Delayed Reaction: Bram Stoker's Dracula

The Pitch: Francis Ford Coppola takes on one history's greatest monsters.

What Took Me So Long: I'm not the biggest fan of Coppola or Bram Stoker's book.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This looks like a Dracula movie. I cannot take that away from it. If one was going to take the book and make a fairly faithful adaptation, this is how you'd hope it would look. Gary Oldman makes a great Dracula. At this point though, doesn't it seem redundant to say "Gary Oldman did a great job"?

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I fell asleep watching this twice. That tells me two things: it was long and it was boring. I don't think it was a bad movie, but sleep doesn't lie. It is also unfortunate that this and Interview with the Vampire came out so close to one another because they are so similar and I'm having difficulty recalling the differences between the two except for the parts that I remember are from the book.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Rio

The Pitch: Like Madagascar but with more birds.

What Took Me So Long: I'm slow to get to animated movies anyway and this looked so derivative of Madagascar.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Had the voice cast been a live action movie, I'd strongly consider seeing it on that alone. Jesse Eisenberg, Anne Hathaway, Leslie Mann, and Rodrigo Santoro are all solid choices. The most pleasant surprise in the movie is how often I actually laughed. I can't say how all the jokes landed on kids but there were more than enough to keep me entertained. It also looks great, which shouldn't surprise me because Blue Sky Studios tends to put out good product (granted, that's almost entirely based on Ice Age). Even the songs were catchy.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It isn't the most imaginative idea, having a domesticated animal go back to his exotic roots. The only thing that really bothered me was when Jermaine Clement's Nigel raps. Just, no. I know it's not to be taken seriously but it's like watching Burger King commercials from the 80s with old people break dancing. I get the joke, but don't want to see it.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: Nebraska

Formula: (Cocoon - magic) * (Blank Check - money)

Why I Saw It: The Academy Award nominations didn't hurt. Beyond that, chatter about Bruce Dern's performance have damn neared reached fever pitch.

Cast: You've gotta love a cast as filled with character actors as this. Bruce Dern is the big takeaway here and he is rightfully who everyone is talking about. I'm afraid I haven't seen him anything else I can recall so I'm having a hard time not thinking "well, they needed a feeble old man so they found a feeble old man for the role". He is good in that he's so pathetic. Will Forte was the real surprise for me, less that he can be this good and more because I never assumed he'd get a role like this. None of the weird SNL entertaining is present. He is restrained and dour. He seems utterly exhausted the whole time, like life has beat him down but there's no point in giving up. June Sqibb is funny. I don't know if I'd go much beyond that. Bob Odenkirk has a small role and let's out a few more of his mannerisms for it. Most of the rest of the actors are familiar faces who I couldn't name if I tried.

Plot: It probably says me about me than anything but I found this movie incredibly depressing. It's a simple story. Woody (Dern) is an occasionally lucid old man who thinks he's won a Publisher's Clearinghouse-type prize and is hell bent on getting to Lincoln, Nebraska to collect his $1,000,000 dollars. David (Forte) is his son who guilts himself into agreeing to take him. On the way, they spend a couple days Hawthorne, Nebraska, where Woody grew up and most of his family still resides. From there, it's about slowly learning about Woody's past and present situation. It turns out, he hasn't kept a lot of friends, or at least no noble ones. It is a dreary picture though. Something about small towns bum me out. Most of the building are empty and everyone there has depressing lives. I'm not sure if it was the intent, but numerous times scenes played like the characters were delivering lines. The cadence of the conversation is so filled with pauses that it was unnatural to listen to. I assume this was intended in the direction but I found it jarring and made me pay closer attention to the screenplay than I should've.

Elephant in the Room: Why is it in black and white? I'm guessing that was a choice made to add to the dour atmosphere of everything. Maybe to save money. I don't know how that part works. I didn't mind it as much as I do with some movies. It made it all feel forgotten which is appropriate for the setting.

To Sum Things Up:
In general, I don't get Alexander Payne. Sideways is a movie that I still struggle to understand. Election is a bleak, darkly funny movie, sure, and The Descendants is well acted even if the story meandered a bit much for my liking. I accept that Nebraska is well made although, as I mentioned, the pacing and delivery of the dialogue bothered me. Dern and Forte put in great performances. I wasn't a big fan of this movie. The subject matter itself and overall tone is so uncomfortable for me, and I didn't take away enough thematically to justify the mood it put me in.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

DVR Purge: 1/21-1/27

 Here's a first. I cannot choose a best episode from this set. Both Community and HIMYM had huge episodes, worthy of mentioning. I've said goodbye to Donald Glover and welcomed Cristin Milioti even more into my heart. It's been up and down to say the least.

Past Purges

The theme of Wednesday night was "Why do I like these people?".

The Middle "The Carpool"There's a lot of times on this show when I realize I couldn't stand Frankie and the Hecks if I actually knew them. This is one of those. They aren't flattering at all about how big of a moocher Frankie is. The resolution especially is lame. It fits with the show though.
Is it me or do they lean on Mike ignoring Sue a lot? It does always have a good payoff. I'll give them that. I like any time when it doesn't end with the world shitting on Sue.
I was taken aback by how overt the middle was with the girl who was using Axl for his brain. That bra move was not an 8:00pm family programming move. That's not a complaint. Just an observation. I don't understand why she would stop studying with him just because he wasn't in the class. He was helping her.

Suburgatory "Victor Ha"
It bums me out when a show is as mean to a character as they are with Lisa. Seeing how much her parents hate her gets diminishing returns. The addition of Victor even proves that it's not her lack of athletic prowess that they hate her for. They just don't like her. That's sad, right?

Modern Family "Three Dinners"
Three stories about three groups of people who don't like each other in different ways. Let's do a dinner at a time.
-The Dunphys: Let's be fair. Claire and Phil have every right to think that Haley needs to get her act together. She's been presented as crafty but not motivated for 4+ seasons. So, it's great and all that she got to prove she's better off than they though. That doesn't put the parents in the wrong though. Comedically, I can't say there was a lot of value from drunk Phil or Claire. They were a little pathetic but not given anything especially funny to do. Finally, turning the tables by pointing out their lack of a plan for the future honestly led me to question why they would even be together when the kids are out of the house. Is there anything else keeping them together.
-The Tucker-Pritchetts: Speaking of a couple that shouldn't be together. They offered absolutely no resolution to this. Cam and Mitchell basically accept that they have nothing to talk about. What was the emotional resolution, that crap about not being able to live their lives without one another. Apparently, familiarity = love. The only thing that was even written for them involved the table next to them which them established them as a couple only because they are both socially inept.
-The Pritchetts: This was by far the least exhausting story. It was still filled with dependency jabs aimed at Gloria and Manny. Again, was there a whole lot here to tell us why Jay and Gloria are still together.
As you can tell, this episode actively angered me more than a bad TV show could. The writers need to decide to either let this be a show about awful people OR have the "we love each other" crap at the end. They haven't been able to pull off both for several seasons now.


Starting Thursday, things got really good again.

Community "Geothermal Escapism"
It's sad to see Donald Glover go. He's been my favorite character for most of the run of the series. Many of the best moments are owed to him as well. He and Dani Pudi are the best on screen duo in comedy, almost unquestionably. Frankly, I've always wondered how long before he became too big for the series to keep and it finally happened.
Troy's farewell was a great one. Harmon found a fresh way to bring back the paintball formula without it feeling desperate. At this point, everyone at Greendale knows what's going on. I'd've bought 90% of the episode even without Abed's prize. The homages were varied but familiar in the way Community does so well. Plenty of good laughs. Impressively built world and mythology. It all played out very quickly since they had to leave plenty of time for Troy to bid farewell. Like Pierce last week, his final goodbye to each character was spot on. I do think this is the first explicit mention of Greendale being in Colorado. I could be wrong about that. I'm not worried about Community from here without him but it will feel a little emptier without Troy.

