Movie Reaction: X-Men: Apocalypse

Formula: (X-Men: The First Class + X-Men: Days of Future Past + x) / X-Men: The First Class + X-Men: Days of Future Past)

Back in 2000, there was no Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU, for short). There was no master plan. Marvel didn't have the money to produce their own movies. Fox didn't trust Brian Singer to make the movie he wanted, because movies without Batman or Superman hadn't really worked before. It was only after the success of X-Men, the massive success of Spider-Man, and several high-profile sequels that superhero movies could be planned on a large scale.

By the time that superhero movies weren't being planned one movie at a time, it was too late for X-Men. The original trilogy ended with a dud. The Origins movies stopped after one atrocious installment. So, the did a soft reboot, scored big with the casting, but had trouble letting go of the past. That resulted in the convoluted Days of Future Past, which featured the best of both generations of X-Men. Which brings us to Apocalypse: a movie released in an Avengers world, still using the dynamics of an earlier era.

Apocalypse is set in 1983, several years after Days of Future Past. Professor Xavier's (James McAvoy's) school for gifted children is doing well with teachers like Hank McCoy (Nicolas Hoult) still helping out. Magneto (Michael Fassbender) is in hiding with a new family in Poland. Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) is traveling the world, also in hiding, helping out the occasional mutant she sees being mistreated. There's a new student at Xavier's school. We'll get to know him as Cyclops (Tye Sheridan). He quickly bonds with Jean Grey (Sophie Turner), a troubled but gifted student. All is going well until one day Moira Mactaggert (Rose Byrne, returning from First Class and welcome in any movie I see) stumbles on some religious zealots in Egypt who awaken an ancient evil: the first mutant, Apocalypse (Oscar Isaac). Things fall apart quickly from there. Apocalypse assembles his four horseman, including Psylocke (Olivia Munn), Storm (Alexandra Shipp) and Magneto, to destroy the world. Xavier assembles a team to stop them. You know the rest.

In essence, Apocalypse is X-Men trying to do what the MCU is planning with Infinity War in couple years, except condensed down to a single movie. That's why the already long 2.5 hour run time doesn't feel like enough. I'm almost shocked that Fox didn't break this into 2 parts. There's a lot that this movie has to do. The new students need to be introduced. Moira needs to be reintegrated. Apocalypse has to be established as well as his horsemen. Magneto needs to be given reason to go evil again. Mystique needs to be brought back into the X-Men. And then there's making time for an extended Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) cameo and the return of Quicksilver (because, after the last movie, how can you leave Evan Peters out?).

When you look back at the X-Men franchise, it's all been very episodic, which should play well in the current cinema landscape. Each movie tells a complete story while leaving openings for future stories. The problem has been that they have to reshuffle things after almost every movie. Hugh Jackman as Wolverine is the face of the franchise, so they have to include him in everything, no matter how uncomfortable the fit. Jennifer Lawrence became the biggest star in the world shortly after First Class, so Mystique goes from an important supporting character to essentially, the leader of the X-Men. The harder they try to make all of the movies exist in the same universe rather than doing a hard reboot, the clunkier these movies get.

I apologize. This is becoming more of an essay than a review.

I liked X-Men: Apocalypse. There was almost no way that I wouldn't. They've assembled quite a cast by now. McAvoy and Fassbender do well finding a new way to have the same conversation about their philosophies in each movie, going back to Patrick Stewart and Ian McClellan in the early movies. While the use of Mystique in the franchise is questionable, Jennifer Lawrence does a good job with what's asked of her. The young cast of Turner, Sheridan, Shipp, Kodi-Smit McPhee (Nightcrawler), and Lana Condor (Jubilee, who is oddly absent in the last half of the movie) come together nicely. If things move more to them in the future, I won't complain. Oscar Isaac is so buried beneath the Apocalypse makeup that I can't really comment on his performance. I will say that the lack of development of Apocalypse is the most glaring weakness in the movie. It takes a while for the action to get going. Once it does, there are some satisfying battles.

I wish there was a way that the X-Men movies could just start over. Do a hard reboot with a specific end point in mind - stand-alones, sequels, multi-part movies, whatever. Since that's not going to happen - it would make no business sense to let go of all the talented, high-potential actors they have - I'm fine with the current movies that are easy to like, hard to love. I guess that's my final assessment of Apocalypse. I liked it in the way that I like X-Men or X-2 or The Last Stand or First Class or Days of Future Past. It's enjoyable, not exceptional. 

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Club 50 Wrap-Up: 2004

Years Completed:
1987 | 1988 | 1989 | 1990 | 1991 | 1995 | 1996 | 1998 | 1999 | 2001 | 2002 
2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014

2004 was one of the in-between years I've mentioned before, I think in 2006. It was coming off a huge 2003. It pretty much hard to be a letdown. Only 10 movies in the top 50 were sequels, which is one of the low marks in that era. There were two remakes as well (The Manchurian Candidate, The Stepford Wives). Five of those sequels were in the top ten though, including the two at the very top.

The Oscar movies did quietly well that year. Four of the five movies made the top 50. Only Finding Neverland (#61) didn't make that cut and only barely. The Aviator (#22) and Million Dollar Baby (#24) both barely made it to $100 million. Ray (#37) and Sideways (#40) were firmly on the list but not massive hits.

