Lent Rant

Last Easter, I got bored at work (a phrase I should keep a running tally of), and went on a big ole rant about Lent. I don't know why I did this, but with Easter about to come around again, I might as well post it. So, without further delay, her is my multi-part* series I call my Lent Rant.

* Multi-part because I'm not editing through this in one sitting. A could paragraphs a day is about all my laziness can handle.

Part 1: Mardi Gras
Part 2: Ash Wednesday
Part 3: Giving Shit Up
Part 4: No Meat
Part 5: Palm Sunday
Part 6: Holy Thursday
Part 7: Good Friday
Part 8: ...Saturday
Part 9: Easter Sunday
Part 10: The Ascension

(Yeah, I could've cropped the address out, but I wanted to you know I didn't make this myself)

Lent
Growing up Catholic, I have many fond memories of Lent. No, that's not right. Growing up Catholic, I have many memories of being in church. This goes especially for Lent. While I can't practice Catholicism with a straight face (in the same way I could never be energetic enough to be Baptist, straight-laced enough to be Jehovah's Witness, or mystical enough to be Mormon), that faith gets religion. Religion is a test. Constant and unyielding with a promised great payoff, kind of like what a 401k is to retirement, complete with the weekly payments. And, what better way to be tested than being asked to do stupid shit for 40 days?

Mardi Gras
Let's start at the beginning: Ash Wednesday -

No, the REAL beginning: Mardi Gras. It may not be a church sanctioned day, but what's more Catholic than a day of excess and drinking? Catholics are all about loopholes, you see. What better example than Mardi Gras? Leading into our* holiest of times we celebrate excess. Muslims fast and all that for Ramadan. You know what they do the night before Ramada? Neither do I. Catholics? We take advantage of every vice imaginable. I wish we could claim New Orleans, but that would be like Christians claiming Christmas. Sure, we started it, but the secularists ran away with it years ago. That doesn't mean we don't still eat, drink, and party late into the night.

Also, I've noticed for things like this we take an inverted Jewish Sabbath angle. The day doesn't end till sunrise because sunset or midnight is too early to call it quits on something as ragin' as Mardi Gras.

* For the purpose of writing this, and the fact that one can never truly get out, I'll be referring to Catholics as from a participant's perspective. It's allowed because I put in my time.