Parks & Recreation "Farmer's Market"
I like that Ann and Chris have a story with some other characters. They've been in their own world so much of the season and their' stories have suffered for it. I love the idea of the Wine and Cheese club because it's exactly how things would play out in that department. There was a lack of cruelty to Jerry which is refreshing from time to time.
-Executive decision: Parks & Rec. needs to record albums for Mouse Rat and now Johnny Karate. I would buy both and listen to them on my Robyn Sparkles and Zack Attack mix.

The Michael J Fox Show "Sochi"
I was wondering when shows would start getting Olympic tie-ins. This network is all about the synergy. They'd tied it together thematically pretty well.

Parenthood "You've Got Mold"
Ok, I'm done with Adam and Kristina. Cancer, running for Mayor, starting a label, now a school. They live in fantasy land. The rest of the show is appropriately grounded, but I'm just going to accept that one fifth of the show is bonkers. I love the turn in Zeek and Camille's story for example. I'm still invested in Julia and Joel even though I have no idea why he is so determined that it's over. Hank is frustrating with Sarah but in a good way. Even Crosby never being responsible is tired yet entertaining. I'm done with Adam and Kristina. Done.

SNL "Jonah Hill/Whoever sang (I don't know, I fast forwarded through those parts because the band name sounded like a French holiday)"
This was a good episode. I was a little surprised because I don't know what to make of Jonah Hill a lot of the time. His opening monologue was great. Getting Leo was a good coup. It really showed the difference between Hill skill at this vs. Leo, who is a great actor, but looked uncomfortable in the moment like that. Jonah went big a lot and committed to his characters fully. I respect that for any host. The me sketch was the funniest thing in the world although I will always welcome a Superbad reunion.
Some non-Jonah Hill related thoughts: That opening sketch was great. So many of those this season have been lifeless which this wasn't at all. Started things strong with a lot of physical comedy. The Pornstars are back. Yay! They continue to show restraint with how often they do that sketch. I've not been watching SNL regularly for very long. Are there normally this many recurring 12:55 sketches? I always thought that was the graveyard.

How I Met Your Mother "How Your Mother Met Me"
My issues with the episode:
-It should've been an hour.
-It reminded me how much of the Mother's back story they've alluded to.
-It was further proof that Milioti has been criminally underused so far.
As you will notice, all of my complaints are that there wasn't more of this. Few shows get to 200 episodes and it's rare that the writers have a way to may it a guest start-fest. That makes this episode truly unique. The whole episode was reverse-engineered based on all the times the Mother has been mentioned and they did a respectable job linking it all together in a coherent way. That so painfully condensed though. I could've watched an entire episode about each flashback. Hey, and that could've saved us from that episode when they all played poker. Remember how that was a whole god-damned episode? Ok, let's run off a few things that I liked or thought worth mentioning.
-The alt. opening credits were a nice touch.
-I'm not sure what to make of the back story of her boyfriend dying. It is a clever way to explain how such a catch stayed single all this time. Then again, it's a little lazy. This could've been solved had the writers used more than 22 minutes for this. (Sorry, I know I said I wouldn't complain about that again).
-I never expected a Naked Man return. It fit perfectly.
-Good news: Rachel Bilson is back. Better news: girl kiss. Best news: It was with the mother.
-I love the list of things in her room, especially the calligraphy set.
-They mentioned Puzzles! I am so happy I just finished rewatching the first 5 seasons.
-Has the Mother's friend been in any episodes as one of Barney's conquests? They mention the genie episode. I'm too lazy to go back and check.
-You do not cast Cristin Milioti and not have her sing. Good job, HIMYM for realizing that.
-And, how could I forget? I love the touch of there being an alternate Maclaren's.


Archer "Archer Vice: A Debt of Honor"
This episode felt really short. I'm still a little torn about the season structure. In the first three episodes, there's yet to be one that meets the material's potential. I'm probably being impatient. It looks like the Archer Vice moniker is sticking. I wonder if that's going to be a one season trend.

Delayed Reaction: The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!

The Pitch: A cop parody starring Leslie Neilsen.*

*There's not much to the pitch. It's all in the execution.

What Took Me So Long: I don't know. Maybe the fact that there being three of them scared me away as a time investment.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) It's rare to find a comedy that holds up as well as this one and stays as well regarded. Having seen it now, I understand why. It is loopy as hell and some jokes are a bit dated (I didn't recognize a lot of the anti-American leaders at the beginning, for example). Then there's things that weren't funny at the time, but are now (I'm looking at you, O.J. Simpson). It is so dense with jokes that I know, like Airplane, if I rewatch it, there will be plenty of news ones to catch.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Outside of movies like this serving as an inspiration for what became Meet the Spartans and other movies that ruined parodies in the 2000s, I can't find anything to fault it. I would happily trade no Naked Gun Trilogy for no Superhero Movie though.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: White Chicks

The Pitch: The Wayans' brothers play white women.

What Took Me So Long: I'm pretty turned off by their brand of humor. Scary Movie rubbed me very much the wrong way.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This is one of those movies that won't die. I mean that in a good way. It was a funny premise when it came out and it continues to be. There's still nothing I can think of that is quite like it. This was Shawn and Marlon working at their comedic best. I know the dance off and singing Vanessa Carlton in the car are two scenes that I've heard mentioned time and time again by people. I also enjoy all the "before I knew them" sightings of people like Jennifer Carpenter, Anne Dudek, and Brittany Daniel.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Even at their best, I don't find the Wayans brothers especially funny. There's a couple chuckle-worthy moments but it's not my style.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Last Emperor

The Pitch: Remember how China used to have emperors. How did that end?

What Took Me So Long: This is one of those Oscar winning best pictures that fell of the grid pretty quickly.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) It is a best picture winner. I know that's not a perfect way to identify a great movie but it normally indicates a good one. This movie was interesting, not entertaining. I kept being reminded of Slumdog Millionaire by the number of scenes that were meant for "they really lived like that" purposes and it felt a little exploitative in that way. I did find it to be a fascinating story from Pu Yi living as a child emperor in his palace to realizing he was essentially trapped in there, eventually living like a regular person. It's like imagining if the British Royal family stopped being taken care of. Very strange.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: There's a very calculated pace to this and that pace is decidedly slow. For me, at least, the more interesting parts of the movie are at the beginning in the palace. By the time he is in exile, I don't care all that much about him. I'm not sure what else came out in 1987, but there has to be a better movie.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Jackal

The Pitch: Take the protagonists from The Rock and have them hunt down a mix between Leon and Keyser Soze.

What Took Me So Long: I couldn't've picked this movie out of a lineup of similar movies if I tried.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) The opening credits were good. I don't mean that to sound like an insult. Going into this movie as a blank slate, the opening credits got me excited to watch some sort of cool spy movie.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: What I got was a pretty tepid mix of The Rock and Blown Away. I'm not huge on Richard Gere and this did nothing to change that opinion. Bruce Willis is a pretty bland villain as well. The only thing notable about this movie is that it is currently Sidney Poitier's final film appearance which is a piss-poor way to go. I wish I could say more about it, but other than the odd scene in which Willis kills the weapons expert played by Jack Black which is more warped than interesting, I'm having a hard time taking anything away from this movie.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

The Pitch: Alvin and the Chipmunks WITH MORE CHIPMUNKS

What Took Me So Long: The Chipettes singing "All the Single Ladies" was on loop when I worked at Target when it came out on DVD effectively killed my desire to want to see this for a long time.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I need to get over petty squabbles. I like Zachary Levi, basically playing Chuck Bartowkski had he never found the Intersect. I've heard David Cross talk about how he likes doing this movies because he makes bank, so I can forgive him for the role due to his honesty. Uhhh...

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I've never understood people's love of the chipmunks singing so, like the first movie, this was a practice in futility for me. The story works at a complexity that a child can understand and little more. It was around the time that I watched this movie during which I realized this biggest flaw in my Club 50 project is that most of the newer movies I haven't seen are kids' movies, understandably, that are not very accessible to me these days. In short, sorry for all this whining about watching crappy animated movies.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

DVR Purge: 1/16-1/20

One of these days I need to break down the nights of comedy. For years, I've held Thursday to be an untouchable gold standard for comedy nights based on the strength of the 30 Rock, Parks & Recreation, and Community triple threat with Big Bang Theory, The Office, It's Always Sunny, and Archer in the reserves. You'll notice many of those have moved or ended and Tuesday is getting stronger with the Fox lineup (minus Dads), Trophy Wife, and Cougar Town. The power couple that is the NBC 8 o'clock hour has yet to flinch though.

Past Purges

Community "Cooperative Polygraphy"
This episode had all the good things. One could fear that another redux episode only a couple weeks after "Repilot" would be Harmon trying to recycle his bag of tricks but the episode was more of a breath of fresh air, surprisingly. It's been a while since the study group has had a good talk and that's all this less meta bottle episode is. Best of all, Harmon essentially got to write Pierce off the show on his terms, using a perfectly cast Walton Goggins as a proxy. This had everything I could hope for: an efficiently-used Chang, a joke about The Grey, an underwhelming origin story for Troy and Abed's double slap, a well placed Winger speech, and the line "Are you mad at me or hungry?". Best of all, it sent Pierce off as well as I could've hoped. His gifts so cleverly chosen. The sperm is a hilarious through-line for it all. They callback to Annie turning down the tiara which was sweet. He got to be nice to Britta and made good on the promise in "The Art of Discourse", getting that used Ipod. Best of all, they come up with a way to get Troy to leave the show that doesn't feel forced. If I write anymore about this, it's going to turn into me quoting half the episode.

Parks and Rec "New Beginnings"
Leslie realizing she is bigger than the Parks & Rec. department was a second week in a row at hinting that she's on her way to something big was nice and Ben being nervous, bad at lying, and afraid of cops was a reminder of how damn good Adam Scott is. But I want to talk about that closing tag. Amazing! Pretty much a flawless execution of a joke. You think the scene is going to be about Ron's speech to Leslie, then they slide in his Employee of the month. Cut to panicked eyes, in the workshop systematically destroying the plaque, and closing with him burying it on the Illinois border. One of the strongest closing segments I've seen on any show in a while.

The Michael J Fox Show "Couples"
I hate dropping shows before the season has ended. I'm getting close though. I respect Michael J Fox and think Betsy Brandt is doing everything she can to make this work. Juliette Goglia (Eve) clearly is talented and I can see her popping up again with greater success. Wendell Pierce (Harris) doesn't fit but holds his own and Katie Finneran (Leigh) is game for anything. Conor Romero (Ian) and Jack Gore (Graham) are not my favorite things about the show but I wouldn't call them a drag. In the end, I don't find this show funny. The plots are so completely worn and unoriginal. For example, who didn't see every beat of Mike's story coming from the moment they decided to have dinner with Mike's new friend and his wife. I know I watch more than the average amount of TV, but I don't think it's a special insight to see that coming. I've stuck with it this long though. What's a couple more months? It's not like it has any hope of being renewed.

Parenthood "Jump Ball"
As always, let's break this down a little:
-Kristina and Adam: It was funny, depressing, and just plain odd listening to them talk almost hopefully about Hank possibly having Aspergers.
-Amber & Sarah: Not much for Sarah to do this week and Amber fell fast and hard. I'd add the word "too" to that description, but Mae Whitman plays sad so well that you almost welcome it.
-Crosby: Unless I forgot, not Jasmine or the kids  this week. Crosby is limited to the poker game story and mostly as a sounding board. I found David Walton's cameo fun. He is playing his character from the upcoming About a Boy series.
-Zeek and Camille: I'm officially fed up with Camille. I get that Zeek is not easy to deal with. He's stubborn too. She is being awful to him though. They need to she a little more from her end soon because the perception is wildly out of balance right now.
-Julia and Joel: A good amount of this arc has always felt forced to me. This is not a sad show. I hope that they lead to a reconciliation soon. I'm not sure I could deal with this as a season long thing.

SNL "Drake"
I should've assumed Drake would be a good host. I know very little about Drake, but I expected he'd be more standoffish about his past but he welcomed that immediately noting Degrassi almost immediately and making a sketch out of his Black Jewish Canadian-ness. Overall, he was a very strong host with a somewhat weak batch of sketches. I may be in the minority here, but I rather enjoyed the Indiana Jones Experience sketch. It was repetitive in a way that went from funny, to annoying, then back to funny.

HIMYM "Unpause"
Amazing. Time and time again this season has proven that there is a very simple formula to a good episode in this final year.
First, of course is the Mother. She was in the episode, which also gave of the name of his kids (Luke and Penny. Both clever choices), and I liked that.
Second, it's remembered what it was. Ther'e s a lot of history to this episode. The eponymous "unpause" is a well they've dipped into already. This is the first mention of San Francisco in years and it's obvious the writers have been sitting on it for a while. Truth Barney was all about closure for numerous running gags, most specifically, his job. I was deeply impressed with the touch about his boss. It always bothered me that they had the same guy as his boss and the guy who stole his girlfriend. I'm so glad they cleared that up. And, a surprisingly noble turn for Mr. Stinson three months from now.
Third, is allowing some emotion into the episode. Lily and Marshall end on an outright sad note and Barney's confession was all heart. I appreciate when a show, even a comedy, isn't afraid to shy away from that.

Archer "Archer Vice: A Kiss While Dying"
The last episode effectively laid to rest the old status quo. This episode established the new one. It'll be an interesting one. It's hard examining a show this silly too closely so I'll give it a few episodes before I start questioning why everyone is still together. Also, thankfully Lana is still voicing [toothless] opposition to the drug dealing path.

Brooklyn Nine Nine "The Ebony Falcon"
I liked the pairing of Peralta and Jeffords. That one was new and gave Terry Crews a refreshing amount to do. Gina annoyed me a bit which is unfortunate because most weeks she's sort of an unexpected treat. I'm curious how much longer both Hitchcock and Scully can last. Unless they because a pair to be used on the side, there's only room for one "Jerry" in the station.

New Girl "Birthday"
The surprise party plan was mind-bogglingly more complex than I think they could actually pull off. Aside from that and Jess veering dangerously into "adorkable" territory, there was a lot to love about the episode. The birthday video alone would earn it a passing grade. Then there's Nick trying to fill a day with interesting activities which he is super not built for and Ben Falcone as an angry bartender who better be a recurring character.

The Mindy Project "The Desert"
I'm about the logistics of this episode. Why are Mindy and Danny still in L.A. but the others returned? Where is Jeremy in all this? Are there long term plans for Glenn Howerton? I'll admit, I was fighting sleep while watching this, so I'll assume I missed the answers to the things that confused me.

Trophy Wife "The Tooth Fairy"
Warren has some Sue Heck in him, doesn't he? I found Kate a little more annoying in this mode. I like it a little more when she's trying to be a parent than when she is proving that she's still up to date on youth culture. I was very pleased with Hillary and Diane's story though. As someone who never had a rebellious phase in high school, I could relate to the resolution. Hillary has no issue with Diane but the two understand that they need their space. It wasn't the hijinks-fueled story that it would be on a lot of other shows.

Cougar Town "Depending on You"
I'm not going to lie. I fell asleep watching this. I'll be rewatching this later in the week. I want to get this purge out now. It was a good episode from what I recall. Not a standout. Not a train wreck. Tom's model replicas were a funny gag.

Delayed Reaction: Lilo and Stitch

The Pitch: A little girl gets [what she thinks is] a dog that sounds an awful lot like Nibbler from Futurama.

No, I don't want to suggest that Disney relied too much on past successes for this one, but...

What Took Me So Long: I always looked at this movie as the symbolic end of the Disney Renaissance.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Even bad Disney is pretty good, right? I was testing that theory. I like that Disney is willing to get a little weird. Most of the Disney tropes are there: one or fewer parents, unlikely friendship, comedic villains to offset the tension.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Maybe this was too out there. It lacks a timeless, epic, or relatable quality to it, and some mix of that is needed. I think the hope was that more people would really love Stitch. He was more odd than lovable though. I don't know. The quality just wasn't there. The Lion King feels like a movie. This feels like a long episode of one of their animated series.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Nine

The Pitch: Remember how Chicago won all those Oscars? Ok, now add Daniel Day Lewis.

What Took Me So Long: Given the cast and director, I got scared when I didn't hear better reviews for it.

Why I Saw It: Daniel Day Lewis singing and dancing with a cast full of attractive women singing and dancing. For fans of singing and dancing, it hits a sweet spot. I still haven't seen 8 1/2 so I figured this would motivate me to see that finally. I have seen an Opera production of this (technically of 8 1/2 but they're similar enough) so I can finally say "I liked the Opera better" in a discussion of a movie. Check that off the bucket list.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I wasn't terribly impressed by the musical numbers and it doesn't add a lot to the original story, so it comes off as a less inspired remake. Simply put, it's a movie that does just enough to make me not hate it.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Philomena

Formula: Juno ^ -1
(and by that, I mean it is virtually the opposite of Juno but it's the only movie I could immediately think of that had a teen mother)

Why I Saw It:The Oscar nominations.

Cast: It's a pretty small cast we are dealing with. Judi Dench is unexpectedly great. I did not expect much from this character but Philomena is a complex character. There are times when she is completely overwhelmed, others when she is fully in control. She old fashioned and thoroughly modern. She's funny. She's heartbreaking. She's just about everything in the movie. It is a great role for her. Steve Coogan is one of those people I know very well even though I've seen little that he's been in. I know that sarcasm and patronizing is kind of his default and he keeps it under control well. He is a cynic who isn't content to accept the shit in the world and the movie consistently chooses against the natural "let him be an asshole" moves.

Plot: It's based on a true story and it's one of those where 5% is true or 95% is true. I'm not sure which is the case, not do I care to. Coogan's character, Martin, is a shamed journalist who decides to do a human interest piece about Philomena (Dench), a woman who was basically sold into servitude to an abbey and who's baby was adopted against her wishes 50 years ago. The story follows them as they track her son down, get pullback from the church, and learn about who he is. There's some twists in there that I'd rather you find out on your own. Several times, it decides to not give into the common trappings of a story like this. It's a very simple movie though. It's a very tight script that zips through everything without shortchanging anything or sitting on anything long enough to make it tedious.

Elephant in the Room: It doesn't sound that favorable of the church? That's the cool thing about the script. It doesn't give the nuns in the Abbey a pass nor does it be a Dan Brown-esque conspiracy. Philomena repeatedly defends the nuns and there's nearly a tone of blaming the times as much as the church. They were a product of each other. When I heard what the movie was about, I expected an angry movie and that is not what this is. It's more about finding peace in what has happened and making it right (or coming as close as possible).

To Sum Things Up:
This is a smart movie that delivers exactly what it promises and doesn't try to do too much with it. It tugs at the heart strings a few times, never in a manipulative way. Dench's performance is understated in a way that many people will overlook. Coogan doesn't get in the way of anything which is exactly what he needs to be. In an awards season marked by a lot of ambitious movie that try to do too much, it's nice to see something that succeeds in not being any bigger than the story needs.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Elsewhere

The Pitch: Anna Kendrick battles internet stalkers.

What Took Me So Long: Anna Kendrick is not enough of a selling point to make me rush to see a movie.

Why I Saw It: And yet, she is apparently enough to get me to eventually see a movie. Let us not kid ourselves, the only reason to see this is because you are like "Anna Kendrick is in that? What's it about? Oh, it doesn't matter, I'll watch it anyway". It delivers on the promises of the synopsis. It is a "scary" movie. There's a lot of scenes at night. Really quiet scenes that throw in loud noises to surprise the viewer. A lot of fast cuts. Characters who are pretty obviously sociopaths that everyone in the small town thinks are "perfectly normal".

Why I Wish I Hadn't: As you can tell, I wasn't impressed. It is a middling entry into the overstuffed horror/thriller genre, perfectly befitting of a young actress before her breakout role (I think this came out sometime between Twilight and Up in the Air).

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Lost and Delirious

The Pitch: "We've got Piper Perabo and Jassica Pare on board to play lesbian lovers..." I think that's as far as anyone has ever needed to go.

What Took Me So Long: Beyond they obvious selling point, I'd never heard anything about if it is any good.

Why I Saw It: With a plot that sounds closer to Lesbian Spank Inferno than Boys Don't Cry, I won't pretend this was a fully art-driven decision. Paren, Perabo, and a young Micha Barton is a solid nucleus for an indie movie and the young versions of all of them played it pretty well.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I do call this an indie movie in a somewhat derogatory sense. On one level, there is a very basic plot of scorned love which is a staple of high school dramas. There seems to be disproportionately more boarding schools depicting in movies than there are in life which is a lazy way to avoid developing parents. There's a lot of bird imagery in this. I think that's meant to make it deep, but I don't think they ever develop why it's there. I'm sure the script must've come off as more meaningful, but the final product is pretty forgettable.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

DVR Purge: 1/11-1/15

Here I was, ready to make a joke about Brooklyn Nine Nine winning the Golden Globe for best comedy series and not following up with a great episode. But wait, they did. Another strong episode from the best of the freshman comedies.

Past Purges

HIMYM "Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmarra"
Look, I like NPH playing panicky as much as the next guy but I wish they'd find a new angle for him leading into a slap. Boys 2 Men was a nice touch for this one though. And, I like whenever they bring back guest stars for 3 second scenes in the hallway of what appears to be the same apartment building.

Archer "White Elephant"
Now that I think of it, there's no reason to think that ISIS was ever being run on the up and up. The montage at the end was strange but exciting and I found Carol song quite catchy. I'm not sure how I feel about the role reversal involved with selling the white elephant though. As horrible as ISIS was, it at least structured the protagonists as good guys. That isn't all that important to the fabric of the series but the cartel game is generally reserved for non-heroes. Eh, we'll see how it goes.

Agents of SHIELD "Seeds"
This was a very long episode. I know the runtime is the same. It sure felt longer though. A lot of parts to it. The school rivalry was funny. They better pay that off with a trip to Operations some time. The school system is quite robust. I hope SHIELD isn't supposed to still be a well kept secret because it is impossible to be covert with that many students involved. Also, I like that Fitz and Simmons are legends there. The show leans on the "scrappy group of rejects" angle a little too often so it's good to be reminded that our leads are some of the best available people.

Brooklyn Nine Nine "The Bet"
My first instinct is to groan when it was apparent this would be about Peralta and Santiago's unresolved feelings because "will they/won't they"s are uniformly annoying. I didn't mind it so much though. 1) I know it is inevitable and it's way more fun to be a 'shipper than a oh-god-no-er. 2) They played this very well. Both characters were more likable when on the stake-out. Just about everything with Boyle was hilarious from sharing the honor with a horse to the truth bombs. Even his confession to Diaz was sweet and great for understanding his character. And, let me not forget Holt faking a text. That is worth watching again.

New Girl "Basketball"
"I can think of five other reasons I'd want to be your friend. Boob Boob Vagina Butt Cheek Butt Cheek." That is all.
...
Ok, no it isn't but you get my point. Strong episode for everyone. Nick and Jess got to be weird. They found a way to make me not hate Schmidt being at work. I loved the clues that Winston should be a cop included wanting to get donuts in the morning. Cece even got to be comfortably fit into the episode with this new job at the bar.

The Mindy Project "L.A."
I won't bother dissecting the plot points here because it involves me going down a very negative rabbit hole instead...
"I watched lacrosse and i liked it."
"Everyone here is like a minimum of two different races."
Kevin Smith alert!
Don't make me examine it any closer than that such as the absolutely contrived way they ended her relationship.

Trophy Wife "The Punisher"
I was about to credit them for the best use of Natalie Morales yet, then she disappeared after the first act. Such a waste! I'd also love to see a few more clues as to what Pete saw in his ex-wives.

Cougar Town "Like a Diamond"
That was a kind of disappointing use of Matthew Perry. Granted, I loathe stories based on escalating lies, so if the laugh when it all falls apart isn't an exceptional one, I'm going to be irritated by it as a whole.

The Middle "War of the Hecks"
Sue fighting back. Awesome! It has been too long since we got an episode of sibling building for the older Heck children and this was the best one I can remember.

Suburgatory "No Me Gusta, Miami"
Dare I say that that was a lazily quick fix to not having Malin Akerman around? I'm going to forgive it though because this episode also gave me Dahlia's twerking lawyers which I approve of.

Modern Family "Under Pressure"
-That was a waste of a Jesse Eisenberg guest star. When Modern Family relies on contrivance, it normally is at least building to something big and broad. This wasn't even that. Mitchell spills some bio fuel and there's some packing peanuts*. That's lazy by even Modern Family standards.
-Krakowski vs. Vergara needs to happen as often as the producers can arrange it.
-Jay and Phil as students is an easy but effective gag.
-No way around it. Alex's therapy session was just plain bad. Ariel Winters does a good job and I don't question the sincerity of the scene. It is too much of a buzz-kill for the show surrounding it, forced the escalation of her stress too abruptly and quickly, and was such a transparent play for an emotional beat that it completely turned me off.
The more I think about this episode, the less I like it.

*What possible reason did they have for taking the doll house out of the box before they got inside?

Movie Reaction: Lone Survivor

Formula: Black Hawk Down / Act of Valor

Why I Saw It: I couldn't let Battleship leave me on a sour note with Pete Berg.

Cast: Basically, this is a cast full of actors I'd like to see do more that I liked. Ok, maybe I see enough of Mark Wahlberg. This is in his wheelhouse though and I'll credit him for playing it better than in something like Planet of the Apes. Taylor Kitsch had a pretty disastrous 2012 so hopefully this will remind studios to give him another chance. Ben Foster reappears for the first time in what feels like years. Even Emile Hirsch who I am always ready to hate but can't follow through to does a good job. That's the core group and they look like Marines and act like Marines. Sadly, none of them are given a great deal of depth. Eric Bana, Alexander Ludwig, Jerry Ferrara, and a bunch of "other that guy"s have some smaller roles as well.

Plot: Four marines go on a mission to kill a Taliban leader. Things go awry. They try to survive long enough to be rescued. There's maybe a half hour of setup and the remainder of the movie is one extended battle sequence which I found to be a quite accomplished one. It was a chaotic mess which I think is the intent. I'd be afraid to here the death count because I'm sure they went a little crazy with the Marine sharpshooting effectiveness. The Taliban also had a surprisingly extensive supply of explosives, but all in all, I found it to be a satisfy sustained sequence. Toward the end, the survivor comes into contact with an anti-Taliban Afghan village with is a great move because a movie like this runs the risk of equating the two (Talinan/Afghan) as the same. I was actually quite moved by the scenes in that village at the end. It was cheap emotion, but they got me with it.

Elephant in the Room: America! Fuck Yeah! I'm sick of deification of the troops. It gets jingoistic very quickly and general leaves us with really boring characters. I've seen much worse cases of this, but the movie is book-ended by some major "Yay military" stuff which makes this feel like more of a love letter, than a movie. I appreciate that it skirts the political stuff since it is mostly an action movie, but the whole thing is pretty hollow. There's not a lot too it. They are killing a bad guy because that's their mission. That's it. It's pretty meaningless the way it is portrayed.

Movie Theater LVP (Least Valuable Patron) Award: I'd like to award this to the two old men sitting behind me who laughed every time a Tal-ee-ban got shot in the head. That repeatedly ruined the tone of the movie for me. This isn't The Expendables. Act like idiots at home.

To Sum Things Up:
I think enjoying this movie depends greatly on what you expected to get out of it. Luckily, I went in hoping for a good, tight action movie and that's what I got. I cannot stress enough, on a technical level, this is very well done. If you are looking for anything thematic to hold onto, you'll be sore out of luck. You'll leave the movie saying "what was the point of that?". Here's a good comparison. Imagine if Saving Private Ryan ended after the Normandy invasion.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: Her

Formula: 1 / (Being John Malkovich * Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

Why I Saw It: This movie could not be buzzier if it tried.

Cast: Joaquin Phoenix is the rock of this movie. It succeeds or fails based on his performance. It should surprise no one that he nails it. It is a nearly flawless performance that is all the more impressive when you consider what he did in The Master last year. Half of his performance is reacting to a voice for crying out loud! Wow. Scarlett Johansson (or more specifically, her voice) is due the praise she is receiving as well. I don't know if I'm on the "get her an Oscar nomination" bandwagon but I'm not obtuse enough to think that just anyone could do what she does in this and come of as authentic and nuanced. Amy Adams (again, this should surprise no one) does a fine job in a limited role. They call Rooney Mara in to, similar to The Social Network, call the lead on his shit. Olivia Wilde and Chris Pratt show up. Neither do enough to warrant more than that mention but I like them both, so I want to bring it up.

Plot: You know, everything I've been hearing about this movie is how different it is. The thing is, it's really not. The story is a classic boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, and they learn how to make their differences work in the relationship. There's nothing new to that. The fact that the girl is an operating system simply makes the allegory (if you will) more apparent. Beyond the OS girlfriend element, it is as straightforward and emotional as it gets. I applaud Spike Jonze for finding this spin on it and doing in a way that doesn't feel at all forced. A lot of it is kind of eerie for how much of a forgone conclusion that world is (personalhandwrittenletters.com, fully voice activated operating systems, etc.). Then again, despite how impersonal the future looks in the movie, there's a lot of room for interaction and how it can never completely be gone from society.

Elephant in the Room: So, the future is filled with beautiful people? Ok, there's certainly bigger elephants to address like how Samantha is selectively efficient or if relationships with an Operating System would really be as socially accepted as the movie suggests. But, I'm being lazy and would like to point out that Phoenix is divorcing Rooney Mara, goes on a data with Olivia Wilde, is best friends with Amy Adams, and has Scarlett Johansson as the voice for his OS. For an antisocial dude, he is doing quite well for himself.

To Sum Things Up:
This movie is not quite like any other you will see this year. It is funny, heartbreaking, thought-provoking, and sweet. There's not many writers/directors out there that can keep something this high-concept so grounded. The concept of the film is enough to deter a lot of people (their loss) but if you've found yourself a fan of anything in the Spike Jonze (or even Charlie Kaufman) oeuvre, it is a completely worthwhile experience.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: Inside Llewyn Davis

Formula: (Not Fade Away - 10 Years) ^ O Brother, Where Art Thou?
 

Why I Saw It: I like the setting, cast, directors, and music. Thus, this was a no brainer.

Cast: Oscar Isaac is one of those guys I've seen before but I'd have to check his IMDB page to remember what and I'd still confuse him a couple times for Jake Johnson or David Krumholtz. My ignorance aside, he's dazzling as Llewyn Davis. He's a complete fuck-up yet I was rooting for him the whole way through. I was afraid he was cast because he can sing and the Coen's would make due with the acting. If anything, it's the opposite. I don't want to imply he wasn't melodic and heartfelt with his singing. He's good at both. Carey Mulligan is a scene stealer and it's nice seeing her in something more comedic. Justin Timberlake, let's be honest is there because he can sing, but his character, a super nice, happy guy, is what he plays best. John Goodman is entertaining in his couple of scenes in the middle. Adam Driver has the funniest scene in the movie. This is Oscar Isaac's movie with a bunch of small parts fulling out the rest of it.

Plot: I'll be the first to admit that I don't always get the Coen brothers. Sometimes it's easy, like Big Lebowski or True Grit. Other times, it's more opaque, like A Serious Man or Barton Fink. Obviously, the best comparison to this would be O Brother, Where Art Thou?. The story is nothing more than following Llewyn around for a couple days in the twilight of his time as a professional musician. His life is the result of a series of bad breaks, bad decisions, and bad timing. He's miserable any time he isn't singing, and when he sings, well, that's a treat for us all. The reason I bring up not always "getting" Coen brothers movies is because the movie ends and I thought that the movie is about 20 different things and I'm not such which, if any, are correct. This is a good thing, I think. I don't know. It worked for me.

Elephant in the Room: What about the singing? I may get the soundtrack. That should say enough. All or most of the songs are original (I think? The fact that I'm not sure is also a good sign). Isaac sounds just like a 60s folk singer should. Justin Timberlake we know can sing. It shouldn't surprise me that Carey Mulligan can sing given who she is married to and the fact that's she's perfect. Speaking of her husband, musical consultant is rarely credit I pay attention to but this is one where it matters. The names Marcus Mumford and T-Bone Burnett immediately jump out. The one being the Mumford you've heard of before and the other basically being a super producer who I've learned to trust. IMDB him.

To Sum Things Up:
It's a shame I already made my top ten list for 2013 because I would've found room for this. It isn't story dependent so much as atmospheric and I love the atmosphere of the movie. The singing is wonderful. The acting is spot-on. It's funny. It's sad. It's got a cat. It's certainly a movie I'm anxious to see again. I can see how the movie could come off a little...sparse for some. I assume that the fan base of this will be small but vocal.

Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Imposter

The Pitch: A documentary about a con-man who get to America pretending to be a missing child.

What Took Me So Long: I didn't realize it was on Netflix. Otherwise, I'd've watched it sooner.

Why I Saw It: I heard it mentioned in different places as a good, recent documentary so I decided to give it a try. It follows the story of European con-artist who regularly impersonates children and how in 1997, he duped US and European authorities pretending to be a missing child from Texas. He is even accepted by the boy's family despite having a European accent, being significantly older, and not looking all that much like him. It's a pretty unbelievable story and plays as much like a thriller as any movie I've seen. This was completely an unexpected delight.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It would be nice for the story to have a little more resolution but that's part of the fun of it. I cannot find a downside to this unless you simply hate watching documentaries.

Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

Movie Reaction: August: Osage County

Formula: (The Divine Secret of the Ya Ya Sisterhood - Flashbacks) ^ nth

Why I Saw It: Strong and eclectic cast. Likely to be in the thick of Oscar night.

Cast: This is not a cast I'd've expected to see together. Meryl Streep tops it off. Unsurprisingly, she gives another performance as the family's crazy matriarch that would propel her to "Oscar front runner" if not for the three trophies she already has and a perception that three is enough for now. Julia Roberts plays Streep's oldest daughter. She reminded me why she has an Oscar too. I've see too many Eat, Pray, Loves and Larry Crownes from her lately and this is a nice reminder. Juliet Lewis and Julianne Nicholson nearly match Roberts (Nicholson especially) as the other sisters. Margo Martindale is stellar. Chris Cooper is entertainingly bumbling. Ewan McGreggor is underserved. Dermot Mulroney is sleazy (intentionally). Uh, Abigail Breslin plays a 14 year old. Maybe the character in the play is that age, but Breslin is not believably only 14 years old in this. Maybe that' just me. No, my only casting issue is Bededict Cumberbatch. Perhaps I've seen him as British too often, or maybe his accent is that bad, but I was uncomfortable every second he was on the screen, especially when he spoke. He's normally great. Not for me this time however.

Plot: Basically, it a week or some with a dysfunctional family who all comes together when the patriarch of the family goes missing. Very quickly, you realize that each and every one of them has a completely fucked up life. There's divorces, infidelity, other weird sex stuff, lying, cheating. You name it and someone in that family is going or has gone through it. The movie moves from one set piece and dramatic reveal to the next. The most impressive thing about it is how well it switches between comedy and drama. Within a minute, the audience in my theater went from laughing to completely hushed and it didn't feel forced.

Elephant in the Room: This was originally a play, right? Apparently, the play by the same name is a rather famous one in theater circles and I can see why. There's a lot of meaty parts and pretty dialogue. What works in a play though, is not always what works in a movie (hence adapted screenplay). Too often I felt like I was watching a play and didn't get a feeling like a lot of effort was made to use the differences of cinema to its advantage. One of my pet peeves is when people are painted as being plain, then delivering eloquent speeches. It doesn't ring true to me and this falls victim to that.

To Sum Things Up:
The acting is top notch and it is a funny movie, which I didn't expect. It has a very limited setting and it is hard to buy all of them having such crappy lives that are all as interesting as they are and all coming out in rapid-fire succession. I won't imply that it was bad by any means, but I was hoping for something that was a little more organic and less of a showcase.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Golden Globe Predictions

The Golden Globes are silly. I, and everyone else doing a cursory observation of the Globes knows this. It is impossible to not see that they mean basically nothing. The only use for a Golden Globe is when something gets mistakenly ignored by the Oscars and Emmys, so now House can be called an Award winning performance. Even then, it sounds more like "People's Choice winner" than anything legitimate.
It amazing this ceremony is as big as it is considering how undisciplined it all is. I at least know how Emmys are picked and voted on. The Globes are both a mystery and completely predictable. On the TV end, they love shiny, young, and new, hence Kevin Spacey (shiny - aka movie star on TV), Hayden Panettiere's second nomination for Nashville (young), and Brooklyn Nine-Nine's comedy nomination (new). There's no pattern to winners other than they don't tend to repeat. Beyond that, it is basically a guessing game, complete with dart board and blindfold.
Now that I've gone through my obligatory "Why the Golden Globes are useless"* speech, time for me to make some picks.
*Except for Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosting. I would always watch that.

Movie - Drama
12 Years a Slave
Captain Phillips
Gravity
Philomena
Rush
Seen 4/5 - I'm picking Gravity because I think 12 Years a Slave bums the HFPA out too much and the others are "also rans".

Movie - Comedy
American Hustle
Her
Inside Llewyn Davis
Nebraska
The Wolf of Wall Street
Seen 2/5 - American Hustle. Wolf is too polarizing and I don't know enough about the others.

Actor - Drama
Chiwetel Ejiofor - 12 Years a Slave
Idris Elba - Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Tom Hanks - Captain Phillips
Matthew McConaughey - Dallas Buyers Club
Robert Redford - All is Lost
Seen 3/5 - Chiwetel Ejiofor. It's too hard to come up with a strong reason for any pick over another. They are all so good.

Actress - Drama
Cate Blanchett - Blue Jasmine
Sandra Bullock - Gravity
Judi Dench - Philomena
Emma Thompson - Saving Mr. Banks
Kate Winslet - Labor Day
Seen 3/5. Emma Thompson. They like her, right? I think Bullock will be overlooked as a technical achievement. Labor Day and Philomena are too low profile to prop up their nominees. And, I don't know, do the Globes like Woody Allen as much as the Oscars?

Actor - Comedy
Christian Bale -American Hustle
Bruce Dern - Nebraska
Leonardo DiCaprio - The Wolf of Wall Street
Oscar Isaac - Inside Llewyn Davis
Joaquin Phoenix - Her
Seen 2/5 - Leonardo DiCaprio. It's a very big performance.

Actress - Comedy
Amy Adams - American Hustle
Julie Delpy - Before Midnight
Greta Gerwig - Frances Ha
Julia Louise-Dreyfus - Enough Said
Meryl Streep - August: Osage County
Seen 3/5 - Amy Adams. Just because I like Amy Adams, Streep is old news, Delpy has a history of being ignored, and Gerwig is too low profile.

Supporting Actor
Barkhad Abdi - Captain Phillips
Daniel Bruhl - Rush
Bradley Cooper - American Hustle
Michael Fassbender - 12 Years a Slave
Jared Leto - Dallas Buyers Club
Seen 5/5 - Jared Leto. It's the biggest transformation and I see that being rewarded.

Supporting Actress
Sally Hawkins - Blue Jasmine
Jennifer Lawrence - American Hustle
Lupita Nyong'o - 12 Years a Slave
Julia Roberts - August: Osage County
June Squibb - Nebraska
Seen 3/5 - Jennifer Lawrence. I'm not about to bet against her yet.

Director
Alfonso Cuaron - Gravity
Paul Greengrass - Captain Phillips
Steve McQueen - 12 Years a Slave
Alexander Payne - Nebraska
David O. Russell - American Hustle
Seen 4/5 - Gravity. No reason.

Screenplay
Steve Coogan - Philomena
Spike Jonze - Her
Bob Nelson - Nebraska
John Ridley - 12 Years a Slave
David O. Russell & Eric Warren Singer - American Hustle
Seen 2/5 - Her. It seems too clever not to win here.

Score
All Is Lost
Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
Gravity
The Book Thief
12 Years a Slave
Seen 2/5. The Book Thief. I don't bet against John Williams.

Song
"Atlas" - Catching Fire
"Let It Go" - Frozen
"Ordinary Love" - Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
"Please Mr. Kennedy" - Inside Llewyn Davis
"Sweeter Than Fiction" - One Chance
Seen 2/5. Frozen. I'm picking Frozen any chance I have.

Animated Film
The Croods
Despicable Me 2
Frozen
Seen 1/3. Frozen. Don't make me repeat myself.

Foreign Language Film
Blue is the Warmest Color
The Great Beauty
The Hunt
The Past
The Wind Rises
Seen 0/5. Blue is the Warmest Color. It won Cannes and, more importantly, it is the only one I know anything about.

TV - Drama
Breaking Bad
Downton Abbey
The Good Wife
House of Cards
Masters of Sex
Seen 2/5. Breaking Bad. This can go one of two ways: The night is dominated by Breaking Bad as most nights in TV awards will be over the next year or they can go with shiny and new and give it all to House of Cards.

TV - Musical/Comedy
The Big Bang Theory
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Girls
Modern Family
Parks and Recreation
Seen 5/5. Parks & Rec. There's no strong new show (sorry Brooklyn 99). Modern Family's time has passed. Girls could repeat although the Globes don't like to repeat. I'm going with the increased profile of P&R's cast bumping up their favor with the HFPA...I can dream.

Actor - Drama
Bryan Cranston - Breaking Bad
Michael Sheen - Masters of Sex
Liev Schreiber - Ray Donovan
Kevin Spacey - House of Cards
James Spader - The Blacklist
Seen 2/5. Kevin Spacey. Even if Breaking Bad is a world-beater, I don't see how Spacey can lose this. A movie star on TV? That's all the HFPA needs to know.

Actress - Drama
Julianna Marguilies - The Good Wife
Tatiana Maslany - Orphan Black
Taylor Schilling - Orange is the New Black
Kerry Washington - Scandal
Robin Wright - House of Cards
Seen 2/5. Tatiana Maslany. The F in HFPA is for Foreign. Maslany is Canadian. That's as foreign as this category gets.

Actor - Comedy
Jason Bateman - Arrested Development
Don Cheadle - House of Lies
Michael J Fox - The Michael J Fox Show
Jim Parsons - The Big Bang Theory
Andy Samberg - Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Seen 5/5. Michael J Fox. New show. Old star (who used to be in movies). Cheadle or Bateman could also get this, but I'm sticking with the Parkinson's for the win.

Actress - Comedy
Zooey Deschanel - New Girl
Lena Dunham - Girls
Edie Falco - Nurse Jackie
Julia Louise-Dreyfus - Veep
Amy Poehler - Parks and Recreation
Seen 4/5. Amy Poehler. I'm going to keep picking it until it is right.

Actor - Mini-Series/Movie
Matt Damon - Behind the Candelabra
Michael Douglas - Behind the Candelabra
Chiwetel Ejiofor - Dancing on the Edge
Idris Elba - Luther
Al Pacino - Phil Spector
Seen 0/5. Michael Douglas. Candelabra is not only an Emmy affair.

Actress - Mini-Series/Movie
Helena Bonham Carter - Burton & Taylor
Rebecca Ferguson - The White Queen
Jessica Lange - American Horror Story: Coven
Helen Mirren - Phil Spector
Elisabeth Moss - Top of the Lake
Seen: 1/5. Elisabeth Moss. She needs to start her trophy collection one of these days.

TV - Sup. Actor
Josh Charles - The Good Wife
Rob Lowe - Behind the Candelabra
Aaron Paul - Breaking Bad
Corey Stoll - House of Cards
Jon Voight - Ray Donovan
Seen 2/5. Corey Stoll. I don't know why. It sounds right.

TV - Sup. Actress
Jacqueline Bisset - Dancing on the Edge
Janet McTeer - The White Queen
Hayden Panettiere - Nashville
Monica Potter - Parenthood
Sofia Vergara - Modern Family
Seen 3/5. Monica Potter. I have to assume her nomination wasn't a fluke. Granted, I think this is more for the painful mayoral campaign arch than the cancer one which makes me sad.

To sum things up: I'm probably very wrong. I don't care. I didn't bother researching this at all. All it means is that it's time for me to start working on an Oscar project for this year.

DVR Purge 1/6-1/10

Yeah, it's Saturday so no one is reading this. I'm ok with that. With the Golden Globes and numerous movies coming up, I figured I better get this in before I hit the week mark.

Past Purges

Agents of SHIELD "The Magical Place"
I think I'm giving up on this show but not in the way you are thinking. I'm not going to try any more. This week it was fun to see Skye working on her own and pretending to be Agent May. Her plan is wrought with stumbles that she magically didn't trip over but I should just accept the good. In a sense, I'm going to start grading the show on a curve. It's like when a gymnast does a routine that at best can get an 8 instead of a 10 but can pull it off a lot easier. In short, this was a fine episode of SHIELD.

Brooklyn 99 "Pontiac Bandit"
A very funny episode. Captain Holt with the puppies small dogs has to be the most aware sight gag the show as done and I entirely enjoyed it. I'm a sucker for puppies and this continues to prove it. Boyle's injury from the previous episode (which I'd completely forgotten about) gave Joe Lo Truglio an excellent excuse to do some physical comedy, which despite its broadness, I still found funny. The A-story is what I enjoyed the most though. I tend to forget how funny Craig Robinson can be since I mostly only saw him on The Office and Darryl is much different from what I think he does best. I hope they come up with an excuse to bring him back on occasion. Giving Peralta and Diaz a back story of being in the academy together is a good move. Diaz is always in danger of being too unsociable and Peralta of being shunned from the others that establishing a trust between them really helps. Overall, a very enjoyable episode of a show that's really figured itself out.

New Girl "Clavado En Un Bar"
The like to do this kind of episodes from time to time and I greatly appreciated this one over "Virgins" from last season. Schmidt gets a back story that is eerily similar to Barney Stinson's as established in "Game Night" on his show and that's fitting. They didn't try to milk too much from Coach. The brevity of the story of his name's origin was it's strength and they used the timing joke just enough. I was a little disappointed to find out that Winston wasn't that good at basketball. It's more fitting with the "character" they've built for him but hasn't the world be tough enough on him? Whatever, it was loony enough to milk some laughs. Nick's story couldn't've been better handled. They make him such a failure so often that we need occasional proof that this is how he chooses to be. Props too for the writers finding a way to have Cece around more often. She's been very absent.
Oh, almost forgot about Jess. I don't actually care about her story. It was mostly there as a framing device, so whatever. I'm all for Brian Posehn as a recurring character though, so hopefully they make that happen.

The Mindy Project "Danny Castellano is My Personal Trainer"
Every time I watch this show, the only notes I ever write down are quotes and they always make me laugh when I read them afterwards. That's gotta be a sign that they're doing something right. My personal favorite from this week was "I want him to date me even if I had a bad personality". There wasn't much about Danny training Mindy that I didn't find funny though. The repetitiveness of his well scenario should've made it less funny. It did quite the opposite. By the time it got to Anne Hathaway, I wanted to join in. More than anything, I'm impressed that Danny knew who Michael Fassbender is. Is Fassbender a common name now? He still feels fringe to me.

Trophy Wife "The Big 5-0"
"That's right Bert. You've eaten everything that's been on your pajamas"
At this point, it's just depressing to see Natalie Morales show up. I think I've gone on about that enough though. Seeing how different Diane and Jackie are, it would be nice to get some idea of what attracted Pete to them in the first place (do I smell a flashback episode?). Of course it would end with him still getting the wind chimes. Elsewhere, as you can tell from the quote at the top, I got a kick out of Bert's realization about what his meat was. And, it all ends with Wilco's "California Stars" so approve.

The Middle "Sleepless in Orsen"
Why do I like Boss Co. so much? Maybe it's because when the show does something with Boss Co. they don't feel the need to have Axl be a complete douche to the rest of the Hecks, which can get old. I'm interested to see what they do with this love triangle between Sue, Darrin, and the Glossner.

Modern Family "And One to Grow On"
The writers seem to have a new go-to move in giving Phil (and Luke) some topic and doing as much wordplay as possible (the birds a couple weeks ago and Canada after that). This week, the topic was Footloose. That well is yet to dry up. At this point, I can't keep calling Haley the "stealth MVP". It's happening too often. She stole the show with he covering for Claire and Phil.

The Big Bang Theory "The Occupation Recalibration"
I love having Kevin Sussman as Stuart around more this year but can we please give him a win. The best I can understand it is that the writers are trying to make Raj look better, not by actually making him better, but by putting him next to someone more pathetic. I think this was the first Bernadette/Stuart interaction and I liked it. By the way, was that the guy from Drake and Josh who owned the other comic book store? If so, he's looking good. Then there's Brian Posehn who is everywhere this week.

Community "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics"
The Zodiac vibe was great. I would've thought they'd wait a little longer before they did a high concept episode like this. Of course, they did a wonderful job with it. The look, feel, and beats were, expectedly, dead on. As soon as they introduced the Ass-Crack bandit, I assumed we'd see the return of Star Burns. I don't know if that was a common prediction. Time will tell what to make of Pierce's death. It certainly takes care of the lingering "Where's Pierce?" issue. It seems a bit mean though? Is that just me? And, it's weird that they would use Troy so secondarily giving how little time we have with him.

Parks & Recreation "Second Chance"
This was a good use of a 100th episode. It's callback heavy, most notably with Leslie's second announcement of running for City Council. Bringing in Katherine Hahn (itself a happy occurrence) to tell her she's too good for that job is a smart move and leaves me wondering what they have planned for her. I was glad to see Alison Becker as Shauna Malwae-Tweep show up too. Andy's back and that's the best news of all!

The Crazy Ones "Outbreak"
I feel like the "sick people as zombies" shtick is getting old. It's done agreeably enough here though. I enjoyed most everything with the doll, especially her creeping Andrew out. I probably need to accept the lingering sexual tension between Sydney and Andrew as a thing that's always going to be there.

The Michael J Fox Show "Secret"
This is the funniest I've found Graham ever and it was a pretty small part. I can only hope they don't pursue movie with Harris and Leigh as a couple. I'm only now getting used to the family's dynamic. Adding that in has too much potential to spin out of control. Seeing Richard Kind reminded me, when are there going to be more reunion castings? We've have one from Spin City (Kind) and one from Family Ties (Tracy Pollan). More, please. I could see Alan Ruck dating Leigh or Michael Gross being sagely in some way.

Parenthood "Stay a Little Longer"
I'm switching to bullet points again for this show. Too much happens to make one giant-ass paragraph.
-Ever other week this year has been a story about how Crosby needs to realize how great Jasmine is for him, often by using the band, who really need to finish recording this album soon.
-That was a really unsatisfying ending to Max's story this week. Don't get me wrong, it was the right way to do it and the lack of satisfaction was certainly the aim. I hope they give him a win soon.
-It's nice to see Zeek not in "lost puppy dog" mode. I don't remember there ever being a lot of bonding time between him and Amber. There should be more.
-Hank is a complete dick this week. I'm chalking this up to them playing up his potential Aspergers though. It's clear that Sarah was outclassed for this job, which, to it's credit, the show doesn't shy away from.
-As someone who wishes the best for them, I'm not looking forward to the next few weeks with Julia and Joel. They are both being idiots. I'm so relieved that the killed any lingering possibility that Joel and Penny Meredith would have an indiscretion.