Look at the movies that year and one thing is clear: This was the year of Ben Stiller. It's hard to find anyone with a bigger year ever than his 2004. It started in January with his sleeper hit, Along Came Polly (#27). He followed that up in March with Starsky and Hutch (#26). He had time for Envy (#128), which tanked. By June, he was back to making hits with Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (#19). He cameo-ed in Anchorman (#30) that summer. To end the year, he had the Christmas mega-hit sequel Meet the Fockers (#4). You simply aren't going to find another actor with that many successful movies in a single year.

To wind down each year as I complete them, I'm going to hand out a few superlatives or anecdotal awards to highlight some of the highs and lows of the year's top 50 box office earners.

First Seen: Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed

Look, they can't all be winners. The first movie was surprisingly enjoyable. You know, 1999 would've be ecstatic about a cast featuring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Freddie Prinze Jr, Linda Cardellini, and Matthew Lillard. And I believe this film even featured a performance by a certain American Idol winner.

Last Seen: Garfield: The Movie

Sometimes, I think Bill Murray takes roles just to build on his own myth.

Happiest Surprise: Mean Girls

It's hard to remember a time when "Screenplay by Tina Fey" or "Starring Rachel McAdams" didn't immediately excite me. In 2004, that was the case. Not to mention Amanda Seyfried, Lacey Chabert, Lizzy Caplan, and pre-Whatever the hell happened- Linday Lohan.

Biggest Disappointment: Ocean's Twelve

Ocean's Eleven is one of my five favorite movies ever, even by 2004. The expectations couldn't've been any higher for me. I was so disappointed by how unfocused this was. Since it was released, I've seen it several more times and have come to appreciate a lot about it. That initial viewing was rough though.

Looked Better Then: The Passion of the Christ

This was essential viewing for every church group and conservative Christian out there when it was released. No one saw it coming. They ended up using the now defunct NewMarket to distribute the film, which ended up more than tripling the profits from their other 35 films combined.
I'm going to use my mother as example of why Passion is in this category. After she of course saw the movie in theaters, she bought the DVD as soon as it was released. Months later, I was cleaning the house (because that's what I do when I get bored) and noticed the DVD was still unopened. I asked my mother why she hadn't opened it. Matter-of-factly, she told me "Oh, I'm never watching that again." This movie was Hands Across America, not the Superbowl. It happened, then we were done with it, never to matter again.

Looks Better Now: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Certainly, Mean Girls could go here with no hesitation. It's aged incredibly well. I was tempted to put Man on Fire simply because I was shocked by when Tony Scott died how many people referenced that movie as a high mark for him. I'm sticking with Anchorman because the sequel has only made the magic trick of the first all the more impressive.

Favorite: Mean Girls

Do you realize that this is the only screenplay Tina Fey has ever written that was made into a movie? Her only credits are for 30 Rock, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, SNL, assorted award shows, and this. That's bizarre. Thank god for Mean Girls then. This is one of those movies where you look back at who was in the cast every couple years and it gets more and more impressive.

2nd Favorite: The Incredibles

It goes to show how deep the Pixar lineup is that this isn't the first one that immediately comes to mind (or 2nd or 3rd...). Brad Bird has one of the great animated back-to-backs with The Iron Giant and The Incredibles. It's everything I could want it to be. It's funny. It's exciting. The animation holds up. The script is tight. I'm still torn about this sequel they're working on.

3rd Favorite: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

One of the most quotable movies of all time.
"I'm in a glass case of emotion!"
"I love lamp."
"You stay classy San Diego."
"I'm Ron Burgandy?"
"Loud noises"
"I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal."
"Milk was a bad choice."
"It's made out of real panther, so you know it's good."
I'll stop there. Otherwise, I could just go through the whole movie. It is so dense with jokes.

Honorable Mention:

Troy

Badass Brad Pitt and Eric Bana. Orlando Bloom. Rose Byrne. Diane Kruger. Peter O'Toole. Fantastic cast for a giant ancient epic. It's a shame that so many of these fail, because this is one of my ideal genres: Keep the stories. Drop the myth. Cast it well. Don't over stylize it. Big battles. That's all I really want.

Spider-Man 2

The best Spider-Man movie by far. Possibly the best Marvel movie outside of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I'd even say it belongs in the top tier of those. Sam Rami mixes action and camp near perfectly in this.

Ocean's Twelve

Maybe the script isn't as tight as I'd like, but it's still plenty funny. I've always liked the idea of a movie where you can tell that everyone in the cast likes hanging out with one another. Especially for a comedy.

The Aviator

You know, if they would've just given Leo the Oscar in 2004 when he deserved it, people wouldn't've been so antsy about it this year. Then again, Jamie Foxx was solid in Ray.

Least Favorite: Fahrenheit 9/11

I surprised even myself with this. Million Dollar Baby is my go-to movie for complaining about Oscar winners (along with Crash). I actually don't hate that movie. I don't like it or Hilary Swank much (and even that's softening it). I wouldn't say 'hate' though. Fahrenheit 9/11 was wholly unenjoyable though. I never liked Bush, but I never bought into the whole "he's the worst person in the history of the planet" stuff either. This was unfocused and seemed entirely designed to piss certain people off without trying to make an actual point.

Delayed Reaction: Garfield: The Movie

The Pitch: Wait, Bill Murray said "yes"?!

How I Came Into It: I've always liked the cartoon strip and the animated series. Live action remakes tend to worry me because a lot of things in cartoons look eerie in the real world. It gets into that Uncanny Valley territory.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Bill Murray injects as much life into Garfield as he can. The fact the Murray is too good for this comes across in his voice and works well for the character Garfield. I'm seeing that this was roasted by critics. What's the point? It's not aspiring to be much more than a simple kids movie and it succeeds at that.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Breckin Meyer looked outright trapped at times. He put in a mighty effort, but there's moments when you can see him giving up on scenes when there's nowhere to go with them. I think Jennifer Love Hewitt was underused as well, but that's just because I like Jennifer Love Hewitt.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Club 50 Wrap-Up: 2014

Years Completed:
1987 | 1988 | 1989 | 1990 | 1991 | 1995 | 1996 | 1998 | 1999 | 2001 
2002 | 2003 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014

This is another year that's a little too fresh in my memory to reflect on it with a proper perspective. I mean, most of these movies are still in stock at Target. That doesn't mean I won't try though.

It's best to start at the top. It's been a long time since a movie like American Sniper was the highest grossing movie of the year. The last time a stand-alone movie was on top was 2000's How The Grinch Stole Christmas. Even that was a beloved property already, so really, 1998's Saving Private Ryan, fittingly, was the last time it happened (also, it was the last R-rated movie to top the list). Sniper is even more impressive though since the system these days virtually ensures that franchises, with their effects and friendly PG-13 ratings, get all the money. I may not love Sniper, but its success is impressive.

Much of my examination of the year is anecdotal rather than statistical. Remember that American Sniper came at the end of the year and was more of a 2015 success. Throughout 2014, there was a feeling of "When is the big one?". It was a year filled with movies that, on paper, were going to be huge. How To Train Your Dragon 2 was going to capitalize on the universal love of the first to be Dreamworks' huge non-Shrek hit that they've been looking for. Divergent would be the second-coming of The Hunger Games. Remember how well-received X-Men Fist Class was? That means Days of Future Past would surely blow past The Last Stand. Transformers movies always do incredibly well, and now with dino-robots! Godzilla is back. Captain America is back. Angelina Jolie is back. Something is going to be huge. 

It turns out, many things were big, but somehow, it took until August (August, as in after May and June and July!!!) for something to break $300 million in the box office (Guardians of the Galaxy). Then, continued disappointment. Interstellar couldn't even mine the cult of Christopher Nolan and the McConaissance into even $200 million. The final Hobbit movie was the lowest grossing of all the Middle Earth movies. While $337 million is nothing to scoff at, I'm sure the people at Lionsgate were surprised that Mockingjay Pt. 1 fell so much from Catching Fire's $424 million. In short, 2014 was the valley between two peaks. It happens.

At 17, 2014 fell just shy of 2013's record of 19 sequels in the top 50 for the year. There's already at least 12 sequels to the movies released that year in the works or already released, which is kind of insane.

The Oscars reflected either how out of touch the Academy is or how diverse the options in market currently are. Only the aforementioned American Sniper and The Imitations Game (#36) were in the top 50 in the box office. That's pretty pathetic no matter how you look at it.

To wind down each year as I complete them, I'm going to hand out a few superlatives or anecdotal awards to highlight some of the highs and lows of the year's top 50 box office earners.

First Seen: Ride Along

It's odd to think that at one point, this held the record for weekend gross in January.

Last Seen: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I wasn't about to see this in the theaters. To be honest, I never expected it would break the top 50.

Happiest Surprise: Edge of Tomorrow

This is a space opera Groundhog Day. That much I knew. I wasn't prepared for how much fun it would be. I'm going to be sad when we no longer have Tom Cruise to do movie star things.

Biggest Disappointment: Non-Stop

I was prepared for Tammy not being great. I'd already checked out on Transformers. The Hobbit series was already running on fumes. What I wasn't ready for was a simple post-Taken Liam Nesson movie about fighting plane terrorists to be so bad. How do you mess that up?

Looked Better Then: American Sniper

It's obviously too recent to have a good answer. I'll stick with American Sniper because it doesn't make sense that it would be so popular then. It's not like Lone Survivor or Act of Valor were that big. And this more than doubled Clint Eastwood's previous biggest movie. For me though, I think it's all about people picking up on the fake baby.

Looks Better Now: Interstellar

Again, it's too soon, but Interstallar is the best candidate. It had a world of hype followed by a wave of disappointment. The world is just now reaching a resting place for it as "not one of Nolan's best", although it's still pretty interesting.

Favorite: Neighbors

It's my style of comedy. I love the cast. It's short and tightly edited. I all-around approve of this.

2nd Favorite: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

I liked Rise of the Planet of the Apes well enough. This took it to another level with great performances from Andy Serkis and Tony Kebbell.

3rd Favorite: 22 Jump Street

It doubled down on what 21 Jump Street did and owned it. Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill are a great comedy duo.

Honorable Mention: 

Gone Girl

The magic trick of a thriller becoming a comedy still dazzles me.

How to Train Your Dragon 2

I mean, Toothless kicking that giant dragon's ass. I wanted to stand up and cheer watching that.

The Imitation Game

I'm a sucker for a good crowd-pleaser.

The LEGO Movie

I still don't understand how they managed to make a good movie out of such a messy idea.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier & Guardians of the Galaxy

Marvel had a good year that restored my confidence in Phase 2.

Least Favorite: Non-Stop

Exodus: Gods and Kings got strong consideration just because I don't know how as a PR move you can get by with not even casting vaguely Eqyptian actors for this movie in 2014. I'm sticking with Non-Stop which just disappointed me on every level. It was Julianne Moore's last movie before winning an Oscar, Lupita Nyong'o's first since winning an Oscar, and they still managed to screw it up. Bleh.

Movie Reaction: Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

Formula: Neighbors + girls

For a sequel, there are two important statements that are said and the order that they are said makes all the difference. Those two statements are "We should make a sequel" and "I have good idea for a sequel". With Neighbors 2, I have a hard time believing that the good idea for a sequel came before the decision to make a sequel. That's not a bad thing either. I'm pretty sure 22 Jump Street went in the same order and it was great. It's just an important thought to have when considering a movie.

The first Neighbors is probably my favorite movie from 2014. It's an efficient comedy with a fantastic cast and a versatile premise that lends itself to a lot of jokes. And everyone is back for the sequel. Nicolas Stoller returns as director. Andrew Jay Cohen and Brendan O'Brien wrote the script again, this time with Stoller, Seth Rogen, and Evan Goldberg getting writing credits as well. The core cast of Rogen, Rose Byrne, Zac Efron, Ike Barinholtz, and Carla Gallo are back, with Dave Franco, Jerrod Carmichael, and Christopher Mintz-Plasse getting small roles. Oh, then there's the addition of Chloe Grace Moretz, Kiersey Clemons (Dope, Transparent), and Beanie Feldstein. There's no shortage of people I love in this. And that is almost a problem. More on that in a moment.

The movie picks up a couple years after the first movie. Mac and Kelly (Rogen and Byrne) are about to move out of their house but have to wait 30 days for the buyers to not back out of the deal. Teddy (Efron) finds himself homeless after his roommate, Pete (Franco) gets engaged. Teddy helps start a sorority led by a freshman girl, Shelby (Moretz), who is pissed off that official sororities aren't allowed to throw parties. Mac and Kelly fear a repeat of their last run-in with Greek neighbors and are afraid the girls' rowdy presence will scare the prospective buyers. This sets off another prank war, similar to the first movie, except with girls and over a single month's time.

I didn't realize how much covering the full year was a blessing in the first movie. It gave time for a natural escalation and story arching. The 30 days covered in this movie just isn't enough. Too much happens in too short a time and you can feel it. When watching the movie in the climactic scenes, just remind yourself that it's only the end of September in their Freshman year and that'll be a hell of a context shock. The whole movie has a rhythm problem. Even the very end felt off. It ends so quietly that I didn't leave the theater for a while during the credits because I kept expecting a post credits scene or outtake to one more laugh.

While the beats of the story had issues, I liked the story itself quite a bit. Sororititty Sorority Rising almost apologizes for the first movie by showing a female student's perspective of the frat parties glorified in the last movie. Those parties aren't a good time for them. They're icky and misogynist. And the movie repeatedly calls out double-standards. Shelby's motivation for just about everything is "you wouldn't be saying this if I was a man". The people who wrote the script seem generally shocked by the fact that sororities aren't allowed to throw parties.

The performances are just as good this time around. I adore how equal Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne are as screw-ups. They are balanced in how immature they are and act as a team. Also, I want to repeat from my reaction of Neighbors, I love that Byrne gets to keep her accent. The issues with Efron have to do with his character, not Efron. Teddy is kind of forced into a movie that he doesn't fit into, but Efron is game for anything and his comedic timing is always improving. Moretz is perfectly cast here. There's really no other actress her age that can pull off the sort of villainous, cursing like a sailor, but still young and vulnerable thing that she does. Kiersey Clemons and Beanie Feldstein are pretty underused except for some big physical comedy that Feldstein gets to do. With such a large cast, the girls in the sorority don't get the time to develop that they need, which is a shame.

I've managed to go this long without saying the most important thing: This movie is very funny. The humor is a little different though. It's less grounded than before, and the jokes are driving the movie more than the story. Some jokes, namely the airbags, are recycled a bit too much (at the same time, that's the kind of joke that some fans would call required to return). The new characters and perspective keep enough of the movie fresh and it's full of familiar actors who are just about all Apatow-style comedy veterans by now. I fully enjoyed this even if it's not quite as good as the first. Comedy sequels are hard. Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising does better than most.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Movie Reaction: The Nice Guys

Formula: Inherent Vice ^ Lethal Weapon

Shane Black didn't invent the buddy comedy but he certainly mastered it. While his directing credits only go back to Iron Man 3 and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, his writing includes Lethal Weapon, The Last Boy Scout, and The Long Kiss Goodnight. As soon as I heard he was returning to the buddy cop sub-genre with a 1970s setting and the unlikely comic duo of Russell Crowe and Ryan Gosling, I was on board.

I spend way too much of my time watching movies trying to figure out the formula I'm going to use. In this case though, it took about 10 seconds. The Nice Guys is like watching a version of Inherent Vice that I am smart enough to follow. Both movies share a slick 70s Los Angeles style with a wicked, absurd sense of humor. Where they diverge is that The Nice Guys can't help but turn into an action movie at some point. And that's not a bad thing. Formula is only bad when it's a bad formula or an incomplete one. The Nice Guys is confidently what it is and has as much fun as possible with it.

The movie begins with Jackson Healy (Crowe), a bruiser for hire, beating up low level-private eye Holland March (Gosling), who has been asking around about a missing girl. Healy is hired by that girl (Margaret Qualley from The Leftovers) shortly before she went missing. Soon after their first meeting, Healy and March form a partnership to find the girl when they learn that much more dangerous men are looking to kill her. In the process, they discover a larger conspiracy that goes from city hall to the Detroit auto makers to the porn industry and everywhere in between. It's a convoluted plot filled with many coincidences and lucky discoveries (at one point, a plot device literally falls from the sky) that only works because of how little the story matters to the success of the movie.

It's the rapport between Crowe and Gosling (and Gosling's way-too-mature-for-her-age daughter, Angourie Rice) that sells this. As much as Gosling is known for serious roles and being a hearthrob, he also has a lot of fun playing a goofball (I want to see a movie in which he and Paul Rudd play brothers or something). He commits fully to playing a miserable schmuck and is great at it. Looking at his filmography (and past real-life incidents) there's no reason to think that Crowe would play well in a comedy. But I don't know. Maybe it's his recent SNL hosting stint or just the idea that an older Russell Crowe is a jollier Russell Crowe, but I didn't doubt he'd be well-suited for his role. It's the same role Bruce Willis plays for most of his movies: grizzled veteran who's just trying to do right. There are a number of other actors of note in this, from Gosling's aforementioned daughter, to Qualley as the college activist-gone-missing girl, to Kim Basinger as the chief of the justice department, to Matt Bomer as a hit man named John Boy. They are all filled with quirks and all accents to populate the world that Gosling and Crowe are playing in.

In addition to the comedy being completely in line with my tastes - absurd, dark, silly, and occasionally understated - it's the details that killed me. Things like Bomer's character having the same cheek blotch as John Boy from The Waltons or Crowe including "I'm going to throw up" as one of the given steps in his plan for disposing of a dead body they find.

I loved this movie. Based on the number of times when I was the only person in the theater laughing, this might not be for everyone. Here's a little test to determine if you're like me:

Do you ever watch Boogie Nights and think, "this needs more laughs: easier laughs?"
 
As far as you're concerned, is the soundtrack to Superbad the only thing that Lethal Weapon is missing?
 
Do you like the humor of Inherent Vice but don't want to be mystified by whatever the hell is actually happening?
 
When watching Nightcrawler, do you wish the oppressive darkness could be replaced with nostalgic levity?
 
As far as you are concerned, would Iron Man 3 have been better as a buddy comedy between Tony Stark and an automated Iron Man suit?
 
Do you sometimes dream of L.A. Confidential being set 20 years later and with more sex jokes?
 
If the answer to any of these questions is "yes", The Nice Guys is probably for you.


Verdict (?): Strongly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

The Pitch: Honestly, I think this was sold on the long title.

How I Came Into It: I think I read the book of this when I was younger, or at least the title made an impression on me. That memory wasn't enough to recall if the movie was a faithful adaptation. I'll go ahead and say that that's for the best.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This is a likable movie. That's all it's aiming for. All the cast, but especially Steve Carell and Jennifer Garner are game for anything. Perhaps my favorite moment is at the end, when it turns out that the Australian cowboys are strippers, and the parents just laugh. I like when a movie knows to let things wind down. Any other move would've been forced.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I did have the thought "Oh, Donald Glover can't do Community anymore, but he can do this?" What I'm trying to say is that I need more Donald Glover in my life and I haven't had any luck getting into Childish Gambino.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: In the Army Now

The Pitch: Don't you wish Stripes could've been made with Pauly Shore instead of that Bill Murray guy?

How I Came Into It: Like most Pauly Shore movies, I spent years feeling like I'd seen this already, because I saw Pauly Shore on TV in the early 90s and that's what you get. It turns out, this one escaped me, although I do remember the hair shaving scene vividly. Perhaps that's because it's a scene I've seen in literally every TV show and movie that have a military academy/boot camp.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) No, this isn't a clever movie, or a memorable one, or an interesting, or a good one. But it's not exactly bad. The mix of Pauly Shore, Lori Petty, Andy Dick, and David Alan Grier is an interesting one.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I can't be the only person who thought "I've seen 'x' already, so why do I need to see this?" where 'x' is equal to anything you want: Tropic Thunder, that episode of Malcolm in the Middle, Full Metal Jacket, Child's Play 3. Any movie or TV show will do.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Club 50 Wrap-Up: 2006

Years Completed:
1987 | 1988 | 1989 | 1990 | 1991 | 1995 | 1996 | 1998 | 1999 | 2001 
2002 | 2003 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013

I briefly considered changing the parameters of this project to the top 80 each year instead of the top 50 so I could find an excuse to bring up Stranger Than Fiction and how much I love that movie. I settled for this unneeded first paragraph instead. Go see Stranger Than Fiction. Only tell me about it if you loved it.

I don't know if it's my age at the time, or maybe just a weird chasm in my movie preferences, but that period between 2003 and 2007 has always felt like an odd fallow period in movie industry. The late 90's and early 00's had the return of Star Wars, the beginning of The Matrix, Shrek, Marvel's rise, and Pirates of the Caribbean, not to mention the Lord of the Rings as the through line. 2007 sort of marks the beginning of the current age of sequels, with so many trilogies wrapping up, Transformers just getting started, Apatow productions really taking over in comedy, and Disney showing signs of creative vigor again in Enchanted and Meet the Robinsons.

2004-06 weren't as sexy. 2006 in particular. Superman Returned with a real dud. Dead Man's Chest and X-Men: The Last Stand didn't follow through on the promise of their previous installments. Cars is still an oddity in the Pixar catalog. Night at the Museum was the second highest grossing movie of the year (Sit with that for a minute). With Tokyo Drift, the Fast and Furious producers didn't know where they were going with the franchise. Was Eragon anything more than a watered down Lord of the Rings? Is "Will Ferrell as crazy character X" really a renewable resource? I could pick at any year to some extent. But 2006 is from a series of years where there didn't seem to be a direction for anything. You could wipe away all the movies from #26-50 and only miss maybe one of them (for me, V for Vendetta).

Or maybe the movies that people saw just weren't that good. It's hard to say.

The Oscars that year (and really several years before that) certainly reflect disinterest. Only one of the five Best Picture nominees (eventual winner The Departed) made the top 50 in the box office. That's a low mark over the last 30 years.

The sequel load was pretty standard for the year. There were nearly as many movies that were sequels (13) or remakes (3) as there have been sequels (17) or reboots (1) made since of movies from that year.

To wind down each year as I complete them, I'm going to hand out a few superlatives or anecdotal awards to highlight some of the highs and lows of the year's top 50 box office earners.

First Seen: The Pink Panther (2006)

For some reason, this was something that my entirely family decided to see. Maybe it was a love of Steve Martin. Maybe we were curious to see if Beyonce had range beyond Foxy Cleopatra. Maybe we had to be sure the movie wasn't 90 minutes of Martin saying "am-bur-ger" in funny ways. I don't know.

Last Seen: Open Season

Still better than Barnyard.

Happiest Surprise: V for Vendetta

There really weren't any good surprises in this group. I was prepared for all the ones that ended up being pretty good. I was afraid at the time that V wouldn't be as cool as the previews made it look. I'm told that it's toned down from the source material. What's there is pretty good though. I still don't know how I feel about bald Natalie Portman.

Biggest Disappointment: Bryan Singer

I'm crediting him for two movies that disappointed in 2006. You know, he was killing it with his work on the first two X-Men movies. Then he left them to make Superman Returns. That wasn't very good. The X-Men movie they made without him - The Last Stand - also disappointing.His fault, twice.

Looked Better Then: Rocky Balboa

Before 2015, we thought this was going to have to suffice as the redeeming Rocky movie.

Looks Better Now: The Departed

There was a lot of backlash at the time about this being an undeserved win and a make-up call for Scorsese. While the latter part may be true, what was lost for years is that this is a damn good movie.

Favorite: The Departed

It's looking like this will go down as Jack Nicholson's last great role and the movie that allows me to say "Oscar nominee Mark Wahlberg" for the rest of my life.

2nd Favorite: V for Vendetta

Wait, the Wachowski's didn't direct this?

3rd Favorite: The Devil Wears Prada

There's something special about an actress making a great performance. Sure, Sophie's Choice is going to get an Oscar nomination. Miranda Priestly isn't an Oscar performance on the page. That's what makes Streep in this or Johnny Depp in the first Pirates or Melissa McCarthy in Bridesmaids so impressive. That Anne Hathaway and Emily Blunt - two of my other favorite working actresses - are both in it is somehow almost beside the point.

Honorable Mention:

Casino Royale

What a comeback from the dismal Die Another Day.

The Pursuit of Happyness

If you honestly think that Will Smith isn't a talented actor, you need to take a seat.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

Not my favorite Will Ferrell movie of the year, but it's the best one that made money.

Least Favorite: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

2006 is overflowing with bad movies. I'm yet to encounter a Tyler Petty movie that I actually enjoy. The Scary Movie franchise has long been one of my least favorite things. I hated Eragon as a book and the movie matched the quality. Miami Vice was a stylish mess. Barnyard and Happy Feet are two of my least favorite animated features in years. This was Borat's to lose though, because it's the only movie that actually angered me. I just hate that kind of comedy. I don't see the skill in getting laughs from people who aren't in on the joke. This is an awful movie.

Delayed Reaction: The Spiderwick Chronicles

The Pitch: Statistically, if everyone keep turning fantasy books into movies, one of them is going to be the next Harry Potter. Keep trying!

How I Came Into It: Even though I've read it, seen a play for it, seen the AnnaSophia Robb movie of it, and know that it's not the same thing at all, I constantly confuse Bridge to Terebithia with this. Little Norman Bates and Mary Tudor are interesting enough as the lead kids. I would've preferred if Nancy Botwin got a bit more to do, but when she's there, she's good. They did a lot with minimal makeup for Nick Nolte and Ron Perlman. I'm still trying to figure out how Seth Rogen got involved in this (He doesn't have kids. I wouldn't think he's young enough to be a fan of the book series. Was he just bored?). Martin Short was the least surprising casting choice of all.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I quickly found that the more I made this a passing interest, the better it got. It's not a dense or complex movie, so a casual viewing is best. I most preferred when the movie kept the scope down. When it was just the family at the house, I liked the Rio Bravo feel of it. And I really dug the underwhelming climax. Rogen's hobgoblin just eats the Big Bad because he took the form of the bird. That's it.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I hate when movies cut out important scenes. Like, where was the expository scene explaining how Freddy Highmore's characters were born American, but grew up in a boarding school in England? You know, and when they returned, they were embarrassed by the thick British accents they picked up, so they tried to mask them with American accents that don't sound at all believable, but no one calls them on it out of politeness...What I'm trying to say is, Freddy Highmore's American accent is not convincing. I didn't notice Sarah Bolger's, but that could've been because I was distracted. It's hard to say.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Club 50 Wrap-Up: 1990

Years Completed:
1987 | 1988 | 1989 | 1990 | 1991 | 1995 | 1996 | 1998 | 1999
2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2005 | 2007 | 2010 | 2011 | 2012 | 2013

Another day, another year to check off the list. Like a lot of the earlier years on the list, 1990 has a top 5 that I couldn't imagine happening today. There's a live-action kid's movie (Home Alone), a period Oscar winner (Dances with Wolves), a metaphysical romance (Ghost), a straight-up RomCom (Pretty Woman), and an off brand superhero movie (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). It's especially hard to remember that the Turtles were that big. And look at what Home Alone did better than on the all time charts: Adjusted for inflation it made more than any Lord of the Rings or Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Not adjusted for inflation it made more than The Hangover, Shrek, and the 1989 Batman. That's insane.

1990 is an outlier year. Almost twice as many sequels were released that year (14) than any year until 2002. The next closest year from 1987 to 2002 was 1989 with 8 sequels released. To some extent, this is just wacky timing. Things don't change that quickly in Hollywood.
You do get the sense that the results scared the studios away from more sequels though. Of those 14 sequels, only three outperformed the previous installment. Another 48 hrs. and The Godfather Part III came out 8 and 16 years after their last movie (i.e. the benefit of inflation) and neither wildly outperformed the previous movie. Only Die Hard 2 had a legitimate big jump (over 40%).
 The other 11 movies underperformed. A few only took small dips but most dropped significantly. Gremlins 2 did 27% of what Gremlins did. Look Who's Talking Too did 34% of Look Who's Talking did. Rocky V did 32% as well as Rocky IV. Even with the benefit of over a decade of rising ticket costs, The Rescuers Down Under managed only 39% of what the original did. Just think, if the results of that year were the opposite, if these sequels improved on the original, the dominance of the sequel in the market might've happened a decade sooner.

This is another one of those years when the Oscar picks did well. All five Best Picture nominees were in the top 30 at the box office. Or, maybe it's better to say that the Oscars picked movies that did well. Only Dances with Wolves got any kind of "Oscar bump" and it was already a top 10 movie before the nominations were announced.

To wind down each year as I complete them, I'm going to hand out a few superlatives or anecdotal awards to highlight some of the highs and lows of the year's top 50 box office earners.

First Seen: Home Alone

It's gotta be. I doubt I saw it in theaters, but I definitely remember watching it very young.

Last Seen: The Exorcist III

The degree of difficulty I had finding this worried me greatly, especially after how bad The Heretic was. This really shouldn't be an Exorcist movie, but it's otherwise ok.

Happiest Surprise: Joe Versus the Volcano

There weren't a lot of contenders. This was a pretty weak year at the top. This is Tom Hanks at peak "likable Tom Hanks". It's after his Big and Splash days of maximizing the material he was given. After this, he turned into "back-to-back Oscar winner Tom Hanks". Joe also discovered that Meg Ryan + Tom Hanks = gold. Ryan was at her likable peak as well having just done When Harry Met Sally... Mostly though, this is just a delightful movie.

Biggest Disappointment: The Godfather Part III

Could it be anything else? Part I and II are all time classics of cinema. Part III isn't bad, but it's a big step down. In hindsight, it feels like they should've just left it alone.

Looked Better Then: Dances with Wolves

I was tempted to pick Pacific Heights because I wanted to use the phrase "yuppie horror story" one more time. I think it's safest to stick with Dances with Wolves which is one of those stereotypical "Oscar bait" movies that people make fun up. It's got the white man re-appropriating another culture. It's an overly long period piece. It doesn't hold up well. Also, I have a hard time remembering how this isn't Out of Africa.

Looks Better Now: Jacob's Ladder

Gremlins 2 has an anarchy that has only been more appreciated over time, and Goodfellas, despite being the lowest grossing of the Best Picture nominees that year, is the one that is now most remembered. I'm going with Jacob's Ladder though. It has a devoted cult following and people are still discovering it 25 years later. This might still be Tim Robbins' best role...no, that's still Shawshank. This isn't far off.

Favorite: Joe Versus the Volcano

I think this is the only year in which a movie that I only watched because of the Club 50 project ended up being my favorite. I can't fully explain why it is either. Meg Ryan is a hoot. The movie is all allegory. Tom Hanks completely gets what he's supposed to do in this role. This is just a good movie.

2nd Favorite: Goodfellas

Occasionally we forget when it's not a movie's fault that it's been borrowed from so much. This is one of the essential mobster movies. The reason why everything from Blow to Community has borrowed from it is because it did it right.

3rd Favorite: Kindergarten Cop

Sometimes, I've just seen a movie so many times that it's a classic. I had HBO growing up. They played this all the time. Arnold Schwazenegger and a bunch of kindergartners is the sight gag that keeps on giving. I don't even know if I can call it a good movie. That doesn't matter. If someone turned it on right now, I'd probably sit down and watch it.

Honorable Mention: 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

This franchise doesn't make sense. What makes even less sense is that they made it into a fairly dark, live-action movie and people came out in droves to see it.

Home Alone

Some movies are well received. Some are very popular. Few are iconic.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch

An insane movie. I don't understand how it was allowed to be made.

Misery

Kathy Bates sure is great in it.

Least Favorite: Stephen Seagal

I briefly considered Rocky V, street brawl et al, but at the end of the day, 1990 gifted me with not one, but two Stephen Seagal movies: Marked for Death and Hard to Kill. I know what you're thinking. No, those aren't a Kill Bill-esque dual release. His movies' titles are just really generic.

Movie Reaction: Money Monster

Formula: Network / (The Negotiator + John Q)

I want to be clear about something from the start. Even a good version of Money Monster is a movie that I probably wouldn't like. The corporate thrillers of the 90s, with which this shares a lot of DNA, never interested me much. I think Network is completely overrated and Money Monster's aspirations aren't far from that movie. I'm also tired of the exact same evil businessman trope used over and over and over again.

There was a lot working against this movie, but there was also a lot that I was excited about. I'm about as big a George Clooney fan as you will find. Between The Beaver and her TV show stints (Orange is the New Black, House of Cards), Jodie Foster has proven herself as a talented director. And who doesn't like Julia Roberts? I wanted to be wrong about this movie. I really did.

The idea of the movie is that George Clooney plays Lee Gates, a cable investment guru (Think, Mad Money). During a live show, a gunman (Jack O'Connell) holds the studio hostage because he wants answers for a financial crash that he lost everything on. It's an interesting premise. I'll be the first to admit that I have only a tenuous understanding of how Wall Street and the stock market  work, so I like the idea of trying to get answers. The movie is presented in trailers as a claustrophobic thriller: a tap dance of wits between a hostage and the man holding the gun to his head.

Ok, enough talking around this. I hated this movie. So much.

It was bad. The story makes little of no sense. The characters are poorly drawn out. The ways events play out are completely unearned and implausible. I can't even formulate a breakdown of everything wrong with this. There's such a plurality of problems that all I can do is list a few.

(It's pretty much "spoiler alert" from here on...don't see the movie. That's all I really have to say)

How the hell does O'Connell's character get all the way into the studio unstopped? He just happens to know the inner workings of the building from the delivery room to the studio. He had all the locks he needed and scouted for entry points. There is no way that comes together that smoothly, especially given that O'Connell is not playing a smart man.

How does O'Connell know how to make a convincing enough bomb to make experts think that it's real? I know nothing about making a bomb. I have to assume it's not that easy to make one that would fool the top NYC bomb experts who are undoubtedly being called in for this. It's made repeatedly clear that O'Connell is playing an uneducated man, so how does he do that. Better yet, when the police somehow determine that breaking the wireless receiver will render the bomb useless their only solution is to shoot George Clooney to break it. That is lunacy!

What are so many people still doing in the control room for so long? I don't know much about nuts and bolts TV production (which will come up again later), but are there really that many people in the control room who would be considered essential personnel in that situations? Everyone is astoundingly not panicked.

How does the CCO of IBS, the central evil company in the movie, completely turn on her company and boyfriend in the matter of a couple hours? This movie features numerous baffling character transformations that make no sense. The biggest occurs in Diane Lester, the Central Communications Officer for IBS (played by Caitriona Balfa). That's a top executive at the company. She is, as it turns out, the CEO's mistress. Also, she completely buys into the CEO's claims of transparency and being a good guy. She's a zealot for the company if there ever was one. It makes no sense that she would go to such lengths to uncover the conspiracy at the center of this movie. And how was she not kicked out of that building by security?

What exactly causes George Clooney to have a change of heart about everything that he's built his career on for a guy threatening his life? This doesn't make any sense either. Clooney has a lunatic with a gun pointed at him and an "explosive" vest, and he decides to have a change of heart because, what, the cops shoot at him (which was a stupid move all around) and the IBS CEO won't return his calls. It's not like the movie builds Lee Gates as some former investigative journalist who lost his way. He's just an investment guy with some showmanship. There is not way he would start siding with the gunman out of a mild-curiosity.

Doesn't the fact that Clooney couldn't get IBS's stock to go up invalidate the entirety of O'Connell's argument for why he's holding everyone hostage? Maybe I missed something with this. O'Connell has Clooney at gunpoint because O'Connell believes that Clooney wields some sort of power. That's why O'Connell invested his money in IBS in the first place; Clooney said to do that on his show. When Clooney's plea to buy the IBS  stock doesn't work, doesn't that prove that Clooney has no power?

Who exactly am I supposed to be rooting for, anyway? Even if I'm buying into this movie, there's no protagonist. O'Connell is a complete fool. He made a mistake and is threatening peoples' lives because he doesn't want to accept responsibility. Clooney really hasn't done a single thing wrong, but I think I'm supposed to believe that he's to blame for Wall Street or something stupid. I guess Julia Roberts is pretty guiltless. But this movie clearly wants me to side with O'Connell by the end and I don't at all. He is completely at fault in every way.

How do Clooney and O'Connell safely walk through downtown Manhattan? You're telling me that there's not a single crazy person with a gun there? And, I mean, once it's clear that Clooney is guiding O'Connell down the street, I'm pretty sure that makes him a conspirator too. Clear out an area and take them both down with bean bag guns or something. Don't just let a damn bomb walk down the street in a major city.

How the hell does that TV show get produced so smoothly from a van? I don't care how good the crew is, there is no way that they assemble a mobile reporting crew that easily and effectively. In fact, the quality of the broadcast once they leave the studio might be the biggest logical leap of all the stupid leaps in this movie.

Why and how would the IBS CEO even commit the central fraud in the first place? I guess the blanket answer of "greed" is the answer to 'why', but it sure as hell is a lazy one. The 'how' makes no sense. A company that big - how is he able to work with such complete autonomy? He's able to change the way the entire computer system works on a whim. In a company that large there would be a trail, probably an easy to follow one of everything he does. Someone as high up as the COO wouldn't need to track down the [apparently] one Korean programmer the company ever hired and have him given her cryptic clues to figure out what's happening. That makes no sense!

I keep thinking back to The Big Short. I also disliked that movie a lot. The difference is that The Big Short is a well-made movie that I just didn't like. Money Monster is a movie that I didn't like that is also just plain badly made. It actually makes George Clooney look like a bad actor. It wastes Julia Roberts entirely. The story is rubbish. The screenplay is a mess. The tone is all wrong and/or inconsistent. The characters are thin and not developed. A couple funny lines and a poorly thought out corporate conspiracy are not enough to save this. This is a garbage movie. I can't be any nicer about it.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend