Delayed Reaction: Manhattan Night

The Pitch: Why don't they make film noirs as much anymore?

A reporter gets caught up in a murder investigation or something...I don't know. I was quite drunk at the time.

I'd like to open with a quick reminder that I like to give from time to time. I think the fact that any movie gets made is a minor miracle. They require dozens of people doing dozens of jobs, hoping that they are all on the same page. I genuinely don't understand how any movie is good, given all the moving pieces that have to come together. Every Reaction I write begins with a base level of respect for any project, and cinema would be very boring if people weren't willing to take big swings that leave them open to big failure.

With that out of the way, Manhattan Night was a slog to get through. It's very bad.

Part of the reason film noir went away is because it got to a point where it became defined by the tropes. It was too easy to parody, even when done well. Manhattan Night is made in an alternate universe where no one was aware that film and TV has parodied film noir tropes for the last 50 years. Adrian Brody's brooding voiceover. The jazzy score. It's like someone was working off a film noir checklist.

I haven't looked up anything about the production of this movie, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was a 20 or 30 year old script that they haphazardly updated. The obligatory mention of Twitter has "get off my lawn" relevance. The movie also does that thing where it gives a character a job that doesn't really exist anymore, but tries to sidestep the implausibility of it by calling them "a dying breed". Brody is an investigative reporter who isn't really concerned with deadlines. I don't remember seeing him write at any point. What paper could employ someone who is given so much leeway? I forget. Did he at least marry into money? That would explain some of this.

OK, I know this came out a year or two before #MeToo, but 2016 is far too late to still be having scenes where a guy spies on a woman showering without her consent and it turns her on. That's something a creep does.

Another funny thing about this movie. It name drops a lot. I particularly enjoyed the line about being in the elevator with Leonardo DiCaprio. How's this for a new rule: You can only name-check someone in your movie if that person would've actually been willing to do a cameo in it if their schedule allowed it. Let's call it the Stuck on You Rule. That movie referenced Meryl Streep a lot, which felt like an overreach. Then, it justified the mentions by actually getting Meryl to appear in a cameo. When Manhattan Night referenced DiCaprio, all it did was remind me of how far below him this movie was.

I suppose, in the movie's defense, I didn't exactly go into it fairly. I knew little about it. I'd just watched an episode of The Handmaid's Tale and felt like finding something else with Yvonne Strahovski in it that I hadn't seen before. I was a few drinks in already and not the most attentive audience. So, I'll say there's a 3% chance that the movie is better than I'm giving it credit for. Eh, maybe 2%. It's really not even worth your time to read this Reaction to it. Sorry to waste your time.

Verdict: Strongly Don't Recommend