Delayed Reaction: L!fe Happens

The Pitch: Having a baby sure is a buzzkill for dating.

And you ask "Why did I watch this?"

What Took Me So Long: I'm not going to lie. The '!' in L!fe made me really question if I wanted to see this.

Why I Saw It: Then I realized the cast is Krysten Ritter, Kate Bosworth, and Rachel Bilson and, suddenly, I wanted to give it a chance. Weird, right? The story is perfectly affable. Like most movies of its ilk, it's about a 20-something who can get his/her life together and then shit happens. In this case, that happens in the first five minutes and the rest of it is a RomCom with so much miscommunication that even Lucille Ball would be like "Enough games. Say what you mean".

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I'm getting a little tired of current iteration of the Indie movie formula. I like Krysten Ritter a lot. Kate Bosworth is someone I have no reason to dislike (Blue Crush is a modern female surfing classic). Rachel Bilson playing a character with a constant rotation of risque outfits is always ok with me. None of them do anything particularly interesting. None of the jokes are especially funny. None of the deception is all that cleverly handled.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

DVR Purge: 3/20-3/25

A kind of light-ish week with a surprise finale. Ok, not a surprise finale, but I didn't pay attention and then, hey, the Brooklyn Nine Nine season is done. What up with that.

Past Purges

Community "Advanced Dungeons & Dragons"
David Cross is a really good actor to shake things up with the cast. He plays a lovable asshole well. I love when he challenges Abed, prompting Abed to pull out an extended binder for the quest. I don't know much about D&D, but that seems like a lot for a quest. No one even fights the Dean being there because, well, what's the point. Buzz interrogating Abed as the two hobgoblins has to be the highlight of the episode though. Seriously folks, get that man an Emmy, or a nomination at the very least.

Parks and Recreation "Galentine's Day 2014"
I'm a sucker for any time they want to bring up Friday Night Lights. And, it brought back Alison Becker as Shauna Malwae-Tweep who looks increasingly like a perfect match for Stuart from Big Bang Theory (inviting a crossover episode I'd happily watch). Ron and Andy is still one of the best pairings the show has. And, it's nice that the show is finally looping back around to being a little nicer to Jerry Gary Larry, even if it's only Ben.

Parenthood "The Offer"
No kidding, I shed a few tears this week (literally, not "Oh, this episode got to me" I was wiping my eyes on my sleeve). What a fantastic reminder of how good Max Burkholder can be (and Monica Potter and Peter Krause with the assist).
Let's do a quick recap of who's side I'm on in other parts of the show:
Drew and Natalie: Natalie. She's been upfront with him. He's been inconsistent and is playing a guitar and writing songs. Could he be more in college?
Julia and Joel: Julia. Joel has been in the wrong for weeks.
Zeek, Camille, and the House: The house. They came to terms with moving out already. No need to get sentimental all of the sudden.
Hank and Sarah: Hank. She's keeping him as a safety net.
Crosby and Jasmin. Jasmin. They haven't even been fighting but something's probably his fault.

Hannibal "Takiawase"
I'm going to miss Beverly Katz.

The Walking Dead "Us"
A much busier episode than we've had in the past couple weeks. That's for the best because the story really needed to move forward eventually. I'm not in the "Glenn and Maggie are soulmates. Oh, woe as me. They are separated" camp but I do find them both to be more interesting when together than apart, so this was a happy reunion. I'm still not sure what to make of Abraham, Eugene, and Rosita. They could be Walker-fodder or compelling characters. Only time will tell. Joe and his merry band of misfits are more interesting. If the show is smart and patient then there won't be a throw down with them until next season. I find it interesting to see how Darryl is realizing how much he's changed. Had he found them a few seasons ago, he could easily have been one of them. Now, he's changed. He's still rough like them, but not as brutal. I hope Stockholm Syndrome doesn't kick into gear too much or too quickly with him.

How I Met Your Mother "The End of the Aisle"
Mother: Quick scene. Funny scene. Valuable scene.
Call Backs: Slap Bet, even if it did feel like an after thought (kind of the best way to end it actually), and a lot of comparisons to Marshall and Lilly's wedding. Oh, and the Ring Bear. Not my favorite running joke, but I'm glad they followed through with it.
Genuine Emotion: Lilly and Marshall's renewed vows were sweet. Barney's vows to Robin we a band-aid for the fact that he's done nothing but lie to her. There's no way to retroactively fix everything that is wrong with the show but this is the closest they can do at this point.
My hopes that these final episodes would be a victory lap or some magical return to form have proven to be unfounded. Given that, I'm ok with "slightly above average".

Edit: Archer "Archer Vice: On the Carpet"
If you ever needed proof that Archer is getting a raw deal by me, here you go. I completely forgot to write anything about this initially. Quick thoughts: Christian Slater was wonderful. It's been fascinating seeing the variety of ways they've gone through the cocaine. Uhhh, that's all I can remember. Sorry. Next week, I promise to have fitting thoughts.

New Girl "Mars Landing"
First of all, fuck you Fox for messing with start times of episodes. DVR isn't going away so get your shit together and let your shows start at the right time. Now that that's out of the way, I'm increasingly fascinated to learn all the rules to True American. The writer's room has to have a loose rulebook for this (much like I assume there is for the Cones of Dunshire). The show has gone too deep down the Jess/Nick rabbit-hole to go back now. They navigated bringing them together well, which is probably the easiest stage. They've stumbled through them being a couple, which is normally the hardest. I really hope they aren't setting us up for a long breakup, which is the most frustrating stage. I can only hope this is a speedbump and we can move into a Leslie/Ben, Andy/April, Jim/Pam, Liz/Kriss, Marshall/Lily (see, it's not that hard to do) stage with them where they are a couple but that doesn't define both characters.

Brooklyn Nine Nine "Charges and Specs"
I'm having a hard time believing the whole season has gone by already. I'll try to put together some final thoughts on the season as a whole soon. As for the finale, that was well done. It dealt with the season long story arcs of Paralta and Holt as well as Santiago, even Boyle and Diaz, while still leaving room to grow. Basically everyone in the cast that matters got a moment or two to shine. Peralta's undercover assignment works as the bridge from this season to the next. I'm sad that isn't going to be 5 or 6 months until I see this again, but it's a good way to go.

Cougar Town "Love is a Long Road"
God help me, I think I've tired of Cougar Town. Had it not been for the wrestler fight at the end, there wouldn't be anything I particularly liked that happened. I'm not sure if it has aged too much or if the TBS effect is but I increasingly enjoy the show the way I could a Seinfeld rerun I've seen a dozen times. Maybe it's just a weak season.

Movie Reaction: Divergent

Formula: (The Hunger Games + Ender's Game) / 1984
 

Why I Saw It: Muppets Most Wanted was looking like a box office bust and Shailene Woodley is kind of becoming my new Jennifer Lawrence.

Cast: Shailene Woodley is certainly the biggest selling point in this cast. She carries the movie as the divergent Tris. Jennifer Lawrence never had to work this hard to make Katniss work and it is a credit to Woodley that Tris is as engaging as she is here. Theo James is good playing a guy named Four (Don't make fun of that. He doesn't like when you do). He's sort of the male romantic lead and de facto good guy. He's about as good as you're going to find to play his character. Kate Winslet is not the most interesting character here. She's the head villain and is really just there to do a couple villain things and doesn't have a character beyond that. Ashley Judd and Fitz President Grant Tony Goldwyn are good as Tris' parents. I kind of wish we got more of them. Miles Teller has a small part as one of Tris' training rivals and although he's supposed to be a bad guy, the The Spectacular Now connection made me smile every time I saw him. There's a few other familiar faces as well.

Plot: It's a dystopic world in which people are divided into 5 groups based on generalized personality traits (kind of like the schools at Hogwartz). Tris chooses to join the badass group who like parkour and kicking the shit out of each other instead of the group of selfless, kind person group her family is in (I won't bother giving you the vocab lesson about the lexicon of the movie). In the badass group, Tris has to train hard, sometimes in montage form to survive to the next level (kind of like Katniss does in The Hunger Games). Of course, Tris isn't normal. She's divergent, which basically means she fits in all 5 of society's groups. In short, she's special (kind of like Ender from Ender's Game). There's a big plot by one faction to defeat another faction by using a third faction, presumably while the other factions chill out and watch. Tris is caught in the middle of it and enough shit goes down to warrant a sequel. Wow, that sounded a lot more down on it than I actually am. It's a fun movie...a little long.

Elephant in the Room: How is it different from any other "young adult" book series adaptation"? First of all, there's two categories of these: romance (Twilight, Beautiful Creatures, etc.) and sci-fi/dystopia (Hunger Games, Ender's Game, etc.). This is clearly in the latter, better category. At some point though, when there are so many of these types of movies out there, effective isn't enough. Because, this is an effective movie and if I'd not seen Hunger Games or Ender's Game (or any game-related movie) then I would probably find it a lot more interesting. As it, it's a variation of something familiar, which does it no favors.

To Sum Things Up:
I liked this movie quite a bit. It's the first movie I've seen in several weeks that felt like someone was actually trying. Woodley gives a great lead performance and the overall story looks too have less redundancy than the Hunger Games which is more promising for the sequels (They've already been green lit). While this movie wasn't perfect it is well made and sets things up well for what's to follow.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Last Night

The Pitch: Closer, but only two leads.

What Took Me So Long: This looked like a movie that was going to take itself too seriously.

Why I Saw It: I still like Kiera Knightly. The dual narrative approach is an interesting one so that we see how both Kightley and Worthington navigate their temptations. It's a small movie that doesn't try to overdo anything. It's all played very quietly.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Let's play a game. Ready? Ok, please find one way for this movie to play out that doesn't feel like it's been done a dozen times before. Therein lies the problem. The producers can insist all they want about how the movie is more about the journey than the destination, but what is going to stick is "who cheats on whom?" and nothing in the handling of that was all that interesting.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Slap Shot

The Pitch: Bad News Bears for adults.

What Took Me So Long: I'm not a big hockey fan and I always forget that liking the sport on question is not a reflection of if I will enjoy a sports movie or not.

Why I Saw It: It's funny because this movie is basically H. E. Double Hockey Sticks without the deal with the devil stuff. Paul Newman is as charming as ever in this. The comedy is somewhere between extremely adult and extremely juvenile and it works pretty well. It basically follows the exact template of any underdog sports movie. I haven't gone further back in this genre, so I don't know if this is the one that established the beats or perfected them.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: The only problem I have with this is that the specific comedic voice is not one that I prefer. It goes for all the easy jokes and, by now, I know all of them.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Woman in Black

The Pitch: Making a scary movie isn't hard. Always make it night, have some kids doing some creepy things, and hire a retired wizard.

What Took Me So Long: I like scary movies when it looks like there is something special. This didn't look special.

Why I Saw It: I like Daniel Radcliffe and I'm interested in his steps to move on from Harry Potter. I fully believe it will work because talent can normally overcome. He is a strong enough lead in this. The movie has all the things it needs for a scary movie. It's dark and has a spooky atmosphere. It's an interesting twist to actually have children killing themselves. Most movies like the scary kids, but minimize actual violence to them. This does not.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I didn't like Radcliffe as the lead of this. It's not his fault other than he didn't seem old enough. I suppose a very early 20s widower is probably more true to those times but I don't buy him in a father and business man role. Beyond that, this is a little generic. While the movie is spooky, there are few, if any, genuine scares.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Last Airbender

The Pitch: We're going to make Avatar into a movie...Seriously? James Cameron already took... Made how much?!...No, we're going to make The Last Airbender into a movie.

What Took Me So Long: M. Night Shyamalan writing anything is not something that excites me these days.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I stand by my stance that this had one of the cooler initial trailers of the past few years. I'm not a fan of the show. It was recommended to me a lot, but I never got around to watching it. For the movie, I figured that at least protected me from the unfair comparisons to the series. As a nuts and bolts director, Shyamalan did fine with the movie.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I had no idea what was going on! There's something about fire, water, air, and earthbenders or something. Bad guys use fire because it looks more even. Aang is the last airbender which is really special for some reason. He comes from a different time or is reborn every so often, I think. This movie lost my interest numerous times while watching it. I don't even have the "I was drunk" excuse for my lack of watching comprehension. I flat out didn't care, wasn't engaged, and don't mind. The hyperbolics about how bad the movie is is unfair. That doesn't mean it is anything close to good though. I wonder if at least watching the show would've saved me from some of my issue with the movie because the world as it is presented in this is extremely unengaging.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Waiting for Forever

The Pitch: A love story about stalking.

What Took Me So Long: This looked crazy-indie which can be a big deterrent.

Why I Saw It: I'll see virtually anything with Rachel Bilson in it, I've realized. In fact, that was the only thing I knew about it. I realize Richard Jenkins likes to do movies where he shows up for a few days, does a couple scenes and moves to the next movie. It's the only thing to explain why I see him in so many movies like this and never as a major character.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This is one of those movies that is dangerous for anyone with a secret crush on someone. It gives them hope. I always say that stalking is defined by how the person you are following reacts. If they don't mind, it's commitment. If they are creeped out, it's stalking. This movie goes from the former to the latter which sends the message "don't take 'no' for an answer". There's a sweet movie in this with good intent but the concept at the center distracts me from the rest of it. Bilson looked good though.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

DVR Purge: 3/14-3/19

Good, a light week. I think I'm dropping Trophy Wife. I've gotten a couple weeks behind and haven't missed it.

Past Purges

Hannibal "Hassun"
More than any other show, this one has been lost in the NCAA shuffle. I watched this episode as an afterthought after a bunch of basketball games and was admittedly too exhausted to take it all in. All in all, courtroom drama is not Hannibal's best foot forward.

The Walking Dead "The Grove"
That was a hell of a thing. I get on The Walking Dead for a lot of things. It drags its feet one minute and over corrects by blasting through plots the next minute while ignoring the human nature elements of it all. I spent the whole episode with a chorus of "No, they wouldn't do that" in the back of my head. I cannot say enough how much I respect them for this episode. A show so firmly at the peak of its popularity and dominating the ratings doesn't go where this one did. It's too divisive a thing to do, too hard to watch. There's too much of a risk of turning off a casual viewer. If anything, this strengthened my desire to keep watching. I was wondering what they were going to do with the little girls for a while. We've seen how Carl is aging faster than the story can keep up with and they were going to be the same way. A zombie attack would've been too easy and simply getting separated and lost would've been too lazy. Having Lizzie kill Mika over a warped understanding of this world of zombies is every bit as haunting as anything the show has done. To follow that with Carol pulling an "Of Mice and Men" on Lizzie is nearly too much to bear. In this latest batch of episodes, they've really explored the things about a zombie apocalypse that are truly scary: images like the dead family Michonne finds, the mass suicide at the country club with Darryl and Beth, and now Lizzie and Mika are probably the most haunting images the show has done. And, it would be irresponsible to ignore how stellar Tyreese and Carol were in this episode. TWD is not an Emmy darling but episodes like this make a strong case.

How I Met Your Mother "Gary Blauman"
Has the Mother? This was one of Cristin Milioti's best appearances and yet another reminder of all the great moments we've missed by not having her around longer. I'm still every bit as interested in her and Ted's first year together as anything I've seen in the last 5 seasons. They don't make any mention of the dead/dying Mother making me worry even more about the next two episodes.
Filled with call backs? I'm undecided about that run through at the end where future Ted catches us up on all those recurring characters. Had it been less thorough, I'd've called it a lazy effort. Given the sheer number of people they got together for it (I won't even begin to list), it was impressive and gave me closure to stories I never even knew I needed (so Blah Blah's name was Carol? Ok). Elsewhere, "It's for the bride", one of my favorite gags on the show reappears, this time, as a resolution, not a "super power".
Featured genuine emotional stakes? Ok, not really. I suppose Ted's little speech about the people who disappear from your life counts. Actually, you know what, that first date was enough emotion.
Oh, and I'm with the guys about the curly fry.

Archer "Archer Vice: The Rules of Extraction"
I remember when Ray first became paralyzed thinking they were writing themselves into a hole. Little did I know they would turn it into one of the best running gags. I've lost track of how many times he's gotten his legs back only to lose the use of them again. And, even still, he's less unfortunate than Cyril.

Brooklyn Nine Nine "Unsolvable"
I haven't memorized every one but that has to be the best cold open yet. It reminded me a lot of the dozen variations of the internet story where Bill Murray does something crazy and tells a person "No one will ever believe you". Still, very funny.

Cougar Town "Refugee"
I'm surprised it took this long in the season for some shameless Target plugging. The part, of course, that depressed me is that I could recognize so many of the items as from Target. Somewhat call-back heavy episode with the chase both hitting the burrito man and the boxes of the Guzzle Buddies.

The Americans "A Little Night Music"
I never thought about the effect that religion would have on the family. I guess when your cover involves a significant deal of indoctrination, you don't need competing motivations. Nice use of the Marx quote. I know from a casting and production perspective why but I find it a little surprising that Elizabeth and Phillip never speak Russian to each other when alone. It's probably smart for their cover though.

Delayed Reaction: Dahmer

The Pitch: We want to get in the mind of Dahmer without getting too dark. Like a friendly Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer.

What Took Me So Long: I wasn't very aware of this movie, but when I was, I expected it to be disappointing.

Why I Saw It: You see this and hope for the aforementioned Henry. Instead it was a little toned down. There's a lot of focus on Dahmer's psyche without ever working too hard to crack it. Jeremy Renner is cold, quiet, and most importantly, believable in this role. He isn't simply asked to carry this small movie. He is the movie and does well with that responsibility.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It is hurt by existing in a world that now seems to be obsessed with serial killers and TV shows that examine them in great depth. Also, it was preceded by darker, similar movies. In other words, this is a fairly disposable entry compared to stories of its ilk.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend