch: It'll be like an action movie Groundhog Day.

How I Came Into It: More than any movie this year, people who saw it in theaters kept reporting back to me that I needed to see this. I still don't know why I didn't.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Tom Cruise is a god damn movie star and I'm not sure how many of them we have left anymore. The premise is fun and the execution is impeccable. As if I didn't already have a big enough crush on Emily Blunt, she matches Cruise entirely and pulls off being kind of a badass more than I'd've guessed based on her previous work. Again, 'fun' is the best word I can come up with for this video game shot as a movie.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Your head does start to explode when you start to calculate how many times Cruise lives through the same day. I'm pretty sure a person would be driven to complete madness after that many times.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: White House Down

The Pitch: How else can Roland Emmerich (Independence Day) destroy the White House?

What Took Me So Long: I needed to get Olympus Has Fallen out of my system before going after this one.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This is the kind of movie in which most of the issues are with setting up the story. It was sold as a movie about the President shooting his way out of the White House against terrorists, and in that respect, it was good. The action is over the top. All sorts of tension-cutting jokes. Channing Tatum and Jaime Foxx are believable leads in this context. Emmerich has some nasty misfires out there like 10,000 BC and 2012 to go along with excellent successes like Independence Day and The Patriot. White House Down falls comfortably in the middle.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: "Comfortably in the middle" means "well short of greatness". Just being the better of the two White House takeover movies from 2013 doesn't mean it is without many blemishes. As I alluded to earlier, the many contrivances to setup the premise require too much staging. Then there's the moments that are complete gambles. Little Joey King waving the American flag to stop the bomb strike. That's either going to be a great moment (think, Mel Gibson waving the flag to stop the retreat in The Patriot) or the stupidest thing you've ever seen. Guess where it landed with me. Ultimately, I think the thing that hurt it the most was the need to keep adding twists. Did it really need the Secret Service chief looking for revenge or the Speaker of the House arranging to become president? I'd almost rather have it be terrorists for the sake of having terrorists.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Video Games: The Movie

The Pitch: Let's make a propaganda piece in favor of video games.

How I Came Into It: I assumed this was a documentary about video games and I was curious what the angle was (pure history lesson, focusing on the advances in the technology, the community aspects, etc.).

Why I Saw It: This manages to cover a pretty wide spectrum of topics related to video games. It goes through a linear timeline of the consoles, looks into the rise of PC gaming, evangelizes about the communal nature of games, of course detours into defending the violent part of games. As a survey of video games as a whole, this does a great job.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I'm fairly familiar with video games as it is, so not a lot of this was new to me. I'd've liked something that went into more detail about one thing than broadly reviewing many. That's not the movie they sought to make though and is sometimes the danger of making documentaries.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Snowpiercer

The Pitch: Ok, imagine society as a train where each car is another economic level...

How I Came Into It: It has a very distinctive look and for months it's been one of the movies that keeps getting referenced by critics without ever getting an actual assessment.

Why I Saw It: If this is what Captain America wants to do with his free time, that's cool with me. This is a fresh bit of Sci Fi and a different twist on the increasingly rote dystopia formula. I love that it's littered with Oscar winners (Octavia Spencer, Tilda Swinton) and nominees (John Hurt, Ed Harris) and it looks pretty good for what I have to assume wasn't a huge budget.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It has no room for subtlety, that's for sure. If I wasn't already really tired of stories about the rich holding down the poor, I'd be able to focus on more than that aspect of it. I think the whole third act (pardon the pun) went off the rails too. I think back to something like The Matix Reloaded and realize that you know what, maybe these movies work better if there isn't some big soliloquy trying to explain everything. Perhaps keeping us in the dark a bit is more interesting.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Grand Budapest Hotel

The Pitch: Wes Anderson makes a comedy about a man framed for murder in a fake European country.

How I Came Into It: People lose their shit over Wes Anderson and this is his next "best thing he's ever made".

Why I Saw It: No working director is more visually distinctive than Wes anderson. He's inarguably a director who is great at what he's doing. This is a great cast too. Ralph Fiennes is stupendous. Tony Revolori is as good a newcomer as I've seen in a while (granted, he's been working for a decade). The writing is solid too. When watching this movie, I struggled to find a single thing wrong with it.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: But I didn't really like it. The Wes Anderson aesthetic turns me off entirely. The balance of the shots. The specific use of uncommon words. The delivery of the humor. It's all lost on me. One day, I may need to watch some of his movies with someone who is a fan to get what I'm missing. Until then, I simply can't root for a movie that I don't get.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: The Interview

Formula: (Dr. Strangelove * Inglourious Basterds) / Pineapple Express

Why I Saw It: Oh, come on. How am I not going to see this after all the shit that's gone down with it?

Cast: It's the Seth Rogen and James Franco show. Rogen is (and I say this with love) exactly as you'd expect him to be in this. Franco is only ever this loose when he's with Rogen and I wonder why that is. Lizzy Caplan has the playfulness of someone who is doing this because she's friends with the people making it. I've only seen Randall Park in Veep before this, but he plays a great Kim Jong-Un, as a character. I dare not estimate the accuracy, but I assume it's low. Diana Bang is almost a complete newcomer but I hope to see her in many comedies in the future.

Plot: Dave Skylark (Franco) is a popular entertainment personality who's producer, Aaron Rapoport (Rogen), wants to move into more substantial work. This leads to landing an interview with Kim Jong-Un. Naturally, the CIA convinces them to covertly assassinate Un. They go to North Korea and hilarity ensues. My biggest concern going in was that the joke would be pitch (Talk show host kills Kim Jong Un) and not the execution, but that wasn't the case. This is loaded with jokes, which I should've expected, given who made it*. By the end, this reaches a near live action cartoon level that something like Pineapple Express also had.

*Sidenote: If This is the End was their dick humor movie, this is their butt humor one.

Elephant in the Room: North Korea. Where to begin? The Interview has secured its place in movie lore. In a decade, I wouldn't be surprised if this is still the most talked about movie from 2014. That's kind of impressive for a little stoner comedy. North Korea has every right to be offended by this movie. It's basically Inglourious Basterds if it were made in 1940. The thing is, it's not like Un is seen as a misunderstood guy. I'm pretty sure that North Korea is the only country on the "Kim Jong-Un is  a good leader" bandwagon. It might be crass to make light of everything going on in that country, but I'm in the camp of "whatever it takes to open up a dialogue". Now, if this really does start World War III, then it's not worth it. Let's see how things play out.

To Sum Things Up:
I am the biggest and blindest Seth Rogen/Evan Goldberg fanboy I know. I just want to make that clear, because if this is a stinker, then I won't know it. I loved this movie and I'm having a hard time keeping it out of my top ten for the year. Controversy aside, it is a flat out funny movie. Now it has a weird cultural significance too. The only disappointment about the movie is that the conversation is about the controversy, not the comedy.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: Unbroken

Formula: Life of Pi + Life is Beautiful

Why I Saw It: I just had to know if the long time sight-unseen Oscar front runner was legit.

Cast: Jack O'Connell makes his debut to most of the world here (I know I don't remember him in the 300 sequel). He's the one constant throughout. There's a number of familiar faces like Domhnall Gleeson, Garrett Hedlund, and Jai Courtney who pass through. J-Pop star Takamasa Ishihara is getting a lot of praise for his work as a guard at the POW camp O'Connell's character ends up at. He's solid, although I wouldn't say he's spectacular. No, it's all up to O'Connell to make this movie work and he does so stoically (in a good way).

Plot: This is almost like watching The Book of Job adapted as a WWII drama. Louis Zamperini is an American Olympic athelete in WWII who gets stranded at sea for over a month, then survives a Japanese POW camp for a long time after that. It's very easy to see how someone could hear about this true story and immediately think, "This needs to be a movie". I'm not so convinced. At times, this is the Oscar equivalent of "torture porn". It's great that Zamperini survives all this, but I struggle to find the point of following all the hardship. The movie wallows in it. The climactic scene (the one from all the posters) struck me less as a big emotional moment and more as "shit, we need an ending".

Elephant in the Room: How was Angelina Jolie's direction? First of all, she surrounded herself with as much talent behind the camera as humanly possible (seriously, look at the credits and count the nominations). She did everything she could to make sure that her inexperience didn't hurt the movie. I don't have a great eye for direction, so I could be wrong about this, but I'm not sure that even the most accomplished director could fix the problems I did have with the movie. This looks good. The acting is fine. It's well edited. If were are looking at a director as a general manager for a sports team, then I'd call this a success on her part.

To Sum Things Up:
Unbroken is supposed to be a film about the triumph of the human spirit. It's supposed to be an award winning crowd pleaser and O'Connell is supposed to be a revelation. I have to say that I didn't come away with any of that. O'Connell is very talented and great in this, but most of what he's asked to do is look miserable and maybe shed a tear. All the crap that Zamperini has to go through beat me down more than it inspired me. Maybe it is a problem with the direction that I didn't want to jump out of my seat and cheer at the end. I mean, if How to Train Your Dragon 2 can do it, the prestige movie with the combined forces of some of Hollywood's most talented people should be able to as well. I'll probably be much softer on this with a second viewing. This was a bit of a let down for me. Perhaps others will find more meaning in the drudgery. 

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Dead Man Walking

The Pitch: Susan wants an Oscar! How about this? Death row. She's a nunn. She's counseling a guy who is about to be killed. That's gotta be a lock.

What Took Me So Long: Sean Penn is a great actor, but I'm happy avoiding his movies if I can.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I'm always curious to see the Oscar winning performances of non-Oscar winning movies, especially in the invisible purple unicorn that is this Dead Man Walking, with lead actor, lead actress, and director nominations, without a best picture nomination. That's weird, but it tells exactly what you are getting: two great performances and direction that allows them the freedom needed. The story is simple and it works. It focuses on a very specific part of the execution process that isn't normally covered and doesn't try to expand the story beyond that. You're never meant to think that Penn's character is going to get that appeal and it's not surprising that he is more guilty than he initially claims.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This was such a surprise that I'm having trouble picking qualms with it. Having Penn's character be an Aryan is a little easy. I've seen that shade enough times. Maybe it was a bit long. I'm just glad that Saradon really earned that Oscar win.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Happy Christmas

The Pitch: It's a mumblecore Christmas.

How I Came Into It: I liked Drinking Buddies last year and heard that the same guy made this, gave Anna Kendrick a bigger role, and added Lena Dunham.

Why I Saw It: This is a small movie and doesn't force any unneeded drama. Kendrick's character is a screw up, but she's not torpedoing anyone's life completely. Joe Swanberg and Melanie Lynskey's characters argue some, but actually have a functional and happy marriage. This all feels very authentic. If I'm going to mention Lynskey, yay for being able to keep her real accent. What sealed it for me was the post credits scene with Lynskey, Kendrick, and Dunham that can only be described as 'fun'.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I'm always reminded by movies like this of my cousin's description of indie movies*, that it's like watching a short story, not a novel. You end up having to make a lot more out of a lot less in terms of the plotting. As short as the movie is, it could've been even shorter. At some point, if there's that much fat to be trimmed, is there still enough for a meal? Don't get me wrong. I quite enjoyed this, the performances, the improvising of the dialogue. It's all worth seeing.

*Oddly enough, this came about when discussing Joe Swanberg's last movie, Drinking Buddies.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: The Imitation Game

Formula: (A Beautiful Mind * World War II) / Brokeback Mountain

Why I Saw It: I can't find a reason to not like Benedict Cumberbatch and this is definitely going to be an awards player (which I try to see before the Oscars anyway).

Cast: Benedict Cumberbatch plays Alan Turning, a genius who has trouble interacting with other people. Sound familiar? It is quite a different performance from Sherlock though. The comparison is only there to show how well he does with this sort of role. It's a very strong performance. There's Kiera Knightley too and she's as good as I've ever seen her. Charles Dance plays an entertaining foil and Mark Strong is an MI6 agent overseeing Turing's work. There's a group of others working with Turing, lead by Matthew Goode's character who are all solid. This isn't an ensemble though. It's the Alan Turning story and Cumberbatch is fully able to carry that workload.

Plot: It's told in three time periods: Alan's childhood, during WWII, and after the war. Alan's childhood tracks his friendship with a boy at his boarding school. After the war follows a police investigation into what Alan is hiding. The bulk of the movie is during the war though. Alan shows up to a military facility to get assigned to a project solving a puzzle: the German Enigma machine, which the Germans use to code all their messages. He takes over and reassembles a team and builds a machine to decode Enigma. You can Wikipedia how that goes if you want. It's one of those movies in which years of work is condensed down to two hours, so there's epiphanies and dramatic moments all over that may have not played out that way really, but it's all to service the story.

Elephant in the Room: What was Alan hiding? Turing was homosexual in an age when that was illegal and barbarically treated in England. As much as the movie is about Turing's significant contributions to the development of modern computers it's also about how it didn't matter to the laws of the days. It's a pretty tragic that one of the great minds of the 20th century got persecuted as he did.

To Sum Things Up: 
This is Oscar bait in the best meaning of the phrase. It's a World War II underdog story about a man who is different from others. It has high highs and low lows. Cumberbatch and Kinghtley are deserving of any accolades they get and, even though the script is a little emotionally manipulative at times, I don't care, because it worked too well enough of the time. 

Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Knights of Badassdom

The Pitch: What if LARPing became real?

How I Came Into It: This was a movie that was in production hell both in post-production and distribution. That alone intrigued be, because I'm reminded of Cabin in the Woods, which was simply too weird to know what to do with.

Why I Saw It: I'm curious if they actually went to a LARPing event and asked the people there who they'd like in the movie because I imagine Summer Glau, Peter Dinklage, and Danny Pudi would top those lists. Look, it's incredibly easy to make LARPing sound ridiculous, so even though the movie speaks in defense of it, it leans into all the jokes and responds with a defiant "yeah, and?". Just look at the title. It's designed for a specific niche (heavy metal LARPers who love violence: A pretty circular Venn diagram) and does everything it can to please them.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This reminded me a lot of Raturepalooza. It's an indie comedy that I didn't really laugh at and felt to much like a side project or tryout for another job. I love the indie spirit of it, but it felt like everyone was there because they didn't have any plans for a couple weekends...although I'd rather watch something like this because it's fun and the filmmaker found a way to make it work than something lifeless that got churned out because of too much studio involvement.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Weekly Basketball Picks: 12/27-1/2

Not a great week for me, but a telling one for basketball. Kentucky and Virginia showed us how great their defenses are. Arizona finally didn't pull out a close one. UNC and VCU got redeeming victories.

Record: 6-4 (Overall: 50-15)
Kentucky over UCLA - I thought Kentucky would be them, not embarrass them.
Villanova over Syracuse - I'm surprised this had to go to overtime.
Ohio St. over UNC - It looks like the Tar Heels finally woke up.
Utah over UNLV - The Rebels whiffed on their first chance to make some noise.
Oklahoma over Washington - Am I just being stubborn to say that I still don't think Washington is legit?
Indiana over Butler - As I thought, the Hoosiers matched up well with the Bulldogs.
VCU over Cincinnati - The Rams ate the Bearcats up.
Virginia over Harvard - They even outdid Kentucky on Saturday, which is saying something.
Oklahoma St. over Maryland - I guess it's time for me to start believing in Maryland.
Arizona over UNLV - Give me this. I called that this was a week for paying attention to UNLV.



Kentucky at Louisville (Saturday)
Such a big game. I'll be rooting for Kentucky and frankly, they are the rightful favorite. I'm not bold enough to pick Louisville to win, even as the home team.
Winner: Kentucky

Gonzaga at BYU (Saturday)
Some people have Gonzaga losing in a tough environment. They are my pick as the fourth #1 seed (the others: Kentucky, Duke, and Wisconsin). Doing that pretty much means running the field from here. And, guess what? They're much better than BYU.
Winner: Gonzaga

Georgetown v. Indiana (Saturday)
I have to pick my Hoosiers. As long as they have an answer for Joshua Smith, I believe they really can win.
Winner: Indiana

Georgia St. at Green Bay (Saturday)
The rare non-conference rematch. I like the fearsome Georgia St. back court of Ryan Harrow, R.J. Hunter, and Kevin Ware to win again, in a much closer game
Winner: Georgia St.

FGCU at Xavier (Sunday)
Remember FGCU? The 15 seed that got to the Sweet 16 a couple of years ago. Well, they still have a lot of those same players and some pretty good new ones. I'm betting on Trevon Blueitt and the Musketeers though.
Winner: Xavier 

Maryland at Michigan St. (Tuesday)
Oh, Big Ten. Such a disappointment. Maryland has been surprisingly good so far this season but Michigan St. is going to get better as the season continues, like all Tom Izzo teams. Are the Spartans ready to step up yet? Sure, why not? They're at home.
Winner: Michigan St. 



Iowa at Ohio St. (Tuesday)
Another Big Ten opener. Iowa is only intimidating at home from what I can see.
Winner: Ohio St. 

Butler at Villanova (Wednesday)
I want this to be a big season for Butler, but Villanova is so good and balanced.
Winner: Villanova 

UNLV at Wyoming (Wednesday)
The Runnin' Rebels are coming off a big high after the Arizona win. Wyoming is a tough place to play though and UNLV is too up and down.
Winner: Wyoming 

Washington at California (Friday)
Cal's been solid this season and this is as good a time as ever to pick against Washington.
Winner: California

Movie Reaction: Into the Woods

Formula: 1 / Enchanted

Why I Saw It: I like me a good musical, a good fairy tale, and a good cast.

Cast: A lot of people clearly wanted in on this. Queen Meryl is getting most of the attention, although I wouldn't say she's dramatically better than everyone else. Emily Blunt, James Corden, Anna Kendrick, Chris Pine, Johnny Depp, Tracy Ullman, Christine Baranski, and all the people who's names I don't know are all good even though some have surprisingly little screen time. All were chosen well for their singing ability...well, most.

Plot: A baker (Corden) and his wife (Blunt) needs to remove a witch's (Streep) curse in order to have a child. The items they must gather intertwine with the lives of Cinderella (Kendrick), Prince Charming (Pine), Little Red Riding Hood (Lilla Crawford), Jack of the beanstalk fame (Daniel Huttlestone), Rapunzel (Mackenzie Mauzy), and others. The best word I can use for the intertwining is 'clever' and it's all handled with a proper balance of heft and humor. I think my one issue with the story is that the ending is nowhere near as big as I expected. With a musical, you assume, "big final number" and it doesn't have that. You almost realize after the fact that you watched the climax. It was a strange choice...or execution. I'm not sure which.

Elephant in the Room: I hear this was a stage musical first. I am aware of the show and that it is much more grim than the movie. It's one of those cases where the purists can choose to be very angry over all the changes or they can cool it and accept that it's something different. From my perspective though, it's very clear in the movie that it is both a stage production and grim. All sorts of beats in the movie (never fully showing the giant or Cinderella's ball and Jack in the giant world happening off camera) were designed for the limitations of a stage. That didn't take away from the movie. It just made its roots very obvious. As for the grim-ness, sure they changed Rapunzel's fate and toned down some of the baker's wife's actions (I looked some things up), but this is still pretty grim. Little Red Riding Hood is constantly a beat or two away from being Roxy from God Bless America and this is far from a standard happy Disney ending.

To Sum Things Up:
This is a smart inversion of the classic fairy tale (a phrase I feel like I'm saying more and more these days) and the music is quite catchy. The actors are all having a lot of fun, which can go a long way. My biggest worry is that it won't be what people expect. Fans of the musical may get turned off by the changes and people new to it may get turned off by the darker tone of it. I liked it, but I can see how this would be divisive. A lot of strong singers in this though, so if that's all you're looking for, I can't imagine you'll be disappointed.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: Wild

Formula: Into the Wild - a preposition & an article * a Woman

Why I Saw It: Reese Witherspoon and a pretty intriguing trailer.

Cast: This is Resse Witherspoon's movie and she carries it spectacularly, both in the redemptive present and the shameful flashbacks. Laura Dern's is the next most prominent character and earns it, even only through flashbacks. Given the nature of the movie, no one else sticks around for very long, but a lot of familiar faces pop up. For me, that included Thomas Sadoski (Loser), Michiel Huisman (Game of Thrones), Gaby Hoffman (Girls/Transparent), and Brian Van Holt (Cougar Town).

Plot: Cheryl Strayed is a woman who decides to walk the Pacific Crest Trail (like the Appalachian Train, but in the west). It's quickly apparent that she is poorly prepared for this although her determination pulls her through. As the movie progresses, a series of flashbacks show you why she is doing this (tragedy leading to acting out leading to a need to redeem herself). This is a great example of a movie being about the journey, not the destination, because nothing huge happens. She meets people along the way, some nice, some unsavory, but no one for very long. So, I hope you like scenes with hiking. Seriously, they do keep that stuff pretty interesting.

Elephant in the Room: And this is different than Into the Wild how? Well, first off all, Cheryl Stayed isn't deified. Secondly, she isn't an idiot. Thirdly, Reese Witherspoon is much better than Emile Hirsch (in this and in general). Then there's the happier ending. The journey aspect makes them similar, but that's about where it stops.

To Sum Things Up:
If you like Reese Witherspoon, you have no reason to miss this. She's as good or better than in her Academy Award winning performance in Walk the Line. This is the story of one woman's journey and it doesn't try to extrapolate that to some universal truth. She needed to do this because it's what worked for her. From a depiction standpoint, I'd have to check with my friend who walked the A.P. to be sure, but I think this does a good job showing the conditions these hikers deal with. The P.C.T. looks both daunting and feasible which is a tough balance. My biggest takeaway from it all though is that I hope I never fuck up bad enough to need to follow in Cheryl's footsteps.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: Foxcatcher

Formula: Warrior / Misery

Why I Saw It: The actual story is pretty fascinating and I loved the casting.

Cast: I say this every time I see him in something but I never expected to like Channing Tatum's work as much as I do right now. For as funny as he is in the Jump Street movies, he is so intense here. The character he is playing isn't a very expressive guy so Tatum has to make a character out of a guy who has perpetual "dumb jock" face. Steve Carrell is rightly getting the majority of the praise in this. He plays his part always with just a hint of malice. The best way I can describe it is that he had a very comedic performance that you are never comfortable laughing at (And, trust me, there is almost no laughing when you watch this). Mark Ruffalo is Tatum's brother and is sort of the yin to his yang. Tatum is stoic and intense. Ruffalo is at ease, but not indifferent.

Plot: If you don't know the story behind the movie, then I would read no further, because I have no qualms discussing 25 year old events. The follows the story of the Schultz brothers, Mark and Dave, played by Tatum and Ruffalo respectively. They are Olympic wrestlers who get tied to the Foxcatcher training facility, run by eccentrice millionaire John E. du Pont (Carrell). Du Pont becomes more and more controlling over time and things don't end well to say the least. This is far more of a character study than anything plot driven.

Elephant in the Room: So, this is a sports movie? No. There's a couple matches in there and I do know a little more about wrestling than I did before. None of this is the focus though. I want to make this very clear, because there was at least one guy in the theater when I saw it who was not prepared for this movie and let out a surprised "What the hell!?" toward the end. This is not a sports movie by almost any measure.

To Sum Things Up:
Foxcatcher is a vehicle for performances first. I'd argue that it's even more engaging knowing what happens, but there's still value in the surprise (if you'd call it that). This is a bit of an oppressive film in terms of the tone. Clocking in around two and a half hours, it's like to the point of wondering how hard the editor tried, but it was still worth while. 

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: Annie

Formula: Seriously? It's Annie. The formula is "Annie". That's it.

Why I Saw It: It looked cute and I probably have an unhealthy obsession with Rose Byrne.

Cast: If you needed this to realize that Quvenzhane Wallis is super talented, well, then you are with the majority of people who haven't seen her Oscar nominated debut in Beasts of the Southern Wild. Unsurprisingly [for me] she is wonderful in this and pulls off scenes repeatedly that wouldn't work with a lesser young actress. The rest of the cast, Jamie Foxx, Rose Byrne, Cameron Diaz, Bobby Cannavale, Adewala Akinnuoye-Agbaje (Mr. Eko!), assorted other children are all letting loose and having fun. It should be noted that not all singers are created equal, but no one is Russell Crowe-level distracting.

Plot: They modernized the well-known story and the changes were fitting. This time, Annie is a foster child (orphans are too sad, I guess). She starts living with billionaire Will Starks (Foxx) as a publicity stunt for his mayoral race. Hannigan (Diaz) is more of a punch line than a villain. It's certainly a kids movie, but there were a surprising number of more adult jokes in there or little touches that didn't need to be there for younger audiences to appreciate it. It's probably best to just ignore every beat of the third act though.

Elephant in the Room: How much of a musical is it? Not much of one. I didn't mind, but it really didn't try to be a musical very hard. It was weird. Musicals don't tend to call attention to the fact that they're musicals. This one kind of admits to the singing happening, basically killing the fourth wall. No, it's very weird if you think about it all.

To Sum Things Up:
How you walk into it will decide if you like it or not. I wanted to like it and did. It's a charming movie. The cast is affable and the story never takes itself too seriously for very long. It's funnier than I expected, while the songs are more of a mixed bag. Of course, if you aren't looking to like it, the story has a lot of holes and/or implausibilities (namely, regarding the chase scene at the end) and, despite how much fun she's having, Cameron Diaz isn't great in this (too much Carol Burnett, not enough creating her own character). It won't be topping any lists for me. That doesn't mean the movie wasn't delightful. 

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

2014 - The Shows I Didn't Watch

It's the end of another year and, despite not comfortably matching up with the TV calendar, I again feel compelled to offer my thoughts on the best of 2014 on TV. My giant ass list of movies is a little intimidating, so I like to break up the TV shows into more digestible parts.

This was a great year for TV but I'm cheap and/or only have so much time to watch things, so I missed a lot. Here's the shows I most wanted to watch, but for a variety of reasons (too far behind, wrong cable package, misjudged until it was too late) I didn't get to.

Top 10
Next Top 10
Everything in Between
Bottom 10
10 I Didn't See

The Good Wife

Why I Didn't Watch It: The show is several seasons in and I haven't see any of it.
Why I Need to Change That: Last season is widely regarded as one of the best (if not the best) seasons to date. It's getting ridiculous that I still haven't watched it. It's not going away.

Transparent

Why I Didn't Watch It: I don't have Amazon Prime
Why I Need to Change That: This stole all the buzz from the network shows this fall and I haven't heard a bad thing said about it to date. Jeffrey Tambor has apparently never been better and damn subscription fees for preventing me from watching this.

Rectify

Why I Didn't Watch It: I don't have...Sundance? IFC? I'm not sure which network. Regardless, it's not in my cable package.
Why I Need to Change That: This was one of my top ten shows last year and it almost certainly would've been this year had I seen it. It's the most beautiful atmospheric show on TV. I eagerly await when it shows up on Netflix or a DVD becomes available to rent.

Review with Andy Daly

Why I Didn't Watch It: I don't think I saw a single advertisement for this.
Why I Need to Change That: I'm going to have to credit TV critic Alan Sepiwall with building my excitement for this. Anytime a professional critic spends half of his review breaking down and laughing is a great sign.

Broad City

Why I Didn't Watch It: It popped up out of nowhere and then I never got around to it.
Why I Need to Change That: Comedy Central was on fire this year and Broad City carried the majority of the buzz. I'm so used to ignoring whatever shows were advertised while I watched Tosh.0 that I missed a gem of a show, it seems.

Masters of Sex

Why I Didn't Watch It: I'm a season behind and I don't have Showtime.
Why I Need to Change That: While I haven't heard season 2 getting the praise season 1 did, it's still Lizzy Caplan and Michael Sheen. Do I need more than that?

Please Like Me

Why I Didn't Watch It: All kinds of not readily available to me. And, I'm a season behind.
Why I Need to Change That: The recommendations for it from a couple friends could not be any stronger. I only vaguely know what it's even about, but I get the sense that I'd enjoy it.

Jane the Virgin

Why I Didn't Watch It: I mean, it's on the CW and is based off a Telenovella.
Why I Need to Change That: It's only halfway through its first season, so it's not too late. From what I hear, it had a nice pilot but critics assumed it would give into its CW urges but hasn't, at least not yet.

Homeland 

Why I Didn't Watch It: Season 2 burned a lot bridges and I don't have Showtime anymore.
Why I Need to Change That: Seriously, season 2 really irritated me. I didn't hear anything good about season 3. It sounds like season 4 is experiencing an uptick in quality. Honestly though, it's probably too little, too late.

Shameless 

Why I Didn't Watch It: Again, I don't have Showtime anymore.
Why I Need to Change That: A top ten show for me last year, you better believe that when I considered keeping Showtime, this was the major motivation. I miss this show terribly.

2014 - The Ten Shows I Most Regret Watching

It's the end of another year and, despite not comfortably matching up with the TV calendar, I again feel compelled to offer my thoughts on the best of 2014 on TV. My giant ass list of movies is a little intimidating, so I like to break up the TV shows into more digestible parts.

Now, I want to make something clear. This is the list of my favorite shows of the past year. It's not the shows that I objectively think were the best made. It's not the shows I'm most likely to watch again or buy on DVD. It's not even the shows that I'm most likely to recommend to other people. I made the list almost entirely by asking one question: What would I regret not seeing the most? I have them ranked or ordered, but trust me, it's a fluid list.

Here's a tough list to do. These are all shows that I watched a lot of, if not every episode. So, I liked them enough to watch. There's something to them that made them better than, say, Two Broke Girls, in my mind for one reason or another. You'll notice that the majority of these either ended this spring or started this fall. In other words, there's a reason they're at the bottom.

Top 10
Next Top 10
Everything in Between
Bottom 10
10 I Didn't See

[Going from Least to less Least Enjoyed]

Mulaney

The only show I've admitted to hate-watching. It's like it's a show that was designed to make me dislike it. There's the live studio audience, the broad physical comedy, actors saying lines to one another rather than playing out a scene, and countless other touches that rub me the wrong way. I'm desperately looking for things to appreciate about it but coming up short in every way.

The Michael J Fox Show

I got four episodes into the 2014 slate for the show and happily dropped it when they announced it was cancelled. IMDB lists air dates for the rest of the season, but I don't even remember it being on the air after the Olympics.

Selfie

Dead show walking. Happy feelings for Karen Gillan, John Cho, and creator Emily Kapnek can only carry it so far. At some point, it has to be funny and have a lead that is remotely likable.

A to Z

(500) Days of Summer the TV Series offers another reason why shows shouldn't be sold on a high concept alone. Then again, after nearly salvaging the last season of How I Met Your Mother, I wasn't the only person who believed Cristin Milioti had superhuman show-saving powers.

Cougar Town

I wish I could explain what happened, but at some point this season, it all started to rub me the wrong way. It was in my top 20 last year, then I had to power through the last few episodes this past season. Perhaps it's just aging poorly.

Trophy Wife

Not entirely the show's fault. My DVR screwed up a couple times and then I just fell behind, knowing that it wasn't coming back. It was a charming show, but not one that I ever saw having a high ceiling.

Married

Not quite a comedy but certainly sold as one. I could never come to terms with the tone of this despite really, really rooting for it because I like Judy Greer and Nat Faxon so much.

The Crazy Ones

RIP Robin Williams. It was an ok show but it never took off with audiences, even on CBS. It would certainly rank higher if it had continued, but by the looks of it, it probably wouldn't've had a second season anyway.

Gotham

It's still growing. Only in its first season, there's still too many groan-worthy references to who characters will become to rate it any higher.

Scorpion

You know, I still am convinced that I could drop this show at any second and not miss it at all, yet I keep watching. We'll see where I am with it in May. It's not like it's going to jump or dip tremendously in quality.

2014 - All the Other Shows I Watched

It's the end of another year and, despite not comfortably matching up with the TV calendar, I again feel compelled to offer my thoughts on the best of 2014 on TV. My giant ass list of movies is a little intimidating, so I like to break up the TV shows into more digestible parts.

Now, I want to make something clear. This is the list of my favorite shows of the past year. It's not the shows that I objectively think were the best made. It's not the shows I'm most likely to watch again or buy on DVD. It's not even the shows that I'm most likely to recommend to other people. I made the list almost entirely by asking one question: What would I regret not seeing the most? I have them ranked or ordered, but trust me, it's a fluid list.

By my count, I've watched 47 shows that aired in 2014. That's a lot. I can't really downplay that. I've probably lost friendships and countless hours of daylight to keep up with these, so I'd like to give them all their due and also explain why they weren't considered in my upper-tier of shows for the year.

Top 10
Next Top 10
Everything in Between
Bottom 10
10 I Didn't See

[Roughly order from most enjoyed to least]

Modern Family

It barely made my top 20 last year and fell out barely this year despite stringing together a very strong group of episodes this fall. TV has been too strong this year. Make no mistake, I'm more excited for Modern Family right now than I have been for a couple seasons.

The Big Bang Theory

Another one to barely make the top 20 last year and barely miss the cut this year. BBT is what it is by now. I'm not sure what it can do to move higher in the list.

New Girl

Season three ending rather weakly with Jess and Nick's relationship ending with a fizzle. This season, they've given into being a joke machine first and foremost which has worked really well.

Orange is the New Black

I want to like this show the way other people do but I just don't. It's beyond me, I guess. Don't get me wrong though, I happily watched it all, it's just a middle rung show for me.

Agents of SHIELD

Pretty much since "Seeds" the show has been as good as I could hope it would be. The tie-in to The Winter Soldier was incredibly effective and season two has hit the ground running. Alas, the only thing holding it back for me is the limit of how much I enjoy this kind of show in general.

You're the Worst

It started as that show to watch because I was already watching Married and ended as the much stronger of the two. Something with the tone of that hour of TV never settled with me, but this is definitely one of those shows that I know a lot of people who would enjoy it if they watched it.

Archer

Yet another show to fall from last year's "Next 10" list that also had no appreciable decline. I can't say how much of this is me wanting to recognize new things. This season took a big and refreshing detour but was still the show we know and love.

Arrow

I caught up on this in a whirlwind this fall and have no sense of when what episodes aired. Season two as a whole was very strong, especially toward the end. It's dropped dramatically this fall (Not sure how much blame goes to The Flash). That leaves it somewhere in the muck as far as year end rankings go.

Blackish

Freshman comedy series that's likely to move up. It's still finding its footing so far. It's good to be reminded how much I like Anthony Anderson though.

Sherlock

God, was that this year? Three episodes and all in the winter. Let's just be thankful that I remembered to get it on the list. In all seriousness though, "The Sign of Three" was fantastic, but the other two episodes were only ok.

Looking

I'm not going to lie, I had a real hard time switching gears from Girls to this when I watched. I'm glad it's going to have a second season to follow Patrick, Augustin, and Dom.

Girl Meets World

Look, it's not a great show. If measured against other shows fairly, it would still rank higher than Mulaney, but it would be in the ballpark. Luckily, this plays into nostalgia and that is a powerful force that makes bad thing seem good, broad jokes seem clever, and broader performances seem appropriate. I sing along to the opening theme song every week. How are you going to beat that?

How I Met Your Mother

Can the final slap, "How Your Mother Met Me", and the completely satisfying end to the "Gary Blauman" episode make up for Robin floating away on a balloon and killing the Mother? Short answer: No. Long answer: Well, I already wrote it once.

The Bridge

This show got way better than I was ready for. The first season was really just a serial killer revenge story with a great atmosphere. Season two had The Wire-level build and payoff. I didn't watch it closely enough early, so when things really got going, it lost me. Rating it this low is on me.

Halt and Catch Fire

It spent too much of the first season pretending it was more of a prestige show than it was. Once it moved past that and just turned into a show about a couple outsiders trying to break big, I really started enjoying it (I mean, my favorite episode I repeatedly described as 'a caper'). I'm not sure I need a second season but as a single season it was solid. 

House of Cards

Complex is not the same as smart. Intricate is not the same as well-crafted. It wants to be Mad Men and falls closer to Scandal. If it just leaned into that, I'd probably appreciate it a lot more.

Suburgatory

RIP. This was the biggest afterthought of a season that I watched. It was a dead show walking when it premiered and ABC burned it off as such. There were some good moments and it certainly had an interesting ending. In the end, after the initial concept, it never figured out what it was about.

2014 - My Next Top Ten Favorite Shows

It's the end of another year and, despite not comfortably matching up with the TV calendar, I again feel compelled to offer my thoughts on the best of 2014 on TV. My giant ass list of movies is a little intimidating, so I like to break up the TV shows into more digestible parts.

Now, I want to make something clear. This is the list of my favorite shows of the past year. It's not the shows that I objectively think were the best made. It's not the shows I'm most likely to watch again or buy on DVD. It's not even the shows that I'm most likely to recommend to other people. I made the list almost entirely by asking one question: What would I regret not seeing the most? I have them ranked or ordered, but trust me, it's a fluid list.

You can looks at this list as "those shows that I couldn't find a way to fit in my top ten". It's a collection of new shows, fallen favorites, and rising veterans.

Top 10
Next Top 10
Everything in Between
Bottom 10
10 I Didn't See

20. Saturday Night Live 

Last Year: Not Ranked
Favorite Episode: Lena Dunham/The National
SNL isn't going through any sort of golden age (or even a silver one). Personally, I don't think it has to be to get a little attention. It's a volatile show in its nature, in that it's live and relies on guest hosts each week. Still, the cast is incredibly solid right now. What finally bumped this into my top 20 was a string of episodes this spring including Lena Dunham's and Louis C.K.'s which were some of the weirdest and funniest episodes I'd seen in a while.

19. The Walking Dead

Last Year: Not Ranked
Favorite Episode: The Grove
By deciding to split the cast up and spend several weeks focusing on only a few characters at a time as well as not keeping anyone in the same place for too long, The Walking Dead strung together the strongest calendar year of episodes yet. The fact that Terminus was only a factor for about an episode and a half is almost unfathomable by the show's previous standards. For me, the year will always be marked by "The Grove", which was one of the toughest hours of TV to watch all year (Kids + Of Mice and Men = DRAMA).

18. Parenthood

Last Year: Not Ranked
Favorite Episode: The Offer
In general, Parenthood has been frustrating in 2014. Too much Drew love triangle in the winter. Not enough of the characters in most episodes this fall. Joel and Julia being separated has been about as poorly handled as I can imagine. All it takes though is one family dinner, or a Harry Potter party, or Max crying over being picked on (the only time this year I'm admit to basically crying in my living room) to remind me why I watch this.

17. The Mindy Project

Last Year: Not Ranked
Favorite Episode: Danny and Mindy
Mindy and Danny finally got together. That was the missing puzzle piece. It's fun to see different failed romances for Mindy, but having them together has focused the show and allowed it to breathe. There's no guest star boyfriends who have to do any of the week to week heavy lifting. The other characters have settled into their roles more. Jeremy is the administrator. Peter is the fixer-upper. Morgan, as always, is the wild card. Tamra and Bev are there to fill time. What keeps me watching though is how much I love Mindy's comedic voice. She reliably has one or two lines each episode that slay me. And, as you'll see by the rest of my list, if you can make me laugh, you'll rank highly.

16. Community

Last Year: Not Ranked
Favorite Episode: Introduction to Teaching
This was hard to do. After a disappointing non-Dan Harmon season 4, season 5 was back to being the Community I love so I wanted to find room for it back in my top ten. I've said since season one, that I didn't want the show going past four seasons (preferably ending on the date Jeff mentions he has set a dinner reservation for in season 1), because anything more would force the initial pitch. Season five confirmed some of my reservations as the cast dwindled and the high concept episodes (formerly an occasional treat) took over. I still love this cast and it gives me moments like Abed as Nic Cage as a "sexy cat". It just wasn't in the top tier in 2014.

15. True Detective

Last Year: N/A
Favorite Episode: The Secret Fate of All Life
Remember back in February when this was all anyone could talk about? There was good reason for it. Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrellson were fantastic, sometimes magically making dense dialogue or diatribes sound like poetry. The last couple episodes deflated some of the love and too many comparisons to Fargo later did it no favors. There is so much to love in this and HBO couldn't've asked for a better beginning to this anthology series.

14. Game of Thrones

Last Year: #5
Favorite Episode: The Lion and the Rose
This is one of those model of consistency shows. The cast is huge. The story is even larger. The phrase "stand alone" is never going to apply to the series, so it's hard to rate any individual season fairly. 2014 had a lot of big moments, from the death of a King, to Tyrion's trial, and even one of the most brutal deaths of any character this year in "The Mountain and the Viper". Then there's "The Watchers on the Wall" that evoked season two's "Blackwater" in its singular focus.

13. Mad Men

Last Year: #9
Favorite Episode: The Strategy
Seven episodes is all I have to go off because AMC is annoying. Sadly, that leaves a very small margin of error. The final two episodes, "The Strategy" and "Waterloo", almost kept Man Men in my top ten because they were that good. The previous five episodes were more of a mixed bag though. Perhaps I'm just spoiled by how good Mad Men always is that I'm not appreciating it now. Regardless, I expect this to be setup the way that Breaking Bad's final season was. I'd be shocked if Mad Men didn't return to the top ten next year.

12. Girls

Last Year: #3
Favorite Episode: Beach House
Is that how tough it is this year? My former #3 falls to twelfth? Well, yes and no. Girls is not a show that was ever set to age well. I still love it and it's one of the few shows I make sure to get on DVD. I love all the characters and I hate them all at the same time. Hannah can't get out of her own way. Marnie's a mess. Jessa is determined to not grow up. Shoshanna got smacked by reality. The guys are all man-children. I can't wait to see Hannah in the MFA program next year.

11. Last Week Tonight

Last Year: N/A
Favorite Episode: Episode #1.9
I tried so hard to fit this into my top ten, but I couldn't find anything to remove. I don't think any show made me break out in laughter more than this. He took the Daily Show format, which has been too imposing for me to regularly keep up with, condensed it down to a weekly show, and went in depth on topics that most shows wouldn't even touch (Ugandan anti-Gay Laws, The Death Sentence, the Indian Election). As you can tell from this list, I'm going to have a rough go if I lose access to HBO.