Delayed Reaction: Stargate

The Pitch: It's a Science Fiction movie for people who love Egyptian mythology.

What Took Me So Long: I wasn't a fan of any of the shows so that wasn't much of an endorsement for the movie.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I was curious to see if there was anything from the movie that made the series that followed a logical conclusion. In short, not really. The idea of a Stargate is a perfect setup but the movie and shows stop being connected there. I can't say this is my favorite shade of James Spader. I like him a little more confident and douchey. Kurt Russell plays a good Kurt Russell character. So, there's that.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Mostly, I'm reminded how much scifi isn't my preferred genre. There's some exceptions, of course, but something like this does nothing for me, and since I lack that core enjoyment, all I can really do is focus on what parts don't age well. In others words, it wasn't bad, but I didn't prefer it.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

DVR Purge 10/23-10/29

Past Purges

The Middle "The 100th"
I won't call it the glorious return of Boss Co. but it was a return and it was entertaining. For a 100th episode. This was rather tame, which I'm ok with. Sometimes 100 episodes is just 100 episodes. Maybe it is my fear of living in a small town creeping in, but I found the story of how they came to live in Orson instead of Chicago very depressing. I feel for Brick though. That old-timey Fire truck would've been awesome to ride on.

Back in the Game "She. Could. Go. All. The. Way!"
It's nice to see Dick doing something with another character for a change. Obviously, for this show to work in the long term, it has to develop characters beyond their interactions with Terry. I kind of want to check the production order of the episodes because last week's certainly ended with a plot development for the baseball team that I'm otherwise surprised they didn't bring up. By the way, my laugh of the night came from this
CANNON: You two will be the patsies.
TWINS: What's a patsy.
CANNON: You'll be perfect.

Modern Family "The Help"
Second week in a row that Lilly got one of my biggest laughs, this time with the reaction shots in the end tag. Cam and Mitchell are on a united front this week, which I like. It would be nice if they could tone down the broadness of the gay jokes but I'll take what I can get. I love Manny's "Am I being replaced" line and little else about the manny plot. I like Adam DeVine but in small and carefully handled does. I will never say "No" to more Peri Gilpin in my life. The story surrounding her was a little "meh". Nothing egregious though beyond getting very little use out of having Fred Willard around.

The Big Bang Theory "The Romance Resonance"
Much like last week's episode existed for the Raiders of the Lost Ark revelation, this week existed because someone wanted to have them sing a song. It was a sweet and catchy song and I have no issue with it. I'm just enjoying how easily you can see the mechanics of the show after this many seasons. Did anyone else get the sense that the writers lost their patience to write an episode for Valentine's Day and went ahead and made this one now?

The Crazy Ones "She's So European"
I didn't like this episode. I'm not certain if this is a qualitative or subjective judgment. Pretty much everything about the European lady (not even looking up the name) rubbed me the wrong way: Simon and Zach competing for her, Sydney wanting to seem cool to her, the father daughter sex awkwardness. All of it did nothing for me. I'm not sounding the alarms or anything. All shows have episodes I don't like, especially early on so I'll just ignore this and think about how soon before they can get Kelly Clarkson back on. She's so nice.

The Michael J Fox Show "Teammates"
Eve's story is a standard sitcom trope that I could do without. The resolution worked out well though with her being able to go to the concert (instead of the "Dad knows best" story I feared we were getting) and they got a dog which is something I ALWAYS approve of. Mike and Annie's fight is a pretty common one in a sitcom although again, I was pleased with the tweak to the formula so that it isn't a case in which there is a right and wrong party, instead opting for a "we each have complimentary strengths" compromise. Oh, and very little of the office as a setting which I approve of.

Parenthood "Let's Be Mad Together"
I quite enjoyed Kristina's back and forth about Max's situation and thought it did a great job of fully articulating all the sides of the issue, then ended it in a fitting place. I'm glad that Sarah's worries about Ryan are not going away after one episode. I feel like Joel and Julia are in a constant struggle to balance their relationship and I can't tell if I like it or am exhausting of it. Crosby and drunk Joel is a pairing I want to see more of. That's for sure. I'm a little annoyed that Adam's response to Kristina's crazy decision to run for mayor is to do something similarly crazy by starting his own label, just as the studio seems to be stabilizing finally.

SNL "Edward Norton/That singer whose I can't remember"
There was a strange moment during monologue, after Miley (I am so tired of her) plugged her new tour and Alec Baldwin plugged his new show when I asked myself, "why is Ed Norton here?" I know there doesn't always have to be a reason for when someone hosts. A lot of it is due to availability and willingness. He also pointed out this is his first time hosting and he's been holding off for 13 years. This all strikes me as nearly as odd as Bruce Willis hosting the episode before. He did a fine job and Nasim Pedrad finally got a little something to do (as did Jay Pharaoh in a bit of a tonally miscalculated sketch).

The Walking Dead "Isolation"
Did I miss the part where we as an audience find out how Rick knew Carol killed those people? If so, my bad. If not, I hope they do go over that. Now, normally I would talk about how I liked the episodes and all the character development was great or that I enjoyed Carl and Hershel's scenes together or even how worried I was when I realized Darryl was in a car with virtually every black person one the show (historically, an unsafe position to be in). Instead, I'm going to have to complain about how my fucking DVR cut off that last 30 seconds of the episode. You know the big reveal about Carol. The thing is, I was watching it live, so you can't even fault me there. Get your act together Time Warner and whoever gets show runtimes for them. On the plus side, if it happened to me, I'm sure it happened to many others and I doubt AMC will let that happen ever again.

HIMYM "No Questions Asked"
The other day, I had a really big dinner with a lot of courses: beets, carrots, broccoli, green beans, asparagus, but the only thing I was really excited for was the steak. I wanted to end the meal on a high note, so I forced myself to eat a little bit of the carrots, a little broccoli, systematically going through everything else until all that was left was the steak. The problem is, at that point I was full on all the things I didn't like. The steak tasted fine, I guess, but it didn't matter if it was the best steak I've ever had (which, let's face it, it wasn't). All the crap I went through to get to it ruined even the thing I like. I feel like Carter Bays and Craig Thomas have been saving the steak way too long and boy am I getting tired of the Farhampton Inn green beans.

Trophy Wife "Halloween"
Did they just sneak in two Halloween episodes the past two weeks? That's ambitious. I found the outright split between the two stories nice. The Kate/Jackie pairing was a new one and one I approve of. I especially enjoyed Jackie's complete lack of pop-culture awareness.

November Preview

November is looking to be quite a month. There's a healthy number of blockbusters and awards contenders in here that should keep me busy. The wildcards, as always, will come in the form of the limited releases, of which there are many, not to mention the looming 12 Years as a Slave which should be reaching me in the next week or two. I'm hoping to avoid doubling up until December. With at least one light week this month, that should be possible...maybe...probably not.

March |  April | May | June | July | August | September | October 

11/1

The Lock: Ender's Game

I know nothing about this except that my childhood was lesser having not read it. The casting of the younger actors is basically a collection of young people who were really good in a movie or two, then seemingly disappeared, including Asa Butterfield (Hugo), Hailee Steinfeld (True Grit), and Abagail Breslin (Little Miss Sunshine). Round that out with heavy hitters like Harrison Ford, Ben Kingsley, and Viola Davis, throw a $100+ million budget at it, pretend it isn't from the director of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and you have what looks to be an enjoyable kickoff to the holiday box office season.
Odds I'll See It: 84%

In consideration:

Dallas Buyer's Club [Limited] - This is virtually a lock. I've been wanting to see Matthew McConaughey's acclaimed performance since I first heard about it. My only hesitation comes from the fact that I've heard raves about McConaughey ans Jared Leto's performances but I can't remember hearing much about the movie itself. I don't the an Iron Lady situation on my hands.
Odds I'll See It: 73%

About Time [Limited] - The preview has me awful interested. The time traveling is an interesting conceit and I can't ague with credentials like "from the man behind Love, Actually". I do worry that the trailer actually says too much about the story (think The Butterfly Effect meets The Time Traveler's Wife), but this is clearly going to live and die by the effectiveness of the romance and humor. In August, this would be a lock for me. In November, it's all about circumstance and timing.
Odds I'll See It: 48%

Last Vegas - The Bucket List meets The Hangover. I'm glad these guys (De Niro, Douglas, Freeman, and Kline) are finding something to do. That's doesn't mean I have to feel motivated to see it. Unless this gets some shockingly positive reviews, I don't expect I'll ever get around to finding out if my opinion of it is unfair.
Odds I'll See It: 6%

Free Birds - From the studio that brought you such animated hits as...uh...ok, it looks like this is a new kid on the block. Odds are, this time-traveling turkey tale will be swallowed up by the Ender's Game competition or general apathy (I can't speak for everyone but I don't like thinking about my turkey as a character before I eat it).
Odds I'll See It: 3%

Diana [Limited] - This Princess Diana movie has already been released in England where it was not well received. Short of the movie and Naomi Watt's work as the titular character getting major awards attention, I'm not going to bother with this one.
Odds I'll See It: 1%

11/8

The Lock: Thor: The Dark World
I wasn't wildly impressed by Marvel's first entry into Phase 2. This has potential to work much better though given Hemsworth's rising star, the fact that this doesn't look like a preamble to an Avengers movie like the first one , and a fall release (I don't know the last Marvel movie that wasn't a summer attraction). I also have appropriately tempered expectations thanks to Iron Man and the curious case of the disintegrating suits. I don't have any idea what the plot is beyond a vague notion of dimensional imbalances or something. Marvel has earned my trust though to at least deliver a fun product if not a terribly good product.
Odds I'll See It: 90%

In Consideration:

The Book Thief - Can we just go ahead an call this the sequel to Schindler's List and move it back to 1995 where is belongs. Watch the trailer. It has a voice over. I was kind of hoping that WWII narratives were played out in Hollywood. It's possible that this could be one of those surprise movies like War Horse that I like way more than I'd expect. For now, I'll err on the side of caution and say I'll be missing this one.
Odds I'll See It: 9%

11/15

The Lock:
Since The Wolf of Wall Street has been moved, nothing's here to replace it yet.

In Consideration:

Nebraska - I like Alexander Payne movies, so that helps. This doesn't look like Election or even The Descendants though. Critic as gushing about Bruce Dern in this and I'm very curious to see what dramatic Will Forte looks like. Sadly, I see this getting lost in the holiday and awards shuffle. I plan to see it but there's a good chance it won't be in a theater.
Odds I'll See It: 53%

The Best Man Holiday - Working in its favor is certainly the lack of Tyler Perry's name attached to it. Apparently, this is a sequel to The Best Man. I was already tepid about this movie to begin with. That I would feel obliged to see the first movie as well works against it greatly.
Odds I'll See It: 2%

11/22

The Lock: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
The $400 million mark is where I normally decide, "yeah, I should stick with this for a while". Jennifer Lawrence's career right now must be the envy of every actor in Hollywood with both a blockbuster franchise running strong and the favor of one of the industry's favorite (and awarded for his actor's) directors happening concurrently. Fans of the books tell me the first it where it peeks. I am curious to see what Lionsgate does with the Twilight production formula of only sort of trying for the first movie, then fund like crazy for the sequels.
Odds I'll See It: 96%

In Consideration:

Delivery Man - I've seen the trailer for this and know that it's a remake of a French or French-Canadian movie about a sperm doner (played by Vince Vaughn in this case) who finds out he's fathered a ridiculous sum of children and starts meeting them. I get the feeling that the feel-good comedy elements won't mesh with the sperm-doner premise, but I could be wrong. Vaughn is not in good standing with me after The Internship. At this point, Chris Pratt is a my better sidekick than Owen Wilson and my interest in Cobie Smulders as the love interest is only slightly less than Rose Byrne. The problem here, if you've noticed is that I'm already comparing this barely favorably to a movie that was called a 90 minute infomercial for Google. That's not a good thing.
Odds I'll See It: 26%

11/29

The Lock:
I wanted to call Frozen the lock, but I fully recognize that movie expansion will be in full effect by this week so I could find this spot being filled by Dallas Buyer's Club of Nebraska. Also, these are weeks when reviews will highly influence what I see.

In Consideration:

Frozen - After the surprisingly great Wreck-It Ralph, as I said already, I nearly had this in lock status. Unlike Pixar though, Disney Animation Studios hasn't earned back my blind trust yet and I know little about this movie. I can't imagine it will be bad though. Let's be honest, the main thing keeping me from seeing this is that I know it will be an afternoon showing and I dislike the child to adult ratio in the theater being as lopsided as it is sure to be.
Odds I'll See It: 42%

Oldboy - I've finally seen the original. It is quite good. So much about this remake confuses me. First, the original has a die hard following who will be needed to make this a success and I'm not sure how much they'll support it. Second, the original has that famous twist ending that I can't imagine being kept without turning away casual audiences in droves. Third, Spike Lee is directing it. Does that seem like a strange choice to anyone else. I think he could do a good job with it, but it is so far out of his wheelhouse that I don't know what to expect. More than any movie in months, I'm going to RottenTomatoes this before deciding to walk to the theater.
Odds I'll See It: 19%

Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom [Limited] - I am really rooting for Idris Elba. I'd love for him to be a big name in Hollywood and I thought this Mandella biopic could be the chance to break in big as more than an ensemble player. What I've heard after it premiered on the festival circuit has not been great. Everyone has been favorable about his performance and Naomi Harris' but neither appear to be enough to save it. Best case scenario, we are looking at another Iron Lady (boy, I did not expect I'd be making two references to that movie in this).
Odds I'll See It: 12%

Homefront - I swear The Rock has done this exact movie before. And I didn't see it either. Amazing movie poster though. If this doesn't get bumped to January, I'll be shocked.
Odds I'll See It: 8%

Black Nativity - A Jesus allegory set in Baltimore. Despite my love of The Wire and Hairspray, neither the story or setting could create a desire for me to see it. Ok, maybe if there's singing.
Odds I'll See It: 4%

Delayed Reaction: The Haunted Mansion

The Pitch: Pirates of the Carribean made $300 million. Who's to say other popular rides won't?

What Took Me So Long: Eddie Murphy doesn't have the drawing power her did 30 years ago.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I really do like the ride, so it would at least be interesting to see how they integrate the elements of the it into a movie. Disney can do action like Pirates but horror is not in their brand, so this had to be a light movie, thus not that scary. Eddie Murphy is exactly what you'd want from him in a kids movie. He's loud and broad. The other members of the family are a checklist of the standard tropes. You have some character actor veterans like Wallace Shawn, Terence Stamp, and Jennifer Tilly who all get paychecks without working too hard, which is nice.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: It's a family movie, so I sort of need to grade this on a curve. I'm glad that this stopped the trend to make rides into movies because 1) I think Pirates was a fluke and 2) it starts to kill the fun of the original rides. I didn't hate this as much as I expect. That is still a far cry from enjoying it though. Since they didn't go all the way with the scares, I almost wish there was more tongue-in-cheek-ness to it.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: The Counselor

Formula: No Country for Old Men + Traffic

Why I Saw It: Credentials don't come much higher than Ridley Scott (directing), Cormac McCarthy (writing), Michael Fassbender (acting), and a cheetah two cheetahs!

Cast: This is one of those wonderfully eclectic casts with only a few that I imagined were on set more than a couple days. Michael Fassbender continues to be one of the best actors for anyone who is paying attention and the "where have I seen him before" guy for general audiences. Javier Bardem is on the verge of playing too big in movies after his characters in Skyfall and this. Hopefully he trends away from that soon. Cameron Diaz plays a bad guy. That's her complete depth. She's having fun with it though and I think there. Penolope Cruz is less of a character and more of a symbol...I think. Brad Pitt is like Fassbender's crime world consultant and seems to exist solely to help the audience know what is going on. The rest of the casts are a sprinkle of cameos by people such as Natalie Dormer (playing an American even though we meet her in London. WTF!?) and Dean Norris.

Plot: The reason that no one has any idea what the plot is from the trailers is because the movie isn't so much concerned with details. The story follows the approach of "we'll tell you what you need to know and nothing more" which sounds great until you experience it. This all has to do with a drug transport gone wrong. The counselor (Fassbender), almost through coincidence (I think) is involved in it due to some unspecified job he did for Bardem. I'm certain that if I watch it again, there's layers, depth, and structure there. If anything, the movie is a victim of being too smart for its own good. I like movies that are complex or tough the first time you watch them, but I like there to be something surface level to enjoy and there wasn't much.

Elephant in the Room: This is Cormac McCarthy's first original screenplay. It would be stupid of me to question McCarthy's talent. Even if it is political or  whatever, a Pulitzer puts that to rest. I have to say though, if this is what I am getting from a McCarthy screenplay, I'd prefer if someone else just adapt one from his books for him. There two things that bothered me watching the movie that link back to him: 1) As I've mentioned before, he's so damn vague about everything. Even the Counselor doesn't get a name. There's some moments (namely one at the end, involving a package sent to the counselor) that work great by not spelling everything out. A lot of other times though, I found myself distracted by how they were talking around things just so they didn't have to put a name on it. 2) Who talks like that all the time? A friend defended this as modernly Shakespearean which is a completely fair assessment. I found it exceedingly distracting though. For a movie that already looks more like a Tony Scott movie than a Ridley Scott one, I continually found myself wishing someone, anyone would say a line that didn't sound like someone spent five minutes coming up with.

To Sum Things Up:
I didn't hate it. I wish I could say a lot more. It didn't get the most out of any of the actors which is a shame because there is a lot of potential talent there. The story is needlessly unspecific and has little or no pulse. There's enough here that I don't regret seeing it instead of, say, Bad Grandpa, but there's little here for me to recommend it to anyone.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Dirty Dancing

The Pitch: Live action dancing Lady and the Tramp with this dreamy guy and the sister from Ferris Bueller on board.

What Took Me So Long: Dancing movies aren't my taste, but still, I don't know how I never got around to seeing this before now.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) It's a classic of the 80s, so it is my pop culture responsibility to see it. In cinema, it sort of acts like the bridge to get from Grease to Step Up. I honestly didn't know that it wasn't set in the 80s, but that makes sense because people seem to need an excuse for the dancing to be rigid, be it living in a Pentecostal town, being set in the 50s, or my favorite, it's all white people. I'm a little surprised this movie didn't make Jennifer Grey a bigger star, at least for a while, because she isn't bad in this. And, Patick Swayze certainly earns the star turn he got from this.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Dance movies aren't my taste. The plot is almost always the same and seeing some dance moves is rarely a sufficient climax for me. This sure did have a killer soundtrack though. Is it just me, or was that a trend in the 80s?

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Kiss the Girls

The Pitch: James Patterson was really hoping a movie would be made for his Alex Cross character.

What Took Me So Long: I was pretty convinced that the title was going to be cooler than the movie.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) If this is where you expect to hear me say anything negative about Morgan Freeman, you are going to be disappointed. Crime movies can be fun and James Patterson has the beats down.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: The problem is that from a Law & Order: Special Victims Unit perspective, this is pretty tame. I can't put myself in the context of crime entertainment in 1997. Every other show on TV now is about a serial killer or criminal investigators. That ends up aging this tremendously, simply due to being a more sophisticated (if not deranged) audience. Now, why something like Se7en or The Usual Suspects aren't so affected by this probably has something to do with how effectively this was made. A lot more could've been done with the idea of serial killers teaming up, but that was squandered, leaving this as a movie that is just good enough not to be bad.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Paris is Burning

The Pitch: It's a documentary about the gay club scene in New York in the 80s. It's a low budget indie. I don't think there was ever a pitch for it so much as a description.

What Took Me So Long: A friend had me watch it. Otherwise, it could not have been less on my radar.

Why I Saw It: A friend had me watch it, mainly. It is certainly an informative documentary about a sub-culture I knew nothing about. In that respect, I learned a lot about things like shading and voguing. The people interviewed were unsurprisingly memorable.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: This is one of those documentaries where the information is what's going to carry you. The overall quality of the film and editing is not great (probably due to budgetary restraints, but that doesn't change the fact). I'd say I have passing or mild interest in the mechanics of this very specific sub-culture, so it was ok.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Holiday

The Pitch: Romantic movie about two women who cross the pond for Christmas.

What Took Me So Long: I was never sure what kind of movie this is.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) In terms of cast, I'm totally on board. It's nice seeing Kate Winslet in something with a lighter tone than a lot of her other roles and she is charming paired with Jack Black who isn't being forced to play over the top. Cameron Diaz is a little annoying, but that's the design of the character and I liked her by the end along with Jude Law. Overall, nothing to hate here.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I get frustrated by characters who are unhappy with their lives due to very basic problems that they could fix rather easily which this falls in the category of. Also, I'm not sure how I feel about the whole side story with Winslet and Eli Wallach as the old movie producer. I liked it but it was a little out of place.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

DVR Purge: 10/16-10/22

 
Past Purges

Back in the Game "The Change Up"
Am I the only one who keeps watching this like a family movie that we are getting in 22 minute installments? The scene with Vanessa at the end is straight out Bad News Bears or Little Giants. Like the past few weeks, there's nothing here that I haven't seen before (the parent who never gets out wanting to take advantage of a chance to and getting sick or the meek kid who tries to be a rebel but fails). The shows handles the stories in such a charming way that I don't care though. I would like to see them land on a tone for the Cannon.

Modern Family "The Late Show"
Ugh! Well, it was inevitable that we'd get one of these episodes. There's plenty of good things in this episode, almost all of it was with the kids, unsurprisingly. I won't bemoan Lilly's delivery because she's 5, so what could I expect. The lines themselves were quite entertaining though with her walking Alex through what is apparently a repeated occurrence with Cam and Mitchell. The writers have trouble letting Luke group up but anytime they are faced with it, it's entertaining. Finally, we get the Midnight Train to Georgia karaoke which is an odd cutaway, but very entertaining. No, my problem comes with the writers trying to have their cake and eat it too with the adult cast. Phil gets some physical comedy but most of that plot is him and Clair fighting. Gloria's reason for being late is comically effective, I suppose, but as someone who hates being late, I find it extremely selfish and it hurts my opinion of Gloria that she doesn't care to improve it. Cam and Mitchell are back to being that couple who are only together because this isn't a show in which couples break up. I could've been fine with all of it had it not been for the final scene in which Mitchell admits to shaking the can. Had he simply opened the can and it been fine, that would've said that they are a ridiculous couple who realizes this and at the end of the day still trust one another. Having him admit to shaking the can simply gets a small chuckle and makes me wonder if they even like each other. Them after 20 minutes of all the characters being awful to one another or inconsiderate, it's all made ok because they get tacos. Sorry, if I'm being overanalytic about it, but the voice-over "this is why we love each other" segment at the end of episodes stopped working on me if they aren't earned years ago.

The Big Bang Theory "The Workplace Proximity"
I'm just so tired of Sheldon being a dick. Travellers in the desert dole out water faster than the writers give us Sheldon as a functioning adult. Between this and Modern Family, I'm getting so tired of comedies undercutting character growth out of fear of having to develop the series. I liked that Sheldon was jealous that Amy was fine not sitting at his lunch table. I just wish they would've done something more substantial with it.

Parks & Rec. "Gin It Up!"
So far, the most remarkable thing about this season is the emergence of April without Andy. This is the first season in which she's felt like one of the grownups and I think that has a little to do with Andy not being around. Don't get me wrong, I want him back ASAP, but it has been interesting to see. This week is especially telling because Ann is missing too which gives us a lot more Donna. I sense that'll be the direction going forward when Ann and Chris are gone and I'm ok with it if it is like this week's episode.

The Crazy Ones "Breakfast Burrito Club"
This episode marks the first time that SMG's character got a laugh from me all on her own (I remember the laugh, not the joke, sadly). That's a promising sign. In fact Robin Williams did not drive a lot of comedy in the episode which is a nice indicator that there's a show here, not just a vehicle for actors to react to Williams.

The Michael J Fox Show "Interns"
Is it just me or is this a perfect companion show for The Middle? 9:30 is certainly too late for it. I don't particularly prefer the workplace elements of the show. Remember when Spin City began and it was originally designed to be half workplace, half home-life? I wonder if that is a Michael J Fox trend or something. I'm certainly this swings hard back to just the family stuff.

Parenthood "In Dreams Begin Responsibilities"
Has it really reached trope status to have someone asking a scary [black] man for money only to find out he has a soft spot for kids? I feel like I've seen plots like this a lot of times before. And, they never are ones that I like. Zeke helping out Victor was sweet and Drew [for the moment] being stuck in the friend zone is one of those things that hits any guy in the gut on a certain level, so the episode worked for the most part.

The Walking Dead "Infected"
I quite enjoyed this episode. I'm not sure the show will ever be able to handle the cast size or how anyone new is basically a zombie victim in waiting. Given that, I like the early threat this season being a sickness, in addition to the whole zombie one, of course. It allows for there to be a looming threat while allowing us to adapt to the new (for us) status quo. Unless it leads to a Ben Linus level interrogation, I'm not sure how I feel about the inevitable rabbit hole that discovering the burning bodies will lead down.

HIMYM "Knight Vision"
I was hoping this would be a season of HIMYM I could actively enjoy while it was going on. Sadly, it is looking like the past couple seasons where I only like them at all in hindsight, once I know that it doesn't get better and I need to find a way to enjoy what's there. That's no way to watch a show that I once really liked but it's where I am with it. Oh well, perhaps I choose poorly by deciding to continue with this that past...majority of its run at this point.

SHIELD "Girl in Flower Dress"
Help! My interest is really starting to wane with this show. It's like watching a procedural from the 80s, which isn't bad in and of itself, but there are reasons I never go back to watch The A-Team. I think the biggest thing that's been bothering me though is that I feel like the show should look better. I get that they don't have as much time as a movie to get the effects down, but I don't remember noticing unpolished effects as much when watching something like Heroes. We are still only in the first handful of episodes, so I am trying to be patient. Tuesdays are fulling up though.

Brooklyn Nine Nine "Halloween"
In a year of a lot of perfectly agreeable new comedies, this is still the one I see with the most upside and thanks to Fox's recent back 9 pickup along with post-post Superbowl spot, it looks like Fox is firmly backing it which I could not be more pleased by. I really liked that Peralta won in the end over Capt. Holt. The show needs a power balance like Leslie/Ron to use another Mike Schur show. The rest of the cast is strong in this and I fully enjoyed this episode. There's still some settling to be done, but this is coming along nicely.

New Girl "Keaton"
Hooray! No evil Schmidt. That's all I ask for. Winston's still staying relatively sane, which is nice and CeCe gets a little something to do finally. This week is a good example of how Jess and Nick can be written at odds with one another without forcing them to be fighting. Not a great episode, but a good one and certainly a nice course correction from the past few weeks.

The Mindy Project "Bro Club for Dudes"
I'm slowly realizing that Adam Pally has an Adam Pally character that he plays. I mean, other than the gayness, I can't name one distinctive difference between Peter and Max from Happy Endings. As for positives, I can absolutely say this episode made me laugh more than any other on Tuesday and they were all with throwaway lines like when the doctors were psyching up Max Peter before the fight.

Trophy Wife "The Tryst"
I loved the opening tag with Diane on the computer. It worked far better than it had any right too. It should be too early for me to be getting tired of the different character dynamics but I think it's happening. Jackie is a little zany. Diane is uptight and overbearing. Hillary is the standard 8th grade girl model. Bert is lovable and cute. Warren is unfortunate. There's still some wiggle room with Kate and Pete's characters. As the lead and main supporting player, that's optimal although I am looking for some X-factors to lead this away from weekly plots about how Kate will prove herself in this oddly assembled family.

Delayed Reaction: The Day the Earth Stood Still

The Pitch: Remember that great 50s movie that had a lot of great social commentary? Let's remake that with a blockbuster budge but change the plot significantly enough for that to make sense.

What Took Me So Long: I have never heard a positive thing said about this movie other than "it really made me appreciate the original."

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I suppose there is a way to rejigger this movie so that it works similar to something like War of the Worlds and no doubt, that was the thinking behind this. I kept wanting this to get better because I like Jennifer Connely...and that's about it.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Soooooooooo boring. I can think of absolutely no reason why anyone thought this was a good idea beyond the brand recognition of a killer title. The anti-war message that was at the center of the original is greatly diluted and what's left is some special effects that don't even look that good. I'm even giving Keanu Reeves a pass because where was there a character for him to play?

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Carrie

Formula: MTV present Carrie

Why I Saw It: This is entirely due to Chloe Grace Moretz being in it.

Cast: Chloe Grace Moretz is, of course, pretty great in this. She is on the short (very short) list of actresses that age who I could see pulling off Carrie White without doing a Sissy Spacek impression. She can pull off the shyness and the rage with aplomb. Julianne Moore plays crazy but I didn't get a feeling of danger from her. Maybe they neuter her with Carrie's telekinesis too early. The actors playing Sue and Tommy are as blandly good as those playing Chris and Billy are blandly evil. Not sure if I can blame the actors on that because Gabriella Wilde has a very few moments that hint at depth. I'd also like to point out here that Judy Greer is always awesome.

Plot: You know the story. Shy girl with an overbearing mother who has some really warped religious views discovers she has telepathy around the same time that bullying happens. Teasing. Pig blood. Massacre. Source material be damned. This movie should've climaxed with the prom, and quite frankly, the prom massacre was a little underwhelming. That probably says more about my blood lust than anything though. My biggest issue was with the means justifying the end. Simply put, I don't feel that Carrie's reaction was justified by what we see happen to her before that in the movie. It's obvious that she isn't popular and the shower scene is unfortunate. Carrie assigns more of the blame for that to her mother though. I'm not sure that we see a character who has been pushed to a breaking point by the time the pig's blood happens. At the end of the day, Carrie is either a protagonist (via seeing more bullying) or the antagonist (via the direction taking less delight in cool ways to kill people and focusing of the horrific nature of what she is doing). The movie isn't served well by trying to make her both.

Elephant in the Room: This is a remake of one of the most famous horror movies of all time. That's the biggest hurdle Carrie had to get over and I don't think it did. Seriously, the prom sequence is one of the most famous, reference, spoofed, etc. in film (or horror at the very least). No one is watching this because they don't know what's going to happen next. Remember when there was that Psycho remake that everyone hated because it was a frame-by-frame recreation? The reason it didn't work had nothing to do with the craft and everything to do with there being nothing new there to justify recreating it. While Carrie isn't quite as literal a remake I don't think it hits the threshold of enough new to justify it. There's a couple plot tweaks but the main difference is that the technology is there to do the telepathy better although they go pretty effects-heavy on this, certainly reaching a point of diminishing returns.

To Sum Things Up:
I certainly wanted to like this more than I did. In a vacuum, where only this movie exists, it is fine. In a world where there is a famous adaptation 30 years before it, I can't stop myself from wondering "do we need another". And, I'm not one of those people that holds originals to be sacred. This year, I enjoyed the violent insanity of the Evil Dead remake although I liked it because it is its own movie. Maybe I'm just writing this while my wave of opinion is still crashing down and a week from not it will level out. Currently though, this is a little disappointing. For any Chloe Grace Moretz fans out there, have no fear, she delivers. It's most of the rest of the movie that gives me pause.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Happening

The Pitch: War of the Worlds...without the war.

What Took Me So Long: I am so done caring about M. Night Shyamalan movies.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) The build of an M. Night Shyamalan (referred to as MNS from here) has never been an issue. MNS can always raise some interesting questions and MNS can shoot it all pretty well.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: MNS hasn't had a good payoff for a movie in years before and since this movie. For someone who is so tied to having twists in his movies, that's a bad sign. Seriously, the answer to this is "It's nature so we'll never know the answer." That's bullshit. I generally like Mark Wahlberg but he is not my pick for a high school biology teacher. He has more range than people give him credit for. This wasn't right though. I haven't checked the timeline, but this movie is right at Zooey Deschanel's turning point from dark sarcastic girl to, for lack of a better word, her "adorkable" phase, and you can really see why it happened. She is so bored from beginning to end in this. Like her character, she really wants to care, but can't find any reason to.

Verdict (?): Strongly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Rock

The Pitch: Sean Connery and Nic Cage escapes from Alcatraz and things blow up.

What Took Me So Long: The reason I saw it is the same reason I took so long to see it: Michael Bay.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I don't have the issue with Michael Bay that many people do. His movies have become one of those cool things to make fun of like Keanu Reeve's acting or Nickelback. There legitimacy to it, but largely, its overstated. The Rock, I think, works pretty well. It is an action movie with a pretty simple plot. It takes some very specific maneuvering to get there, but it's basically just Cage and Connery hamming it up while fighting bad guys in Alcatraz. Ed Harris also offers a more shaded villain than I expected. In general, Bay gets two things right: action and comic-relief, which is definitely the case here.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: If you've seen one Michael Bay movie, you've seen them all to some extent. While it was nice to watch this as the through-line from Bad Boys to Armageddon, it is hardly essential viewing.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Sense and Sensibility

The Pitch: It's like Pride & Prejudice but not exactly.

What Took Me So Long: I'm not the biggest Ang Lee fan or fan of Victorian literature.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) My mother and sister gush about it, which means it could really go either way for me. I am a fan of this cast though: Kate Winslet, Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson (also wrote the screenplay), Alan Rickman...no, I'm not just listing the cast the Love, Actually, although I see what you mean. I should've watched that instead.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I'm not a fan of Jane Austen in book or movie form from what I've seen/read of it. I can't fault anyone else for like this, but I was mostly disinterested throughout. If you told me something that happens in P&P or S&S and asked me to identify to which it belonged, I would score rather low. I can't fault the performances though.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Liberal Arts

The Pitch: Ted Mosby goes back to college and meets a college student who is infatuated with him.

What Took Me So Long: There wasn't a chance to see it in theaters so I had to wait for it to at least get to Showtime.

Why I Saw It: I'm intrigued by Josh Radnor. For a long time, he was the only person from HIMYM who didn't have anything else going. He's taking the indie writer/director approach and letting me know that he's not as different from Ted Mosby as one might think. Happythankyoumoreplease was a little overcrowded for my taste, so it was nice to see this one a lot more focused. Casting Elizabeth Olsen is a move. Plenty of times in the movie she convincingly played like she was older than Radnor. And, I did like the overall end message of it, I suppose.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I didn't like a lot of the characters. Radnor is pretentious beyond belief (Note: I know he was supposed to be, but fuck) and I found his moments of everyman problems annoying. Olsen is one of those 19-yo college kids who think they know everything who I hated even when I was 19. It's hard to sympathize with his dilemma of whether to sleep with a beautiful, smart college girl or not. It also seems to suffer from Small World complex like a lot of indie movies, where he keeps running in to the same small selection of people which is a little tedious in the realm of believability. I'd say this movie is good enough to make me curious to see what he does next but bad enough to leave me not wanting to watch this again.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

DVR Purge 10/9-10/15

A lot of good episodes this past week, but nothing extremely strong. Busy, but nothing special.

Past Purges

The Middle "The Potato"
Am I understanding this correctly? Brick has been taking what all sound like advanced courses and instead of talking about him skipping grades, he has to do homework from the lesser classes? I can't say I'm the biggest fan of that plot.

Back in the Game "Play Hard or Go Home"
A couple touches I appreciated: 1) When it is revealed that the Cannon is teaching Terry a lesson, he admitted that he still slept with the flemmy woman "because she was there" instead of cutting to some ridiculous scene of them pretending to make noises to trick people. 2) The Cannon does in fact take the fundraiser money. They aren't trying to make us think he has a heart of gold beneath the gruff. He's a jerk, but he is her dad and they have their own way of handling each other that generally isn't nice. The ratings seem to be strong for this. I'm really hoping it at least pulls a full season order.

Modern Family "The Late Show"
I've mentioned how I'm trying to not be so hard on this show now, right? Anyway, I am. Overall, I thought a lot of this worked. I loved everything about Phil accidentally killing the birds nest and all the  being haunted by all the bird colloquialisms. I'm not sure what the point of Claire seeing Luke's game was and why he was doing better. Struck me as a half-thought of a C-story. I'm glad they didn't shy away from
Jay beating Alex fairly. It fits him to be smarter than he lets on. I didn't love Cam and Mitchell's story. I prefer human-Cam over over-the-top Cam, but the story centered around that aspect of him, so it's hard for me to complain.

Parks & Rec. "Doppelgängers"
This is hardly a new idea for a sitcom, introducing mirror world characters. I liked the directions all of them went though. The two Rons were pretty epic being in a room together. April handled Teniffer (or however it is spelled) differently than I expected. Tom being replaced by  a machine is just plain funny (I guess Rent-a-Swag isn't full time). Donna liking her mirror is a good direction to go as well, even if the mirror is a bit broad for my taste. I understand the laws of guest starring, but it was sad not to have Kristen Bell back or the return of Parker Posey. I could've done without Lelsie's pettiness, but she is running through a phase right now. Then there's Ben and Chris. I'm pretty sure they've given that exact speech about their working dynamic before but it's always fun to see in action.

The Big Bang Theory "The Raiders Minimization"
I wonder how long the writers were holding onto this idea? I liked anything about the guys examining the plot of Raiders of the Lost Ark. I quickly tired of anything about Sheldon trying to ruin something Amy loves. The Leonard/Penny story had some good laughs. That's about all I'll say of that.

The Crazy Ones "Bad Dad"
I'm really uncertain what the takeaway from this episode is. It gets a little dark in showing how poor of a father Simon was/is but also comes to an "it's all fine now" conclusion. This show doesn't look like one that will function best going dark, so I like that they veered away, but it offers a curious direction this show can go. Overall good work from Robin and SMG (who was far less of a buzzkill this week). James Wolk is definitely my surprise favorite so far. He's not playing a particularly unique character, but he is playing it well and has chemistry with everyone. BTW, more Kelly Clarkson, please.

The Michael J. Fox Show "Teamates"
I could really do without the workplace stuff. I don't find it anywhere near as interesting as what happens on the home front. The aunt is coming into focus a little although I can't shake the Jenna from 30 Rock comparison after I saw that pointed out. While I am fully enjoying the show, I do think it is a show that is already plateauing. I don't see this being functionally different by March than it is now. And, there's room in the world for consistency.

Parenthood "Nipple Confusion"
With a cast this big, I sort of need a structure like bullet points to talk about it.
-Zeek and Camille: Sorry. I don't care. Sell the house or don't and move on. Debating bores me.
-Adam and Kristina: I don't think there was really a resolution here. Adam just made a 180. That's about it. It was a nice gesture though.
-Julia and Joel: They seem to be setting up for something. Hopefully this rift isn't too annoying when it fully happens.
-Crosby and Jasmine: Babies suck. Am I right?
-Drew: I'm a little disappointed he didn't fight his own battle. I hope there's some comeuppance for that. As it is, he keeps getting in good with girls that are disproportionately more attractive than him (perhaps this is jealousy speaking).
-Sarah: I'm glad someone addressed that it's hard to take her seriously. Also, I'm up for anything that keeps Hank around.

SNL "Bruce Willis/Katy Perry"
I don't know why, but I didn't care much for Willis hosting. I like him and when I go over the show in my mind, I have to say, he was game for anything, but it didn't feel right. I wasn't a fan of a lot of the sketches although I do think the performers did a great job. I don't think anyone was "phoning it in".

The Walking Dead "30 Days Without an Accident"
I don't know what the general consensus is on this episode but I really liked it. The walkers are still very much a threat but the mood isn't so dour amongst the lead characters. I like all the smiling. These people seem like friends or at least people who can enjoy having a good time. Obviously, the show will need some conflict soon, but I like that it begins with everyone taking a step back to reflect on how things are after this time jump. It never did occur to me what would happen if someone dies at night without warning. ****'s gonna go down next week.

HIMYM "The Poker Game"
Come on. I'm really trying to not be that guy who wines about every episode, but they are killing me with all these wedding weekend episodes. This episode had some HIMYM staples like multiple perspectives of the same flashback and callbacks like Marshall's wedding hair. The wedding weekend is starting to feel claustrophobic now. I'd like some time away from it, preferably with the GOD DAMN mother. I'm hoping that all these early episodes are just filler for a strong closing arch that will have all the marquee moments fans have been waiting 8+ years to see...no matter how doubtful I am they they could pull that off.

SHIELD "Eye Spy"
Baseball-related delay.

Brooklyn Nine Nine "The Vulture"
The cast is starting to gel. I like that they are continuing to separate Holt and Peralta. It has been to the benefit of the show. Dean Winters was a great bit of casting as the Vulture and made it easy to get Peralta and the rest of the squad against him. I will say, the detective work follows the Monk-level of viability. That screw-driver is hardly enough evidence to convict, but for a comedy, that suffices as good police-work.

New Girl "The Box"
As with most of this season, I enjoyed plenty of individual jokes (Jake Johnson riffing is always funny) but the plot did little for me. I don't get what was going on with Schmidt. It must've been funnier in planning than in execution. I get that Nick is irresponsible, but the denseness of it was a bit much.

The Mindy Project "Weiner Night"
Thank you Mindy for standing up for smart people who like stupid things.  Granted, her level is a little lower on the "cultured" scale than my tastes, but I appreciate the stance regardless (and seriously, why ARE people being so hard on Katy Perry?). I have a little trouble buying the new romance though. It's great that the guy recognizes that he was being a prick, but even before that, there was very little chemistry between Mindy and Ginsberg. I can't wait for Adam Pally to get a 2 or 3 dimensional character.

Trophy Wife "The Breakup"
Baseball-related delay.

Delayed Reaction: Knowing

The Pitch: It's like the opposite of Signs, still with aliens though.

What Took Me So Long: I didn't know Rose Byrne was in it.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) It turns out that Rose Byrne is in it, which helps. The fun part of any apocalyptic movie like this is how it builds the mystery. Everything with the rocks. The codex the insane little girl made of all the tragedies. Decoding said codex. Building the suspense of that was fun enough.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: The less fun part of any apocalyptic movie like this is how it pays off the build. Any good mystery needs a good answer to feel worth it. This didn't really have that. The ways that everything ties together is sloppy. Do the aliens cause the solar flair that destroys the earth? Why do they want to save human-kind? Why do they choose Nic Cage and Rose Byrne's children? Why does Byrne have to die a good deal before the end but I'm still with Cage until nearly the last frame? What's with the rocks? How did Byrne's mom know about all this? I'm sure a lot of these were answered, but obviously not very well since I don't remember the answers. Any answers that were given where the kind where the question came first and an answer was made that fit it. Generally speaking, having the answer first though makes a much more solid story. It hurts to say, but I can't even blame Nic Cage for what doesn't work in this.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Machete Kills

Formula: Machete (I'm guessing) + Smokin' Aces

Why I Saw It: I'm a sucker for stunt casting.

Cast: There's a lot of them, because, as I said, stunt casting. All this movie does for Danny Trejo is remind me that he is not a lead actor (no offense to him). Enough about him though. Jessica Alba is basically a cameo, which was sad. Lady Gaga is fun and that's about all I can say there. Sofia Vergara is another looney flavor in the movie, basically serving as a breast alternative to Rose McGowan in Grindhouse. Alexa Vega is present enough to remind me that she has grown up a lot since Spy Kids. As usual, Amber Heard is there to be extremely attractive. Michelle Rodriguez reprises (I'm guessing) her eye patched role from the first movie. Charlie Sheen - excuse me - Carlos Estevez is playing POTUS. That should sum up the whole thing. You also have Vanessa Hudgens, Mel Gibson, Demian Bichir, Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding Jr, and Walton Goggins are all in it to some capacity as well. This all goes to show that Robert Rodriguez has a lot of friends.

Plot: I cannot stress enough how much this reminded me of Smoking Aces with a hint of any movie in which a bomb threatens Washington DC. The chameleon characters in both movies are nearly identical. The bounty on the titular character's head is a catalyst for both. Even the screen debuts of Gaga and Alicia Keys are reminiscent. If not for Machete's extreme lack of budget and cartoonish violence, I would call it a lazy rip-off. The parts that don't mirror Aces, however, are what really brings it down.

Elephant in the Room: Is there anything good about this movie? That depends of what you call good. I laughed a good deal throughout this and it is intended to be laughed at. I also certainly enjoyed all the T&A although I can get that from the internet, so that isn't enough to justify spending money on a ticket. The existence of the movie is where most of the humor comes from so that will dictate your mileage. There is no humor generated by anything more than "look how much we aren't trying to make this look good".

To Sum Things Up:
I've seen it once and that's enough. It is rightfully bombing in the theaters. I found it to a be a good deal longer than it needed to be. Good movies I let carry on. Bad movies, I follow the Tommy Wiseau principal: a second longer than 90 minutes is like pulling teeth.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Movie Reaction: Captain Phillips

Formula: Zero Dark Thirty at sea (?)

Why I Saw It: Almost entirely because this looked like a good Tom Hanks movie.

Cast: You've got Tom Hanks, then a bunch of guys whose names I can't pronounce or simply don't know. So, let's start with Hanks. I've been hearing a ton of accolades about his performance in this. I wasn't that impressed until the last half hour or so. In fact, the most impressive scene of his comes after the climax. The first-timers, Barkhad Abdi and the others playing the pirates hold their own. Everyone else is a "hey, it's that guy from that one thing" actor. Most of them don't show up until midway through or disappear then, so there's little attachment. In the end, Tom Hanks is the captain of this ship.

Plot: You could check out the Wikipedia page or recall the news from 4 years ago but who can remember that far back. The movie follows Phillips from boarding the ship, the pirates taking the ship, and the ensuing hostage situation. Despite knowing things like, you know how all of it plays out, this is still a very tense movie. I'm reminded a lot of how Argo handle the tension, building the moments even when the broad strokes are known. The attempts to overtake the ship are fascinating seeing both the offensive and defensive methods used (amazing how all you need is a gun and a ladder to take a boat that big). Frankly, I was amazed how nervous I was for every character in the climactic scene of the movie. One thing I would like to note that didn't work: the opening scene of Phillips and his wife, played by Catherine Keener. What was that? I'd been prepared for it, so maybe I was gunning for it to begin with but that is such a pointless scene and conversation. There has to be an easier way to establish that he has a family and doesn't like to leave them. Once that scene is out of the way though, it is all solid.

Elephant in the Room: Is this really an awards contender? This is one of the things that's been bothering me about this movie. Beyond Tom Hanks, where is the awards pedigree for this? And, it's not like Tom Hanks has been at the Meryl Streep level of getting a nomination every time he is in something (Last nomination: Cast Away in 2001). Paul Greengrass may be respected as a director but never an awarded one. This definitely fits the bill as a thriller. I'd put it in the Zero Dark Thirty category as far as awards go. Well reviewed. Technically impressive. Held up by a single powerhouse performance. Of what I've seen in this young season, Hanks' is certainly my favorite lead male performance in a movie. Not sure if that is likely to stay though.

To Sum Things Up:
Enough about awards though. This is a well-made movie that exceeds the expectations I had for it. You've got a veteran actor at the helm with really interesting debut performances. It is grounded yet exciting. It is as long as it needs to be and kind in its depiction of all perspectives (specifically, the pirates have an understood motivation). Being in the orbit of the Gravity behemoth, I don't think it will get the attention it deserves, but looking opening weekend box office numbers it is still doing fine.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood

The Pitch: Ya-Ya! It's like a slightly happier Steel Magnolias.

What Took Me So Long: Ya-Ya! When something is this fiercely targeted to women, I'm a little scared to watch it even if I shouldn't be.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) Ya-Ya! This was much funnier than I expected. Almost everything with Fionnula Flanagan, Cherry Jones, and Maggie Smith was laugh out loud funny. Ellen Burstyn got to play up the funny parts of her character. Ashley Judd got the more dramatic ends. I was surprised to see how much of the time Sandra Bullock spent as the straight-woman given her proclivity for pratfalls.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: Ya-Ya! I don't understand where it is written that a movie like this has to have some dark, dramatic moment that brings the wave of laughter crashing down. Can't this movie be funny, then pay the smallest amount of lip service to the darker things? It creates this two-headed monster of a movie that polarizes my feelings about it.

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend

Delayed Reaction: Ever After

The Pitch: A slightly tweaked version of Cinderalla.

What Took Me So Long: Enough already. There's two many Cinderalla stories. I'm tired of it.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) I saw A Cinderella Story, so I didn't have an excuse to not see this one which is much better. Drew Barrymore is a fine Womens Lib. Cinderella. Angelica Huston is a good [mostly] wicked step-mother. Melanie Lynskey is a scene-stealer (seriously, how has she not gotten a TV vehicle yet at the very least?). Given that I knew everything that was going to happen since it's a freakin' Cinderalla remake (or reimagining, or retelling, or whatever they want to call it), I enjoyed this more than I thought I would.

Why I Wish I Hadn't: If I haven't mentioned, I've see a lot of Cinderella stories, so I'm a little tired of small variations of that same story. This is one of the better ones, but still, far from new.

Verdict (?): Weakly Recommend

Delayed Reaction: The Hand that Rocks the Cradle

The Pitch: A widow tries to steal babies and kills a bunch of people, pretending to be a nanny*.

 *Ok, that's more of a plot description than a pitch but I didn't care to distinguish.

What Took Me So Long: Crazy white woman dramas aren't my thing.

Why I Saw It: (Club 50) This movie was a big hit. Like, a really big hit. Perhaps not earth shattering, but a Wreck-It-Ralph sized success. I had to know why. Rebecca De Mornay is legit crazy and it's a fun kind of put together, sociopath than Freddy Kruger (until the end). The guy from Ghostbusters goes half-tard, making me think he thought there was legit Oscar buzz behind this when he signed on. This certainly ranks in my top three Madeline Zima performances (along with Californication and The Nanny, of course).

Why I Wish I Hadn't: I think a lot of the parts that I was supposed to take as being suspenseful mostly struck me as dull. It all plays off like a better quality Lifetime movie. It couldn't make up its mind about how effectively De Mornay integrates into the family: Is she seducing the husband? Is she turning the family against the wife/mother (Annabella Sciorra)? Is Julianne Moore going to get more screen time (at least, I kept wondering that)?

Verdict (?): Weakly Don't Recommend