Delayed Reaction: The Chronicles of Riddick

Premise: Riddick is Batman now?

I have to give Vin Diesel credit. It's hard to think of someone who manifested a career better than him. He literally calls himself Vin Diesel. That is the joke name a movie gives an action movie star. Movies he's in struggle to find a name that's more self-awarely cool than that. It's like one day, Mark Sinclair decided he'd be the biggest movie star in the world, made his stage name Vin Deisel, and decided he'd only be in movies where he was the baddest mother fucker in the world (or in some cases, universe). I used to think that came from getting cast in The Fast and the Furious, but Pitch Black came before that. Even in something like Boiler Room, he came at his role from a "punching nerds" perspective.

So, it's no surprise that when he's in a SciFi movie, he's playing an unstoppable killing machine. And when that SciFi movie gets a sequel, his unstoppable killing machine also becomes the Chosen One. What's crazy about this is that Vin Deisel is a bulletproof persona. What's more ridiculous than calling yourself Vin Deisel and picking the roles he does? Yet, he's made it work in spectacular fashion.

The Chronicles of Riddick is a good reminder that I tend to like Vin Deisel movies despite him, not because of him. In the Fast and Furious movies, I like the stunts and action. I find the story and talk of "family" tedious. He's good in The Iron Giant and Guardians of the Galaxy, because it's just his voice, which is his super power. The few other things I've seen him in rely much more on Deisel himself carrying them and I'm not a fan. I used to hate The Fast and the Furious mostly because I couldn't stand him. It took an incredible series pivot for me to work up to those even.

This is all to say that I didn't like The Chronicles of Riddick. I was curious about it, just because of the circumstances around it. Pitch Black came before Vin Deisel was as close to a B-movie as movies got in 2000. Since then, he was in two hits in F&F and XXX that had established him as a star if not a draw. Chronicles of Riddick was a huge step up in budget, casting, and expectations. This was his moment to prove if he was Harrison Ford or Mark Hammill: a true star or someone who hitched onto the right wagon.

It's a shame the movie wasn't as interesting as the narrative around it. It certainly looks more expensive than Pitch Black, but the action wasn't markedly better executed. The upgraded supporting cast all act like performers who made sure to cash their check before learning a line. The movie serves as a reminder of how hard it is to construct a cinematic world that people care about, because I had no investment in learning what was actually going on.

I may still watch Riddick, just to finish the arc of Deisel's career. Pitch Black was before his breakout. Chronicles of Riddick was his big bet. Riddick seems to line up with when he accepted the limitations of his star appeal. Then again, if Netflix removed the movie tomorrow, I wouldn't be heartbroken.

Verdict: Strongly Don't Recommend