Delayed Reaction: Rush Hour

The Pitch: We want Jackie Chan in an action movie, but lets put him with someone funny to make it a buddy cop movie.

What Took Me So Long: Jackie Chan + chatty American actor is a common enough setup that Shanghai Cowboys sufficed for a long time.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I like Jackie Chan. He is a pretty unique Hollywood presence. His slapstick is kind of like Buster Keaton on crack. He is great at staged fighting but only seems concerned with how he can make it funny and I'd say the Rush Hour franchise. Chris Tucker is a good ying to Chan's yang even if he does exhausted you with his constant barrage of words. I wouldn't say there's anything new to this but it gets the buddy cop formula right.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: As I said, Tucker wore me down, so that got a little tiring by the end. That is admittedly how his character is supposed to be seen, but that doesn't make it any less tiring.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs

The Pitch: People keep thinking this movie is about dinosaurs. We might as well give 'em just that.

What Took Me So Long: I thought having not seen the second movie would hurt my understanding of it. Silly me.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) The foreign box office goes insane for these movies. I'm not really sure why. Most animated movies have a much harder time in foreign markets but this did over 3/4 of its business overseas. I get how something like Kung-fu Panda would do well due to to obvious foreign appeal. I suppose the lack of explicitly an American setting in the Ice Age movies helps make it more marketable, but this was breaking box office records in some markets. I suppose people like dinosaurs. Can that really be enough?

Why I Wish I Hadn't: You may have noticed that I've said nothing about the movie. That's because it's the same as the first two, only slightly different. Good message about friendship and family. A lot of broad humor for the kids with a couple that might land on an adult. Largely, a painless family film, this time, with dinosaurs.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Planes Trains and Automobiles

The Pitch: A road trip with Steven Martin and John Candy.

What Took Me So Long: Your guess is as good as mine for how I hadn't seen this yet.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I love Steve Martin. I love John Candy. I love a good Odyssey story. All the pieces were there and they delivered. It's one of those movies that is talked about enough that I've already managed to see clips of the best parts so not a lot took me by surprised. Oddly, I didn't know it was John Hughes movie until I watched it. Knowing that now, it shouldn't surprised me that even when the whole movie came off a little broad, the heart behind it ultimately won me over.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I'm not going to go out of my way to find a reason to regret watching this. The comedy is a little dated, but not terribly. By and large is holds up well. I know I certainly enjoyed it more that something like Identity Thief.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

DVR Purge: 10/30-11/5

 Past Purges
 
The Middle "Halloween IV: The Ghost Story"
It was a pretty unremarkable episode until Sue speech at the end. The Middle has a way of pulling gems seemingly out of nowhere like that. I enjoyed the revelation that Brick likes girls now more than the execution of any of it afterwards.

Back in the Game "Night Games"
I'm pretty bummed to hear that more episodes are not being ordered for Back in the Game. I think that effectively kills it which is such a shame because I'm enjoying it as much as any new show this year. My favorite line from this week:
"Oh good lord. You look like a 7 year old doing the walk of shame. It's Halloween, darling. Where' are your breasts?"

The Crazy Ones "Hugging the Now"
So, is that the end of Sydney and her crush? That was abrupt. Amanda Setton is proving to be an MVP on this show in a way they could never figure out on The Mindy Project (similar to Jennifer Esposito on Spin City if you'll allow me the obvious comparison).

The Michael J Fox Show "Golf"
I feel like they either went too far or not far enough with the blind golf player. Either make it absurd beyond reason or abandon the idea. It was like the episode wanted me to just casually accept that a blind guy would be good at golf. I can't be the only one who that bothered.

Parenthood "The M Word"
That debate was a stinker. I don't remember Little being such a d-bag originally and it seems like lazy reworking of the character. Perhaps my natural distaste for politics is getting in the way, but I will be so happy when this election thing is over and Kristina gets her offer from Little to head up an education council or whatever after he wins. I enjoyed Crosby and Jasmine's minivan infomercial though.

SNL "Kerry Washington/Eminem"
So, SNL is aware of there lack of diverse cast. Cool. While I'm not for hiring a black female cast member to more or less fill a quote it is getting hard to defend them adding a half dozen white guys as featured players who are all rather generic. This week was kind of shamelessly "black week" and there were some good, not great, sketches. I particularly liked the sketch about Obama's approval in the black community. Certainly a welcome dosage of Jay Pharaoh.

The Walking Dead "Indifference"
I am dumbfounded. If you told me Saturday that there would be an episode just following Rick and Carol and Daryl, Michonne, Tyreese, and Bob and someone wasn't coming back, I would've prepared my touching video tribute to Tyreese or Bob (given the show's T-Dawg roots). Instead, we get a very fitting farewell to Carol who I never thought I'd care about circa season 2. It was a smart move. One of the few things that has been consistently unique about TWD is how many characters are unprotected. Sure, Rick won't die. Beyond that, I can't say who is safe and that makes it fun.

HIMYM "The Lighthouse"
This was one of the better episodes but it was mostly by way of the good cancelling out the bad. Bringing back Anna Camp's character: negated by Ted's proposal at the end (despite the scene looking unbelievably cheap). The bickering between Robin and Barney's mom: negated by two different hugs. Clint and the fact that Sherri Shepherd is nearing "Series regular" status: negated by the Proclaimers callback. Lily's anger at hearing Judge words: the Linus gag, which still gets me. I can't call it good. But, in it's current state, "not-bad" is the new "good" for HIMYM. I'm more curious about next week's episode. None of the previews look to take place at the Farhampton Inn which means one of two things: 1) the writers are finally tiring of that place and plan to give us a story with the structure they promised before the season or 2) the promotional department senses the Farhampton fatigue and wants to call as little attention to that setting as possible.

SHIELD "FZZT"
They are certainly trying. This is probably my favorite episode since the pilot. Coulson got to be dramatic, which I liked. I'm less interested and more tired of the constant referencing to how he died and came back. I'd sort of like to move past that. The scene at the beginning of everyone joking about Ward was fairly painful. Why is it that when shows have scenes with the characters cracking jokes and laughing it is never funny to the audience? It must be harder than it looks. I like the attempt to up the stakes. Sadly, I don't genuinely care about Simmons enough (beyond an inherent love of any attractive woman with a British accent) for the episode to resonate much. Solid character building and definite signs that the writing staff is figuring out how to do this show more effectively.

Brooklyn Nine Nine "48hrs."
I can't wait to see what this show will look like when Peralta is calibrated to fit the rest of the cast. Basically everyone else is where they need to be. I love this cast and it's so nice to watch this without the constant fear of cancellation. I love that this is continuing the tradition of comedy shows that need sparse evidence to close any case (See: Monk).

New Girl "Coach"
The return of Coach basically had to fall under the pressure of my lofty expectations. Like most of this season, there's been some good laughs even if
the heart of the episode wasn't there. This is basically what episode 2 Coach would look like, which is understandable. I believe Damon Wayans Jr. is doing a few episodes so I'd like to see what it will be like in coming weeks. I liked how Jess is finally acknowledging how all of them are in their 30s and still living like this.

The Mindy Project "Sk8ter Man"
Ugh, DVR! It didn't record. Based on the title alone, I am hoping for at least one Avril Lavigne reference.

Trophy Wife "Lice & Beary White"
Still not seeing how Meg is fitting into this show long term but I like the effort put in to give her a story with Diane. I'm also very encouraged by the fact that the writers realize that Jackie can be a bit much. Now, it's about seeing how long it takes for that to get reflected in the writing because this episode was irritatingly heavy with her.

Delayed Reaction: How the Grinch Stole Christmas

The Pitch: Live action version of the beloved Christmas spacial. Excuse me, I mean, book.

What Took Me So Long: The thing about Christmas movies is that if you don't watch them in December, it feels wrong and I could never find time for it in December.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I like when Jim Carrey is having fun. I like him at other times too, but I think his is one of the most naturally entertaining comedy actors out there. Overall, it is really impressive how well the movie recreates the Doctor Seuss world, which I really always assumed could only successfully exist in animated form.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: There isn't enough to this story for a full movie. The animated special is the perfect length for this story. Adding everything they did to this left it feeling very bloated.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Ender's Game

Formula: Harry Potter - magic + moral ambiguity

Why I Saw It: It looked like it could be fun and Oscar credentials alone put the cast a step above that of similar movies.

Cast: Asa Butterfield (star of Oscar-winning movie, Hugo) plays Ender. He's not particularly engaging in this but I think a lot of that has to do with the dialogue which is not the best. His sister is played by Oscar nominee Abigail Breslin. His, female best friend/maybe love interest (it's hard to entirely tell) is played by Oscar nominee Hailee Steinfeld. The overbearing Colonel is played by Oscar nominee and living legend, Harrison Ford. His other overbearing Colonel is played by Gandhi himself, Oscar Winner Ben Kingsley. Then there's Oscar nominee Viola Davis playing another one of his senior officers. That's a surprising amount of proven acting talent for what's basically "space Harry Potter" (I don't care which book came first). Even the kids in this are proven commodities.

Plot: I've never read the book. Let me make that clear. I had no preconceptions about this. Nothing to compare it to favorably or unfavorably. I knew it something about space and a kid who had to save the world or something. That probably worked in my favor. Most of the movie follows through Ender's training, from Earth to the space station where they learn strategy through playing Space-Quidditch, and finally on to the front lines of the war with some alien race who tried to colonize Earth 50 years before. The action sequences are gripping. That was the biggest surprise. The climactic battle even had me breathless for a bit and they do a wonderful job of making it seem big. The more dramatic moments are more of a mixed bag. Some are a little contrived (most notably a scene with Ender and his sister on a boat that was reminiscent to the ridiculous scene staging of Attack of the Clones). Others work fine, such as nearly any scene with Ford and Butterfield. The adaptation is far from perfect as there were many times where I simply didn't know the context of anything the characters were saying or what was happening. Specifically, I have no idea what Ender's discovery about his dream at the end is all about. That was clunky.

Elephant in the Room: It's about little kids saving the world. I hate movies in which a little kid saves the world completely due to contrivance. This movie is exactly that.  I'm sure the book does a much better job of explaining why an entire military is placing all of their hopes and trust into a bunch of kids who aren't old enough to vote (Under current voting laws. I have no idea how it works in Ender's future). That sounds absurd to me. All I can say is that I didn't care as much as I normally do with this movie. It worked better than it normally does. I'm not sure why.

To Sum Things Up:
I enjoyed this. There's a lot of reason for me not to but none of them worked. It is exactly the movie that you think it is, with a couple action sequences that are better than I expected. I can't suggest anyone go out of their way to see it, but anyone who does should be pleased with the result.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: 12 Years a Slave

Formula: Django Unchained + chains

*Formal Apology: I've been adding "as" to the title in my head for months. I realize that no one has noticed this since it, you know, has been said in my head, but I still feel a little Catholic guilt about it.

Why I Saw It: "Oscar front runner" has been said more times about this already than it ever was for Argo. Also, I really wanted to see what the Shame director did with a slave narrative.

Cast: Chiwetel Ejiofor is one of those actors I've seen countless times before but never really noticed. No more. I'm on full Ejiofor alert now. He is fabulous in this. He spends about half the time front and center and the rest of the time as a witness and excels at both. I expect to see him in more prestige projects over the next few years. I'm not sure where they found Lupita Nyong'o who plays another slave at one of the plantations is probably the most tragic character in the movie and may be even better than Ejiofor in this which is a saying something. Paul Dano is a white devil. Michael Fassbender plays a white devil. Benedict Cumberbatch plays a much kinder white devil. Pretty much every white person who isn't Brad Pitt plays a white devil. The acting is superb though. What's especially striking is just how many actors are in this. I didn't even realize until I got to IMDB that Tarran Killam and Quvenzhane Wallis are in this. Blink and you'll miss Paul Giamatti and Michael K. Williams. Yet, the movie doesn't feel overstuffed. A lot of people agreed to really small parts.

Plot: It's a pretty horrifying story. A freeman in the goes to D.C. for a job, gets drunk, and wakes up in slavery. From there, it's just tracking him through the two plantations he works on, the first with a "good master", the second with a highly unstable, god-fearing, just plain detestable piece of garbage master with an equally detestable wife. Look, director Steve McQueen (seriously, how great is that name?) is not reinventing the wheel here. This is simply the best movie on the subject of slavery that's been made. It captures the horrors of it and how the system was able to exist due to healthy doses of cruelty, apathy, and being too established to end. Numerous times, McQueen really makes the audience sit with something, at times, minutes longer than any other director would and to great effect. He doesn't seem to relish in the violence either. It is shot as something highly troubling and unforgivable. This movie is so damn effective.

Elephant in the Room: Do I need more white guilt? I solidly in the camp of "no" for that. While slavery is detestable, I didn't do it. I don't believe in the "sins of the father" mindset and frankly, it's not like there's something inherent in being white that 
makes us more or less noble. Politics aside, this movie does a decent job about showing that not all the people in the South were evil then. Most either don't know any other way or are cowards. It hardly forgives anyone for any of this and I'm okay with that. The only thing that irked me in the "white devil" department is that the one person willing to help Ejiofor's character is a Canadian. I don't know the true story, but it kind of comes off as "all white people in America at that time are evil". I'm probably reading too much into that though.

To Sum Things Up:
I need another movie about how bad slavery is about as much as I need another Summit movie based on a best selling young adult book series, but quality is quality and this movie is superb. It's a bit of a downer and there's some stark nudity and violence but no worse than a lot of other things I've seen. I won't be bothered at all if this wins all sorts of year-end award.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Sleepy Hollow

The Pitch: Tim Burton. Johnny Depp. Sleepy Hollow. I'm pretty sure they could've sold a studio on this movie before there was even a script (granted, that wasn't the Billion dollar combination then as it is now)

What Took Me So Long: Technically I was in the room while it was on many years ago. In hindsight, I remembered so little about it, that I might as well have never seen it at all.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) When someone says "Tim Burton is directing a movie called Sleepy Hollow", this is exactly what you'd expect. It's weird, dark, and morbid but in a light-hearted almost whimsical way. From what I remember of the Sleepy Hollow story, I'd say this was a very liberal adaptation of it, which is for the best because the source doesn't have enough for a movie. Depp is very comfortable in a role like this and I've always thought Christina Ricci is a great fit for anything Tim Burton does (I think she'll forever be chased by Casper and The Addams Family).

Why I Wish I Hadn't: You almost with Burton hadn't gone after this. It is such a potentially chilling tale. This version seems so disposable and the results of the actual investigation are old hat. I enjoyed this, but not enough to carry it around with me for all that long.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Good Son

The Pitch: The Home Alone kid versus some kid who kind of looks like a hobbit.

What Took Me So Long: I never even heard of this movie as a passing comment until I saw it streaming on Netflix.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This movie blew my mind. I knew Elijah Wood and Macauley Culkin were both child actors and if I really reflected on it, I'd realize they started around the same time, but it never occurred to be that they are the same age. That's on me for being stupid. The movie is actually a lot darker than I expected, the ending especially. Culkin is a great villain. In fact, I would love to see him as the bad guy in something now. It's funny with Wood because so much of his performance is still the same now.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: There's an over-the-top quality to this that seems quaint now. Compare it to something like We Need to Talk about Kevin and you can see how Culkin's menace is almost cartoonish. I do respect the "some people are just born broken" element to it though.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Madagascar

The Pitch: Ice Age with warm weathered animals.

What Took Me So Long: I was busy seeing Revenge of the Sith a lot the summer it came out. That tended to get in the way.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) At this point, it's a billion dollar franchise, so it was about time I saw it. I really get the feeling that Spielberg, Katzenberg, and Geffen watched Ice Age and said, "Ok, now make it warmer" and that was it. I mean, it isn't striving for something higher, like Pixar at it's best and I don't think it has the covert adult humor of Shrek. It is a step above the most painfully kid-targeted "family movies" in both of those ways though, so it was enjoyable enough to watch.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I don' t know. Talking animals don't do it for me anymore. There needs to be a new angle for it that isn't exactly the same as all the others.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend