Top Comedy Movies of 2011

I think that eight months into 2012, I've seen enough of the comedies from 2011 to bring back my Top and Bottom movies list. To recap, unlike most things I make into ranked lists, there's absolutely no metric used to make this list beyond what I think is the subjective "best" or "worst comedy movie of the year. That said, if you disagree, that's because you are wrong.

A quick recap of what I'm doing here.

Top
1. Bridesmaids

Certainly the most high profile comedy of the year and rightfully so. Hilarious from beginning to end. I love me an Apatow production and I'm glad to see a group of TV actors stepping up so commandingly. It got a lot of praise for the female dominated cast, but I think that diminishes the comedic achievement. This is a quality comedy, no qualifiers needed.

2. Crazy, Stupid Love

No RomCom since Nine Months has had a singular scene as funny as the shit-hits-the-fan scene in this movie. Something I find really impressive is how few of the actors are known for comedies in this. It pretty much solidified my opinion of both Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling.

3. The Muppets

I really expected this to be a bigger hit with it's broadly appealing cavalcade of cameos, nostalgia factor for the adults, and, well, puppets for the children. Regardless, it is almost impossible to not smile from beginning to end. A lot of the humor is punny and obvious in the most endearing way. This is a transparent labor of love for Jason Segel in the best way.

4. A Very Harold and Kumar 3D Christmas

I am shamelessly infatuated with this franchise, I admit. The third outing is easily the weakest of the series, but it is still immensely enjoyable. The decision to take on Christmas had me giddy since pre-production began.

5. Bad Teacher

Hey look, it's Jason Segel again, although I shouldn't kid myself. This was a Cameron Diaz vehicle and she knocked it out of the park. Before this movie, I never would've believed she could evoke the same pathos that Billy-Bob Thorton did in Bad Santa, a close cousin of this movie, even if it didn't have any of the same people in common (I checked and find that fact remarkable).

6. Horrible Bosses

Probably the best premise of any movie in 2011. I question the execution of concept, and Kevin Spacey kind of took over too much of the movie, but Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, and Jason Sudeikis are all names that put me in a seat and it had enough laughs throughout.

7. Tucker and Dale vs. Evil *

It's rare that a one joke concept can effectively be stretched out into a feature film, but they did it effectively. Tyler Labine and Alan Tudyk use their broadly comedic chops wonderfully. I even give Katrina Bowden credit for trying to do comedies even if she is far from developed as an actress. And, I should mention, this easily has 2 or 3 of the funniest scenes of the year.

* Boxofficemojo lists it as 2011, IMDB lists it as 2010. I hadn't seen it till after I made the last list, so STFU.

HONORABLE MENTION

Our Idiot Borther
Paul Rudd, Zooey Deschanel, Rashida Jones, Adam Scott, Elizabeth Banks, Emily Mortimer, Kathryn Hahn. How could you go wrong with a cast like that? As it turns out, you can. Still, all the talent on screen powers through the material and still leaves you with a greatly endearing, albeit simple, movie.

Midnight in Paris
When a Woody Allen movie works, it works. And, Owen Wilson plays a good Woody Allen.

Your Highness
A movie so bad that it's good and then bad again but never unwatchable. I feel like I need to see it stoned.

30 Minutes or Less
It wasn't bad. It just wasn't all that great.

Young Adult
It isn't a greatly funny movie, but it has some good moments, and Charlize Theron is dynamite in this. Love her or hate her, you're going to hate her...and love it

50/50
Honestly, I want to list this because I like the cast and respect Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg for using their Superbad and Pineapple Express goodwill to make it.

Everything Must Go
Ok, it's not a comedy, really. However, it has Will Ferrell so that's what it's called, I like him going dramatic, and this is my list.

Hesher
It's a shame Rainn Wilson can't attach himself to a successful bigger-budget movie. He's solid in this and Super.


Past Years:
Top Comedy Movies of 2010
Top Comedy Movies of 2009
Top Comedy Movies of 2008
Top Comedy Movies of 2007
Top Comedy Movies of 2006
Top Comedy Movies of 2005
Top Comedy Movies of 2004
Top Comedy Movies of 2003
Top Comedy Movies of 2002
Top Comedy Movies of 2001
Top Comedy Movies of 2000
Top Comedy Movies of 1999

Rant: Funeral Processions

Funeral processions are a funny thing. And that's ignoring the rest of the funeral customs because it's all pretty crazy for the uninitiated. So, you have a dead body that you need to move from point A to point B, and everyone needs to come along. The odd part is, they get priority on the road. Why? Their condition isn't changing. Meanwhile, I miss my turn because Grandpa's death crew gets to drive down the median at 15 mph. What's the point in giving the procession priority on the road if it's only moving 10 mph BELOW the speed limit? One time I was going down the road and a funeral procession actually caused traffic to get backed up. I was pissed and cursing to myself until I saw what was causing it. There's really not a way to not feel like an ass after that. When I think about it though it's probably for the best funeral processions get rule of the road. I can't imagine many things worse than being stuck driving a hearse in bumper to bumper traffic in the middle of July. Oh, and if the A.C. is broken. I imagine embalming can only take away so much of the problem when put in an oven. I don't know what cooked human smells like.

You know, it's never good to lose a family member or loved one, but it's kind of fun when you make the cut to get one of those "Funeral" flags for the drive. It makes me feel special. Alternately, I always feel bad for the cut off car, the first one in the procession without one of the flags. I like to pretend it's the car of a mistress who the family refuses to recognize.

I thought about keeping one of those flags. It'd be great for when traffic sucks. I put that in the window, look sad, and start playing the intro music for The Undertaker. A flawless plan.
Another car I like to find in the procession is the person rocking out in his car. There's always a great-niece or someone who came directly from working the morning shift at McDonald's with a car that is more rust than metal, listening to hip-hop, proving that the only thing that works well in the car is the sub woofer. And this car is sandwiched between a car full of AARP members and one with people pissed to use a day off for this. For this reason, I have my funeral mix ready: It's mostly just Lord of the Rings soundtracks, a few versions of "Cat's in the Cradle", and Bobby McFerrin's timeless hit "Don't Worry, Be Happy" because, even in my grief I can appreciate irony. Otherwise, the terrorists have won.

Speaking of bad things happening. If the hearse gets in a wreck, how do you figure the body count?

All I know is that I judge people based on the length of their procession. Example: Hobo, none. Michael Jackson, Staples Center. Ok, not the best example but my point stands. That's why I have been making efforts to pad my numbers. Like any good Catholic, I refuse to wear a condom. I never donate money unless the beneficiaries know exactly who it came from. Lastly, I have been building up an extensive network of enemies. It's going to be a packed house just from people who want to make sure I'm dead.

Final tip: Make sure to drive a nice car in the funeral procession, because someone will be offended if you have to say your car died on the way to the funeral.

Post Emmy Nominations Rant

As I figured, Emmy Nominations came out and I have some opinions about them. In case you missed them (and since I'm not about to break down every category...yet), here's a link to the Wikipedia page so you can see who was nominated. I'll give you a minute to peruse that.

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I know, right? I can't believe it either. A bunch of idiots. As required by any post about the Emmys, this is where I say that it doesn't really matter in the end because none of these awards matter or affect anything. Then again, of course they matter to me. I've blogged about the top ten Houses, Don't Trust the B... from Apt. 23, and my DVR. TV is kind of my thing. Whatever. Now, how do I want to organize this rant?

I had a giant-ass diatribe all typed out that even I didn't have the effort to get through. Instead, let's do a good, bad, and ugly breakdown.

Writing
The Good: All the Nominations. I have absolutely no problem with the picks. Way to go recognizing Community finally.
The Bad: None
The Ugly: They couldn't spare a spot for some Breaking Bad?

Directing
The Good: Still no issues with Drama. Great variety of deserving nominees. Girls, Louie, and probably Curb deserve a spot.
The Bad: Modern Family barely deserves one, let alone two nominations for directing all the actors to overreact to things and look surprised when everything plays out predictably.
The Ugly: No love for the live 30 Rock? That seems mean, and HIMYM, as bad as it was, put together a few good showings, like "The Ducky Tie".

Drama Acting
The Good: All the Mad Men love is deserving. Same with Breaking Bad. I can't speak for Downton Abbey, but I can attest that Damian Lewis and Claire Danes should be there for Homeland. It's good to see Peter Dinklage love hasn't waned as well.
The Bad: Kathy Bates is there because she's an Oscar winner. That's about it. Glen Close is good in Damages but shouldn't be a front-runner. Michael C. Hall is a great actor in a bad season who didn't rise above his material. Don't reward that.
The Ugly: Sure, House was bad, but do you really have to snub Hugh Laurie for his last eligible year? Also, I get that Shameless is more of a Comedy, but denying Emmy Rossum a nomination is unquestionably the dumbest snub of the year.

Comedy Acting
The Good: Thank god Louis CK didn't fall out of the field. They found a better second Big Bang nominee this year in Mayim Bialik who was maybe even more impressive than Jim Parsons (who deserves to be nominated, not win) this season. The non-Modern Familiy supporting picks are all pretty solid. Amy Poehler continues to be deserving but not the sole nominee from her show and the twin towers of Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin continue to be a constant and comforting presence.
The Bad: Six Modern Family nominations is absurd for it or any show. Five was two many for 30 Rock a couple years ago and I loved that season. Zooey Deschanel doesn't fit in with the rest of the group. She's good, but not worthy yet. I'm sure Jon Cryer picked up some slack in 2.5 Men but this feels more like a "fuck you" to Charlie Sheen than deserved recognition. Also, I get that Don Cheadle's a movie star and all. Did anyone watch House of Lies? I did. Not a good pick at all.
The Ugly: Combined nominations for Community, Happy Endings, It's Always Sunny, and Parks and Rec? One. That's some "The Wire" level oversight my friends.

Mini-Series and TV Movies
The Good: Nominations for actual mini-series and movies.
The Bad: Nominations for TV shows, at least one for it's second season (Luther).
The Ugly: America's lack of understanding of the British model.

Variety Series
The Good: The familiar faces (Daily Show, Colbert Report, SNL, Real Time)
The Bad: Jimmy Kimmel. Not all Jimmys have to be nominated, especially considering the snubs.
The Ugly: No Conan or Ferguson? That's a shame. Portlandia would've been a refreshing addition as well.

Reality Series
The Ugly: All apply.

Drama Series
The Good: I've only seen 3 of the 6, but I don't see any glaring mistakes. They trimmed the fat, getting rid of Dexter and fortified the field with Homeland. Exciting year. A lot of potential to dethrone Mad Men.
The Bad: I've heard Downton Abbey wasn't as good in season two. Maybe that could've been swapped out. Not sure with what though.
The Ugly: They got rid of the egregious stuff. The view's pretty good from where I'm sitting.

Comedy Series
The Good: 30 Rock is still one of the strongest comedies on TV. Big Bang Theory was strong within the multi-cam model. I've heard great things about Girls as well. I'm glad to see Glee and The Office finally drop out.
The Bad: Modern Family has been steadily going downhill since it's fantastic first season. This one was forgettable at best and lazy as worst.
The Ugly: I expected no Happy Endings, Community, It's Always Sunny. The snubbing of Louie doesn't make sense since it is one of only two comedies (the other being Girls) with noms in Directing, Acting, and Writing. By any stretch of logic, that should mean a nomination of Veep. Also, three noms for HBO pushing Parks & Rec. out is completely ridiculous. No Parks & Rec. is a total pie in the face for a group that actually got it right last year. I honestly don't understand it. No matter who wins this, it won't feel right.

Movie Reaction: The Dark Knight Rises

Formula: The Dark Knight + A Little Turtles 2: The Secret of the Ooze

Cast: This movie has an embarrassment of riches in the cast. Much more so than even The Dark Knight, Christian Bale takes the back seat a lot hear. It's hard to remember a superhero lead that demanded the screen as little as him, which is said as a compliment. Anne Hathaway is oh so wonderful and narrowly edges out Scarlett Johansson for hottest comic book woman of the summer. Gary Oldman does everything he can in the scenes he's given. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a wonderful everyman perspective of the movie, and a little more. Marion Cotillard is really good in this, although it doesn't feel like the kind of role she relishes in as much as other's I've seen her in. Tom Hardy, well, is no Heath Leger. That just wasn't going to happen. No one expected it either. He's exactly the kind of enigmatic villain this movie needed. Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine both are great, even if they basically serve the same purpose in the movie, being the sagely advisor. Shit, I know I'm forgetting someone. It doesn't matter. This movie serviced the entire cast better than any movie I've seen with this many leading-caliber actors in it.

Plot: I'm avoiding spoilers. You could make an argument that the run time did not need to be that long. I certainly thing The Dark Knight had a better overall narrative, but this was the final movie that had to happen. Nolan has been building toward something with this franchise and this is it. There's a lot of tropey-feeling beats, sure. I never found them a drag on the movie though. It is dense. It is layered. It is wonderful.

Direction: If there is a better [proven] director out there than Christopher Nolan, then I don't know of him. No director handles a $100 million budget as masterfully as he does. Rarely can someone make something that functions as both a film and a movie, as well as he does time and time again. I know there's some haters out there, but I honestly don't understand why. The man makes movies that are artsy and layered and makes them into blockbusters with broad appeal. That is a rare skill.

Elephant in the Room: What about the shooting? Much like the Batman story itself, this series has been oddly attached to tragedy. First, The Dark Knight is forever tied to Heath Leger's iconic (a word overused, but honestly feeling like an understatement in this case) performance and death before it's release. Now, The Dark Knight Rises will always be tied to this madman who stole the show, and I don't mean Bane. It's certainly made its initial record-breaking potential moot. In the long term, I don't it will hurt it because the news rarely has the shelf life of a great movie. It's such a shame that no one will be talking about the success of the movie, but instead they will be reporting the tragedy that it is unfortunately linked to.
Also, if anyone tries to pull the "don't you think the content of movies like these are in some way responsible" angle, I am done with you. That is an asinine thing to say. Crazy people are crazy. If it wasn't this that gave him the idea, it would be something else. You can blame our culture in general, but don't single out this movie due to one tragic example.

To Sum Things Up:
I came in highly biased, but this is the best movie of the year so far. I'm not a huge Batman fan in general, and Christopher Nolan is one of those director's whose movies I liked first and then I realized he directed all of them. So, something had to convince me that these are great, and I think it's a "the cream always rises to the top" situation. This movie is so fucking good. Where The Avengers was an almost perfect popcorn featured, The Dark Knight Rises aspires to be much more and succeeds. It is rare that the word 'epic' feels appropriate. Before Nolan's Batman trilogy, the last great example was Lord of the Rings. This movie caps an extraordinary accomplishment and it is deserving of all the praise it receives. The only real knocks on it I can find is that it's a little long, parts feel sort of familiar (although a lot of this is intentional), and I still like The Dark Knight better. Then again, I think for The Dark Knight to feel complete, it needs to have this third movie to wrap it up.

Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

Movie Reaction: Safety Not Guaranteed

Formula: The "We have to go back" portion of Lost + Rom-Com formula + Some Movie I can't remember

Cast: Aubrey Plaza in a starring role. That alone got me in the theater. I'm happy to say that she did a pretty good job front and center. Her character isn't extremely different from April Ludgate, but part of that is because, when you cast Plaza, you get Plaza. I won't say she doesn't have range but she'd definitely mastering a specific shade first. Jake Johnson plays a bit of a douche. He does that overgrown manchild thing well though. Mark Duplass creates as believable a character as he can given the script. More on that in a bit. I've never seen Karan Soni before. He seems fine in his limited role on the movie. There's a bunch of bit parts played by people you've seen before but none had enough screen time to warrant talking about.

Plot: The concept is pretty fun. It certainly screams "indie movie" in a good way. The plot that was advertised, however, is maybe half of the time. The rest of the movie is pretty much a bunch of non-connected side stories with Johnson and Soni's characters. I think it would've been better had they cut those out so the main story didn't get so shortchanged. It ends about the only way it can and scene-to-scene, things follow almost exactly how you'd expect. The core story is well handled though.

Elephant in the Room: I've never heard of this movie. Is it even in theaters? I've been on the lookout for this one since I heard about it during the festival circuit. However, it's not a big nationwide release and I don't think I've seen any trailers for it. If you haven't heard of it, that's expected. That hardly means it's bad.

To Sum Things Up:
For all its shortcomings, I quite liked this. I wish it would've gotten a bigger release so I didn't have to see it at the discount theater. For most people, it's worth checking out when it inevitably makes its way to the instant queue on Netflix.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Mini-Rant: Cheating Through School

There are certain professions I actively want the person to have cheated their way through school for. My favorite example is a lawyer. Granted, I don't have the highest opinion of, well, laws...or government, but I don't want the lawyer who played by the rules. I want the guy who found every way he could to not go through the work. This guy, not Mr. Top of His Class, will be the one to find a way to turn my DUI into loitering in a moving vehicle while medicated. Besides, do you trust anyone who stays in school that long? I don't. That's why I never had teachers who liked me. They understood my disdain immediately.

Do doctors even need that much training? Call me a realist, but if I start seizing on a plane, I assume I'm a goner. Does every doctor from a pediatrician to a proctologist needs to know what to do? Besides, if the doctor around me when I need it is too good, I'm afraid  he won't help me because it could hurt his numbers.

I know their dirty little secret anyway: the nurses DO everything. Doctors just sign it off. And, nurses didn't go through as much school. Also, no, I don't feel bad that the nurses get all the shit work. If you are smart enough to get through nursing school then you are smart enough to know doctors will shit on you. You made your bed, now lay on it.

Pre Emmy Nomination Thoughts

Ugh, it's about time for the Emmys again. Not really, but the nominees are announced on 7/17 and the ceremony is about a month after that. For someone like myself though, that means they are right around the corner.

I thought about doing a primer like Hitfix does, but frankly, they do a better and more informed job than myself. Also, I don't know how to make slideshows like they do. And, frankly, I'd rather just rant or make a crudely structured list using only as many images as I'm motivated to include*. It's what I do. It's why this is a blog. It's why most of my hits come from me reading my own posts because I find myself endlessly and tirelessly entertaining.

*I'm not buying Photoshop either.

Going into this year, I have a few small hopes. I don't think they are a lot to ask. Let's run through them, shall we:

1) Let's not nominate all the above age 30 cast of Modern Family. I get that the show is popular with the Emmys. All 6 co-leads (I can't honestly call them all supporting actors) were not better than almost every other supporting character in a comedy this year. I'm not sure any of them were, but I accept that they are getting some nominations. I'd even accept one of the kids on the show getting nominations over the adults. At least that would be interesting and it's not like the kids were appreciably (if at all) worse than the adults. I'd argue they were better a lot of the time.
While I'm at it, I appreciate the lack of ego in the cast by all submitting as supporting players, but can't we take that a step further? You know, if you have won an Emmy, drop out of the field or automatically submit as a lead. I just can't see Eric Stonestreet win again. Fizbo was great and deserving. Nothing this year was.

2) Let Community sneak in with a nomination. I don't even expect it to be in acting. Something like "Remedial Chaos Theory" has to be deserving of something for Writing or Directing, right?

3) Let's swap some Mad Men awards. The show is great and arguably deserving of it's best Drama wins. How about this though? Give a couple actors wins in exchange for a show like Breaking Bad or even Homeland getting best drama. Cranston should loosen his reign too. He's the best actor on TV, no doubt, for his work in Breaking Bad, but three wins is plenty. I long ago accepted that the Emmys are only 50% (at best) merit-based anyways, so who is it hurting to shake it up some?

4) Don't give Modern Family best writing or directing. It dominated those categories in a 30 Rock-esque manner. That's boring. Give them the wins, sure, but not all the nominations. M.F. submitted 9 episodes for writing this year. I'm scared to look at the number for directing. That's a ridiculous and pompous number. Let's let Parks and Rec. into the field or something.

5) Remember Louie. I'll be sad if last year's nominations were a fluke. That show is so great and unique. I'm shocked it didn't scare Emmy voters away from the beginning. Don't back down now.

6) Can we snub CBS? Only to teach them a lesson. Two Broke Girls is awful. How I Met Your Mother was weak, creatively. Big Bang was solid, but Jim Parsons gets all the attention and two wins is enough for him. CSI...is still on the air (really? I didn't realize). Two and a Half Men was, let's just say, not any better than when it was "Winning". The Good Wife, I have nothing against, but there must be victims in this war.

7) Give the CW a throwaway nomination. They deserve it for being such good sports.

8) Can we please have a nomination for a cancelled series? Those are always fun "pie in the face" moments for networks.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I'm sure I'll have plenty more thoughts on 7/18.

Movie Reaction: Savages

Formula: Traffic + Man on Fire + a dash of Romeo + Juliet
               Scarface + JFK (not really, but I sure would like to see what that movie would look like)
                Any Oliver Stone Movie + Any movie about drug cartels
              

Cast: It was a three strikes, you're out situation for Taylor Kitsch. After John Carter and Battleship, I was very worried that I'd never see Tim Riggins back to form. Thankfully, he was very good in this in a role that didn't demand all the attention go toward him. I don't see a lot with Aaron Johnson, but last time I saw him was Kick-Ass, so that a sterling reputation as far as I'm concerned. Blake Lively...is in the movie. She's not great in it. Serviceable is the word I'll use. Salma Hayek hasn't done anything this good in a while. Benicio Del Toro and John Travolta are in familiar roles (for this type of movie, not for those actors).

Plot: I'm pretty sure I've seen this movie before. It feels like most other drug cartel movies I've seen.The whole "just because I'm telling this story doesn't mean I'm alive at the end of it" schtick is pretty stupid, and the ending tries to have it's cake and eat it too. Those things irked me some, although most of the movie was pretty solid. I was surprised to like an Oliver Stone movie this much because I'm normally not a fan.

Elephant in the Room: What the fuck is this movie exactly? The plot is pretty meandering and it feels like a collection of ideas about Mexican drug cartels more than a story that needed to be told. The previews don't do a lot to establish all of what it is, partly, because it is really a series of character pieces.

WTF Moment: There was a baby in the theater. Who brings a baby to a movie that features beheadings in the first ten minutes?

To Sum Things Up:
I quite liked it, certainly more than The Amazing Spider-Man
. And, it's definitely the best of Taylor Kitsch's trinity of movies this year. These aren't the highest praises. I do mean to say it's worth seeing, maybe not in theaters.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Annual DVR Bloodletting

Oh, Summer. How I love thee. It's the closest I have to a break from my maddening TV schedule. Only a few shows are new, so it allows me too get caught up on that long list of "you should watch this. It's so good. It's like my favorite show. How can you not watch this?" shows. It comes down to about the same amount of time in front of the TV, but it's all on DVD, which means I'm can watch while at my computer.
It's about as good a time as any to evaluate my DVR list. See what stays, see what goes, delete what's ended, etc.

I'm starting with a list 36 strong. That's 36 series recordings. Let the bloodbath begin. There's some good new shows coming in the fall. I need to make room. Let's break it down.

Absolute Locks to Stay
30 Rock - An all-time favorite in it's final season.
Breaking Bad - Soooooooooo good. And It's on in the summer. That helps.
Community - No Dan Harmon worries me, but I love too much of this to stop.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia - After last season, how could I stop?
Louie - Oh my god!!! Amazing show! If you don't even give it a chance, I judge you, harshly.
Mad Men - Yeah, I'm on the bandwagon. So what?
Parks and Recreation - Best comedy on TV.

Going Down with the Ship
Burn Notice - It's still harmless fun. I like it more than anything else in this section at this point.Dexter - I think I'm too committed and have built a tradition out of this.
How I Met Your Mother - I hate that I'm still watching this, but I might as well. How much longer can it really have?
The Office - I'm fascinated to watch this train wreck.

80/20
Archer - I have no complaints.
Big Bang Theory - I have some issues with it, but it's too harmless to stop.
Happy Endings - This would probably be at "lock" status if my DVR didn't make it such a hassle to record.
The League - Paired with It's Always Sunny... it should be safe.
The Middle - Somehow, I like this series more even if I don't think it gets any better. Weird, right?
New Girl - Had it stayed the way it was in the pilot, I'd be out, but it improved a lot and I'm yet to experience the Zooey fatigue that has struck others.
Suburgatory - I think it's safe. If Alicia Silverstone is still there, I may not be.
Tosh.0 - Who am I kidding, this show's too much fun to stop.
The Walking Dead - Everything else I watch on AMC is amazing. I keep waiting for this to be as well.
Wilfred - Paired with Louie and on in the summer. It is pretty safe.

One Wrong Move...
Cougar Town - Bill Lawrence is out and TBS ruins shows. To say I'm worried is an understatment.
Don't Trust the B...in Apt. 23 - 6 episodes is not a strong sample size. I'm not crazy about it, but I've seen a lot of second season jumps in the past couple years.
Modern Family - It's been pissing me off a lot. One egregious episode or breakout new series and it's gone.
Up All Night - It's a harmless series. I want to be devoted to it, but it has to figure some things out first.

Keeping, But Not Recording on HD
Made - I think it's safe for drinking purposes alone, but that #dreambigger shit has to stop (record an episode and you'll know what I'm talking about).
Saturday Night Live - I'll let my mood decide if I need to watch an episode.
The Soup - I am so close to cancelling this just because DVR can't figure it out.

I Should Buy ShowtimeCalifornication - Such a harmless show. It's probably close to the end anyways, right.
The Green Room with Paul Provenza - Ok, this is only staying IF I get Showtime.
Homeland - This, not Dexter, is why I will probably be ordering Showtime in the fall.
Shameless - It grew on me so much in the second season. The only thinking stopping it from lock status is the premium cable prices.

Series Ended
House - It was a light year for finales. Thank god this one's over.

Bye Bye
Fringe - I busted my ass to get caught up on this for a girl I liked. Then, when that fizzled. So did my interest in the show. It's good, but not my cup of tea. Probably a summer DVD series.
House of Lies -  I gave it a season. That's enough.
Psych - I watched this from the pilot and have liked each season more than the last. I don't know how I stopped watching, but it happened. Now, it's out of rotation. That's why there's DVDs.

That leaves 31 shows. Ok, not much of an improvement from 36. Next year looks primed for more attrition, I hope.
Oh, and I should add this message for whoever I'm living with: Sorry for hogging the TV. I should really get my own DVR.

Movie Reaction: The Amazing Spiderman

Formula: Kick-Ass + (500) Days of Summer + any other Chloe Mortez movie, actually

Cast: I like Andrew Garfield. He was very good in The Social Network and Never Let Me Go, and frankly, he seems like a likable guy. I think he is a great casting choice for Spider-Man. Perhaps he's a little old if they are keeping him in high school, but whatever. I like Dennis Leary. I like Martin Sheen. I like Rhys Ifans. I like Sally Field. I like Marc Webb. I like (500) Days of Summer maybe a little too much and never once thought he was inherently a bad choice to direct this. Most of all, I like Emma Stone. She's basically my go-to Hollywood gold standard these days. Superbad, The House Bunny, Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, Paperman, Zombieland, Easy A, Crazy, Stupid Love, The Help. I seen almost all of her movies. Many I love. All I think she is great in.

Plot: The Spider-Man story is probably the most interesting of any of Marvel's, especially presenting to mainstream audiences. Nerdy guy becomes superhero. It's a tale of loss, redemption, and duty that is a crowd-pleaser the second it's put into a story board. Ten years ago, Sam Rami broke records and changed the summer movie formula with this franchise. The goodwill built up by that movie and almost all the Marvel movies that followed will surely make this a blockbuster.

Technology: This movie looks good. It looks slick. It has a dark spin that complements the campy brightness of the earlier movies and sets it apart as something completely different. I saw it in 2D, but I'm sure this movie is probably one of the better uses of 3D out there. Everything about it is perfect for 3D with the high flying web crawling and what not.

Elephant in the Room: I feel like there's something you are telling me. There is.

To Sum Things Up:

I haven't disliked an action movie this much since Transformers 2.

I have a known low threshold for movies. In back to back week I saw John Carter and American Reunion and didn't bash either. I saw Battleship and had favorable thoughts toward it. I can't give this movie the same treatment. It is bad. Not the bad where it's so bad that it's good. This is just missing the mark in almost every way and through the sheer force off all the things that should make it great, making its way to the end.

Cast Pt2: Andrew Garfield plays a badass loner Spider-Man who is also a sort of "child of destiny", which is about my least favorite trope of all time. Emma Stone's character is just stupid. She gets some moments out of it because she's fucking Emma Stone and she's great, but her character exists to fawn over supposed nerd, Andrew Garfield, and that's about it. Martin Sheen gets about 10 good lines before dying* it a way that is devoid of any emotion. Sally Field basically plays the mom from Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close without the part at the end where Sandra Bullock proves she's not that dim-witted after all. Dennis Leary is completely wasted. So very very wasted given his proven talents. Rhys Ifans plays a villain who never is given proper motivation for his actions, nor does he even seem to believe his reasons for doing what he does.

*Uncle Ben's death is not a spoiler.

Plot Pt2: My cousin described this as "trying to fit 4 hours of plot into 2" and that is completely correct. Except, most movies do this by shortchanging different plot points, which this did as well. What sets it apart though is how there are moments where I actually believed I'd fallen asleep and missed something. The escalation of the Spider-Man manhunt and the rise of the Lizard as a villain happen out of almost nowhere.

WTF Moments:

-There is a scene with the cranes of New York that had me dying from suppressed laughter. It is the equivalent of in the Care Bears movie, the Care Bears coming together to save the day with kindness. I cannot fathom the reasoning that led to that scene getting the go-ahead.

-Since when do high schoolers 1) have real internships and 2) have internships basically running the floor at major technology companies?

-If I'm noticing continuity errors like Peter having the skateboard, then not, then having it again, that's a bad sign. I'm pretty oblivious to things.

To Sum Things Up Again:

I'm sad I didn't like this movie more. All the pieces were in place for it to be 2nd in a string of superhero movies that would save what has been a pretty blase summer. Instead, this is the movie that will make me appreciate Whedon and Nolan's work this summer. Based on the number of times that I was alone in my chuckling in the theater, I may be alone in my opinions here, but I have no idea how. This was a really misguided and sloppy movie. Even at the "spectacle" or "event" level I find this wanting.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Magic Mike

Formula: Modern Boogie Nights
          The Full Monty + a trainer for the cast members
          1 / Striptease
          The Help + ...ok, no similarities except the gender divide in the audience.

Cast: While the press kits  beg to differ, there's three main characters here: Channing Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, and Cody Horn, and even Pettyfer feels a little underused. I think I've announced this before, but I'm officially a Tatum fan these days. He even makes this role charming. Horn and Pettyfer both reek of shiny-newness. Matthew McConaughey reclaims his role as a fit David Wooderson (not really, but it's fun to claim). Matt Bonner and Joe Manganiello have vastly smaller roles than in the previews (think, Tyra Banks in Cayote Ugly). I think I even saw Gabriel Iglesias in there too (not stripping, thank god). Oh, Olivia Munn's in it. Not a lot though.

Plot: The story really follows a lot of the same notes as Boogie Nights the way it plays out. It's really all good non-wholesome fun. It feels like a pretty rough draft the way it's all played out, and Tatum is the singular focal point in this far more than I expected. In the end, it's hard to be too harsh on this movie, for obvious reasons.

Elephant in the Room: Yeah, that theater was about 95% women and for a reason. I don't think they sated anyone in the theater for the stripping scenes. Let me put it like this. If you see The Avengers, you expect big battle set pieces. If you see Rock of Ages, you expect grand musical numbers. If you The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel...you need a hobby. For movie events like this, the first concern is to give the people what they want. I think it was more concerned with a full narrative, which was actually a pretty good one, but I worry there may be a little backlash from people expecting more.

A Side Note: [Straight] Guys shouldn't be afraid to see it. Sure there's abs and you might have too wait a week to get your girlfriend's expectations down, but there's a healthy supply of bikinis and boobs. There's a little Sodom for everyone in it.

To Sum Things Up:
This falls under the category of guilty pleasure, sure. It's still a more complete movie than I expected and worth seeing. It makes a great double-feature with Brave.


Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend